(34): Kyle Everything

I couldn't sleep.

I kept tossing and turning, my thoughts refusing to shut the hell up and give me a break. I kept replaying what happened tonight. Kyle laughing so much, Kyle telling me about Riley, Kyle being half-naked, Kyle looking at my lips, Kyle touching my lips and then finally, Kyle retracting.

Kyle everything!

And then it got worse. Do I... have a crush on him? Dare I ask, do I like him? And if I do... since when? How did it happen? Weren't we just friend just yesterday ago? What are these feelings I felt for him tonight? Is tonight the first time that I felt like this or has it happened before and I just chose to ignore it?

Oh god.

I can't possibly like him. I very much don't think I'm his type anyways. And I don't think he's mine either. I've never really liked bad boys or players. So why would I like him?

Plus, what would our friends say? I wouldn't hear the end of it. Maybe they're the one who jinxed it. Also all those people thinking we're boyfriend and girlfriend.

I hope I don't like him. I really do.

This morning (since it was past midnight), after we got out of the dam, he luckily had a blanket in his trunk so he let me borrow it while he gathered my clothes for me and got back into his half-wet ones.

That was very nice of him.

He said he'd drive after promising that he was fully sober and I agreed because I was too tired to anyways. We drove in silence to the apartment, it wasn't really awkward or anything but so much had happened that I think we both just wanted to fully digest it.

We got to the house, entered, he cracked a few jokes which I now forgot because I was too deep in my thoughts. He offered me some hot chocolate to which I refused. He then said that I needed to take a warm shower or else I would be sick.

Again: so fucking nice.

He wished me a good night and also went to go take one in his own room. I think he wanted to say something else but decided against it.

And yeah, that was basically it.

Maybe I should start avoiding him. I mean if I don't like him now, then it's only a matter of time until I really will.

I feel things for him. Scary things.

I can't even deny that part myself. It's weird and I don't know what to do. I didn't even feel this way for Noah.

Am I too far gone?

Ugh! I hate being a girl! Why do we have to overthink every little thing? I'm sure he slept peacefully throughout the whole night, not even giving my name or face one thought.

I think I only get two hours of sleep.

***

"Woah, you look like a zombie" Kyle breathes when I emerge from my bedroom.

I'm once again in my pajamas, but warm and full ones this time because I was freezing when I got to bed. They're black and white with a cute little panda on the fuzzy top.

I scowl "That's what happens when I'm disturbed of my slumber at eleven pm and only return at three am"

"Good times"

Tell me about it.

But I can't believe we're both acting like nothing happened. Maybe it was nothing though. Why dwell on it?

"What time do you have to meet your mom for coffee?" I ask as I grab a granola bar.

"Woah. Thanks for the reminder. I totally forgot about that" He shakes his head.

"Wow" I snort.

"Whatever. I'll text and ask her"

"Okay"

Silence.

We're both just standing in the kitchen. I'm eating my granola bar and he's drinking milk out of the carton while staring at me.

Horrible habit.

I've learned to just let that one go because he doesn't look like he's ever gonna stop.

"So you have a tattoo" I start off awkwardly, seeing as he's making no means to speak first. The staring contest was getting a bit much.

He looks at me weirdly but nods "I do"

"Can I see it?"

"Why? Wanna see me shirtless again?" He jokes, a brow raised.

"No" I mumble lowly.

"I'll show you one day" He tells me.

"What's it about?" I press curiously "I only saw like a bit"

He shrugs "It's a quote"

"Is it about Riley?" I ask softly. I've heard that guys always get sentimental tattoos, or something like that.

"Maybe" He replies.

"Oh"

Silence.

"Thanks for picking me up last night, by the way. I wasn't in my right minds when I called you but I was the rest of the time" He murmurs after a while.

I smile tightly "No problem. Thanks for showing me your deserted forrest"

"It's not mine" He chuckles.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only one who knows about that place" I argue.

"And you"

"And me" I repeat thoughtfully.

Silence.

Since when is it so freaking hard speaking with him? Our conversations always flow lately. What's happening today?! Ugh!

"Why'd you touch my lips?" I blurt unintentionally and immediately cover my mouth after, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

Why would I say that?!

His eyes widen slightly before he clears his throat with a poker face "Uh, why'd you let me?"

What?

Before I can answer, not that I was going to-because I actually have no idea why I let him- the door opens widely and in walks Nathan.

"Morning" He greets.

"Uh, hi" I greet back looking at him "What are you doing here?"

He points to Kyle "He called me"

"Oh" I murmur.

They both just stay silent. Kyle is clenching and unclenching his jaw, and I have no idea why. Did I do something? Say something? Or is it Nathan?

"Okay, I'm sensing some tension here" Nathan observes looking curiously and knowingly between the two of us.

Is it that obvious?

"I'm gonna go take a shower" Kyle announces already walking away.

Deja vu much.

