Chapter 9: Long Weekend (Part 4)

Jacky

In the end, Jacky couldn't make himself tell Cody to leave. He sidled up to her in the laundry room while Cody was showering. "Mom, do you mind if Cody stays here tonight?"

Her shoulders drooped slightly, and he hated that he was even asking. She missed him and wanted to spend time with him; he had a feeling she'd picked out a rom-com for them to watch and had bought him a pint of Chunky Monkey (his favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor) and had a bag of kettle corn ready to pop. She'd already seemed less than thrilled that Cody was joining them for dinner. Cody had eaten tons of the spinach lasagna that was Jacky's favorite. Jacky had been hoping to take leftovers back to the dorm, and he feared that his mom noticed how little he'd eaten – he was still full from the pizza. Instead of talking about college life, Mrs. Jennings had asked the usual questions: What are you doing now? Are you still living at home? Working?

But Mrs. Jennings took a deep breath and looked at him. "He isn't staying with his dad, is he?" she asked.

That had been what Cody told her, a flat out lie. Cody's dad lived in Michigan.

"I think he's living in his car."

Mrs. Jennings took another breath, then nodded. "Okay." Then she pointed a finger not so seriously at Jacky. "But he's going to have to sit through The Proposal. And if he doesn't like Cherry Garcia, too bad."

Cherry Garcia was Ryan's favorite flavor. Jacky forced a smile. "I'm sure he'll eat anything. His body is a garbage can."

And then Cody slept over, snoring so loudly in the guest bedroom that Jacky's mother closed that door and the door to her own room.

Saturday was spent helping his mom fold his newly washed clothes, and then they went for a short hike on a local trail. Cody was still sleeping, so Jacky left him a note. "I joined a hiking group on Facebook," his mother said as they crunched through brightly colored leaves.

"I didn't realize you liked hiking." Jacky had noticed his mother's new hiking boots and her cargo pants and backpack.

"It was lonely when you went off to school, and one of my coworkers suggested it. She's in the group, too. We do a lot of hikes together. You'll be proud; your old mother has hiked two four-thousand-footers."

"Wow," Jacky said, then quickly added, "And you're not old."

The time outside and the space between their conversation gave Jacky time to clear his head of the college nonsense. He realized he was truly looking forward to the party tonight. He wanted that old familiarity, with friends who knew him and cared about him, that he could trust. And he wanted to see Ryan. He wanted to know if he'd made a huge mistake breaking up with him.

When it came time to get ready for the party, Jacky carefully selected a concert t-shirt he'd gotten from a thrift shop near campus – it was a Led Zeppelin shirt, probably not truly vintage, but the important part was that it was a faded pink, not black. He added his leather jacket and put some gel in his hair.

Cody was sitting on Jacky's bed eating Corn Pops out of a small mixing bowl when Jacky emerged from the bathroom. He chewed and took in Jacky's outfit. "You've changed," he said after swallowing.

"What? Is it bad that I want to look good?"

Struggling to a seat position, Cody set the mixing bowl aside. "I guess Ryan will be there?"

Jacky shrugged and adjusted his hair in the mirror.

"Dude," Cody said.

Jacky finally looked at him. "I don't know if he'll be there."

"You haven't talked to him? What about Monica, doesn't she know?" Cody heaved himself up and joined Jacky in the mirror, straightening out the hem of his hoodie. "I thought she basically lived up his ass—"

Jacky elbowed him. "Monica's cool now, remember? Anyway, she didn't say."

"So you're hoping he's there," Cody drawled.

"Yeah," Jacky said without looking at him.

For a minute Cody didn't say anything. Then, "You wanna smoke a little before we go? Like, drive around and smoke?"

"I guess we're taking your car, then, cuz you know my mom won't be cool with that going down in her car."

They left early for the party, and while Cody smoked more than Jacky, there was something about having spent a few hours hiking and now riding around in the golden hour before sunset that made everything feel like it was going to be okay. Jacky hadn't quite realized how much school was stressing him out, between worrying about completing his schoolwork and the constant battle not to think about Ryan and wondering if Braedyn was gay or not.

Monica answered the door and threw a hug around his shoulders before he could even brace himself. He crashed back into Cody and they all laughed. She smelled like coconut conditioner and strawberry wine coolers. "It's so good to see you guys again!" Monica gushed, and pulled Cody into a hug, too. Once released, he rubbed the back of his hair and blushed.

They followed Monica inside, where fewer people than Jacky expected had gathered in the living room. Jacky looked around at the familiar faces: Alex, the former football team captain, next to Peyton, the former head cheerleader; Lance, Ryan's best friend, arm wrestling with Matt, who had already gained a bit of a beer gut. A few people Jacky recognized from student council or sports teams, but also a girl Jacky remembered from English class – Jane, he vaguely recalled – as well as Tyler, the guy Billy had dumped Jacky for back in middle school.

And, Jacky noticed almost immediately, no Ryan.

He half-turned, wanting to ask Monica, then stopped himself. Beside him, Cody shrugged. "No Nina," he said glumly.

Jacky headed toward the kitchen to get a drink. "I don't know why you're still hung up on her. She seemed pretty happy dating Haylee all last year."

When Cody didn't answer, Jacky glanced back at him.

Cody had never had a good poker face. The look he gave Jacky now resembled a puppy who'd been found eating a shoe.

"Is there something you need to tell me, Cody Mitchell?" Jacky asked, trying not to smile.

"I might have hooked up with them a few times," Cody said, rubbing the back of his hair again.

"Them?" Jacky coughed out. "As in a threesome?"

