Chapter 22

"He's just being kind of moody is all. I can't blame him."

"Yeah, I can get like that. I just turn into a little bitch. It happens."

"Does Daniel deal with it okay?" I asked Marcus.

"Oh yeah. He's so patient. He kind of thinks it's cute when I'm getting emotional and angry. He says I'm like an angry puppy, so I calm down."

"That's lucky for you. Lafayette is like a fucking lion when he's angry."

Marcus laughed. "I do remember getting into fights with him. That was all my fault though."

"I can deal with it now. He hasn't been as negative. He's my man. I have to take care of him."

"That's cute. Oh! My dad and I are moving in with Daniel."

I raised a brow. "Your dad, too?" I asked.

"Yeah, well Dad is going to stay in the loft above the garage and then Daniel and I are going to stay in his little house. It's really awesome. I love being close with him and his family. You know?"

"My family is like that. We all live within a few blocks of each other."

"I so want to marry him," Marcus sighed. "But we're not quite there yet."

"Lafayette and I said we'd get married eventually. He kind of proposed, but really we're just talking about getting married. He's going to have an elaborate proposal, or so he told me, but he can make things really big so I'm kind of expecting it. I think he'll propose to me on New Year's."

Marcus grinned excitedly. "Really? That's so exciting!"

"I mean, I don't know if he will, but I just have this feeling. Before he took me on our first date, he was kind of distant, and then he surprised me with the date. He's been a little distant in the past few days, but still loving and everything, so I think he's going to propose. I'm not sure if he's having a party or not, but he also said he'd come out to the public on New Year's."

"Oh my god! He's going to throw a huge party and act like it's just a regular party, but then all your friends and stuff will do something cute and he'll propose right in front of the camera man!"

"I don't think it'll be exactly like that."

Marcus rolled his eyes. "Well not exactly, but similar."

I laughed, getting myself excited. I really shouldn't get ahead of myself. He's stressed out. I doubt he's planning a proposal right now, but who knows...

"He's so going to propose. It's so like him to do that, you know? He'll propose New Year's, and then next year on New Year's you'll get married!"

"Sh! He's just in the office," I hissed.

"Oh he's not paying attention. He doesn't eavesdrop."

"Just keep your voice down."

"Whatever. Can you imagine the size of your ring?"

"He's not going to get me an engagement ring. He's just going to propose."

"You know for a fact he's going to get you a ring. It's going to be huge."

I rolled my eyes.

"What's huge?" Emilio asked, entering with Michael.

"Em's engagement ring."

"WHAT!" Michael screeched.

"Will you all be quiet?" I snapped. "I'm not engaged. We were just thinking that Lafayette might propose to me on New Year's."

"Your ring will be huge," Michael said.

"Totally. The ones he was loo-" Emilio slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Emilio! You're such a dumbass!" Michael yelled.

"What? I didn't say anything."

"He was looking at rings?" I asked, excitedly.

"Psh, he was...maybe."

"See! He's gonna propose," Marcus chimed.

"It doesn't matter. He can propose whenever he wants." I was trying to be calm, but on the inside I was freaking out. He was going to propose!

I woke up in the afternoon on the 30th, having slept in because Lafayette was really in the mood last night. I went to the bathroom and decided to skip the shower, not in the mood for it that day. Lafayette left some clothes out for me to wear, so I slipped them on. They were just a pair of regular jeans and a t-shirt along with my flats. My coat was sitting there, too, and I assumed we were going to go some place, so I put it on as well. I went into the office and Lafayette was looking out the window. He had his ear piece in but he wasn't talking to anyone so I assumed his phone call was over. There was some luggage sitting by the door and I grew a little excited, because maybe we were going on a trip for New Year's. I hadn't heard him planning a party or anything, so it's what I assumed.

"Going somewhere?" I asked.

He turned around to face me, saying, "You are."

The smile vanished from my face. I could tell things were not alright. He looked like a stranger standing before me. There was a distant look in his eyes, a hard look. "What're you saying?"

He sighed. "Remember when I said I was a great liar?"

I didn't say anything.

"Well, that is one of the only true things I've ever said to you."