"What happened?" Nathan asks curiously taking a seat on the couch and I follow him.

I shrug acting nonchalant "Nothing"

"Don't lie" He accuses.

I crack almost immediately. I will literally die if I keep my thoughts held in for one more second.

I sigh "Okay, you can't tell him that I told you but something weird happened last night"

"What?" He drags interested.

"I don't know" I breathe exasperated "One minute we were swimming and then the next he touched my lips and now it's all awkward and shit"

"What?" Nathan asks shocked.

"We had a... moment" I try to explain "Ugh! I don't know what it was but it's messing with my brain"

I don't know why I'm telling him this.

I mean just three months ago I didn't even like him. But to be fair, he's the only one of my group of friends that I'd actually want to tell this to. Which is why I am.

I feel like Kat and Nick would get way too excited and make me uncomfortable. And they both clearly have trouble keeping things to themselves so they'd probably ask Kyle about it.

And Winnie is obviously not speaking to me so she's out of the question.

"Woah, Chels, you guys do know I was just kidding when I said you two would end up liking each other" He jokes lightly.

I hit him arm "You jinxed it! And now's not the time for jokes"

"Okay okay" He puts his hands up in surrender "So do you like him?"

"No" I deny immediately.

He looks at me skeptically "Really?"

"I think it's just a crush" I mutter.

"So you don't have any types of feelings for him? You just think he's like, hot, or something?" He asks slowly.

I nod immediately "Yes. That's exactly what it is. No feelings at all"

Lies.

He looks like he doesn't believe me but doesn't say anything "Okay well it's just a silly crush, no need to get all worked up about it"

"You're right" I agree half-heartedly.

He pats my shoulder "Good talk"

"Please don't tell anyone, not even Kathrine, okay?" I ask quietly.

"I don't tell her everything" He rolls his eyes.

"Just making sure"

"Yeah yeah" He chuckles "By the way, we all saw this coming. All of us"

"What?"

"You two feeling things for each other" He smirks "It was inevitable. You guys are literally always together"

Each other? I'm pretty sure it's one-sided.

I roll my eyes "Lame"

He just smirks, moving his eyebrows up and down "Just waiting for you guys to make it official."

"We won't" I wrinkle my nose "Just a crush, remember? You don't date your crush"

"Mm" He hums.

"Hey, if Kyle mentions something about last night to you, will you tell me?" I ask with hopeful eyes.

"No" He deadpans.

"Come on, why not?" I plead.

"I won't tell him what you said to me so why would you want me to tell you? It's a bit unfair, don't you think?"

I sigh annoyed. I hate that he has a point.

"Fine. Does he normally tell you these types of things?"

"Yeah" Nathan says "Although, he's never been like interested in a girl that way, but I guess we speak about things like this. Like for example, I know all the girls he's fucked"

TMI much?

"Okay will you give me a hint at least?" I try, ignoring the last part "About how he feels about it?"

He sighs "I'll see"

"I'll take that as a giant yes" I grin widely.

"Whatever, little player" He deadpans.

I point a stern finger at him "Don't start with your shit, Nathaniel"

"Oh so you're swearing at me now? I guess I'll just have to not give you hint" He replies smugly.

"No, please. Sorry!" I screech exasperated.

He laughs loudly "I like desperate Chelsea"

"Don't get used to it" I grumble, crossing my arms against my chest.

"Do me a favor though" He starts off and I signal for him to go on "Don't break Kyle's heart, okay player? He's fragile"

"Fragile?" I snort.

"I'm serious" He demands.

"Relax, Nathaniel, I'm pretty sure your fragile friend doesn't like me" I murmur.

He just smirks "Don't be too sure. He always speaks about you so I guess that's a good thing, right?"

"He does?" My eyes widen in excitement.

Nathan shrugs "I guess. He'll see something then he'll go 'Chelsea-Anne would like this type of shit'. Weird"

I grin not being able to hide it "Interesting"

Before I can dwell too much on the fact that Kyle does indeed speak about me, he appears dressed in black jeans, a grey-ish wool sweatshirt which hugs his chest and biceps, and black sneakers. His blonde hair is styled a bit back exposing his handsome face.

Woah.

He always looks good, but right now he looks goooood. I don't know if it's because I actually like him now or if he just really looks better than usual.

Mystery.

Anyways I'm guessing his mom is one of those people who appreciates effort in appearance.

"Dude, can we go?" He says to Nathan, avoiding all eye contact with me.

Nathan gets up "Sure. Bye, little player"

"Bye you guys" I murmur waving.

"Bye, Chelsea-Anne" Kyle smiles lightly after finally looking at me, as if to say 'don't worry, we're still good'. I smile too as I wave more enthusiastically.

And then they're gone.

***

Just a filler.

Warning: I'll be fast forwarding a little bit, but everything will be explained so no need to be worried. ❤️

xoxoxoxo ;)