Chapter 19

A few weeks have passed, (three to be exact), And things are alright. Maybe even good, but say good and you got something to lose. And having something to lose.. now thats dangerous stuff.

But things are alright. Really alright.

I still go to bed late—but less late. An hour earlier actually. My class participation has been the highest it's been so far, (still not that good though). I'm eating better, thinking more about food that's going to give more energy so I can swim better. Even some green shit in there.

Coincidence.

I'v started bringing lunches to campus, a drink bottle too. I'm ignoring my Fathers messages because I know it will make a pit in my stomach so much bigger and so much more consuming. I taking some vitamin crap that is 'supposed' to make your ion and immunity good.

Coincidence.

So what if I'm being a semi-goodboy? I can be not-toxic and self-sabotaging... Sometimes.

Jokes on him, Oliver and his stupid words didn't affect. Of course not. Pfff. Whatever. I just decided that I should probably get my shit together before nationals. And I decided, that maybe, if I want to be as good as I want to be, I need to start treating myself as something good. As someone who deserves good.

Who knew it would just take so much damn discipline. Like a constant nagging parent in your head. It's exhausted. But my shoulders feel a little lighter and body doesn't feel like a fucking zombie. All these coincidences have been making me feel better. I have never felt so... in control. Like, I have some semblance of control over my life and future, and maybe, just maybe, I can handle this all. Like maybe if I lose at nationals for swimming, (which it is looking that way), it will be alright.

The world won't end.

The sun will keep on rising.

Andy will still be a virgin.

Different but the same. Its going to be just fine. Things will be okay, I've decided. I will be okay. Maybe I'll have a bruised ego and be in a sour mood for a day or two—but I'll survive. I still have good things going for me, and good things that will happen that I can't even see yet.

So I've started trying to take the other parts of my life a bit more seriously, like study. I even talked to someone in class the other day. It was just to ask him for a pen, it wasn't really to even talk to the guy, I just forgot my pen. (Not that I actually took notes, just doodled).

Anyway, the guy took that as an opening to talk my ear off for the rest of class. So now we sit next to each other in class. It's cool. Whatever. He talks too much, and sometimes I regret initiating conversation. Other times we go to the campus coffee shop and study together, or at least say we are going to.

Swimming is swimming, I guess. With nationals looming, coach has been riding our arses. And I've been keeping my head down and doing the work. The morning training aren't as shit, when I actually get more than 4 hours of sleep. Funny that.

And Oliver...

We're fine.

Alright.

Sometimes (most times), I'm the last one to finish dressing in the changing rooms. And Oliver is too.

Coincidence.

And somehow our lips find each other when everyones gone—and his hand in my pants. I'm not complaining. Nope. I give it right back tenfold, and Oliver takes it all with a grin on his lips and a spark in his eyes.

Nationals in is one week. I haven't said I was nervous, or alittle stressed about it, but Oliver suggested we get some extra swim sessions together at night. So we do that sometimes, swim lengths, race each other, kiss against the side of the pool for way too long and not nearly long enough.

He presses me back against the cool tiled wall of the pool, but makes up for it by pushing his warm body into mine. Muscle against muscle, breath against breath. Heart beating against mine.

I try not to think about it too hard, that I'm fooling around with the captain behind closed doors. I just get lost in the moment, lost with my hands in Oliver's impossibly soft hair and lips lost on him.

But fuck, the more I have him—the more I want him.

***

It's Thursday afternoon, and I'm walking across campus from one of my classes I actually went to for the first time instead of watching the re-play. Not going to lie, total waste of my time and I so could have watched that from my comfortable bed at 2x the speed.

It's hot. Hot enough that the pool is crowded with uni students want a swim. And I don't like people, so I'm heading to the cafe down the street with the least amount of people.

But seems I'm not the only one, because at the counter is Quinn, Olivers crazy psychotic ex-girlfriend who once accidentally locked us in a room at a swim meet because she's crazy. But she's intimidatingly gorgeous and a good swimmer.

I try not to groan when she spots me.

"Well, well, if it isn't Olivers play-toy."

