chapter 3

I was feeling sad and depressed when Taara Mam came to our class to give lecture on, "How to hold conversation with others without any delay or hidden motives."She wished all the students and saw me sitting in a corner with my eyes looking down at the floor.I was thinking about the scene at my home when my mother said to me,"Palash, stop acting like a small boy, you have to become mature and should take responsibility for your own life. After all, I tried to do my best but with my health problem, I can't do it anymore, I think you should start working now as we don't have any other earning member in our family if tomorrow something happens to me while having surgery!"My mother, who is strong like a mountain broke down like a river which gushes out in the month of summer when the ice glaciers melt in the Himalayas. I never saw her crying except when my father died in my absence but she always appeared to me in control of her emotions like a Stoic person.I was baffled as I blurted out in shock mixed with irritation,"Ma, why didn't you tell me before? I can't drop out of my college, this is my final year. Otherwise, I will never find any good job if I do not meet the criteria of their recruitment."I was about to leave for my college when I met Sugandha. She is my lucky charm, you can say but I never told her anything about my feelings. Her mother Jamuna Aunty work at our place as a domestic help. Sugandha is eighteen years old and she is studying to become a Lecturer. She is sweet and loving towards me and my mother. Whenever, she is having exams, my mother asks her to study in my room.She said to me,"Can I talk to you for a sec?"She was looking serious and her eyes were red as if she was crying for whole night. For a split second, I felt that she was going to confess her feelings for me but then I saw Jamuna Aunty following her with angry steps.I said to Jamuna Aunty,"Namaste, Aunty ji, how are you?"Aunty said to me and my mother,"Radha Didi, please tell my daughter Sugandha to come with me as her uncles have selected a man for her and they have told me that they will incur all expenses for her wedding, if she will say, "Yes" to him!"My mother was in a fix and she looked at me for some kind of a magic formula to set everything right in her world which was already crumbling down right in front of her. It is so strange that when children are young then they always ask their parents for the right advice but when children grow up then their parents ask them to give their opinion about the crucial matters in life.I said to my mother,"Ma, let me come back from college then we will find out the best solution for all the problems by thinking about them in the proper light and with the right frame of mind!"I was lost in my thoughts, when I heard my name being called out in class."Palash, can you tell your friends how to converse with others in the right manner?"I shared my thoughts in the following manner,"Conversation is like a transaction between two sides. If one side thinks that only they should win in all the transactions and other side should accept defeat all the time then such conversation will fail to yield the long term benefit. We should always try to express our thoughts in a straightforward manner without any hidden thoughts in our mind. If we do not clarify our doubts then our conversation will end up creating distrust in other's mind for our real motives behind holding such conversations in the first place!"Taara Mam said to the whole class,"That's true, well said Palash. Conversation is an art of sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings with others. Some people are adept at hiding their true feelings for others but they often forget about their negative vibes and negative signals which are given by them through minute and subtle signals given by their body language.If we are honest and genuine then our conversation will reflect such attributes effectively!"With this the class got over and I came back to my little world ruled by my mother.I said to Jamuna Aunty,"Let's allow Sugandha to share her thoughts on this before coming to any hasty conclusion."Sugandha looked at me in such a heartfelt manner that I almost felt like giving her a hug as a friend.She said to all of us,"I want to study so that I could achieve my dream of being a Lecturer someday. I don't want to marry some stranger who doesn't care for my feelings and dreams. I want to choose someone who understands me, completely!"I said to Jamuna Aunty,"Please don't take her with you to your village. She can live here with us and can help my mother who needs someone to take care of her after she undergoes surgery for the removal of a benign tumor. She is very strong but she needs loving and caring people in her life, to stay with her and motivate her to bounce back to life after having hysterectomy."Jamuna Aunty said to me,"Who will marry her when they will come to know that she lives with a twenty one year old boy all alone in his house with his sick mother as a full time servant."I took a deep breath, as I said to Aunty,"I will marry her once I get a job after few months. Please don't call her servant, she is very special and talented person with her own principles and dreams!"Jamuna Aunty was shocked but happy. My mother started crying but she was still happy and Sugandha, she looked at me as if she had seen me for the first time in her life through her heart!