Chapter 90: Dont Ask! The Answer Is Always the Mighty Imperial Guards (2 / 2)

The maid who came to report quietly said, “Master instructed that the cook in the small kitchen knows how to make gēda soup. She can assist.”

“A cook?”

Seeing that the lady didn’t remember, the maid reminded her, “Master received kindness in the countryside before. That cook is the old wife of his neighbor. She’s the one who struggles to recognize faces. Years ago, she was specially invited to make postpartum soup for you, Madam. She ended up staying on afterward.”

“Oh, her!” The magistrate’s wife suddenly understood and then proceeded to make a large pot of gēda soup together with the cook—primarily to give the cook more work.

Following the cook’s suggestion, she paired it with steamed cornbread and presented it to the Emperor.

Several accompanying officials also got a small bowl each, including the unlucky Bai Ze, who had been dragged along.

The old Emperor ate two big bowls of gēda soup with cornbread, wiped his mouth, and praised, “Yes! This is the taste! This is authentic peasant food. Regular folks wouldn’t think of pairing gēda soup with cornbread.”

The old Emperor was very pleased.

Before coming, he had worried that this might be another attempt at flattery. But now, he realized that the magistrate of Xingyang County lived like this regularly.

He glanced at Bai Ze, who was eating the gēda soup slowly, his face scrunched up, and couldn’t help but laugh, calling out, “Xu Yanmiao.”

[This is why I don’t like eating with the boss…]

The old Emperor pretended not to hear and added in a seemingly amiable tone, “Not used to it, huh? Such coarse food.”

Xu Yanmiao tried to explain, “I’ve had gēda soup before…”

The old Emperor chuckled even more. “You? What you’ve had must’ve been the kind made with refined white flour and paired with a variety of delicious ingredients.”

Thinking about modern gēda soup, Xu Yanmiao nodded.

The old Emperor burst out laughing, rubbing his belly. “Young people like you just can’t endure hardships. You complain about this and that. If you were starving, even roasted leaves would taste good.”

Xu Yanmiao smiled and said, “Your Majesty is right. This humble servant is indeed spoiled.”

[The old Emperor is so hard to please.]

The old Emperor choked on his laughter.

Every time Xu Yanmiao mentally criticized him, it left the Emperor particularly irked.

Perhaps that’s why the Emperor always wanted to mess with Xu Yanmiao whenever he had the chance—just to regain some pride.

[If life can be good, who would willingly endure hardship? Even the magistrate of Xingyang County finds it hard to eat this stuff.]

The old Emperor’s gaze shifted to the magistrate and noticed his veins popping on his forehead as he chewed the gēda soup. The strain in his jaw muscles was unmistakable.

If someone ate food like this regularly, they wouldn’t have such a reaction.

[Strange. If the magistrate finds it unappetizing, why did he once tell the prefect of Zhengzhou that his wife’s gēda soup was excellent… Oh, that was five years ago.]

[Well, that makes sense. Five years of living in luxury—it’s normal to find it unbearable now.]

[He only mentioned it once, but the prefect remembered it so clearly? Could it be because the magistrate joked that eating gēda soup was like “a mountain boar eating fine grain”?]

The old Emperor: “…”

He suddenly felt personally attacked.

His gaze toward the magistrate of Xingyang County turned sour.

[Who are you calling a mountain boar?!]

[“And he even told his wife never to make gēda soup again. He said that after achieving success, no one would want to eat such pig feed…” Fortunately, the old Emperor didn’t know about that.]

The old Emperor’s face tightened, his smile vanishing.

The other officials buried their heads in their bowls, eating the gēda soup as if it were a delicacy, not daring to look up.

Oblivious to the tense atmosphere, the magistrate continued his struggle against the “authentic” gēda soup, clenching his teeth as he ate.@@novelbin@@

[Wait a second? The earlier description…]

[Did the maid tell the lady that the Emperor wanted her gēda soup and asked her to find another woman to help? Why did it later refer to that woman as the cook in parentheses?]

[Let me check…]

Xu Yanmiao’s inner voice suddenly went, [Aha!]

[What a Tang Monk’s fake father situation!]

The old Emperor: “???”

What nonsense is this?

[Wow! The person originally assigned to be the magistrate of Xingyang County died en route, and this guy, who happened to share the same lodging, took his credentials and assumed his position!]

The Crown Prince, who had been quietly eating, perked up at the mention of this juicy tidbit, raising his head with a bright smile, staring intently at the magistrate.

