Chapter 104: Oh! The Reserved Rations Grew Legs! (2 / 2)

Li Shihu, oblivious, continued enthusiastically. “And this one was just caught today—fresh! Just slaughtered! Don’t worry, Your Majesty, the blood’s still over there!”

He pointed to a bloodstained patch of ground in the distance.

The emperor: “…”

His pupils trembled as the hand holding his chopsticks began to shake.

Could it be?!

The Marquis of Yongchang let out a muffled cry and discreetly spat the meat into his sleeve. He quickly downed three cups of water, calming himself just enough to stammer, “You… this… the meat…”

Li Shihu blinked in confusion. “What about the meat?”

He sniffed it, picked up a piece with his chopsticks, and took a bite. After swallowing, he declared, “It’s fine! Tender when cooked, and not tough to chew.”

[Huh? What’s wrong with this mutton?]

Xu Yanmiao, still chewing, looked bewildered.

The emperor and his ministers: “…”

So it was mutton—not…

Oh. Wait. No one ever said it was human meat in the pot. They’d jumped to conclusions.

The old emperor closed his eyes.

Calm down. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Another deep breath.

Good. He was calm now.

Opening his eyes, he signaled to the Marquis of Yongchang.

Quickly ending the topic of lamb and letting Xu Yanmiao continue focusing on the Westward journey was the priority—especially because, what was the deal with “cooking people to eat”?!

Yongchang Marquis caught on quickly, forcing a laugh: “The piece of meat I ate just now was so salty! Did someone forget to mix the salt properly? It nearly killed me!”

“Re—”

Before he could finish, a dark figure suddenly darted out from the side and threw itself onto the emperor’s leg.

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Spare me!”

“What on earth?!” The emperor was startled and instinctively tried to shake the figure off, but no matter how hard he pulled, he couldn’t free his leg. Squinting for a closer look, he asked, “Why is there a barbarian here?!”

This one had yellow hair and green eyes!

Li Shihu quickly stood up, ready to take responsibility.

“This is my failure, Your Majesty, for allowing him to disturb you. I deserve ten thousand deaths!” He then rushed forward to drag the person away.

But the barbarian clung desperately to the emperor’s leg, his grip so tight that even Li Shihu couldn’t pry him off.

In stiff and heavily accented Han Chinese, the man shouted, “Your Majesty! I pledge my loyalty to the Great Zhou! Truly, I am willing! I swear it—I’m the King of Huihe! Please, grant me the chance to swear allegiance!”

Apparently, he still thought this was the Zhou dynasty.

The emperor didn’t bother correcting him and instead turned to Li Shihu.

“What’s going on here?”

A flicker of guilt crossed Li Shihu’s face before he lowered his head in defeat.

“I had intended to present him as a gift for Your Majesty’s longevity celebration. This man disrespected our envoys, scorned the Great Zhou, and acted arrogantly. Not only did he refuse to submit to us, but he also tried to detain us in Huihe. So, I led troops into their capital and captured him.”

The barbarian, however, screamed in panic, clinging to the emperor’s leg even tighter.

“Liar! Demon! You’re a demon!”

Historically, the term “demon” (魔鬼) had roots in Buddhist and Daoist texts, describing malevolent spirits. Central Plains traders had spread this term along the Silk Road, so even this foreigner understood its meaning.

Li Shihu blinked in confusion. “All I did was lock him up today. There’s no need for such an overreaction…”

He prided himself on not mistreating prisoners. Even back when they were lost in the wilderness, if the soldiers had one mouthful of food, they’d share some with the Huihe king. Over the decades in the barbarian tribe, he hadn’t even kept the man tied up—just made sure he couldn’t escape.

It was only because of today’s imperial visit and a bit of selfish planning that he’d locked him up.

Li Shihu had no idea why the Huihe king was so terrified, nor did anyone else.

Xu Yanmiao glanced at both Li Shihu and the Huihe king before quietly returning to his meal of lamb and wheat porridge, eating steadily.

[So, he’s completely forgotten threatening the Huihe king during their time lost in the wilderness.]

The emperor and his ministers were intensely curious.

What kind of threat could scare a king this much?

The emperor looked down at the Huihe king, who was now sobbing uncontrollably and clinging to his leg with snot and tears everywhere.

“…”

Was that really necessary?@@novelbin@@

[But the Huihe king hadn’t forgotten at all—how could he? Who could forget being threatened as “emergency rations” with promises to boil him alive if he tried to escape?]

[Especially when Li Shihu, to drive the point home, would occasionally pat his fat and mutter things like he was weighing pork at the market.]

The emperor: “…”

Oh… that… yeah, that might actually justify this reaction.

The Huihe king, oblivious to Xu Yanmiao’s internal monologue, wailed louder as memories of his miserable captivity flooded back.

“Hic! And when they got lost, I knew the way! I really did! But every time I tried to talk, they yelled at me! If I struggled, I’d get beaten! If I tried to speak again, they’d gag me!”

Feeling everyone’s gaze, Li Shihu rubbed his nose awkwardly, lowering his head.

“I thought he was trying to run.”

The Huihe king sobbed even harder.

“I watched them take the wrong path and couldn’t say a word! My legs were worn out from walking! They mistreated their prisoner! Hic! And they… they said I was a fat, pig-headed king, and that I’d be their emergency rations!”

Waaaaaaahhhhhh—

The Huihe king’s cries were deafening.

Who knew how many years of constant fear he’d endured? He’d even learned farming to avoid being eaten. He fought anyone who tried to stop him from pulling the plow, shedding all his fat in the process.

Now, he hugged the emperor’s leg and rubbed his face against it—nearly making the emperor jump out of his skin.

“I don’t want to be emergency rations! Your Majesty, please accept Huihe as your loyal servant!”

The emperor: “…”

Well, this was awkward.

Your younger brother’s son just ascended to the throne last year… and I’ve already accepted his allegiance.