Chapter 205 - 205 "Disappointment"

205 “Disappointment”

Although the emperor’s tone was gentle, but Eleanora could still feel his anger which he was trying to suppress and stood up on his feet to face the crowd once again.

“Blood oath can’t be completed with one persons disapproval. Congratulations and glory to our future moon, for finally being appointed as the official Captain of third squadron from now on!”

“The ceremony ends here!”

Eleanora blankly stared at Cathain, who just rejected her vow without any second thoughts and stomped out of the podium angrily.

‘No, this isn’t what i thought-‘

Without wasting another moment, Eleanora ran after the emperor hurriedly.

Where the imperial knights immediately took charge to silence down the uproarious audience.

“YOUR MAJESTY- LISTEN TO ME!”

Eleanora called Cathain from behind but it seemed like he had no intention of stopping.

.....

“Your Majesty!”

“Ah!”

Eleanora flinched in pain as Cathain suddenly turned around to grab her wrist and pin her against the wall.

His breathing was heavy as his gaze looked dangerous, like he wanted to eat her alive.

The tension between them continued to grow as both of just kept staring at each others eyes, before Cathain finally slammed his thin lips on hers aggressively.

Eleanora’s body jumped up with surprise because of his aggressive kiss as she pushed on his shoulder but the more she restricted the more brutal he became.

Cathain demanded nothing from her, he just wanted to be hers.

Make her comfortable with him and accept him, but he became greatly disappointed because of her actions today.

He could never imagine that she would use the blood oath to break of their engagement.

‘What am i to her?’

‘Does she think i would happily accept her trade like some buisnessman?!’

‘Is my feelings that cheap to her?!’

‘Am going crazy again... I don’t think she will ever come to me willingly, i can only take her by force!’

As Cathain’s thoughts started to ran deeper, he sucked her lips which was pressed together tightly to stop him; as her fist kept hitting on his chest.

But he didn’t cared anymore.

He did everything, he listened to his father and decided to not act like before anymore.

He suppressed his possessiveness till now, but he is still standing at the same point like before.

As her protest started to get more powerful, he put his body weight on her so that she can’t move anymore and hold her both wrists above her head.

He knew that she was out of breath but didn’t cared as he considered this as a punishment.

‘Does she knows how many times i felt suffocated because of her?!’

‘No, she will never know and ignore it even if she knows. She only knows to hold onto the past and push me away,’

Cathain bent down more as he pulled her closer by grabbing her waist and wanted to deepen their kiss more, but Eleanora bite his lower lips till her mouth filled with his blood.

“Heh-”

Cathain sneered as he looked at Eleanora, who had pushed him away by using her mana and panted heavily to gasp for breath.

He wiped away his blood with his thumb finger and chuckled after seeing how angry she looked.

“Feeling angry? Wronged?”

“This is how i feel, whenever you force something on me to accept; which i don’t want to... Like your blood oath,”

Cathain spoke with a sneer as he fixed her messy appearance with a wide smile on his face.

Even if he acted gentle, Eleanora knew that he was only pretending to be gentle while hiding his anger.

“Go back to your papa and hide, if you don’t- then even i don’t know what i will end up doing to make you mine... I have already reached my limit.”

“I don’t wanna be a bad guy to my empress. So, Don’t appear infront of me until i calm down; unless you want to experience something more then what i just did now.”

Cathain spoke gently as he kissed her wet eyelash and cupped her face in his hands.

“Did i made myself clear?”

“...”

Eleanora couldn’t reply as she felt her body becoming numb because of fear filling her heart.

Seeing her afraid of him again, Cathain’s heart clenched with pain but he just decided to ignore the pain and pinched her jaw sharply.

“DID YOU UNDERSTAND MY WORDS, EMPRESS?!”

“Y-Yes!”

“You- i see... I was right. You really like to make me the bad guy and then see me suffer...”

Cathain spoke mockingly as he took a few step back from her and looked at her coldly.

He couldn’t believe that he would stop so low one day to keep someone with him like this.

It pain him to see her pale and scared face, but he also had enough. No matter what he did, their relationship had no improvement.

He felt like they had gone back to the starting once again, when he was aggressive and she feared him like this.

Cathain couldn’t bear to look at her anymore as he turned around to leave, before he started to speak.

“If i can give you the wings to fly, then i can also chop them off from you!”

Eleanora’s blue eyes widened as he uttered the same words from the past life she remembers, where it hurt him like hell to speak those cruel words.

But now he knows only one thing, he can’t live without her and he has to be hers.

Her blood oath proved how determined she became to leave him, and he can’t give her another chance like today to escape.

‘Either you be mine or let me be yours... My empress.’

…

The sky had already turned dark when Eleanora returned at her home with a gloomy pale face.

The usual cheerful mansion was silent today and she found her father sitting on the sofa, who was waiting for her return.

There was no maid in the hallroom as Alexander ordered everyone to leave and waited for her return.

“Papa...”

“Am greatly disappointed at you, Eleanora Dalton.”

Alexander’s cold voice rang in the big hall room as he looked coldly at her and Eleanora’s heart sank.

“Pa-Pa?”

Eleanora was shocked, she couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“What is our duchy’s moto?!”

“N-Never run away from your responsibility, rather die then bow down and admit defeat!”

