{Alternate Ending: Let Me Rest Now, I've Been Strong For Too Long}

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel.

This is n o t m y f a u l t. I've been getting messages and requests to do an alternate ending. Here ya go.

TW: Suicide Attempt. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. This is not going to be happy but kinda hopeful in the end.

The beginning is more or less the same but the story becomes different from May's reaction part :D

**********

Where did it all start to go wrong?

Peter sighed and turned in the cold water of the bathtub, barely feeling anything.

Maybe it was when Ned got a new best friend and started neglecting him. Don't be selfish, Parker. Ned deserves better than you, anyway.

Maybe it was when MJ kicked him out of Acadec for always being late. You're a fuck up. You don't deserve the good things.

Maybe it was when Bucky broke up with him. You'll never compare to Steve. You're not good enough. You're not strong enough. He deserves so much more.

Maybe it was when Flash's bullying turned physical and his words turned more scathing. He's right. You're worthless. A useless orphan. Idiot.

Maybe it was when Tony started neglecting him in favor of Harley, his adopted son. He has a real son now. He doesn't need you anymore.

Maybe it was when he started noticing May getting more exhausted and irritated every time he woke up screaming from a nightmare or when he came late from patrol. She would be so much happier without you. Her life would be so easy.

He noticed it. He noticed every small thing. He noticed the Avengers getting irritated with him. He noticed Tony getting annoyed. He noticed Bucky looking at Steve longingly.

But no one noticed anything. No one noticed him wearing long sleeves even in the hottest of weather. No one noticed his smile getting more forced. No one noticed his sleeplessness.

No one cared or needed him anymore.

So Peter emptied the entire bottle of supersoldier strength pills in his hand and swallowed them, closing his eyes and thinking of every happy memory he had. May had a night shift, no one would discover him till the morning.

"Ben?"

"You've been so brave Peter. My brave boy. Come here, Richard and Mary want to meet you."

Peter Parker killed himself on his birthday with a smile on his face, looking more relaxed than he had been in months.

**********

May entered the house, sighing and taking off her coat. She paused and frowned a little. She couldn't hear Peter snoring from his room. Was he late from patrol again?

She needs to have a serious talk with him.

She started going to her room but then noticed the light coming from the bathroom.

"Peter? You there?"

Worry clenched her gut. She walked towards the bathroom door and knocked on it.

"Peter? I'm coming in."

May stopped for two seconds, then opened the door.

"NO."

She dropped to her knees beside the bathtub, not noticing the water soaking her leggings.

"Peter? Baby, this isn't funny," she pulled him out of the bathtub and put her trembling fingers on his pulse point, hoping, praying. Nothing.

She pulled out her phone, thinking of calling the ambulance, but then noticed a reminder on her phone.

Peter's birthday was yesterday.

The phone clattered on the ground. May Parker dissolved into sobs beside her baby, her sweet angel, whom she failed so terribly.

"No no no," May sobbed, scrambling for her phone, "You're not leaving yet, Pete," her trembling fingers punched out Tony's number.

"Tony? Tony!"

**********

"Tony?" Pepper stood up when Tony stumbled into the dining room, so unlike his usual graceful and confident self. Her eyes widened when she noticed tear tracks on his face.

"Bruce," Tony called, ignoring the tears in his eyes to look at the doctor who had immediately given him his full attention on hearing his real name, "Get the Med Bay ready and contact all the best doctors. Peter committed suicide but I am not letting him die. Overdose."

And with those words, his suit formed around him and he blasted off.

.

.

.

"Fuck," Bruce whispered, hand covering his mouth, "FUCK," he rushed to the elevator, ignoring everyone else in favor of preparing the med bay, mind working wildly to save the boy they had all come to love as their own.

**********

"Do you think it will work?"

"Maybe, they're some of the best doctors in the world. But they can't bring you back unless you want to go, Petey. Death likes you, so he's giving you a choice."

"But... what if I don't want to go back, mom?"

"We're always right here, baby. You deserve to live your life, fall in love, make a career for yourself."

"Richard's right, sweetie."

"Do I have time to think about it?"

"You can stay here as long as you want to, love."

**********

Sam actually retched when he saw the nurses frantically rushing Peter into the Emergency Room. He looked so pale, so... dead.

"I can't do this," Sam managed to say before he briskly walked away.

"This is not happening," Natasha breathed, fists clenching, "I am killing that boy once he's out of surgery."

"Nat," Steve softly said, his own baby blue eyes glistening, "There's a huge possibility-"

"He IS getting out of surgery, alive," she growled, glaring up at the supersoldier, "And all of us are begging for his forgiveness."

"Especially me," Harley said softly, guilt heavily coating his words, "I've been taking all of Tony's attention, haven't I?"

"Yes, you have," Clint said shortly, then winced, "Sorry Harls, I-"

"No, it's true," the Southern boy interrupted, "I think I was jealous of how close dad and Peter were. I... need to grovel for his forgiveness."

"All of us do," Bucky said, speaking for the first time, blue eyes empty in the worst sort of way, "All of us."

**********

12 hours 27 minutes 49 seconds.