I didn't know what to say, panic rising in me. This couldn't be happening.

"Emerson, why would I have hired a stranger to be my assistant when I'm doing so many illegal things? I didn't know you at all. Michael said he could do the job for me. You hardly did anything in the first place. Why would I ask you to move in with me, too? Because I liked you? Everything I did was a lie. I did it all for money."

"You mean you dated me, said you loved me, slept with me, and made me love you for money?" I asked, holding back tears.

"Yeah. Remember Solanzki?"

"What about him?"

"Him and I are together."

If ever your heart could break, that's when mine broke. I couldn't describe the pain that I felt, but I had never felt so horrible in my life. I just wanted to close my eyes and wake up in a new life. I wanted to die. "What?" I asked.

"Look, Rick Solanzki and I are together and ever since last year - when Donald retired - our friend Micah Schumacher made a bet with us. He said that if I could get a new assistant to fall in love with me within the next year then he'd give me a billion dollars. I hired you, bought you things, flirted with you, made you move in with me as a part of this bet. I was hesitant to actually ask you out, but then I didn't want to lose the bet. I couldn't give up a billion dollars."

"And you're telling me this now? After a few months of already being together? What about fucking Solanzki? You've been sleeping with me while you're with him?"

"He lives in England. What he doesn't know can't hurt him." He crossed his arms. "Did you really think I was going to propose?"

I felt myself sinking. I really did think he was going to propose... "I can't believe this. So you used me to get money, but then you just decided to use me to get sex, too?"

He shrugged.

"But...what about your depression and -"

"You're not what made me happy. Rick did. We started to date after he gave me Artman's house back. He's the reason why I've gotten better. Not you."

"So I'm just nothing to you except a toy in your game?"

"Exactly."

"This can't be true! You're not like this!" I didn't believe him. I couldn't.

"I'm a great liar. I've done tons of illegal things that you have no idea about. You were my alibi. You made it so easy for me to do things."

"So you've never loved me?"

"No." No hesitation.

"I can't believe you! How could you do this to me! Everything you did for me was just so I'd fall in love with you?"

"Yes."

"It never occurred to you that if I fell in love with you and then you dumped me then I just might be heart broken?"

"It did, but I didn't care. I really don't care Emerson. You can call me a monster all you want but I don't care."

I just couldn't explain it. My chest was in immense pain and I felt so empty. This pain was excruciating. I loved this man, but I just fell in for his trap. I fell in love with the man he claimed to be, but he's nothing but a monster. They told me Lafayette Jeff was a very powerful man, but I never understood how powerful. It wasn't just his money. He has the power to deceive, the power of lies, the power to persuade. I felt so loved by him, but I know he's loved many people before. I didn't want it to happen. I would've done anything for him. I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare, but it was real. He used me. He didn't love me. We were over.

"You'll care if I tell everyone about all your crimes," I stated. I just needed to wait longer, so he could say it was a joke.

"Do you want to die? Because if you dare say a word about anything I've done then you can expect a bullet in your head."

"What's your problem! You donate so much money but then you use me to get money back?"

"I only donate millions of dollars a few times a year. Here I could get back all the money, plus a little more. I haven't donated a billion dollars. I'd be getting my money back plus more."

"I can't believe this."

"Well you better. Take your things and leave."

"What am I supposed to do!"

"Go back to your parents' house. Find a new guy. Get a new job."

"You think it's that easy? Are you going to give me a damn recommendation?"

"Of course not."

"I've worked here for four years! I don't have a college degree! If I don't have a recommendation then I can't get a good job!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have dropped out of college."

"Maybe you should've taken a few more pills."

He finally really looked at me, square in the eyes. "And if I did that, then this company never would have been born and people wouldn't have been better off. I might have hurt you, but I've saved plenty of other people. What's other people compared to you? You're one person. They're millions of people. Maybe you shouldn't be so selfish."

"You're disgusting."

"I don't care. Take your things and go already."

It wasn't fair. I wanted to say something to hurt him the way he hurt me, but I couldn't. He just didn't care about me. On the other hand, I didn't want to hurt him. I wanted to shake him and have him tell me he was lying. He did love me and he did want to be with me. I wanted him to, but he'd be lying.