Eleanora shuttered a little as she spoke, because she has never seen Alexander this cold for years.

“And... You did the exact same thing! This is all my fault- i made you this weak and vulnerable this time.”

Alexander spoke as her behaviour to escape from her fears instead of facing them and breaking off her engagement was like submitting to her fears.

Which was a mentally defeat of hers.

“No! Papa-”

“DID YOU TAKE THAT OATH BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT I CAN’T PROTECT YOU?!”

“OR DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS SUFFERING?!”

Alexander’s hard scoldings made her tears drop from her eyes as she didn’t even recovered from the sudden change of the emperor.

But this time, Alexander felt more angry when he saw her crying again.

“HAH! SEE!!! YOU’RE CRYING AGAIN!!”

“YOU ARE ALWAYS CRYING AND RUNNING AWAY, THEN SOLVING THE PROBLEM!”

“YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SUFFERINGS BUT YOU CAN’T IGNORE THE OTHERS AND KEEP HURTING THEM, ELEANORA!”

.....

“DO YOU THINK WE ALL ARE BETTER? NO! WE ARE NOT!”

“HOW DO YOU THINK THAT I FELT WHEN I FAILED TO PROTECT MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER?!”

“HOW DID THAT MAN, WHO KILLED THE WOMAN HE LOVED WITH HIS OWN HANDS, ALONG WITH HIS CHILD; HAD FELT AFTER GETTING BACK HIS SENSE?!”

“HOW DID THAT GIRL LIVED DESPITE KNOWING HOW INNOCENT PEOPLE’S WERE KILLED BECAUSE OF HER FOOLISHNESS, BECAUSE OF HER OWN FATHER?”

Alexander roared at Eleanora as he approach her and hold her weak body to stand still.

“We all have our own problems and sufferings, that we can’t share, can’t tell... But if we keep holding onto them tightly, those problems will only drag you down more.”

Eleanora sobbed hard as she tried to speak, but she couldn’t stop herself from crying.

“Pa..pa,”

“CRY OUT MORE LOUDER!!”

“JUST FOR HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO BE WEAK LIKE THIS?!”

“ACCEPT YOU FEELINGS AND STOP HIDING IT!!”

“YOU DON’T NEED TO HIDE! WHEN YOUR FEELINGS ARE CLEARLY VISIBLE IN YOUR EYES!”

“THE MORE YOU TRY TO ESCAPE FROM HIM, THE MORE YOU HURT NOT ONLY YOU; BUT ALSO HIM!”

“Stop...Pa-papa..”

“NO- I HAD ENOUGH OF SEEING YOU HAVING NIGHTMARES EVERY NIGHT ANSD CRYING!! I CAN’T SEE YOU LIKE THAT ANYMORE!!”

“DO YOU THINK BREAKING OFF YOUR ENGAGEMENT AND BECOME THE DUCHESS WOULD SOLVE EVERYTHING?!”

“CAN YOU MARRY ANOTHER MAN?!”

“CAN YOU SEE HIM WITH SOMEONE ELSE?!”

Eleanora’s tears instantly stopped as she thought about that, can she really marry someone else?

Can she see him with someone else again?

“You know the answer, Elee... You fall for him again... He made you fall in love with him again.. so stop holding onto the past and hurt yourself!”

Alexander hated to admit this, but he had to do this to see her happy again.

He can’t let her keep holding onto her trauma and sank more deeper.

“From the moment you got your past memories... What you did, everything you did was to escape him. But did you ever realised that you was still thinking about him during those whole time?”

“Did you knew, why you didn’t recognised him as Ain? Because deep inside your heart... You refused to accept it, till you couldn’t ignore it anymore.”

“Your heart wanted to accept the changes, those feelings that you never got from him... But you also hold onto the past so deeply that you couldn’t even control your emotions anymore.”

“You were happy at a moment, and then sad... You cried at night and act like nothing happened the next morning.”

“I can’t see you like that anymore...”

Alexander’s voice lowered as he continued to speak to her, while cupping her small face into his hands.

“He could just leave you behind when you got stabbed by the sword... If he did, he wouldn’t got caught by Mendel and his army. It wasn’t easy for him to stay strong and carry you back all the way with his injuries.”

“A man, who would give up on his pride and arrogance; his empire and beg his enemy just to save you... He can never harm you, Elee..”

“The moment he had kneeled down for you, when he turned his back to face the bullets so that you could be safe... I saw myself in him.”

“How i wished that i could protect your mother like that... I desperately hoped to save her in my every dream about her.”

“When he was taking out the sword from your body, it was like he was the one who got stabbed; not you... He would stand outside of your bedroom door whenever i was not around.”

“Because he felt guilty for not being able to protect you better... His eyes when he looks at you... The affection in them aren’t fake, which you know too.”

The more Alexander spoke, the more guilty Eleanora felt for keep pushing him away like this.

He did so much for her even when she didn’t even treat him well, not to mention her cold behaviour towards him despite everything.

She kept comparing the past him with his current self, so lost in the past that she ignored her presence.

“Our future depends on how we behave in the present, Elee. I don’t want you to regret when it’s all too late... Now tell me one thing. I will support whatever you decided after this.”

Alexander asked as his fingertips wiped away her tears gently and a bitter smile appeared on his face.

“Tell me honestly, Elee... Do you like him?”