Chapter 44: Shocked! Such a shameful thing happened in the holy land of Buddhism! (2 / 2)

The person I was looking for earlier—he’s still on the mountain behind the temple, right? He didn’t just leave, did he?

Xu Yanmiao’s cheerful voice echoed, “Huh? Lord Ji, aren’t you eating?”

Ji Sui forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, tugging the corners of his mouth. “I am.”

Eat, eat, eat—always eating! Eat until you drop dead!

Trying to get me to leave the emperor’s side? Dream on!

＊

The vegetarian meal at this temple was truly exquisite.

Xu Yanmiao was wolfing it down with gusto.

“Mmm! This vegetarian noodle soup is amazing!”

“This one! You’ve got to try the lute-shaped tofu! No meat added at all, and it tastes just like the original dish! Absolutely incredible!”

“And this stir-fried three-delicacies dish—it’s so good!”

The monks around them looked at Xu Yanmiao with pure affection.

Seeing someone enjoy their vegetarian dishes so much filled them with joy and satisfaction. This young man ate with such relish that even they were tempted to go for a second helping!

Xu Yanmiao looked up at Ji Sui. “Eh? Lord Ji, why aren’t you eating? Why are you just holding that teacup and not letting it go?”

The emperor almost choked on his laughter, taking a sip of the temple’s tea to cover his amusement.

The Ministry of War official covered his face, pretending he hadn’t noticed anything.

There’s a phrase—“serving tea to bid farewell”—but Xu Yanmiao was clearly oblivious.

Ji Sui took a deep breath. “I’m letting the tea cool down before I drink it.”

“Oh! Is this some new method of tea-drinking? I’ve never heard of that before!”

Ji Sui tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yes.”

[As expected of a bigshot! Even drinking tea is so refined!]

Ji Sui closed his eyes, suppressing his irritation, and downed the lukewarm tea in one gulp.

No. I’m signaling for you to leave!

Now all he could hope for was that the person on the back mountain hadn’t left yet.

＊

At the back mountain of Yulong Temple, a refined gentleman was leisurely sipping tea.

He sat at a delicately crafted table with a small silver box beside him. The box contained fresh green tea leaves that sparkled under the sunlight.

Using tweezers, he picked up a small pinch of tea leaves and placed them into a teapot. As the wind blew, the fragrance of tea leaves wafted through the air.

When the water reached the perfect temperature, he tilted the pot gently, letting the tea flow gracefully into a Yixing clay teacup adorned with floral patterns. His movements were fluid and elegant, like the harmonious rhythm of a guqin performance.

The tea was clear and bright, exuding a subtle aroma. The gentleman took a delicate sip, his lips curving into a slight smile as he savored the flavor.

With his slightly lowered gaze, he radiated tranquility and elegance, resembling a living painting. From afar, he seemed like a figure in a utopian paradise, soothing one’s spirit with serene grace.

And yet, as he sat there, he thought to himself:

“Didn’t Lord Ji say the emperor was arriving soon? I’ve already had three pots of tea. I’m about to burst—I really need to use the restroom!”

Just as he was about to succumb to nature’s call, the emperor finally arrived.

Dressed in coarse, rustic clothing like a common farmer, the gentleman pretended not to recognize the ruler of the land and invited him to join for tea.

Ji Sui frantically signaled with his eyes.

No, no, no! Nobody would just invite a random farmer to tea right off the bat! You’re supposed to chat a little first, show you’re getting along, and then extend the invitation…

Behind the table, the gentleman clenched his legs in desperation, pretending not to notice Ji Sui’s signals as he warmly insisted, “Sir, meeting you here is fate! Please, have a cup of tea!”

The emperor gave him a meaningful look. “Alright.”

Before long, the two of them genuinely hit it off.

It turned out that this gentleman was the author of Admonitions for Women, an expert in advocating for women to adhere to the virtues of obedience and propriety. The emperor, being a staunch traditionalist, found his views perfectly aligned with his own.

[Birds of a feather!]

Xu Yanmiao nodded seriously.

The emperor, Ji Sui, and the Ministry of War official all pretended they hadn’t heard that.

＊

While the conversation on the other side grew lively, Xu Yanmiao, bored out of his mind, began to dig into gossip.

[Oh wow, apparently one of the monks at Yulong Temple accidentally mixed a spiked pot of tea with the vegetarian feast. Now they’re frantically trying to figure out who drank it.]

Xu Yanmiao was delighted. [Spiked? With what? Laxatives? Who’s the unlucky one? Good thing I don’t like tea—I didn’t touch a drop!]

Huh?!

Someone accidentally ingested laxatives?!

Those seven simple words instantly captured the emperor’s full attention. As for the gentleman’s lecture, he was no longer listening at all.

Who was so unlucky to drink laxative-laced tea?!

If this had gone unnoticed, and someone ended up with an embarrassing accident in front of all these dignified visitors…tsk tsk tsk, it would’ve been humiliating enough to force a family to move five hundred miles out of Luoyang County!

For a brief moment, the emperor struggled to hide the schadenfreude threatening to break out on his face.

The gentleman didn’t notice anything amiss, continuing with a dignified smile, “Women are inherently incomplete.”

The emperor didn’t react.

The gentleman: “…”

He raised his voice slightly, “Therefore, women should regard their husbands as their heavens!”

The emperor: “…Ah, yes.”

When you’re not the target of gossip, the joy of eating popcorn always intensifies. The emperor was growing increasingly restless.

Xu Yanmiao, why aren’t you saying anything? Who’s the unlucky one? Tell me already!

The gentleman gritted his teeth, raising his voice another notch: “After their husband’s death, women should regard their sons as their heavens.”

The emperor: “…”

Forcing himself to focus for a moment, the emperor muttered, “Ah, yes, yes.”

The next moment, his body leaned slightly toward Xu Yanmiao’s direction.

His left eye screamed, “Xu Yanmiao, are you done yet? Why so slow?”

His right eye pleaded, “Hurry up and tell us who it is. I can’t wait to see the scene unfold!”

The gentleman finally noticed something was wrong. He glanced at Ji Sui for help, furiously signaling with his eyes.@@novelbin@@

Lord Ji! What’s wrong with the emperor? He was listening so attentively earlier—why is he so distracted now?

Lord Ji?

Lord Ji?! Why are you turning green!

The gentleman was nearly frantic from overexerting his facial muscles trying to convey his distress, but Ji Sui, obsessed with cleanliness and preoccupied with the possibility of witnessing something unsavory, was oblivious. No matter how hard the gentleman tried, his desperate signals were ignored.

—Lord Ji!!!

The gentleman was on the verge of collapse.

What’s happening?!

Why are all of you so distracted? What are you thinking about? Can someone at least explain it to me?! Hanging here in suspense is killing me…I really can’t hold it in any longer!

Meanwhile, Xu Yanmiao was still lost in a sea of gossip.

[Damn it, who the heck drank the spiked tea? Why can’t I find it?!]

Xu Yanmiao was almost tearing his hair out, while the other three, who could hear his thoughts, were equally impatient. They were practically itching to take over and search themselves.

This half-baked suspense was sheer torture.

[Wait, hold on?]

Xu Yanmiao froze.

[No wonder I couldn’t find it—it wasn’t laxatives…]

Xu Yanmiao’s excitement surged to new heights.

[It was aphrodisiacs!]