I grabbed my bags, not having many because he didn't put all of the clothes he bought me in my bags. I threw two over my shoulder and carried the other one.

"Emerson wait."

I stopped in front of the door. He walked over to me and got close to me. He reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. He retrieved my employee ID and his credit card. I opened the door and walked through, slamming it behind me. No one was in the workroom. I went down the elevator and walked to the train station. I got on and walked to my house once I got off. It was a long walk, but I didn't care. I was crying and it was cold but it didn't matter. I cleared my tears once I arrived home. I walked inside and sat my bags down next to the table. "Mom? Dad?" I called.

"Emerson?" I heard Dad say. He came in from the bathroom and looked at me. "Hey son. What're you doing home?"

I bit my lip, trying not to cry.

"What's wrong?" he asked, walking over to me.

"Lafayette broke up with me," I sobbed. I couldn't hold it in.

"What? Come here." He wrapped me in his big arms, holding me tight.

"He was just using me, Dad. He was never in love with me. He was just using me to win a bet."

"What?" he asked, sounding angry.

"He's been in a relationship with some other guy for a long time now and he was just using me to win a bet so he could win money. He doesn't care about me in any way Dad." I hadn't cried that hard in such a long time. "Everything he did, he only did it so I'd fall in love with him."

"Oh Emerson." Dad held me tighter. "I'm so sorry. Let's go up to your room so you can get some rest, alright?"

"I won't be able to sleep. I just can't do anything, Dad."

"Come on, son."

We went upstairs but I didn't want to sleep in my room because Lafayette and I had been in there too many times, so he let me use his bed. He took off my shoes for me and pulled the blanket over me. He sat on the other side of the bed and looked down at me.

"I'm sorry this had to happen to you, Em."

"It's not fair Dad. I was so sure he loved me. I felt like he truly loved me, but he said he's a great liar. Obviously he is. It's just not fair, Dad. I cared about him so much, gave him so much, but he didn't even want it. I didn't think he could ever be so cruel, but there was a side to him I never knew. I mean, they say you'll never have a great boss. I should have believed them. I should've known not to be in a relationship with him." I covered my face, sobbing into my hands. "It hurts so bad, Dad. I want to be with him so bad again and I want him to love me. But I also just want to punch him. He hurt me so bad. He's completely screwed me over, Dad. I won't be able to get a good job because he won't give me a recommendation and I don't have a degree or anything. I can't date anyone because I'm so heartbroken. My friends will just remind me of him. It sucks Dad."

"I know son." He rubbed my arm to comfort me. "Try to get some sleep. It'll make you feel better. Alright?"

I nodded, curling up in the blanket.

He kissed the top of my head and turned off the light, looking at me once before leaving.

I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I really couldn't. I had spent over a year with Lafayette, and the past few months being in a relationship with him. I was so used to seeing his face every single day, hearing his voice, having a conversation with him, sleeping next to him in bed. He had been a constant in my life ever since last year. There was hardly a day that I didn't see him. For so many months we had such great conversations. We had held each other every night. He said he loved me everyday. All of the wonderful things he did for me and said to me - they weren't true? I could believe him when he said he was using me to win a bet. I could believe him when he said he was in another relationship. And I could believe him when he said we were over. But I couldn't believe that he didn't care about me at all. It seemed impossible. He must've cared about me a little. He said he did everything for me so I'd fall in love with him and so he'd get his money, but he didn't have to do some things. He didn't have to pay for my parents' retirement. He didn't have to buy me a car. He didn't have to go to my aunt's funeral with me. He should know that just talking to me is what made me fall in love with him. He said so many things to me that were just wonderful and loving. Some of it had to be true right? I mean, I could just be deceiving myself. I might be in denial, and I probably am, but something tells me he cared about me a little. Can anyone really lie that greatly?

I couldn't get to sleep, which was a first. I stopped crying, though. A long time passed before Mom came up to the room. "Em?" she asked, entering.

"Yeah Mom?" I asked, sighing.

She came in and sat next to me on the bed. I could tell Dad told her what happened. She put her hand on my cheek and looked at me sentimentally. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Don't cry for me Mom."

