Chapter 16

A hand waving infront of my face snapped me back to reality. I turned to see Khalifa.

"W..when did you get here?" I asked.

"Three minutes ago, you were just staring at the tv, thought I had to hit you to get your attention or something." He answered, I sighed sitting up.

"Thank you for coming" I whispered. He grunted folding his arms across his chest.

"So what do you want?"

Great. Asshole Khalifa is back.

"I... do you know where Hajiya sent her?" I asked. He let out a humourless laugh before looking back at me.

"Even if I did, why the hell would I tell you?" He sneered.

"Khalifa please you don't understand..."

"No Abba, YOU don't understand. You had ome chance and you screwed everything up" he snapped. I stood up glaring at him.

"Don't you think I don't know I fucked up? Don't you think the guilt isn't eating me up? I can't even go 5 minutes without thinking about her!!! I can't eat, I can't sleep and I can't fucking function because everything reminds me of her. I keep on thinking if she is happy, if she has eaten, if the kids there are nice to her, if she gets to watch tv. She consumes my thoughts Khalifa. I am going mad with worry so please I beg of you if you know where she is, take me to her. Hell, tell me where she is, I'll go there myself. Hajiya doesn't have to know." I begged. He sighed, the fire in his eyes dying.

"I'm sorry but I can't go against Hajiya's wish." He whispered looking away. I nodded feeling the little hope I had leave my body. I suddenly felt extremely tired and sat back down.

"I get it. It's fine. Thank you" I replied staring ahead.

"Abba you know how Haji..." he began.

"I know Khalifa. It's alright. I understand" I assured him forcing a smile as I looked up at him.

"You can go. My regards to Najma" with that I turned to the tv.

I heard him sigh followed by receding footsteps, the front door closing shortly after. I was left alone with my thoughts and they slowly started consuming me once more.

You're such a failure. Poor Yasmin. She's better of without you. She deserves better. All those orphanage horror stories you used to see online? Maybe she's living through them now and it's all your fault.

"You know what? Pack an overnight bag. I can't leave you like this" Khalifa said walking back in.

"You don't have to. I'll be fine." I replied.

"I'm not suggesting it, infact, I'll just do it myself" he said exiting the living room. He came back a few minutes later.

"Let's go" he ordered. I switched off the tv and staggered up. We walked out of the house and locked the door.

We got into his car, the drive to his house was quiet. He unlocked the door and we walked in.

"I'll set the guest room for y..."

"Babe, are you back?" Najma asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah" he replied. I heard her footsteps as she approached us. The smile on her face disappeared the moment she saw me.

"What is he doing here?"

"Najma I know you don't want to see him but..." Khalifa tried explaining but she wasn't having any of it.

"I want him out of my house, I don't ever want to see him. Because of his actions Yasmin is..." her voice broke at the end as she tried to get hold of her emotions.

I should just go

I turned to Khalifa who looked conflicted.

Great, you are about to come between a married couple. You really are on a roll!!!

"I.. I'll just go" I whispered taking my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. My eyes blurred with tears and I felt a golf like ball stuck in my throat.

"Thanks for everything" I said to Khalifa before turning to Najma.

"I'm sorry" with that I left the house, closing the door behind me. I leaned against it feeling the tears roll down my face. I couldn't even control them anymore. I felt broken to my bones. I didn't want to go home, I didn't even know where I wanted to go.

I walked aimlessly till I reached a mosque. I sat at the wudhu area, my mind miles away.

Poor Yasmin. She would have been curled up in her bed at Hajiya's house but now she's somewhere else with poor ventilation. How is she even coping with the heat?

I turned on one of the taps and cupped my hands, taking a gulp of the refreshing water, I took another gulp and another before washing my face. My phone buzzed and I brought it out.

Khalifa Calling

"Hello" I answered.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"A mosque. I'm about to go home" I replied.

"I'm coming to pick you up" he said.

"You don't have to. Stay with Najma, she needs you more than I. Besides I deserve all that's happening to me. I'm such a fuckup." I murmured chuckling.

"Don't say that."

"Why not Khalifa? I messed up. I have been messing up my whole life. Yasmin was meant to be my second chance at life and I fucked it up. God I fucked it up so bad." I muttered.

"Yeah, well, that's how life is. Just hang on." He ordered before cutting the call.

I looked down at the phone, picking at the cracks, hissing softly when a piece of glass split my skin open. I sucked on the spot to stop the bleeding.

The purr of a car alerted me of Khalifa's arrival and I turned to see him and Najma getting out of the car.

They walked towards me together, Najma's face a blank mask while Khalifa's was a kaleidoscope of emotions. I remained seated as they walked closer to me.

"Come on. Let's get you home" he said grabbing my backpack. Najma eyes met mine and she looked away. We all headed to his car and I sat at the back, fiddling with the buckle of my bag.

I was shocked when we arrived at their residence and they got out.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked.

"I... I thought you were taking me home?"

He smiled opening the door for me. "Our home is also your home."

For the first time in days I felt warmth engulf my heart and I blinked back the tears as he led me into the house.

The guest bedroom was ready and I placed my bag on the bed, taking a seat.

"Do you want to eat anything?" He asked. I shook my head

"I'm not hungry." I replied. He raised a brow giving me an look over before nodding. I knew he didn't believe me but he didn't want to push it.

I got ready for bed and laid on the bed staring at the ceiling.

It was dark and foggy, I could hear the beat of a song and the silhouette of people dancing. The smell of cigarettes choking me. I looked around trying to find an exit when I noticed eyes on me. Turning around I saw a little girl in Princess Sofia overalls. Yasmin!!! I tried calling her name but my voice was gone. She turned and walked away, I started to go after her but my legs were stuck, I could feel arms around me, wrapping themselves around my body, pulling me back as I tried to fight to escape their grip. YASMIN!!! I kept yelling in my head but the music got louder and louder and the number of arms kept on increasing till I lost sight of her.

I jolted awake and rushed to the toilet, I cried in pain as I threw up the water I had taken. I wiped my mouth and laid there not having the energy to crawl back to the bedroom. I curled up on the hard cold floor of the bathroom and for the first time in a long while prayed to Allah.

Oh Allah please forgive me. Please forgive me. Let me see Yasmin even if it's for the last time. Just one more time. That is all I am asking for.

I did not sleep that night.

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Oh wow, now I actually feel sorry for him. I've never seen Najma this angry at someone before.

For the first time in history, Abba has turned to God for his problems. Could this finally be his turning point?

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