{Let Me Rest Now, I've Been Strong For Too Long}

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN MARVEL!

Someone told me I wouldn't dare to kill Peter.

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.

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So naturally, I did :)

TW: Suicide. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. This is not going to be happy. Get your tissues.

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Where did it all start to go wrong?

Peter sighed and turned in the cold water of the bathtub, barely feeling anything.

Maybe it was when Ned got a new best friend and started neglecting him. Don't be selfish, Parker. Ned deserves better than you, anyway.

Maybe it was when MJ kicked him out of Acadec for always being late. You're a fuck up. You don't deserve the good things.

Maybe it was when Bucky broke up with him. You'll never compare to Steve. You're not good enough. You're not strong enough. He deserves so much more.

Maybe it was when Flash's bullying turned physical and his words turned more scathing. He's right. You're worthless. A useless orphan. Idiot.

Maybe it was when Tony started neglecting him in favor of Harley, his adopted son. He has a real son now. He doesn't need you anymore.

Maybe it was when he started noticing May getting more exhausted and irritated every time he woke up screaming from a nightmare or when he came late from patrol. She would be so much happier without you. Her life would be so easy.

He noticed it. He noticed every small thing. He noticed the Avengers getting irritated with him. He noticed Tony getting annoyed. He noticed Bucky looking at Steve longingly.

But no one noticed anything. No one noticed him wearing long sleeves even in the hottest of weather. No one noticed his smile getting more forced. No one noticed his sleeplessness.

No one cared or needed him anymore.

So Peter emptied the entire bottle of supersoldier strength pills in his hand and swallowed them, closing his eyes and thinking of every happy memory he had. May had a night shift, no one would discover him till the morning.

"Ben?"

"You've been so brave Peter. My brave boy. Come here, Richard and Mary want to meet you."

Peter Parker killed himself on his birthday with a smile on his face, looking more relaxed than he had been in months.

May Parker:

May entered the house, sighing and taking off her coat. She paused and frowned a little. She couldn't hear Peter snoring from his room. Was he late from patrol again?

She needs to have a serious talk with him.

She started going to her room but then noticed the light coming from the bathroom.

"Peter? You there?"

Worry clenched her gut. She walked towards the bathroom door and knocked on it.

"Peter? I'm coming in."

May stopped for two seconds, then opened the door.

"NO."

She dropped to her knees beside the bathtub, not noticing the water soaking her leggings.

"Peter? Baby, this isn't funny," she pulled him out of the bathtub and put her trembling fingers on his pulse point, hoping, praying. Nothing.

She pulled out her phone, thinking of calling the ambulance, but then noticed a reminder on her phone.

Peter's birthday was yesterday.

The phone clattered on the ground. May Parker dissolved into sobs beside her baby, her sweet angel, whom she failed so terribly.

I'm so sorry.

Midtown High:

"All students, report to the auditorium immediately," Principal Morita's shaky voice came over the speakers.

"What's going on?" Matt asked.

"No idea, man," Ned shrugged.

The students milled to the auditorium and settled around. Principal Morita stepped up to the podium.

"Students, we received grave news yesterday."

The children immediately sobered up.

"Peter Parker...committed suicide yesterday."

Silence. Everyone was trying to process this information. MJ snapped out of her shock first.

"No," MJ whispered, "No no no no NO. You're LYING."

She broke down in tears. Around her, other students started crying too. Everyone knew Peter. The kind boy who helped everyone. The sweet boy who was bullied terribly but still smiled.

Ned had his head in his hands, remembering with startling clarity the expressions on Peter's face every time he canceled plans. He shook Matt's hand off his shoulder, crying silently.

The teachers all bowed their heads, thinking of all the times they ignored Peter being bullied.

Suddenly, Ned gasped. He shot up to his feet.

"Wasn't- Wasn't yesterday Peter's birthday?"

Everyone stopped, horrified, and looked at Principal Morita, who nodded grimly with tears in his eyes.

Ned retched and ran out of the auditorium.

"I'm sorry. I have failed as the principal of this school," Morita rubbed his shaky hand on his face, "Too long I have ignored the bullying happening here. Too long I've accepted bribes from parents. Because of my negligence, I killed a student. A sweet boy who deserved the world."

