Chapter 20

Musics loud, mind even louder. Drunk people are really dumb, the flat is a disgusting mess, and I'm struggling to remember why I liked going to these? Guess sober brain works differently.

The swim team are, enjoying themselves, but no ones drinking. At least not a lot—not with Nationals next week. Even I am keeping my distance. I have purposefully positioned myself across the room far away from the beverages, anything to help me behave, no matter how much I want a drink.

If this were a couple of weeks ago, I would have drunk until I drowned. Tried find comfort in the bottom of a bottle.

But things are different now.

I'm actually not quite sure why I'm here, to be honest. Why come to a party if not to drink? To have fun? But fun without drinking? Or am I here to glare at Oliver across the room all night? To ignore him? Or do I want to confront him? Make him pay? Kiss him?

I slam my plastic cup of water on the table a little too hard that his sprays my hand. Here I am sipping water like an idiot, waiting for one guy. He didn't even want to go to this party, asked me after training the other day if I wanted to go out with him, but this was before I talked with Quinn.

Before I learnt the truth.

Finger twirled in my curl, tugging it playfully. "You swam good today" he grins down at me, right after training the other day.

I tilt my chin up, trying not to show the flutter in my chest. "I know."

He rolls his eyes at my response. "and humble."

We're in the locker room, just us. Damp after our swim session. And he's right, I did swim good. Not enough to beat him, but close. Even had Croissant eating my dust.

"Why don't we go out somewhere Friday? Somewhere different..." he says.

Like a date? is what I want to ask, but don't.

"It's Sophie's flat party tonight."

He nuzzles his nose into my neck playfully. "we don't have to go, we could go back to mine. Do something else instead.."

My stomach flips, a heat and nervousness in my body. But something else as well.. a lava in my lower stomach. "Lets show face at the party, then we can go back to yours?"

He presses a kiss to the space between neck and collar, "whatever you want, darling. You call the shots."

And I liked that. I call the shots.

So what shot am I going to call now?

The party's food is shit, only chicken chips left and no damn dip. Everyone looks to be having a ball of time, while I sulk in the corner of the room. Being sober at a party is a new thing for me, but fuck if I aint proud of how I have resisted it. How well I have avoided the thing that used to be my crutch. But I care more about my body now, about giving it the best chance of performance. I want to make life easier for future me. And so far—that has been working out for me, so I'll see how long I can stick with it. See how long giving a little shit about myself makes shit easier.

When Oliver arrives I'm on the opposite side of the room. It's obvious when he arrives, people going out their was to say hi to him. To talk to him. To keep his attention.

Good.

I don't want to see his handsome face and let my anger and humiliation get distracted. I'm pissed—and rightly so.

Swimming has been my identity for so long (and still is part of it), and finding this truth out really sucks. That I didn't earn my spot like the rest.

My motivation for nationals depleted. What's the point, I must not have a chance if I wasn't even good enough to get into the squad without Olivers influence? That I have to get my boyfrie—woah...

backup.

Where the fuck did that word come from???

There's been no labels thrown out for the last 2 weeks of me and Oliver fooling around. I don't even know what to call it? Makeout buddies? I don't know if he doesn't want a relationship, or if he doesn't want to scare me off.

I distract myself in the conversation I'm supposed to be part of, ignore my minds muckup. It took me a week to figure it out, but my new friends name from in law class, Daniel. Don't know how he knows Sophie or whoever he's connected to to come to this party, but he's here. He's been rambling on about one of our class assignments and how dumb the teacher

was for giving him a C when it was an 'A effort' apparently.

I can't help but snort at that.

"I bring multiple pens to class! 3 pens, just incase one breaks and then another!"

"and that deserves you an A?" I question.

He narrows his gaze, pointing a finger at me, "if you want to keep on using my third pen, you better shut your mouth."

I lift my hands up in surrender biting my lip to surpress my smile. It's true, I fully rely on Daniel to bring pens to class that I never bring any. And he always does. Not that I write much notes, but I've been trying lately.

A few other people come over and start conversation, I'm not really paying attention, just nodding and humming where appropriate, pretending I'm not waiting for the moment Oliver notices me.

And when he does... I know.

My whole body goes electric when his eyes are on me. Hairs standing on needs and a tingly sensation zapping through me.

I can feel him trying to catch my eye. Ignoring whoever is talking to him and keeping his eyes firmly in me. Stubbornly persistent.

I ignore it, pretending not to notice his presence. Oh what a thing to ignore the eyes of the person who has all eyes on them. I wonder if it drives him insane? That someones not giving him the attention he's usually given so freely. Given so often and so diligently.

I bet it drives him insane.

A familiar sandy haired boy draws my eyes. Slumped on the orange couch looking depressed is none other than Andy. A sour look on his face with a beer grasped too tightly in his fist.

Is he.. sulking?

A rare sight to see. Kids always painfully positive.

I follow his line of gaze, my eyes landing on..

Quinn?

She's dancing with the abundle student has have started to form dance party in the middle of the lounge. She's good, her body flows in sink with the music, a sexualness oozing off of her. She looks carefree, like a whole different person from the uptight one I've encountered.

She's dancing off a guy, making him look like a doofus on the dance floor who has no idea who to keep up with her. But it's not her dancing or change in demeanor thats got my brows rising. It's her eyes.