It took them 12 hours 27 minutes 49 seconds to stabilize Peter somewhat. To get him in a state where they could say that there is a slight chance of their kid surviving.

Harley had broken down halfway through, his guilt eating him up alive.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I don't deserve to cry when Peter is-," he wiped furiously at his eyes.

"It is more of our fault than yours Harls," Tony said softly, "You're still young, you just lost your mother, and although these are not excuses for your behavior, they are slight reasons. Us on the other hand..."

Tony sighed, eyes hidden behind his infamous sunglasses as if to shield people from seeing the mix of guilt, regret, anger at himself, anger at everyone, hurt, and pain swirling together.

"Go to bed Harley," Steve said in a low voice, "We'll call you as soon as he wakes up."

No one mentioned how Steve talked as if Peter was simply taking a nap.

Harley nodded. He knew he was going to be more of a hindrance if he stayed there, breaking down in tears. He wanted to hide in his room and cry his heart out, at least for a while.

"Barnes, Rogers," May said softly, "You are not allowed to go near Peter till he is comfortable."

Both looked ready to protest, beg, plead, something.

"We are not risking Peter feeling hurt because you are blind and ignorant," she snarled.

"Can we at least ask for forgiveness?" Steve asked.

"It depends on him," Clint said, speaking up for the first time, "Ask him when he wakes up."

**********

"I feel so sad seeing them like this."

"They regret, Pete. They had taken you for granted."

"Ben... I don't want to leave you all but..."

"You don't want to leave them in pain?"

"...Yes."

"We promised you we will always be watching over you, if you choose to live, you will only cease to see us. We will still look after you."

"I think I've made my decision."

"And we will respect it."

"Thank you mom, dad, uncle Ben."

**********

"Bruce!" Sam, who had shown up at the 3-hour mark, shot up.

Bruce walked out, looking exhausted, both mentally and emotionally.

"It was bad," he admitted, "Peter had planned this perfectly, swallowing enough pills to make him d-die immediately. It is nothing short of a miracle that he is breathing right now."

"How long will it take for him to wake up?" Wanda asked, eyes red and puffy.

"He's in a comatose state right now," Bruce said, "It all depends on him, we have done the best we can."

Pepper closed her eyes.

'Please, come back to us Peter.'

**********

"Will it -will it hurt?"

"No ,child, I shall make sure that your return to the mortal world is painless."

"Thank you, Mr. Death."

"Do not thank me. Make sure to not take away your precious life again, young one. You are destined for greatness. It would be a pity to see all that potential crushed because of others petty human foolishness."

"...Okay?"

**********

Peter woke up to a room filled to the brim with heavenly-smelling flowers, balloons, Lego sets, and Starkpads.

Almost immediately he regretted returning back. The same empty feeling. The same despair in his heart. The same guilt for inconveniencing everyone around him. At least with his parents and Ben, he couldn't feel these negative emotions.

Just as he was about to press the nurse call button, the doors burst open.

"Peter?" Tony gasped, chest heaving from the sprint he did when FRIDAY informed him that Peter's vitals have changed.

"Mr.- Mr. Stark," Peter said softly, voice scratchy and rough.

Tony wordlessly walked over to pour him a glass of water, helping him drink it.

"How long have I-?"

"4 months, 6 days, and 17 hours," Tony murmured.

Peter looked up at his mentor and nearly died (again).

Tony looked like he was functioning on coffee and spite, under bags darker than ever and looking a lot thinner than what he remembered.

"I just want to ask," Tony whispered. Peter looked at him with teary eyes.

"Was it just us?" he breathed, "Or was it also something else that led you to attempt to-," he gulped, not finishing his sentence.

There were a few seconds of silence.

"I felt like I wasn't enough," Peter said, picking at the skin of his thumb, "You all deserved so much better than what I can give-"

"You always were, always are, and always will be enough," Tony said fiercely, "A million times enough. We are going to make this right, Pete. We are the ones who are undeserving."

Peter burst into tears, hiding his face in his father-figure, his mentor's shoulders. Tony ruffled his hair, blunt fingernails dragging gently against his scalp. Peter sighed, pressing closer.

For a moment, everything felt fine, as if Peter hadn't committed, as if the Avengers hadn't wronged their sweet boy, as if May hadn't made the worst mistake of her life.

But then the doors opened once again, doctors swarming in, panicking and celebrating at the same time.

A little further back stood the Avengers, all looking anxious and afraid.

The moment was over, but both Tony and Peter felt a spark of hope in their chest.

Maybe everything will be alright.

**********

Peter did not get magically better within a week.

He had to gather the courage to face his aunt and the Avengers.

He slowly, gradually got help from therapists and their unwavering support.

There were many days when someone had to be with him at all times.

There were days when he felt like not moving at all.

There were days when he wished he had not returned back to the mortal world.

But slowly, eventually, things got better.

Peter started seeking his aunt by himself.

He began to play with Harley.

He began to get along with the Avengers again.

He could look Bucky and Steve in the eye without flinching.

It took years for him to confidently say that he was completely and utterly sure of his position in the world.

But eventually, all of them got a happy ending.

**********

There ya go you gremlins 😤

Jk ily my Fuzzies <3<3