"You just look so sad right now, and as your mother I hate seeing you look like this. Your father looked very upset when I got home. He looked like he wanted to break the table, and I've seen him do it before."

"What's he doing?"

"He went for a drive."

"What? Mom, he's probably gonna blow up Lafayette's building."

"No. He'll just give him a stern talking to."

"And maybe a fist to the face."

"Well he deserves it."

"Mom."

"I'm sorry, but he does."

I sighed. I was done with crying. Now I was just empty. Is this how Lafayette felt? Before he took those pills, did he feel this low - or lower? I put a hand on my aching head. I told him he should've taken more pills. I forgot about that. Why would he have told me such personal details? Yeah, I overheard him and Michael talking about his depression, but he eventually told me. He didn't have to tell me a lot about himself. He didn't have to tell me he tried to commit suicide. Maybe he was using me in another way. Maybe he just wanted me to care for him, to comfort himself, without him really caring about me. I just couldn't believe he was so bad of a person he would use me, destroy me, break my heart - just for money. Then again, he had his underground business for the sole purpose of money. I guess I could believe it.

"I hope Dad breaks his nose," I mumbled.

"I'm certain he will," Mom said.

"You should probably call Dad. Tell him not to go. Lafayette could send him to jail."

"Your dad is quite persuasive. He'll be okay."

"He's really big. I don't want him to hurt Lafayette too bad." Dad was really burly...

"Nonsense. Lafayette Jeff will get what's coming to him."

"I don't know what I'm going to do Mom."

"Just move past it sweetie."

"How? For one thing, I'm still in love with him. But I can't even get back on my feet. He won't give me a letter of recommendation and I don't have a degree. I don't have a car. I don't have any friends. I don't have anything."

"You have me, and Daddy, and everyone else in the family. Someone in this family can get you a decent job. You can start taking online classes. I mean, he can't take back our retirement, and we still have money left over. What about you? Do you have any cash or anything?"

"Yeah, I have some that will keep me going for a little while."

"It'll be okay Em. You have a family to fall back on. What does he have? Nothing. Everyone else falls back on him. Eventually everyone is going to be too heavy and so he'll collapse."

"I miss him, Mom. I loved him so much. I was looking forward to being with him for the rest of my life."

"I'm sorry, hon."

"I feel so lost."

"You'll feel lost for a little while, but then you'll start to get back into it."

"I don't want to do anything."

"You don't have to for a while." She kissed my head the way Dad did and stood up, leaving the room.

Sometimes, I really wished Kenneth didn't kill himself. I'd like to think that if he didn't then we would have dated. We would've dated all through high school, would've gone to college. Maybe. Maybe we'd just go ahead and live in the city, open up a coffee shop. He'd be a football coach at a high school. I like to think that this would have happened. At first it was because I missed him. He had been my best friend and he just got me and understood me. Though now, I wish he was still alive because then I could love someone who loved me back. I wouldn't have met Lafayette, and I wouldn't be this miserable.

I also wish I didn't take the promotion. I'd still be on the 23rd floor and I would have my friends. I'd still live in my apartment and I'd be trying to find the right guy, without wanting to get with my boss.

But really, a part of me doesn't regret it. I had so many amazing memories, even though a lot of them were lies. I still have a lot of great clothes. I got to travel the entire world. I made friends with Michael, Emilio, Donald, and Vince. I wasn't sure if they were in on the scheme, but I was still glad I met them. And, even though he lied, I still loved the memories of Lafayette and I. Or I should say, the memories that I and the persona Lafayette put on shared. I loved the fake Lafayette, just not the real one. He taught me some things, whether that was really him speaking or his persona. He helped me in some ways. And I also learned that some people in the world look amazing, and they might act amazing, but they can still be a huge piece of shit.