Eyes looking right back across the floor near, if not exactly, on a very down guy on the orange couch.

My head swings between them. Confused. Interested.

The Bitch and Babi. No fucking way.

She's looking at Andy while she's dancing with that guy. And Andy is looking fucking miserable on that couch, poor guy. She grinds on the guy, but her eyes are on Andy's. Her bottom lip trapped under her lip sensually.

This is too much.

I turn away running a hand over my face, fuck. This shit is weird. I need a drink.

But I bump into a hard firm body, my water spilling over the guys white shirt. "—shit, I'm sorr.." I die off, because the guy I spilled his drink over is none other than Oliver.

Suddenly not feeling as sorry anymore. Should I chuck the remains of my water in my cup on him?

But he's wet. Wearing a white shirt. And its see thoroughness is distracting my anger. My humiliation at not earning my spot on the team. Because a soaked shirt looks really good on him, (no shirt looks better though).

Focus Beau.

"Didn't pick you for so clumsy," Oliver teases, no anger or annoyance in his voice, instead his mouth is tugged into a more friendly face. A welcoming warmth to him that I could never replicate.

"Didn't pick you to be blind," I retort pettily, my coldness a total juxtaposition to his warmth.

A flash of surprise crosses his face, maybe at my hostility towards him, he's been melting me recently, so probably off guard at my sudden change in attitude.

"Guess you'll have to help me find a new shirt then, since I'm blind and all, "he grunts, grabs my shirt and hauls me out of the room, down the hallway and into a room. It seems Oliver knows his way around this flat.

He turns to face me, arms crossed, lower half of shirts sticking to his abs. "Alright, let's skip the shit where you are cold and snappy for fucking ever, and get whatever has you pissed at me off your chest."

My eyes snap back to his, caught. "Who says I'm mad? Maybe I'm always like this?" I say defensively.

"Because I know you."

My skin heats and I tug on my shorts collar. Not sure how to respond to that, I shift on my feet wishing I wasn't so sober right now.

I release a breath, eyeing him, watching his reactions carefully. "I know what you did."

"Care to enlighten me on what that is?" he asks patiently.

I decide to give it to him straight. "You're the reason I'm on this team, right? Why I got the scholarship?"

His brows shoot up.

"You influenced coach. Avocaded for me, cause you liked me? Wanted to beat me? I don't know. Quinn said you're the reason I'm on the team."

He scrubs a hand down his face sighing, realisation dawning on him. He looks tired, like maybe he didn't even want to come to this party, but did anyway.

For me?

"Beau," he says carefully. "that's not.. exactly what happened.."

Scoffs, not sure whether to believe him or not.

"So it's wrong? You didn't have anything to do with it?"

He grimaces, "No. I guess, I did, but not the way you think. Quite the opposite actually. If anything.. I dissuaded him from picking you."

Okay, confused now.

"Huh?"

Not sure if this is better or worse?

He looks embarrassed now, a slight flush up his neck. "When I said that I" clears throat, "admired you as a swimmer in high-school, I wasn't kidding. Coach already had my spot secured my spot early, and he asked for my opinion.."

He releases a heavy breath. "I was concerned that if you joined our team, I would be..

"Beaten?"

Clears throat again, rubs back of neck this time too. "..no. Distracted."

I'm stunned to silence.

Runs hand through hair. "Or maybe I was hurt or offended that you so obviously hated me so much." He groans, "it was fucking dumb and I was immature. I never should have said anything. Never should have altered your chances because I was offended you didn't like me."

He gnaws on his bottom lip, letting me have a moment to gather my thoughts, patiently waiting my response.

I scratch the side of my head, things still not added up. "So why did Coach go ahead and give me the scholarship then? Of you.. advised otherwise. Why did he go against it?"

Oliver shrugs like it's obvious. "Because he's not blind. Because you're one of the only ones who beat me high-school. Because he saw me watching all of your races even after I told him that I wouldn't suggest you."

He shakes his head smiling, like he's remembering something, "In fact, I'm pretty sure Coach called me out for my bullshit and told me I'm a shit liar."

I can't help but snort at that. And then I smirk, shaking my head. "Damn Folwer, didn't, realise you were so obsessed with me," I joke.

He rolls his eyes. "I was obsessed with the fact you bet me. And then I was curious how you didn't want shit to do with me. And since I couldn't avoid you, being in squad and all—pushed you. Pushed you harder than the rest."

His eyes dropped down my face. "But I was winning now, so no need to obsess over that, right..? No need to be so hard on the guy who ignores you and doesn't give you his attention, because he's not beating me anymore. He's on my team now. He swims for my squad and trains under me."

He looks away, his adam apple bobbing. "But I guess I liked his eyes on me a little too much. And maybe I started to obsess over his smart mouth a little more than appropriate."

***

Authors Note:

Hope you enjoyed and not much longer of story to go! Sad times but also gives me the time for new stories! Thanks to the people who follow me! Also appreciate all the support, It honestly makes my day when I see your guy nice comments. Still can't believe some of you guys like it as much as you say, y'all lying.

I put out this chapter later than planned because I have weird life timing. I seem to be in places at perfect time for disasters. Don't want to get gruesome details, but required all the first aid knowledge I got, and an inspiration for a medical story.

Anyway, hope everyone is good! (And to the person who said they gonna use all their data to read my next update, I hope it was worth it haha)