I smile back venomously. "Jealous?"

Obviously I know what she is say is bullshit, but it's worth it for the reaction it elicits. She glares, lip curling. Girl had it hard for him. Maybe still does? I hope not though—for her sake.

"Oliver was a shit boyfriend anyway." She scoffs, inspecting her nails. "You can have him. I don't care anymore."

My eyebrows shoot up at her words.

Oliver? a bad boyfriend?

Really?

Oliver seems like perfect boyfriend material. Like—he seems like he would be a really good boyfriend. He's kind, thoughtful, emotionally intelligent, hot, has like a really nice smile, easy going, did I mention hot?

He's basically the full package.

She sees my surprise and huffs, and decides to further expand, "He wasn't affectionate enough, and my love language is touch. And he wasn't around enough, always busy," she shrugs.

Now my brows bunch. Busy, I get. He's got a lot on with his study, captain and other dumb volunteer stuff he does.

But not affectionate enough? Are we talking about the same guy?

The Oliver who kisses my forehead. Who has cuddled in bed with me like a fucking Kuala. Who steals any chance he can at training to graze his skin along mine.

This doesn't sound like the Oliver I know. The overly touchy—gets in your business—invested, guy. I swear the guy has kissed my forehead more than my Mum has. Hugged me more than my Dad has, which isn't hard to beat I guess.

"Huh.." I say distantly, plopping down on a seat.

Qinn follows suit, situating herself opposite me with her large coffee cupped in her hands. Inviting herself to sit with me I guess.

"You going to the party tonight?" she asks, changing conversation suddenly.

I nod cautiously.

This time, for maybe the first time, I'm not even going for the drinks. I just know a certain golden boy is going to be there, and I'd really like to put my lips back on his. Asap.

But I'm, ah, nervous to be in a room alone with him., so party where heaps of people are there is it. I'm still new to this whole guy intimate thing, and not really sure what the fuck I'm doing to be honest. So I've been playing it safe, safe things in places where things can only go so far..

Quinn rats her nails against the table. "Guess I'll see you there then."

Realisation kicks in, and my brows draw. "what the hell are you doing here? You don't even go to school here?"

She shrugs, looking away, cheeks flushing slightly. "Scouting the competition."

"Bullshit."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine. A boy."

Ah, a boy...

"Who's the poor fella? Do I need to give him a warning you're kind of crazy?" I joke, sort of.

She rolls her eyes again, scoffing. "At least I don't sweet talk the coach into getting him to swim for my team."

Huh..

"What, you really think you were good enough to be on scholarship for the best swimming schools squad in the country? Ha. Maybe now you are, but back then you weren't." She shrugs. "You were good, but not—full scholarship—good. So who do you think vouched for you? Who do you think convinced coach to give poor little ol'e Beau a chance."

I shake my head, trying to sort through what she's implying.

She continues, "Oliver. Duh," she deadpans. She shrugs, "guess he chose well, you earned your spot, sort of, but you didn't deserve it to begin with. Guess he just had the hots for you to begin with it." She eyes me up and down. "took him long enough to get you."

It feels like a brick has dropped on my brain, and I don't know how to feel about it.

Oliver's the reason I'm swimming here?

***

Authors Note:

Totally understand if know one is reading this story anymore cause I update so late. Algs, I'd probs do the same. But if you're still here... thats cool. You're cool.

The reason I take so long to write is cause I don't have a plan when I write this, I literally just free style it. I decided to try write stories where I actually plan at the start of this year, and it's a lot more fun and easy, so been hard to write this story when I'm so invested in the other ones. Plus last year of Uni so super busy—and been devoting all my rare spare time to my other stories that I'm writing, not gonna lie. And this story is the one of my first stories I've tried, and I just think my other ones are a lot better. Anyway, this story will be done soon hopefully. And better things to come hopefully.

Take it easy one me, I had a meltdown yesterday cause I be vry stressed. So a reminder from me and Beau, to treat yourself like you deserve good. Be gentle with yourself and remember it's not the end of the world if everything doesn't go to plan.

Have a good day lovelies xx