Chapter 12: Study Group (Part 5)

Jacky

At the appointed time, Jacky had made his way to the common room, where Hannah already had the movie queued up on the big TV. Deja and a girl with blue hair who Jacky assumed was Natalie were curled up one of the couches, talking animatedly.

"It's such a good series! I recommend it to everyone and almost no one has heard of it."

"Right? So underrated."

Jacky plunked himself down in one of the armchairs and pulled out his phone. Ryan hadn't texted him back, and he was trying not to take it as a sign of disinterest. Ryan didn't usually swear, which could mean that Ryan was actively in a situation with said entitled assholes. He looked up at Hannah expectantly. They were all here, they might as well start the movie, only Deja and Natalie were still gushing over some tv show or whatever, and Hannah didn't look like she was about to interrupt them.

"And when Juliette and Adam finally—"

"I know!"

"Hey," Jacky said loudly.

Deja and Natalie stopped talking and turned to glare at him in eerie unison.

"Are we gonna watch a movie or what?" Now Jacky looked at Hannah pointedly.

"Um, uh, yeah," Hannah whispered.

Jacky waited a beat, then asked, "Which movie is it?"

"It's – uh." Hannah took a breath and swallowed like it was difficult. "Um. It's Metropolis. First on the list."

"Great," Jacky said. When Hannah didn't move, he glanced over at Deja and Natalie. Their combined glares were murderous. "What? Did we want to make popcorn first?"

Natalie scoffed and muttered to Deja, "It's like he's never talked to anyone ever."

"I don't even think he knew we were all in the same class," Deja said back.

Jacky felt a steel mask take over his face. It was uncomfortable but familiar, the same one he wore through half of high school. And oddly, a line from the Disney movie Frozen danced through his head: Conceal don't feel. He almost started laughing hysterically.

"Anyway, let's get this show on the road," Jacky said, twirling a finger in the air.

"You have someplace else to be?" Natalie demanded. "You don't have to be here, you know. Hannah was just being nice asking you." The words she didn't say were No one else wanted you to be here. It felt like he'd fallen back in time two years, to when Monica had been paired with him for an English assignment and grabbed two other people to join them because she didn't want to work with him alone.

Unfortunately, he didn't have anywhere else to be. If he went up to his room, he'd have to watch the movie by himself while trying not to listen to the partying going on across the hall. Going to meals with Braedyn had gotten too weird, so he just went by himself and got takeout and ate alone in his room on the nights when Billy wasn't around. And he wasn't about to cross the hall and invite himself in.

"Nope." Jacky gave Natalie a cool smile. "I have all night to watch silent films."

Natalie returned Jacky's smile. "Lucky us."

They all turned their attention to Hannah, whose beet red face proclaimed how mortified she was. "Ok, I'll start it," she squeaked.

A dramatic symphonic soundtrack filled the room, which at least drowned out the tense silence.

How did it all get so fucked up? Just a few days ago he had been sure that he had successfully acclimated to college life. He'd been making friends and going on dates, and he had people to go to dinner with and one person who checked in on him and asked him to do things. One sexual encounter later and it was all gone. He was back to being that angry one-armed kid who scared everyone away.

A buzz in his pocket reminded him that there was someone out there who still cared about him. He pulled out his phone, aware that Natalie and Deja had already gone back to a quiet discussion of whatever the hell they'd been talking about before Hannah started the movie.

But it wasn't Ryan texting him back. It was his mom. You forgot your winter coat here last weekend and you'll probably need it before you come home for Thanksgiving. Do you want me to mail it to you or would you mind if I visited you and took you out to dinner this weekend? 😊

The smile on his face felt wobbly. He had been wrong, before, to think Braedyn was the one person who cared about him. He always had his mom. Dinner out sounds good!

Also, your friend Cody came by to ask for your phone number again and I told him he could sleep in the guest room and shower here rather than live in the parking lot of that pizza place

Before Jacky could even respond to that, his mother added, So he may be joining us for dinner if he isn't working

Jacky almost laughed out loud. Cool, he texted back. He felt better knowing that Cody had a place to live. Then he opened the text thread with Ryan and waited.

Ryan

When Paul decided he had to use the bathroom, Ryan was really hoping for a break from wanting to punch the guy in the face. Instead, Marina pounced. "Okay, is it just me, or do we have chemistry?"

Ryan rubbed his face with his hands. "It's just you."

"Are you serious?" Marina grabbed his arm. "No, come on. You don't think we have chemistry?"

Not wanting to be involved in Marina's love life, Ryan pulled out his phone. I'm very tired of feeling like the scholarship kid, he texted Jacky. To Marina he said, "Look, Paul seems to be full of himself, and I think you can do better."

"Really?" Marina leaned forward. "Do you have someone in mind?"

Thinking about it, Ryan realized something. "I don't have a lot of straight friends." The only one he could think of was Pete, and he was pretty sure Pete was still dating Christina. He wasn't actually sure. Between school and work, Ryan hadn't checked in much with Pete – and most of the time when he did hang out with Pete, Pete was drunk.

Ryan's phone buzzed. People are such dicks sometimes, Jacky had written. I hope not everyone is being a fuckwad? Are your lesbian roommates cool? How's Pete?

It was like Jacky could read his mind. He started typing, Actually, I'm a little worried—

"Come on, you have to throw me a bone here!" Marina hissed. "What if we went out somewhere? Not a bar, but you know, one of the campus things. And you try to find a nice guy for me."

"How did this become my job?" Ryan asked, accidentally hitting send on the text. And now Paul was back from the bathroom.

Marina unwound her bun and flipped her hair to start the process again. "It's not your job. I mean, it's fun, right? Cruising for guys together. Doesn't that sound fun, Paul?" She smiled at him upside-down. Ryan wasn't sure if she was aware of how unhinged she looked doing that. Paul, to his credit, looked like he didn't give a shit.

"I spend most of my weekends studying," Paul said flatly, and pulled out a new stack of flashcards. "Are you ready to move onto Chapter Five?"

Marina gave Ryan a look that told him she now saw his complete lack of interest. He sighed. He needed to get her a date if he wanted her off his back.