He looked over the crowd of students, all of them crying or comforting each other. He noticed Flash shaking his head, denying everything.

"If you are being bullied, I request you to come to my office and report the person. We will not be ignoring any reports any longer. I've already failed one student. I'm not failing any of you any longer. Shame on me it took the death of an angel to realize that."

"He was supposed to be strong," Flash whispered, covering his mouth, "He was supposed to be stronger and better."

"Ever thought, Eugene, that he had been strong for too long? That he is human too?" Cindy spat out, wiping furiously at her face.

"He was a coward," Brad snarled, wiping his eyes.

"Suicide isn't cowardly. I'll tell you what's cowardly," Betty jumped to her feet angrily, "Treating someone so bad that they end their lives is cowardly," and she ran out of the room.

"His scars were awards for your harmful words and his death was your trophy," MJ said emotionlessly, meeting each and every bully's eyes, "Congratulations. You won."

Flash pressed his face against his knees, hiding from everything, remembering the tears in Peter's eyes every time he hit him, with his every remark. All around him, students remembered turning a blind eye on Peter being hurt. The teachers remembered ignoring his brown eyes begging for help. They had caused Peter to die.

Forgive us.

The Avengers:

"Tony?" Pepper shot to her feet and caught Tony, who was stumbling out of the elevator.

"What's wrong?" Bruce asked. The entire team was gathered at the table for breakfast, and all of them were staring worriedly at Tony.

"It's Peter," Tony shakily whispered.

"What's wrong with the Spider-Brat?" Sam asked.

"He-He," Tony shook his head and looked helplessly at everyone, "He killed himself."

The barely audible whisper seemed to echo around the room.

"I'm sorry?" Nat said, smiling fakely, "I think I misheard you."

"PETER KILLED HIMSELF. ON HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY THAT NO ONE REMEMBERED," Tony screamed and broke down, hiding his face in Pepper's neck.

.

.

.

Nat got to her feet and walked out of the room. Anyone who knew her well enough could see her clenched fists and tense posture.

Sam closed his eyes and looked away. He started seeing all the signs he had ignored. The red flags were all there. He just didn't want to see them.

Steve pressed his fingers against his eyes. He had failed, as a team leader, as a friend, as a mentor. He had failed the boy. The sweet, beautiful boy who deserved the world but they didn't deserve him.

Wanda stood stock still for a moment, then ran out of the room to a training room, letting her powers explode out of her. She had lost another brother. She sobbed in her hand, collapsing into Vision's embrace.

Bruce closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He shook his head and walked out of the room too.

Clint cried silently. He should have been better, kinder, sweeter to Peter, to the boy as old as Cooper. He would give anything in this world to hear Peter's rambling again.

Bucky was staring at the wall silently.

"Peter, I think... we should break up."

Peter looked at him in shock. Bucky braced himself for the shouting and hitting.

"You like Steve, don't you?" Peter said softly instead, smiling resignedly.

"I- Yes, I'm sorry," Bucky whispered. Peter cupped his face gently and stroked his cheeks.

"He makes you happy," he said, tears filling his eyes but still smiling, "Then I'm happy for you."

He pressed a kiss on his forehead, then turned around and jumped out of the window, his Iron-Spider suit forming around him, leaving Bucky standing behind, feeling as if he made a terrible mistake.

"I love you," Bucky whispered inaudibly. He looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. "I love you, Peter. I'm sorry for failing you. I love you so much, doll. Be happy up there. We didn't deserve you."

He got up and walked out, going to Peter's room and curling up on his bed, letting his first tears fall.

"I failed him," Tony sobbed. Pepper cried silently, trying to be strong for Tony, "I failed my baby. I failed my son. He's never coming back Pep. He talked me out of killing myself. He saw the signs when others couldn't, but I ignored his signs."

Because Peter was the boy that talked others out of suicide but had a hard time doing the same for himself. He truthfully assured everyone how beautiful, lovely, wonderful, and precious they were because he didn't want them to feel the same way he did; the opposite.