Impersonation! A storyline straight out of a drama, now happening in real life!

How exciting!!!

The accompanying officials, struggling to maintain composure, couldn’t resist sneaking glances at the magistrate. The curiosity was overwhelming. Impersonation! Married two wives! And one of them was now working as the cook for the other!

What kind of story was this?!

Xu Yanmiao suddenly snapped back to reality, startled.

[Why does the old Emperor look so grim, as if water could be wrung from his face? Did he notice the veins on the magistrate’s forehead?]

The old Emperor summoned his ever-resourceful Jinyiwei—the newly appointed commander. The former commander had been reassigned to a censor position in Jibei to gather intelligence.

The Emperor gave a low-key order.

The commander left and returned half an hour later, bringing with him the lady of the magistrate’s house and the cook.

In that half-hour, the magistrate had realized something was wrong. Sitting stiffly, his face grew paler by the minute.

The all-capable Jinyiwei declared, “Your Majesty, it has been confirmed—the magistrate of Xingyang County is an impostor!” (Though, in truth, they’d just pretended to examine the archives to kill time.)

Meanwhile, Xu Yanmiao’s inner voice exclaimed: [Wow! The Jinyiwei really are impressive! It’s said that if they’re around, the Emperor can know even the color of a minister’s underpants!]

The commander: “…”

It’s not that exaggerated. We Jinyiwei are just spies. And His Majesty isn’t so perverse as to care about underpants.

When the magistrate’s wife heard the report, she looked at her husband with disbelief, mixed with trepidation and suspicion. “Say something, my lord!”

The magistrate, his face contorted, didn’t dare utter a word.

Xu Yanmiao glanced sympathetically at one wife, then at the other, equally sympathetic. [He wouldn’t dare speak. The cook is his first wife. Although she has face blindness, she recognizes his voice.]

[I can’t tell if he’s sentimental or heartless. If he were sentimental, why marry another? But if not, why didn’t he just get rid of the first wife instead of bringing her along?]

The commander of the Jinyiwei quickly added, “Madam, you may not be aware that this cook is his first wife, originally his legitimate spouse.”

The cook was horrified. “Sirs! Please don’t joke! My man is just the master’s servant! The master trusts him so much, always sending him on errands. We’ve been here for five years, and we’ve hardly spent a few proper nights together!”

The magistrate quietly covered his face with his sleeve.

[Truly despicable. He pretended to be the magistrate’s servant and told his first wife, ‘I’ve found you a job at the magistrate’s house as a cook. They’ll provide food and lodging, and you’ll earn four taels of silver a year.’ And the wife happily went, thinking she was helping support the family.]

[She even felt proud, thinking she was providing for them.]

“Pfft—”

The Crown Prince choked on his soup, turning away to cough violently.

What on earth kind of mess is this?!

“Mess” initially referred to something rare and beautiful, but thanks to Xu Yanmiao’s frequent use in complaints, everyone who could hear his thoughts could no longer take the word seriously.

The other officials, emboldened by the Jinyiwei’s report, openly stared at the magistrate in shock. Their thoughts echoed the old Emperor’s sentiment: Could this court ever improve? Xu Yanmiao’s inner voice firmly told them: [No. Birds of a feather flock together.]

[Wait, what?! The magistrate’s wife is the original magistrate’s fiancée, whom he never met!]

[After assuming the position, this impostor married her. She didn’t know he was fake. He told her, ‘My neighbor has been good to me. I want to help his wife by hiring her as our cook.’]

[And the wife thought her husband was so kind and sentimental!]

[This maneuver… It’s genius…]

The Jinyiwei cleverly framed Xu Yanmiao’s mental observations as their findings.

Everyone was dumbfounded—even the two wives were shocked.

Author’s Note:

Let’s discuss a few historical cases of impersonating officials:

Qing Dynasty:

Pretending to hold an official position:

Luo Qingyun, after suffering financial losses in foreign trade and being unable to return to his hometown, falsely claimed to be a military officer to borrow money.

Hu Jun incited a donor official to pretend to be a Household Department special envoy, defrauding thousands of silver coins.

Impersonating officials’ relatives:

Cui Shiyu fabricated documents claiming to be a relative of a prince, successfully swindling wealth.

Xu Shengyang pretended to be a servant of the Minister of Personnel to obtain funds fraudulently.

Ming Dynasty:

The Ministry of Personnel reported rampant abuses such as impersonating deceased or disqualified officials, forging credentials, and even selling titles. Measures were taken to curb such fraud.