Chapter-36

Here's the next! Hope, you like it...❤️

Zoya's POV:

How weird it is that these hospital corridors have witnessed almost everything. They have witnessed the first cry of the infant and, the happiness that it brings along with it. They have heard the cries echo through them as someone breathes his last. They have heard numerous prayers and have seen much more tears than we know. They have seen emotions much more than anyone. I sometimes wonder do they also feel emotions sometimes?

It is more weird to think that they witnessed my and Aditya's relation grow. They saw every aspect of our relationship. They have witnessed me walking timidly through them and into his cabin. They have heard mine and Aditya's giggle as we proceeded somewhere out continuing the session. They have witnessed me trying to hide the tears of longing when he wasn't with me. They have witnessed me walking fearlessly out of my cabin.

Unknowingly they have played a huge role in our lives. Even now, when we rush through them to reach his father's room. I have seen a change in him since the time the call came. I felt him moving back to his shell which hurt me. He has become so much silent that it is almost killing me. I know he needs me beside him and I'm here for him but he needs to understand that he can lean on me and by doing that he is not burdening me.

He asked the doctor about his condition and then sraight away marched to his room. I first thought to give him some privacy with his father but then my conscience told me that he needs me now so I too went into the room following him. There he sat on the small metal stool kept beside the bed holding his father's hand and pressing it to his cheeks. His back was facing me and I am able to imagine the expression on his face. I should give him some time with his father. I proceed to go out of the room. Just when I reach the door knob, his voice stops me.

"Don't le-ave...please..." He says making me turn my head towards him and meet his eyes. They held tears and were red around the corners. His face looked pale. I nod my head and settle on the small couch kept by the wall.

As I sit here, I acknowledge his father's condition. An IV drip was attached to his hand and he looked pale. His face reflected weakness. I must have felt really sad seeing anyone in this condition have I not known about his past deeds. He is still unconscious. I don't know what to wish for him but Aditya looks like he is really scared.

"I don't want to lose him..." Aditya says looking at his father.

"No matter how much he hates me...I love him...I don't want to lose him..." He sniffles.

"Aditya..."

"It may look to you like I'm being irrational but...this is the truth...I love him...and I have since the beginning. When Ma was there, we three used to have so much fun. We used to go out and have ice cream. Just the three of us. He used to take me to park on Sundays and on the way back we used to have snacks. Every week something different. Sundays were my favourite..." He has a distant look in his eyes like the past is repeating in front of his eyes.

"We used to go to theatres and adventure parks...It used to be so much fun...and I felt so much happy at that time that it now feels as if I never experienced that feeling...Though he was strict with me...I knew he loved me... because I saw something in his eyes whenever I used to cry...He looked unhappy and...sad...He was only being strict for my betterment and I understood that which made me love him more...but then Ma left us..." I wanted to go and comfort him but I know that he needs to speak his heart. He needs to let it go, on his own.

"And the love which was there between him and me also did...He became cold and rude... He started having health issues regarding his drinking habit. I was so scared at that time to see him in that state. I wanted to help him but he just pushed me away. I thought my presence was making him like that so I hid myself in my room and never came out...I don't know what happened afterwards... His words kept ringing in my head which made me hate myself... I felt I deserved punishment for the deeds I did... Years passed like this... With me not seeing his face...with me being locked inside my room...captive to my own thoughts... But, still in that darkness I felt a bundle of light by my side, Shadow...He was always there with me...I don't know what would have happened if he wasn't there...maybe, I wouldn't have been sitting here...I would have been long gone..." He takes a long pause. My lips part to say something but before any words made it out of my mouth he spoke again.

"The day Shadow left me...I felt numb...I wasn't feeling anything. I cried for hours holding him. The pain didn't leave me... I couldn't believe the reality... He also left me like everyone else...I felt alone... I didn't feel the need to stay alive anymore. I was just sixteen...I wanted a way out of the feeling of pain and loneliness. I wanted to go and hide myself in my mother's embrace. I wanted to tell someone about my pain and cry but then I realized I didn't have any one... I was alone... And, that day I decided that I don't want to live any more. I made it a point to end my life. It's not like I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to save myself but I didn't find anything worth saving. I tried everything. I wrote my feelings, I tried to do everything to stop these thoughts but at the end of the day it was just me and my thoughts. Living alone may seem fun but it's not when your own thoughts choke you..." He wiped a tear from his cheek, scrunched his nose upwards and spoke again.