I finally fell asleep, and I woke up earlier than I had in months. I woke up at seven in the morning. I went to the bathroom and changed into comfier clothes. I went downstairs and poured some chocolate milk. I did what anyone in my generation does first. I got on the computer and checked my mail. I deleted everything and got a new email address. I kept the old one, though, for hope that maybe Lafayette would just email me. I can't help but be pathetic. I went onto my Facebook and changed my profile picture, which had been of me, Michael, Emilio, and Lafayette on Halloween. I had all the photos on my computer of Lafayette and I, but I couldn't manage to delete them from Facebook. I just moved them to a new album and made the album only visible by me. I didn't even bother with my Twitter, not wanting to touch it ever again. Finally I went to Yahoo and what would you know? The first story to pop up was about Lafayette.

"Lafayette Jeff sports new bruises."

Thanks Dad.

I looked on the article and there was an image of Lafayette with a black eye, a bruised nose, and a bruised cheek.

The article was short and stupid, not saying who gave the bruises or anything. Stupid writers. I could write better than that. Thinking about the poor writing, I thought of my own writing. I went back upstairs to my room. Under my bed, there was a huge tub full of stories I never finished. Some were from when I was eleven, all the way up to when I was eighteen, before going to college. My writing style fluctuated greatly. When I was younger, I misspelled words more, but I described things in great detail. Though the plot was sloppy and it never made sense. When I got older, it made more sense, but was less detailed and I just never finished them. I read through some of the stupid stories, and some of them were really sex-filled because I had been so curious with sex as a teen. Before Kenneth passed away, I would always write stories about Ethan and Kennard, which was basically about me and Kenneth. After he passed away, though, my stories randomly got super depressing. I'd write about a girl who got abused in every sense, or I'd write some weird science fiction story. My stories varied, but they were never amazing.

I put all of my stories back into the tub and then grabbed my laptop. I pulled up a new document and actually started to write. I hadn't written in such a long time. I was simply back in the mood to write. I didn't write much. I just wrote about a really mean and shallow guy and how he got hit by a car and ended up becoming paralyzed. Though no one liked him when he was paralyzed because he expected everyone to do things for him but they didn't want to. People shoved him and made him look stupid. Eventually one boy came along and was nice to him, but the guy was such a piece of shit he didn't take his kindness. So he grew old and died alone. It was a lot more detailed of the guy's pain and misery and the karma he got.

"Oh Emerson!"

I saved the document and shut the laptop. Before I could do anything, Alisha came barging into the room. She jumped onto the bed and tackled me into a hug.

"Oh Em, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said.

She pulled away and looked at me. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, I still feel empty and hurt, but I'm trying to move past it I guess."

"That was one thing I was always jealous of. You just accepted things and moved on."

"I don't do that."

"Yeah you do. Like with Aunt Carmen's funeral. You accepted that she was gone, knew she was in a good place, and didn't let it stop you. You worried about everyone, but you learned to make the most with the people you love. That's what you're doing now. You're accepting it and moving on, even if you still feel empty."

I shrugged. "I think the reason why I'm like that is because I'm always in denial."

"It's because you see the glass half full on everything." She smiled and rested her head against my shoulder, cuddling up to me. "That's why everyone loves you. Clovis's parents like you. Hell, some of the other siblings like you more than they like Lafayette. So when they found out they were appalled. They couldn't believe Lafayette would do that. His mom called him and yelled at him. She was saying how he's always been selfish. I was there when she was on the phone with him. Oh! And Michael was so pissed off he quit. I don't know about Vince and Emilio. I've only met them a few times but I think if Michael quits then they'd quit. Apparently he shut down the entire building today."

"It's a holiday."

She stopped, realizing that it was indeed New Year's. "Shut up!"

"Well it is!"

She laughed, and I found myself laughing, too.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't as screwed over as I thought. I was sure that he fucked up my life, considering he was friends with my friends and I couldn't get a job. But, Mom said that Grandpa's friend would be willing to offer me a job. She told Grandpa what happened, and he told his friend that my boss was simply a crook. So his friend said he'd give me a job after the new year, and apparently the starting pay was $13.50. It was mostly secretary work, too, which I was good at already. Michael gave me a call later on in the day and he said he was so outraged at Lafayette. He said he never thought he could do such a thing. He was in as much disbelief as I was. So I wasn't too bad. I had my amazing family, some great friends, and I was going to get a decent job.

Even though I was heart broken, there were lots of new things to look forward to in the new year.