Damon's POV

No words have ever cut deeper than these spoken by Clarissa. It’s the first time she’s been so clear about her feelings. She’s always given little hints through her actions, but it’s the first time her words have been this clear.

I’ve always been able to control myself, telling myself that I was wrong, that she meant something else. But this time, it was so clear that I couldn’t deny her words.

She doesn’t realize how happy it makes me to know that I’m the one that she wants. She doesn’t realize that I want her too. I’ve wanted her for so fucking long that it physically hurts to be this close to her and not have her in my arms.

I’m tempted to dip my head lower to touch my l!ps to hers. I’m tempted to nip at her earlobe and s.uck on the skin behind her ear. I’m tempted to bite her neck and claim what was rightfully mine since the start.

Mine.

fuck.

Why have I always been this possessive over her?

My possessiveness has only grown over the past few days. I was so possessive over her that I would literally kill anyone that touched her inappropriately.

Damn it, I almost killed myself the last time I lost control around her.

Did all Fawns have the same tourcher to deal with?

Atticus was also supposed to love only Anya, but somehow Autumn could gain his heart without even trying. It was the same with me. I was thought only to have eyes for Anya, but somehow Clarissa is all that I can see. She has always been by my side, and she’s someone I trust more than anyone else in this world.

Happiness for me meant having her by my side. Nothing could ever feel as good as having her in my arms, close to me, where I could touch and smell her.

This only meant that I would be miserable after marrying Anya. I would lose the one person that made me happy. But I would do it all again as long as she got to live a normal life.

I couldn’t deny my feelings anymore. It was clear as day that I wanted Clarissa and not Anya. I would always care for Anya, and I would always protect her, but I didn’t want her in the way that I wanted Clarissa. It was different.

But even this fact couldn’t change our faith. It was already too late for us. It was too late the moment my family chose her. I couldn’t let her see how affected I was by her words. I couldn’t let her think that she’d won.

If she knew that she was breaking down the walls I’d put up to keep her safe; she would keep pushing. I knew Clarissa; she never stopped fighting unless she felt there was nothing left to fight for.

“I’m sorry, Clarissa.” I apologize even though I knew it would only annoy her.

She hates when I apologize to her, and maybe that’s partly why I always do it. I don’t want to bring her closer to me; I want to push her away.

“You should get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”

“This isn’t over.” She threatens me.

I turned away from her, ready to leave, before I made another big mistake.

“If you can marry someone you don’t want, I could do the same.” She threatens me.

I pause midway.

Marry someone she didn’t want to marry? To get back at me? Was that some sick twisted revenge?

What the fuck?

Suddenly, my feet can’t move, not even an inch forward. I’m stuck on the ground, shocked by her threat. I never once thought about it. If I married Anya, that meant Clarissa would also, one day, marry. Someone else. Someone that wasn’t me.

How the hell was I ever supposed to be okay with that?

No man has ever been good enough for Clarissa. She’s always been better than everyone around her, in my eyes.

How does she always know exactly what to say to pierce my heart? How did she know that it would k!ll me inside to even think about her with another man?

I can hear her footsteps closing in on me. The moment that she appears in front of me, my eyes lift from the ground to focus on her.

Was this a real threat, or was she only saying this to get under my skin? Would she truly marry another man just to hurt me? Would she destroy her life because I was destroying mine to protect her?

She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t dare.

“Will that make you feel better?” She asks me. “Would you be happier with me if I found someone else to love? Someone else to kiss and touch. Someone else to hold me. Someone else to make me feel the things that only you make me feel. Would that make you proud, Damon?”

“Stop it.”

They were just two words from me, but they were words that marked my breaking point. They were words torn from my c.hest.

“Why?” She demands. “Why should I stop it?”

I bite my lip to stop saying something I would regret.

“I’m sure you’ll love that, wouldn’t you?” She demands. “Another man holding me, telling me how much he loves me. You’ll love it if he puts a ring on my finger and gives me his last name. You’ll love it if he puts his hand—”

I grab her by her face and pull her closer to me. “I said stop it,” I growl.

Her lips part slightly, but she’s glaring at me with those eyes I’ve grown to love so much. Eyes that saw straight through me. Eyes that brightened my entire day. Eyes that have somehow grown to hate me. Eyes that I was ashamed to look directly at.

“If it’s this hard for you by just hearing this, imagine how difficult it would be if it happened for real. Imagine how hard it would be for you if you had to go through the same thing that you’re putting me through right now.”

