Clarrisa's POV

Damon and I didn’t speak for the rest of the ride home. He’d broken my heart, and he didn’t even know it.

I closed my eyes when the jeep stopped. I took a deep breath and opened the door before he had a chance to do so. Damon usually likes opening my door for me; he didn’t do it every time, but he did it a lot in the past.

I don’t say anything to him as I storm into the house. I walk past Dante and my parents after waving at them. I tried not to give anything away. I didn’t want anyone to know how upset I truly was.

“Clarissa!” Atticus says as he spots me. “Glad to see that you’re finally back from the beach. How was it? And where is Autumn?”

He looks a bit tensed, and I think he somehow already knows that we were all at the party. I try to act as innocent as possible. Hopefully, Damon could help answer his questions instead.

“It was okay,” I lie. “Autumn is with Griffin. They’re dropping Anya home.”

He frowns, “Wasn’t Damon with Anya? Why didn’t he drop her home instead? As far as I know, he had a date with her. What is he doing at home with you instead? Did something happen that you guys aren’t telling me?”

“Autumn offered,” I explain. “She wanted Damon to drop me home.”

He looks confused and slightly suspicious, but he doesn’t bother asking any more questions as he sees Damon behind me.

“So you did end up checking up on Clarissa after all,” Atticus points out. “Yet you acted like it wasn’t bothering you that she was at the beach earlier today when I asked you.”

My face turns red at his words. Atticus still didn’t know it was all a lie. I don’t wait to hear Damon’s response as I rush back to my room. I dropped myself onto the bed and fought against the tears that threatened to fall. I’ve been holding it back since Damon told me to forget the kiss. I was only trying to explain to him how much the kiss had meant to me. I didn’t mean to make him upset.

Why did it have to be this family? Why did I have to get adopted into his family? I knew I was only asking these questions because I couldn’t be with Damon, but it hurt so damn much. I didn’t want anyone else but him, and he would never choose to be with me because he’s supposed to act as my big brother and nothing else.

I loved every person in this house, but my love for Damon was on another level. I was crazy about him. I would do anything for him. I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing, however. I was fighting for him, but I wasn’t sure if that was what he wanted. He kept pushing me away every time I tried to get us closer to each other.

For the rest of the day, I stayed in bed with my bikini still on. I didn’t bother changing. I was too depressed to do anything but lie in bed.

“Clarissa?” Autumn calls from the doorway a few hours later.

“Come in.”

She opens the door and joins me on the bed.

“You haven’t changed?” She asks as she notices the same outfit from earlier.

I sigh, “I’m too depressed to change.” I confess. She frowns, “Depressed? I thought you would be happy. You finally got to kiss Damon, and I also made it possible for the both of you to ride home together, alone. Without Anya. And you also successfully ruined their date together.”

I pout, “Thank you so much for earlier. I know you tried so hard to give me everything I wanted, but I think we may have caused more damage than good.”

“Really?” she asks, confused. “What happened to make you think that way? Did Damon say something to you?”

I nod, “He did. I tried to tell him how much that kiss meant, but he asked me not to finish my sentence. Then he said the kiss should have never happened, and he asked for us never to speak about it again.”

Autumn sighs and hugs me, “I know how much those words must have hurt, but you need to remember that Damon has always protected you since the first day his parents adopted you. Even though he most likely has feelings for you, it won’t be easy for him to accept. He will feel like he’s betraying his parents, and he will feel like he’s betraying Anya. I can speak from experience. It was a little different with me since Atticus married me.

But I knew how guilty he felt about Anya for a while. He hurt me a lot while trying to spare her feelings. Damon is very similar to his brother. It will be harder for him since he’s supposed to see you as his younger sister. You’re going to have to be patient with him and also with yourself.”

Autumn’s words did make plenty of sense, and she did have more experience than I did when it came to things like this.

“Thank you for always making me feel better.” She smiles, “you’ve always done the same for me. It would be unfair of me if I let you go through all these things yourself.”

“You’re the best, Autumn!”

She laughs and walks over to the door. “I need to make up with my husband now. He just found out that I was at Ares’s party. He’s freaking out a little.”

“I’m so sorry!”

She waves her hand. “Don’t you apologize for that. It was my idea, to begin with. Get changed and fix that frown. I don’t want to come back here and see you like this.”

I nodded, and as soon as she left, I dropped back onto the bed. The only good thing about today was my kiss with Damon, and somehow I think that’s probably the worst part of his day.

Autumn was right, however. I had to be more patient with Damon. He’s always protected me from harm. It will take some time before he can change from my protector to the man pleasuring me in all the ways I dreamed of him doing.

I blushed at my crazy thoughts. There’s a knock on my door, and I freeze. Was that Autumn again? Or could that be Atticus coming to ask about the party?

“Clarissa?”

My eyes widened at that voice.

Damon.

What did he want? Earlier, he made it seem like he didn’t want to speak to me. Why was he suddenly in front of my door?