Chapter 12: Study Group (Part 1)

Jacky

In the dark theater, Jacky half-drowsed in his seat. He'd taken the World Cinema class because it filled a graduation requirement, and because he figured a class about movies would be a breeze. Little did he know he'd be subjected to German Expressionism films from the 1930s. Today it was The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and the lack of dialogue was not helping him stay awake.

Ryan had never responded to the text he'd sent last night. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Most of the time the thoughts ran along the lines of, You done fucked up, no one is ever going to want you, you made the biggest mistake of your life. Then he'd have a little fantasy that went something like this:

The moment Ryan had received that text, he had taken action. He had driven all night, maybe listening to that Cyndi Lauper song on repeat, and arrived on the Syracuse campus that morning. Jacky had just missed him in his rush to get to class on time. Ryan had no idea what dorm Jacky was in, so he had gone into the bursar's office to see if he could sweet talk someone into divulging the information. When that failed, Ryan had texted Cody, but Cody never responded. Now Ryan was asking random students if they knew anyone named Jacky Jennings with the fervor of an activist trying to get signatures on a petition. When Jacky walked out of class, he would look up and see Ryan standing there across the quad, desperate, and then Ryan would see him, and they would lock eyes, and Ryan's whole face would light up like Jacky was the best thing he'd ever seen. Then he'd run across the street, nearly getting hit by a car, and when he reached Jacky he would envelop Jacky in a hug, those big arms squeezing him so tight Jacky hoped he would never let go. "Sorry I didn't text back," Ryan would whisper in his ear. "Once I knew you wanted to get back together, I came right here."

"Hello? Jack?"

Jacky snapped out of his daydream and glared up at the interruption. A girl with long red hair stood over him. "It's Jack, right?" Her voice was a whisper. She looked like she was going to run away at any moment.

"Yeah," Jacky said, not bothering to correct her.

"Uh, I'm starting a study group to watch all the films for our midterm."

After waiting a beat for her to continue, Jacky said, "Good for you," and stood to gather his things. He hadn't taken any notes on the movie. Great.

"Uh – um, do you want to join it?"

There was something about this girl, the way she was so soft-spoken and petrified, yet persistent. It was fucking up his normal ability to make himself unapproachable. If he was mean to her, she might cry, and that would make him feel like shit. On the other hand, she seemed to really want him in her study group, for no reason Jacky could fathom.

"Why?" he asked bluntly.

She blinked and licked her lips. "I just – just thought, since we live on the same floor, it would be easier to meet up."

Jacky squinted, and suddenly he recognized her.

This was Hannah, Alexis's roommate. Alexis he knew; her voice carried through the walls no matter whose room she was visiting. In addition to being invisible in the dorms, Hannah had also been invisible in class.

"Yeah, okay," he said reluctantly.

"Great!" Even when Hannah sounded excited, her voice was barely audible. "We're going to meet Thursday night at 7 in the common room."

Jacky blinked. "We? Who else is in this group?"

"Deja and Natalie."

He nearly dropped his bag. Deja was in this class too? He looked around and saw her heading out the door. Christ, he'd really had his head up his ass all semester. Then he forgave himself a little: most of his time spent in this class was in the dark, watching a movie.

"Great," he said again, even more flatly.

Maybe Hannah would forget by Thursday night.

Ryan

Ryan had been hoping to go to the library, find a quiet corner, and decide how to respond to Jacky's text. He hadn't counted on Marina cornering him and Paul after class.

"We need to make a study group," she said matter-of-factly, like it was already something they'd all been discussing. "Midterms are coming up."

Paul – who Ryan still could not stop calling "Bizarro Lance" in his head; it was going to be a problem if they had to do more than sit next to each other in class – continued to pack up his bag without saying anything.

"I'm already in two other study groups," Ryan said. He wasn't sure when he'd be able to squeeze another one in.

Marina was undeterred. She pulled out a planner and opened it up. Each little calendar square was filled with precise writing. "So am I. But I can make time on Thursday nights and Friday mid-morning this week. What about you?"

Ryan didn't have a planner. He wished he did. His brain felt full to exploding with keeping track of his own schedule: his classes, football practices, work study hours, the two other study groups, and the T schedule. He rubbed the space between his eyebrows and tried to think.

"Thursday works for me," Paul said, buckling the straps on his messenger bag. "Library?"

"Library," Marina agreed. "Seven o'clock."

Ryan was still trying to remember if he had to work at the fitness center on Thursday night. Usually he only worked Wednesday evenings and Saturday afternoons, but he had a game Saturday so he had switched his hours around. He pulled out his phone.

"Um, hello? Does Thursday work for you or not?" Marina demanded. "It better work."

Ryan looked up from his email. Paul had gone.

"I'm just checking to see if I have to work Thursday night."

Marina suddenly began gathering up her waterfall of blonde hair and twisting it up onto her head. She jabbed her pencil through the bun and somehow it stayed in place. She put her hands on her hips.

"Look," she said in a low voice. "In case you can't tell, I'm trying to hook up with Paul, and I need you there to be my wingman."

Ryan stared at her. "So, this isn't about studying for midterms?"

"Of course it is! Two birds, one stone. Are you working or not?"

As Ryan returned to scrolling through his emails, he hoped he was working. He did not want to be Marina's wingman. He had his own romantic issues. But when he finally found the email that said he could switch for Friday night, he had to take it as a sign. After all, he did need to study for Biology.

"I can do Thursday," Ryan told Marina.

"Oh, thank God! Trying to talk with Paul is like pulling teeth sometimes." Marina made a note in her planner and packed it away.

Ryan thought for a moment. "If it's hard to talk to him, why do you want to hook up with him?"

"Ryan." Marina shook her head, and walked out the door without answering his question.

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Which study group would you rather be in?