I knew it would be fucking hard. I never said that it would be easy. I knew I would experience more pain than her if she married another man. But there was nothing I could do about it.

Why was Clarissa not understanding what I was trying to show her? What else did I have to do for her to understand that this thing between us could end her life for good?

“What the hell is going on in here?” A voice demands.

I freeze.

It was Atticus.

I was so lost in Clarissa that I didn’t realize someone had opened the door. I slowly drag my gaze from her face to stare at my brother, who’s standing at the doorway. He’s looking at the both of us, and I can see thoughts racing through his mind.

Clarissa pulls away from me to look at Atticus.

“Damon was giving me a lecture on my bad behavior.” She lies. “Unfortunately for him, I’m not going to listen to a single word he’s saying to me.”

Atticus frowns, “why won’t you listen to him? Don’t tell me you still haven’t learned your lesson, Clarissa. What else must happen before you learn to behave yourself?”

She folds her arms stubbornly, “I’ll behave when I get what I want.”

My head snaps up at her words. I knew what she wanted. As much as it thrilled me to know that it was me, it also pained me to know that I couldn’t give it to her.

Atticus frowns at her words, and now his attention is solely on her.

“And what do you want?” He asks her. I knew Clarissa wasn’t crazy enough to tell him the truth, but I was still on high alert.

Autumn barges into the room just then. “I can ask her that question. She’ll faster tell me than tell you. After all, she loves me the most.”

Clarissa looks relieved to see her.

She pushes both of us out of the room so that she can be alone with her. Autumn was good at distracting Atticus, very good at it. Her actions make me believe that she knows about Clarissa and me. Those two have become inseparable ever since Autumn married Atticus. They were closer than Autumn and Anya ever was in the past. I was happy that Clarissa had her in her life.

“Is there something going on between you and Clarissa that I should know about?” Atticus asks me suddenly.

I tried to act unbothered by his question, but my head was spinning with the possibility of him knowing that I had feelings for her. It was the last question I was ever expecting to hear from him.

I swallow, “what would give you that idea?” I ask nonchalantly.

“I have reason to believe that her reckless behavior recently is somehow linked to you,” he answers me.

“So far, it’s only when you do something drastic that Clarissa acts out this way. And somehow, you’re always the one running after her. Just like today. It’s also inappropriate for you to be alone in her room like you were just now,” he points out.

I press my lips tightly together and turn to face him. “It’s not the first time I’ve been in a room alone with her. Why is it suddenly a problem for you?”

He shrugs, “even though Clarissa was adopted, she’s still my sister. She may not have the Fawn blood, but she has our name. I want to think that you think of her the same way that I do. However, I’ve noticed that you’re more protective over her than you should be. And she’s also a little overprotective over you. I’m beginning to worry. I’m hoping that I’m wrong about this. If not, I know you know the trouble this will cause.”

My hand tightens into a fist, “I can assure you, brother, nothing weird is happening between us. If you’ll excuse me, there is something else that I have to do besides have this conversation with you.”

He nods and watches me as I walk away. I don’t think he believes me.

This wasn’t good. If Atticus had noticed something, he would keep an eye on us from now on.

I had to be more careful than ever now. I had to make sure that Clarissa didn’t do anything drastic again.

“Where have you been?” Anya demands when she sees me again. “It shouldn’t take that long to walk Clarissa to her room. Everyone will get the wrong idea about the two of you if you keep doing things like that.”

I swallow—First Atticus, now her. I couldn’t give her any more reasons to believe that Clarissa was the woman in my heart. She already knew that there was someone other than her that I cared deeply about; I promised myself to keep everyone from finding out who that person was.

“I’m sorry about tonight.” I apologize. “I knew how much you were looking forward to it.”

She sighs and h.ugs me, “it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m happy that we can get married soon and forget all about this day. But this time, I need you to hire someone to monitor Clarissa. She must stay out of danger for us to have a perfect wedding. I’m tired of her reckless behavior.”

I was also aware that I had to keep an eye on Clarissa, but I wasn’t going to hire someone to do the job for me. Anya didn’t need to know that.

I can’t bring myself to wrap my arms around her. I couldn’t bring myself to h.ug her even though I knew that she would soon be my wife.

I don’t know what I was doing. I don’t know if it’s the right thing anymore.

All I care about is keeping Clarissa safe. That’s all that mattered to me—protecting her.