Chapter 45: Alas! Among any three people, there is always someone who can be my teacher! (1 / 2)

[Aphrodisiacs?!]

[What kind of Aphrodisiacs?!]

Not only was Xu Yanmao excited, but the old emperor and the Ministry of War official were also equally thrilled.

A Buddhist temple! Spiked medicine! These two words together—

There’s definitely some jaw-dropping scandal brewing here!

Amid their excitement, they felt something was off.

The old emperor and the official both lowered their heads, their expressions momentarily complicated.

What does this have to do with you?! Why are you so excited?!

Nearby, forty-six-year-old Ji Gong had already closed his eyes in despair. His lips moved slightly—was he muttering something or just trying to breathe?

Could the ones affected by the drug possibly be…

[“Thud—”]@@novelbin@@

The old emperor collapsed.

[“Thud—”]

The Ministry of War official also collapsed.

On this day, in the Yulong Temple, officials accompanying their wives, concubines, or female family members to burn incense and pray for children heard a thunderous voice echoing in their minds—

[“Help!!!”]

[“Protect the Emperor!!!”]

Protect the Emperor?!

Was there an assassin attempting to harm the emperor?!

“Is it ‘protect the emperor’? Did Bai Ze just shout that? Where is His Majesty? He should say where he is!”

“Oh no, what’s happening?! Someone, help!”

[“Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!”]

[“The old emperor! Ji Gong! And even Lian Hang… Back mountain! Why are they in the back mountain?!”]

The back mountain!!!

“Quick, quick, quick!”

“Wait for me, I’m too old to keep up…”

A group of officials, panic-stricken, sprinted toward the back mountain while sending people to call for guards from outside the temple.

Your Majesty! We’re coming! Hang in there!

[“Ahhhhhh—block it out, block it out, block it out—”]

[“System, block this for me! I don’t want to see this kind of thing!!!”]

[“I’m telling you to block it! Can you hear me?! Even if it’s just text, I don’t want to know! Who wants to find out if two old men are lifting their heads or not?! Not even if it’s not old men!”]

The inner voice was like a demonic chant, gut-wrenching and ear-piercing.

Those more desperate than Xu Yanmao to block out the content were the disheveled and miserable officials.

They gradually slowed their steps.

“Heads? What heads?”

[“Ahhhhhhh! No metaphors either! I don’t want to know who’s picking up jade or who’s reaching for cooked shrimp!”]

“Cooked shrimp?”

No way…

Someone blurted out, “…Drugs?” but immediately shut their mouth.

So it wasn’t an assassination attempt—it was just…someone spiked the tea with that kind of pill?

[“No! Stop comparing sizes with your fingers! I’m not interested! Not interested! Hear me?! System, block it now!”]

Several people crouched down, covering their ears.

No! We don’t want to be forced to compare who’s firmer like jade, either!!!

Anyone coming to this temple today is doomed to be blacklisted!

Help!!!

The officials wore expressions of utter despair.

Some grabbed nearby rocks and slammed their heads against them, passing out with blissful smiles.

Others, too scared to be that harsh, resorted to slapping themselves. “Why did you come here today? Why?!”

It’s almost New Year’s! Why did you have to come burn incense and show off your spare change? Couldn’t you just stay at the office?!

Meanwhile, other officials sat paralyzed on the ground. Though horrified, they couldn’t help but think:

“So…”

“When Xu Yanmao screams internally, does it increase the range of his thoughts being broadcasted?”

…

The old emperor and the other two were in even greater despair.

Why are you screaming?!

We don’t want to be forced into these comparisons either!

And why is Xu Yanmao completely unaffected after drinking the same pot of tea?

…Oh, right. He never drinks tea.

The old emperor was drenched in sweat and felt like fainting.

I’m 63 years old! Who in their right mind would give an aphrodisiac to a senior citizen?! What if it kills me?!

Xu Yanmao cautiously approached and nervously asked, “Are you all…okay?”

[“What do we do?!”]

[“This is a Buddhist temple—where am I supposed to find someone to detox them?!”]

[“The old emperor is 63! Is holding on this long safe? Is it uncomfortable? Will he literally suffocate?!”]

[“Lian Hang is still young! What if this damages him?! He just got married and doesn’t even have kids yet!”]

[“And then there’s Ji Gong—he’s 46! He’s been in a loving one-on-one relationship with his wife for years, and now this is how it ends?!”]

Lian Hang, struggling to keep his robe in place, didn’t want to disgrace himself by putting on a public display. When he heard Xu Yanmao’s inner voice, his eyes immediately turned red.

Xu Lang! Don’t mention me at a time like this! Just worry about His Majesty and Ji Gong! I’m just a minor official; I’m not worthy! Also…

There are so many other officials burning incense in the temple right now, sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob…

I’m still young! I don’t want to die of public shame, sob sob sob sob sob sob sob sob…

The old emperor and Ji Gong: ?

Do you think we wanted this?!

Xu Yanmao continued to fret.

[“Why are their faces so red? Crap! Could it be some sort of poison spreading to their lungs?!”]

The old emperor wheezed and barked, “Shut—shut up!!!”

I still have my dignity!

Xu Yanmao immediately covered his mouth.

The old emperor quickly realized his mistake. One person silenced only meant…

[“Where do I find someone to help detox them?!”]

[“And this is the back mountain; there’s no time to move them to the meditation room! Are they going to…do it outdoors?!”]

[“An emperor, a grand academic, and a Ministry of War official engaging in such acts in a sacred Buddhist site—is that even allowed?!”]

[“Should I prepare curtains to shield them? It’d be bad for them to see each other directly!”]

Ji Gong’s face twisted in agony, and he shut his eyes in despair.

He’s taking a leave of absence! He won’t be showing his face again until after the New Year!

This chapter was so so funny. I was laughing histarically by the last sentence.