chapter 168

Evelyn POV

I wake to hands brushing my hair out of my face, looking up I see Thaddeus leaning over me. I

stare back wondering what he is doing, trying to remember when I went to sleep. The last thing I

remember was walking inside with Imogen getting stuff ready for the party. Thaddeus looks at me

sadly and I could tell he had been crying, his eyes all puffy and bloodshot.

I sit up alarmed wondering what happened to upset him. He leans back and I see Ryland and

Orion staring at me, the same look on their faces confusing me before recognising the room I was

in. Tie dyed curtains on the windows, and colourful duvet I knew weren't mine or my style. Amara“s

scent hits me strongly and I realise the room I am in, is hers. I try to remember the last thing I could

remember. Coming up blank when all I remember is walking into the house and going to the fridge.

“What's wrong?” I ask and I realise how dry my throat is, the burning ache of my hunger

coming to the forefront of my mind as I touch my throat. They all look at each and I go to get up off

the bed. Rolling on my side to climb off when I realise the movement was easier than it should have

been as I stand up.

My eyes darting downwards to see my huge bump gone and nothing but a flat stomach. My

hands touch my abdomen to find nothing. I look up confused.

“I had the baby?” I ask confused, why couldn't I remember anything? I looked at Thaddeus but

he had his head in his hands. Ryland steps forward and by the look on his face I knew something

terrible happened. The way he put his hands out like he was trying to subdue a caged animal.

“Where is our son?” I ask, my voice trembling and I step back in panic. Why couldn't I feel him, I

could feel our daughter Amara, like a teether. Feel that she was sleeping somewhere, but asleep

blissfully. Yet I couldn't feel the familiar bond I had with her with my son.

“Evelyn” Orion whispers before looking away and I watch his bottom lip quiver. I look between

them and Thaddeus head snapping up as he looks at me reaching toward me.

“Where is my son?” I ask again not liking the silence I was getting from them, not liking the

devastatingly cold feeling seeping into me from them.

“Evelyn, there has been an accident,” Ryland says, making me look at him. An accident? I have

no memory of there being an accident. I only remember us celebrating our daughter's first birthday.

How happy we all felt yet why are they so sad.

“Okay, but where is our son? Where is Mara?” I ask.

“Mara is with mum and Amara inside,” Orion says, making me look at him.

“I don't understand?” I tell him and Ryland reaches for my hand but I pull my hand back. I

didn't like the way he was looking at me, the way they were all looking at me.

“He is gone, Evie,” Orion says and I feel my stomach drop.

“Who, whose gone?” I ask, my voice shaking my entire body trembling with fear.

“Our son” Thaddeus whispers so low if I were human I would have missed it.

“What? That makes no sense, Thaddeus. Where is he?” I yell becoming frustrated, they needed

to just spit out what they were trying to tell me.

“Evie, he is gone. He died in the explosion” Ryland says, stepping forward reaching for me and I

step back.

“What explosion, if this is a joke you are sick, sick in the fucking head now give him to me, this

isn't funny” I tell them my breathing becoming quicker as I try to breathe through my panic.

“There was an accident, Evelyn, we think the gas line in the house exploded, you were injured

and our son didn't make it” My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach at his words. My entire body

was going cold, so cold I could feel it seeping into my bones as the coldness consumed me.

“No! No,No" I tell them, shaking my head, my hands going to my non-existent belly, like he

never existed, just gone, he was right there, safely tucked inside my womb kicking and moving

around, he couldn't be gone. I just felt him at the party.

“You're wrong he is fine, I could feel him” I tell them and Ryland shakes his head.

“You could feel him love, you need to try to understand what we are telling you,” Ryland says.

“But it doesn't make sense, what you're saying doesn’t make sense” I scream becoming angry,

“You did something, you fucking did something didn’t you?” I yell turning to Thaddeus. His

eyes flicker, something I haven't seen in a year and I step back.

“He is dead Evelyn, I didn’t do anything, there was fucking explosion don’t try and put this on

me" He says jumping to his feet. The lights flicker from my accusation as he becomes angered.

“Where is my fucking son Thaddeus” I scream at him. He grips my face, his hands trembling

with an anger that mirrors mine. “He is fucking dead, gone” He screams in my face, his hands

shaking as he grips me. I watch his fangs protrude and he growls before looking away.

He lets go turning his back on me when it hits me, he has his magic back. The lights surging to

the beat of his emotions running rampant in him.

I couldn't remember a thing yet they expected me to believe my son was gone. “I don't"- I

shake my head trying to process what they said, what has happened but I feel nothing but anger

and I wasn't sure if it was mine or Thaddeus, I could feel my mates yet I couldn't identify anything

through the bond of my own. Wouldn't I feel it if he was dead, instinctively know? So why do I feel

nothing?

“You're in shock Evelyn” Thaddeus says, answering my thoughts making me look at him as he

turns around facing me.

“No, you're wrong I would have felt it, should have felt it" I tell them and I feel something wet

touch my face, I wipe my face only to realise they were tears, my tears.

“He is not dead, how could you say that?” I ask, horrified. Thaddeus growls angrily and I feel

rage bubble up within me. Thaddeus hands grips my face, his teeth gritted and I hear Orion yell at

him.

“Thaddeus what are you doing?” He snaps.

“This is the third time she has woken this way, I am giving it back. She will just have to deal with

it" he says. Third time, I wonder. Trying to figure out what he is talking about. Suddenly images start

flooding my mind, I watch the party start as we greet everyone, watch all my memories of the day

flit through my head. I walk inside I see Ryland come and ask for a tea towel then I watch nothing

but devastation, I watched it like I was watching my life fall apart through someone else's eyes, like a

movie playing on a screen something that felt distant yet, I knew by the fact it was my memories

that everything I was watching was very very real.

I look down at my hands clutching the splintered wood that pierced through me, feel the pain

radiating throughout every inch of my stomach. The image goes black, then to me waking up

afterward hysterically screaming, then again and again. As Thaddeus continuously removed my

memories and I passed out each time. Only to relive this moment over and over again as they tried

to explain to me that my son is dead, each time the same reaction, me losing it and Thaddeus

taking it, every memory leading up to him grabbing my face and my eyes slowly regain focus on my

surroundings, to the black abyss of Thaddeus eyes mirroring the horror on my face, at the

realisation he was gone. I lost our son, our son was dead.

Thaddeus lets go of my face and I stumble back clutching onto the nightstand. My entire world

crashing down around me so fast. I felt the room spin violently and I sit on the bed empty and

completely void of emotion. My heart crushed. I failed him, I failed us all. My son was dead and I

was now dead inside.

“Evelyn?” Ryland says rushing over to me. His face looking up at me as he kneels on the floor in

front of me. He wraps his arms around my waist, his head pressing to where our baby used to be. I

brush his hair with my fingers wanting to feel something, anything but this hollow feeling inside me.

Amara walks into the room, I look up when her scent hits my nose. I could smell the saltiness of

her tears as they streamed down her face. “Sorry mum sent me down, she wants to know if you

want anything?”

“Leave us” Thaddeus says to her and she nods before walking back out.000000