Chapter 32

Theodore’s P.O.V

A week.

That’s how long it had been since Maya left, and my life plunged into sheer disaster. Not only was I without question miserable, both my children and my mother were not speaking to me. And it felt like utter hell, when my once dull life had become to vibrant and exuberant, only for it to revert to being worse than it had been before. The worst part of it was I’d began to find solace in alcohol, something I just wasn’t too proud of.

I knew what my next step had to be, but I just couldn’t bring myself to actually doing it. I desperately needed to confront the demons of my past if I had any hope in winning Maya back. I’d let her go temporarily because I just knew I didn’t deserve her…yet. I needed to work for her to be in my life; I needed her to be the final step in finally mending my heart.

It’s quite funny how I’d thought it was beyond repair, but that was a life time ago. Not only had she disturbed my routine, she’d broken down my walls and unwittingly began to make me feel whole. She’d played her part very well, but now it was my turn to make the necessary measures to make sure that I was indeed ready to commit to her. I was still very hesitant and insecure, but I had a reason to set that all aside.

I will have her back in my life even if it’s the last thing I do.

I just have no bloody clue how long that will take. Hopefully it won’t be too long…and I’m forgetting about the part where I basically broke her heart in the process. It was an essentially cruel thing for me to do in order to be kind. She didn’t know it, but I had thrown her life off balance and the guilt was eating me up inside. I wanted her to get her life back on track, and so she could really figure out if I was the kind of man she wanted to be with. If not, I’d spend the rest of my life convincing her if I have to.

But that cheque I gave her wasn’t a good call, was it?

What was I supposed to do, let her walk away empty handed? I know, it defeated the whole purpose of her coming here but…. I really had no excuse as to why I had done that. It was more of a parting gift, and excessive one though, but hopefully she’d put it to good use and be able to live comfortably for a little while.

I really miss her. Her honey-coloured eyes, her infectious smile, her oh so soft lips pressed against mine and the feel of her delicate body in my arms. I couldn’t go a day without thinking about her, and it’s affecting my work too. Normally, I’m the typical workaholic but these days I’d begun to show up to work late and would leave earlier than usual to go to the pub. Women, of course, would throw themselves at me but I just couldn’t bring myself about to engaging with them. They all disgusted me and that was a part of my life that was buried permanently. There’s only one woman whom I’d like to have in between my sheets.

But today was different. I’d had enough of the procrastination which is why instead of donning my usual Armani or Hugo Boss suit, I wore a rather casual outfit. I left the house around seven and instructed my driver to take me a cafe that was once special to me. When he stopped near it, I hopped out with my phone in hand, and carefully strode into the warm little establishment. I sense of nostalgia hit me so hard that I almost choked on the stagnant air.

This used to be our little getaway.

I took a seat at the very same corner booth we’d sit in all the time, talk about our future together and maybe steal a few kisses. I smiled bitterly at the memories that once defined me. My phone beeped, signalling that I’d received a message. An uncomfortable sensation settled in the bottom of my stomach. A few minutes later, the seat opposite me was occupied by the very last person I thought I’d ever want to see again.

“Long time no see, Clifford,” she spoke softly with a gentle smile.

I however, remained poker faced. “It sincerely hasn’t been long enough. And I’ve told you countless times that I detest it when people call me by my middle name,” I ground out through gritted teeth.

Dana sighed, as a waitress came over to us. “Good morning, sir and madam. What can I get for you?” she chirped happily. I wonder why her cheeriness made me scowl, or maybe it was because of the individual who was seated across from me. Probably the latter.

“I’ll have caffe macchiato and a viennoiserie. He will have an espresso breve, with a blueberry muffin,” Dana dictated to her, and she dutifully took down the order. After that, she told us that she’d be back with our dishes in less than ten minutes.

I scoffed. “And what made you think you could order for me?” I asked glacially, my eyes narrowed to mere slits.

She smiled. “I’ve known you for a long time and I also know that used to be what you got whenever we were here. Do you remember all the laughs and good-,”

“Spare me those frivolous details. This is not friendly meet, rather I would have preferred to not have contacted you in the first place. So do me a favour and stop with this nauseating pretence that we’re old friends catching up. You know damn well why I called you to come here so you better start talking,” I growled lowly and she flinched at my aggressive tone.

She began to fiddle with her fingers, looking down at the wooden table. “Let me just start with…I really loved you Theo,” she whispered and I snorted, before reclining in my seat. “And I truly believed you loved me too. When I met you…I swear I knew you’d be my endgame and we were so good together for a while. Then we got married, too quickly though, but I didn’t care at the time and neither did you. I was devoted to you and wanted to help you realise your potential. We were such a great team,” she laughed and wiped some tears from her eyes.

