Chapter 81: There is a girl in the village named Little Tea Girl (1 / 2)

The General closed his eyes in despair.

You’ve already spilled the beans!

And not only did you spill them, but you also revealed the reason why the Minister of Rites was cross-dressing to the Emperor!

Moments later, the Imperial Guard approached: “General, His Majesty has sent me to ask—does His Majesty seem like the type of ruler who would meddle in his subjects’ personal relationships?”

The General: “…”

Well, I can’t exactly say “yes” in front of the Imperial Guard, can I?

Forcing a smile, the General replied, “His Majesty has always been magnanimous. It is we, his lowly subjects, who have overthought.”

As the Imperial Guard departed to deliver his report, the General felt the scrutinizing stares coming from all directions. He silently endured for a moment, then glared back at everyone. What are you looking at?! Never seen sworn brothers before? I’m from Fujian!

—In Fujian, even during the previous dynasty, an imbalanced gender ratio and low marriage rates had led to widespread acceptance of male companionship.

[“What kind of underhanded move is this?!”]

The Minister of Rites’ face paled drastically, and he raised his wooden official’s tablet to shield his face.

The General suddenly stopped glaring at others and averted his gaze as if trying to hide his guilt.

The court officials: Why does this feel like a bad omen?

[“When these two initially swore brotherhood, apart from their mutual affection, they were also dirt poor. Later, they joined the Emperor’s rebel forces, cross-dressing as women to marry each other twice and collect double the wedding gifts!”]

A collective sigh of relief swept through the court.

Oh, it’s just about the wedding gifts?

The Minister of Rites pressed the wooden tablet even closer to his face.

Prime Minister Dou suddenly recalled something: “Wait, General, aren’t you known for…”

A worse premonition loomed over them all.

Laughter burst forth uncontrollably from Xu Yanmiao.

[“Hahaha—”]

[“How could this happen?! Holding in my laughter is making my stomach hurt—I might lose decorum in front of the Emperor!”]

[“How could someone marry seven times for wedding gifts, always to the same person, who just happens to be their sworn brother in disguise?!]

[“Ah, my stomach hurts so much, hahahahaha—”]

[“And it’s all thanks to the Minister of Rites’ impeccable makeup skills, hahaha!”]

The Emperor: “!!?”

His beloved general isn’t cursed with bad luck in marriage?!@@novelbin@@

Prime Minister Dou glanced at the General, his expression dripping with sarcasm: “General, you have truly mastered the art of profiteering.”

The General averted his gaze: “Ah, well, um…”

Seven weddings! Seven whole ceremonies!

The gifts themselves weren’t even the issue! For years, everyone had thought that the “widower general” was too wounded by past losses to discuss marriage! Turns out…

Wait! Seven weddings aside, there were also six funerals! Did this man also…?

The General looked skyward, whistling.

[“Wait! There’s more! He even conspired with the Minister of Rites to dress as a woman and scam the Marquis of Yongchang out of his money!”]

The General: “…”

The Minister of Rites: “…”

The Marquis of Yongchang: “?”

The Marquis of Yongchang: What does this have to do with me now?!

[“But honestly, I’d love to know just how stunning the Minister of Rites looked in his disguise to make the Marquis of Yongchang pursue such a chaste romance! Writing letters every day, meeting only once every ten days to hold hands!”]

[“Terrible rating! Why can’t the system provide visuals?!”]

[“Little Tea Girl—what a sweet and delicate name! The Minister of Rites really knows his craft.”]

The Marquis of Yongchang’s face turned green—greener than the little tea girl’s robes. Meanwhile, the Minister of Rites’ face flushed an angry red, clearly so enraged that Xu Yanmiao had inadvertently cured his low blood pressure.

The General stood motionless with his eyes closed as if he had mastered the art of standing while asleep, completely unbothered by Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts or the Marquis of Yongchang’s increasingly menacing expression.

The Marquis of Yongchang chuckled darkly, clenching his fists. Xu Yanmiao, meanwhile, continued adding fuel to the fire.

As for the accusations of cheating in the imperial exam? Whatever, he thought. It’s not like I’ll survive anyway. Might as well lie down and enjoy the gossip.

[“Tsk tsk, cross-dressing, pretending to find something the Marquis dropped, using it as an excuse to strike up a conversation… wow, in just a few lines, he managed to coax the Marquis into revealing his identity. Truly a master manipulator—befitting of a former imperial scholar!”

]

—Unlike me, a student who got a free pass.

[“Let me see, after the reveal… oof—so clever!”] Xu Yanmiao mimicked in a falsetto voice: [“‘Oh~ You’re the Marquis of Yongchang? Aren’t you the great hero who defended the bridge against enemy forces, killing 33 enemies with a single blade while sustaining 17 wounds, and never letting them cross the line?—Oh, forgive this humble one!’”]

That “Oh~” was delivered with such charm and flourish that several ministers couldn’t help but imagine themselves in the scenario. Their hearts raced, pounding in their chests.

But then they turned to look at the unadorned face of the Minister of Rites, with its chiseled features, sword-like brows, and piercing gaze, and their hearts promptly stopped for a beat.

Never mind. Let the Marquis of Yongchang have this blessing.

The Marquis of Yongchang: “…”

For a moment, he seriously considered just letting Xu Yanmiao die.

[“What a sin! What a sin!”]

[“The Marquis of Yongchang, a widower for seven or eight years, finally finds love, only to meet a penniless little tea girl whose grandfather sells tea to make ends meet!”]

[“Tsk tsk tsk, they’d only known each other a few days, but when he heard about her upcoming birthday, he immediately sent her ten bolts of fine silk. And within fifty days of meeting her, upon learning that her grandfather was gravely ill and she was out selling tea in the freezing cold, he wanted to gift her a hundred ingots of white silver!”]

[“But he didn’t take it! The Minister of Rites didn’t accept the money! Incredible! Such skill!”]

[“Truly deserving of his title as the imperial scholar—his cunning knows no bounds.”]

The Emperor, watching his court’s attention shift entirely to the “Little Tea Girl,” twitched his mouth in frustration.

Can’t you people show some respect to the Crown Grandson? He’s working so hard to fabricate accusations against Xu Yanmiao, dragging down ten officials and concocting fifty-eight charges with vivid detail!

And yet no one’s listening.

The Emperor scolded them briefly in his mind, then…

Hmm… So, Minister of Rites, what exactly did you do? Xu Yanmiao, hurry up and spill. If the Crown Grandson runs out of accusations, I’ll have to intervene to avoid arousing suspicion.

[“Hahahahaha, such a delicate balance of rejection and allure—a strong yet foolishly beautiful idiot!”]