"Haylee called us a 'thruple,'" Cody said. He looked back at the living room. "She's not here, either."

Jacky closed his eyes and shook his head. "Wait, wait. You were in a three-way relationship with Nina and Haylee all last year?"

"Yeah."

Taking a deep breath, Jacky opened his eyes to see Cody reaching for one of the beers in the fridge. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

Cody pulled off the cap and handed it to Jacky before taking one out for himself. Matt wandered into the kitchen and took the beer out of Cody's hand before he could drink it. "Thanks, bro," Matt said before leaving.

They watched him go with open mouths, then Cody reached back in and took another. "Look, you were all wrapped up in a Ryan sandwich, and I kinda thought you knew..."

"Okay but—" Jacky stopped and took a swig before continuing. "So what happened? Nina went away to school and you all broke up?"

"Nah."

For a moment Jacky thought Cody wasn't going to answer. He waited impatiently while Cody drained half the beer.

"Haylee's dad found out at the beginning of summer, and he sent her to a boarding school."

"Um, what?" Jacky couldn't believe all of this had happened right under his nose. Cody was right: he had been totally wrapped up in a Ryan sandwich.

"Yeah. It sucks. Wanna go out back and smoke?"

"Okay, but—"

He didn't get to finish his next question before Monica bounded into the kitchen with her phone out. She came around the kitchen island and held the phone out in selfie mode. "Guys, I need pics for my Instagram!"

It suddenly occurred to him how drunk Monica was. He'd gotten used to the girls at college being like this, but Monica had always been a little more reserved. Or maybe he could recognize it better now that he'd been that drunk.

Monica took a few smiling pics with Jacky baring his teeth in a forced smile and Cody squinting, then she threw her arms around Jacky again. "Okay, byeeeeee," she squealed, before flouncing off again.

Cody and Jacky headed outside and settled in on the Adirondack chairs on the back porch. The night air was cool, but the crickets were still singing in the darkness. The party felt far away. They passed a joint a few times, blowing smoke up into the stars.

"Weird to be here without Ryan," Jacky said finally.

"I didn't want to say it," Cody said.

Jacky sighed and picked at the wood on the arm of his chair. "I guess this is just making it obvious how much these guys were all Ryan's friends first."

"I wish you didn't have to go away to school," Cody mumbled.

"What are you going to do?" Jacky asked, grateful to move to a subject that didn't make his throat feel so tight.

Cody thumbed the ash off the joint. "Beg Jeff to not fire me from Pizza Za, I guess."

"Come on. I mean, where are you going to live?"

"My car, like I have been for the past two months." To Jacky's surprise, Cody stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To get another drink. You coming?"

With nothing else he could do, Jacky followed him, and proceeded to get absolutely shitfaced.

Ryan

Pete crashed into the room at two a.m., and Ryan sat up in time to see Pete ricochet off the desk and fall over the chair, feet flying through the air.

"Are you okay?" Ryan whispered, throwing back his covers.

"Ryan!" Pete sat up and held out his arms like he'd just completed a gymnastics flip. "What's up!"

"It's the middle of the night, that's what." Ryan helped Pete to his unsteady feet. His roommate reeked of whiskey, and Ryan pulled back. "Whoa, did you drink the whole bar?"

"Can't go to a bar," Pete said brightly. "But Chrisssina shared her drinks wi' me." He grinned up at Ryan, then started to peel off his shirt. Ryan stepped back to avoid his flailing elbows. "Help, I'm stuck."

Ryan helped Pete find his way out of his shirt. "Who's Christina?"

"Who?"

"Christina. Who shared her drinks with you."

With his pudgy belly thus freed, Pete stepped on his own heel to kick off his sneaker and would have toppled over if Ryan hadn't caught him and held him upright. "Oh yeah. You know Christina?"

"No." Ryan's patience was wearing thin. "You just told me about her."

Pete got one shoe off, then stood partially stooped, staring at Ryan's bed.

"You good?" Ryan asked, just before Pete blurted, "I'm gonna hurl," and staggered two steps to vomit on the floor.

At least he had only hit the base of Ryan's laundry basket, but there was still plenty to clean up and Ryan had to peel Pete up off the floor and put him in the bottom bunk before he could finally try to get to sleep himself. Rather than sleep in Pete's top bunk, he shuffled out to the living room with his phone and curled up on the couch. He had an Instagram notification: Monica had tagged him in a post.

So great to see all my old friends again! Well, not all... We missed you Ryan! <3 Next time you better be here!

Ryan thumbed through the photo set. There was Lance and Matt arm-wrestling, and Alex clinking shot glasses with Peyton. Monica and some of her cheerleader friends with arms around each other smiling like crazy. And then—

The next photo sucked all the air out of his lungs.

Jacky and Cody, flanking Monica, who had clearly forced them to be in a photo. Cody was focused on something beyond the camera, while Jacky was practically growling, his dark hair swooping over his forehead in messy spikes.

Flicking through the photo set twice more, Ryan saw that this was the only photo with Jacky in it. He zoomed in. Despite the bravado of the snarl, Jacky looked pale and tired, but maybe that was just the lighting. Seeing that familiar face made Ryan feel pangs of something that alternated between desire and nausea.

As much as Ryan wanted to keep looking at that photo, Ryan shut off his phone and lay in the dark. Even when he closed his eyes all he could see was Jacky's face. Jacky looked like he had when Ryan had first met him, really met him, that day in the waiting room. Angry, with big defensive walls.

And Ryan both wanted to give him a hug, and to punch him in the face.