"When I was returning back after leaving Shadow in his resting place, I was adamant to end my life. I was prepared for it. But, then I met a girl. She looked a bit younger than me and told me that I was doing great... and praised me for surviving through all that...not knowing even an ounce of my life... She gave me a yellow rose and disappeared after that. I kept looking at the rose the whole day. The thought of ending my life long gone. Her words kept ringing in my head the whole time. And, that's when I realized that this is not what I should be doing...Ma wanted me to be successful in life and not die out of loneliness and sadness... She wanted me to study with my whole heart and bring some purpose to my life. That's what she said to me before leaving. That's what I promised her...that stranger girl came into my life as an angel as if she was sent to me by my mother...and changed my life for good...Since that day, I studied and studied...chose psychology and made a purpose to help anyone I can with all my efforts and all my heart...That girl was you, Zoya..." I don't even remember that incident but it has such a great influence on his life. I was just such a free spirit in my childhood. I don't know how I developed this shy nature while growing up.

"But, do you know? When I turned eighteen he didn't kick me out of the house...He would have done that and he had full rights as I was an adult but he didn't. Whenever I used to pass out while studying, I found a blanket on me... I used to find fruits arranged in a plate on the dining table after returning from college. He allowed me to study whatever I wanted and didn't object my decision. The day I finally got my degree was the day I felt happy after so long. I felt like I fulfilled my promise that I made to Ma... When I came back home, excited to tell him about my accomplishment...I rather found a note that said 'I'm leaving for London and will live there from now on. Don't care about me and don't try to contact me.' I was shocked...I searched the whole house and he wasn't anywhere...I had questions which he never answered..." He turns to his father and says,"I want the answers, Pa...you can't lea-ve without answering me...You need to wake up and yell at me...Are you listening? You need to wake up! You can't leave me just like Ma...I know it was you who put the blanket on me...I know you laid the fruits on the table...it was always you...Why are you acting to be mean to me?! I know you didn't actually mean it... Correct me if I'm wrong! Wake u-" He keeps his cheek on their entwined hands and starts crying. I can't see him anymore like this.

"Aditya..." I get up and put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze it a little. He immediately turns and hugs me. His face against my stomach and his arms around my waist. I run my hand through his hair.

"He will get better soon, Aditya...don't think otherwise...You need to be strong and handle yourself...for me...please..." He nods his head and closes his eyes to stop his tears.

A knock on the door makes him draw his hands away from me. A young man in white coat and a stethoscope around his neck enters the room. Aditya gets up from the small stool and shakes his hand.

"Abhi, how did all this happened?" Aditya asked.

"I'll just have some water...you continue..." I said and went out of the room. Once I was out, I released a deep breath. Tears swell in my eyes and my lower lip feels not in my control as it starts shaking. I put my hand over my mouth to stop any noise which might escape from my mouth. No, I can't do this. I need to be strong for him. He needs me. I cannot breakdown like this. I need to calm myself down.

Water, I should have some water and calm myself.

I cross my arms while sitting here outside the room not feeling it in me to go inside again. I wonder what Aditya has been going through. I hear the door open and turn my head to look at the entrance. Dr.Abhi is leaving the room while Aditya shakes his hand. He moves past me passing me a small smile.

"It's written that only one person can stay at night." I told him.

"I know that..."

"I'm not leaving you here alone."

"Zoya..."

"I'm serious. I'm not leaving you here alone." I look at at his eyes making my point clear. I don't know what he'll feel when he's alone. I don't want to leave him by himself.

"We should go to my apartment then. I will talk to Abhi about him."

"You have an apartment here? In London?" I'm shook.

"Yeah, you know I came here two years ago and had to stay here for that time period. Instead of staying at a hotel I got an apartment on rent. The landlord is my good friend, I told him not to give it to someone else."

"Oh..." He doesn't actually own it. Now I get it.