“Are you seriously crying right now?” I questioned in disbelief. She really had some nerve, playing the victim when she was the one who went and ruined all of that.

She looked at me with tears brimming her eyes. “I-It’s not exactly easy talking about this Theo. You have no idea how much I loved you-,”

I banged my fist on the table, capturing the attention of nearly everyone in the café. “Bollocks! Don’t you dare lie to me, Dana. If you loved me so much then why did you bloody cheat on me?” I yelled, forgetting about the fact that we were not alone. To be honest, I didn’t give a rat’s arse about the by standers. This is something I’d be wondering for years now and I needed to know the answers.

“I didn’t know what I was doing, okay? I just wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted again since the moment your business blew up, you literally forgot about me. You were rarely around, you never called. I was now just the housewife who had to cook your meals and take care of your kids,” she sobbed and cupped her flushed face.

I fell back in my seat. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I thought back to those days, over three years ago when my company was starting out. I was busy, yes, but had I really neglected her like that? “I know you seem shocked but that’s the truth. I surrendered my life into the palm of your hands. I even gave up my job just for you, only for you to side step me like I didn’t matter. Do you know how shitty I felt? Like our marriage was one sided? You stopped being that sweet, loving man I met in freshman college.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” I asked her, my throat dry with raw emotion. My head was practically reeling from what she had just told me. “You couldn’t just speak to your husband about how lonely you felt, but instead you chose to run into the arms of one of my clients? Do you know what that shit did to me? You broke my heart Dana,” I admitted in agony. I’d kept my sorrow bottled up for far too long. This is the moment I’d been waiting for so I might as well let her know how I truthfully felt.

The friendly waitress came back with our orders and placed them on the table. I thanked her, but made no move to touch either of the two. My appetite was non-existent. Just how was I supposed to eat when all I wanted to do was run out of this place and vomit?

“Well, you broke my heart first,” she spat resentfully, and wiped her now smudged eyelids. I would have laughed at how ridiculous she looked right now, but that hardly seemed like the right thing to do. “And to make matters worse, you took Aiden and Brianna away from me.”

I glared at her. “You have no right to involve them in this. Unlike you, I never compromised my relationship with them over an affair. You disregarded them and your duty to them as a mother. Don’t you dare act like I’m the villain here when you know damn well you deserve whatever I served to you,” I warned her with my finger pointed in her direction. “I understand that I was a terrible husband, but that was no excuse for you to sleep around behind my back-,”

“I did not sleep around. It was just one time!” she shrieked in frustration, and I pressed my lips into a grim line as my mind flashed back to when I’d caught her in the act with one of my former clients in his office. What an unsavoury incident that had been. I remember that was the only time I’d bawled my eyes out. It had left quite the mark on my soul.

I cleared my throat to wipe it away. “One time was enough to make me feel like less of a man. That messed me up, Dana. What really hurts me that is we could have resolved it easily. Marriage counselling and better communication. But I guess you had long since given up on us, which just goes on to show that you never really loved me. I, on the other hand, worshipped the ground you walked on. Everything I did, was because I wanted you and our children to have an amazing life because I swore to give you the world. If only I had known I was promising it to the wrong person.”

I stood up from my seat and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill from my wallet before placing it on a table. “I guess that’s life. I made a mistake with you Dana. We were never meant to be together. I am, however, grateful to you for giving me the twins. They mean the world to me. This was a good eye opener. Thanks for helping me realise that what we shared was a life lesson. I wish you nothing but the best in life,” I smiled tightly at her and sauntered out of there, and for the first time I felt a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

I cannot believe that I spent so many years pining after someone who was not willing to make our marriage work. And to think that all this time I thought there was something deeply wrong with me, like I didn’t deserve to be loved at all. It was pure madness that I had settled into such an unhealthy way of thinking. Now that I had checked that off the list, I seriously needed some professional help because, although I’d confronted the main stumbling block, the matter was far from over. I’m not to shy to say that I need some therapy to help be get over this traumatic experience. I got the closure, but now I need some fixing.

My road to recovery had just begun.

__________________________

Hi people. Are you all well?

I know that y'all were thinking that was the end of their whirlwind romance but trust me, it is only just the beginning 🤗

Are we happy that Theodore finally faced his demons and got some closure? 😭

Anybody else hate Dana?

Who's excited for when he goes to find Maya again?

That will be happening pretty soon...🤭

Vote, comment and share ⤵️⤵️⤵️

~Deetronite