•••

Aditya unlocks the lock with the key and opens the door. He switched on the light to illuminate the dark room. When the light flicked on, I saw the furniture covered by white sheets and a dust. There was a thick layer of dust on the floor which stuck to my sandles as I walked further in.

"We need to clean this." I said looking around not finding a suitable place to sleep.

"Yeah, feels like we should."

"Where are the cleaning tools?" I ask tying the knot of my dupatta at my waist and making a bun.

"You don't have to do this. I'll do this... you sit...umm..." He looks around not finding a suitable place.

"Tell, where should I sit?" He bites his lip in embarrassment.

"There isn't any place to sit... I'll start with the bed...you start from that corner... we'll finish faster that way..." I say finishing the bun on my head. He hands me new bedsheet and a spare dusting cloth as he starts gathering the dust on the floor with the broom.

I cover my nose with my dupatta not wanting to get some allergy as I dust the headboard. Looks like the landlord is such a great friend of him that he didn't let anyone even enter here. I grab the pillows and take them out of their pillow case wrapping everything in the bedsheet. I dust off the nightstand and forcefully push the big fluffy pillows in the clean pillow case. I open the bedsheet and toss it in the air to cover the whole bed when Aditya grabs it from the other side. I look at him in shock not expecting this move. He indicates with his eyes to toss the bed sheet in the air again so that it unfolds. He tugs it in from his end and I did from mine. Throwing the pillows on the bed I just fell on the bed. Feeling the softness under my back, I close my eyes getting relief.

I open them as I feel something kept by my side. I see Aditya putting a comforter on the bed. I sit up with my legs dangling from the edge of the bed. The floor is clean now making me notice that it's a hardwood floor. I see Aditya setting the other comforter on the couch.

"I'll sleep there..." I said realising what he was doing. I don't think we are comfortable enough to use one bed.

"I'll sleep here..." He said putting one pillow by the hand rest.

"You hungry?" He asks me.

"You?"

"Are you?"

"A bit..."

"I don't think any eating outlet will be open at this time...so I bought the cup noodles...I will boil the water in the electric kettle and then we can have it. The kitchen is not in the state to be used..." He says scratching the back of his neck.

"I will prepare the noodles you lay down and rest for a bit..." I tell him getting up from the bed. He doesn't argue not feeling enough energy. I prepare two cup noodles and serve him too. He must be hungry too. He looks at me not wanting to eat.

"Eat it." I don't want to hear him say he is not hungry. I know he is not feeling hungry but his body does need something. He doesn't say anything maybe I looked like a hitler when I said that. I should try this expression more often.

We have the noodles in silence watching the night sky from the window. He switches off the light and the moonlight peeks through the glass window not making the room fully dark. My Hitler express didn't work for that long as I was now laying on the bed and he on the couch. He won in that. Not fair.

I'm staring at the ceiling and so is he. I'm not able to get any sleep given the situation.

"He got a cardiac arrest..." He starts speaking knowing that I was still awake.

"He immediately fell on the ground and the nurse rush to him. She tried giving him CPR and then called the ambulance immediately. He was still unconscious but his heart beat was recovered in time otherwise he would have died... Sometimes, I think what would have happened if the nurse wasn't there. He would lay there on the ground lifeless while I enjoyed my life. I wouldn't have even known of his death. Being the terrible son that I am I wouldn't have even tried to know about his whereabouts..."

"It's not your fault, Aditya...He only told you to not contact him...Stop blaming yourself...You should give your mind some rest, sleep."

"I know, but I can't seem to..." I get up from the bed and proceed towards him. Sitting down on my knees by his side, I press my fingers on his forehead. He opens his eyes feeling me close.

"Just close your eyes..." I tell him as I continue to massage his head. The creases between his eyebrows slowly start relaxing and his eyes shut close in pleasure. I continue moving my fingers in his hair and around his eyebrows. His light snores fell to my ears indicating that he has drifted to sleep. I bend my head down and press my lips on his forehead resting them there for some time.

"I love you..." I say as I look down at his face one side blanketed with moonlight.

"Please, make all this easy for him..." I mumble as I look up in the sky from the window.

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Hope you liked it...❤️ What do you think about Harsh's behaviour?

Will see y'all soon in the next update...Till then take care💕