Fresh start

Let's just jump straight into the chapter...BTW thanks everyone for the 124k reads!!!! BUT LET'S GET THOSE VOTES UP!!!!

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After our argument, there was nothing else to say. My little outburst was enough to reconsider our entire lives. This whole event has been a rollercoaster for the both of us and unfortunately because of our urge to hate one another, we lost ourselves in the process. As I went into my room and into the bathroom that night, the image I saw in the mirror isn't an image I ever want to see again.

The girl I saw was filled with hatred. Eyes wide from all rage and resentment. I saw a girl who was filled with a nasty attitude and disrespect. I saw a girl looking for revenge and willing to bring anyone down to achieve it.

I failed to see the free-spirited girl I once knew. The girl with sass but is the most gentle and loving person you could ever come across. I miss the girl who enjoyed waking up in the morning and carried that same excited energy throughout the day. I lost myself in this mess, and I didn't know if I have what it takes to bring that girl back.

Bringing that side of me back means doing something I don't think I have the stomach to do. It means ditching whatever feelings I have towards Dominic and this whole ordeal and finally committing to him; committing to us. It means letting go of all my hate and resentment. Truth be told, I was never a vengeful soul. I never had any hate in my body. The feeling of hate always kept me up at night so I rather stay clear of it all. If I never liked someone, I totally disengage with them. I can't in this case. The man I disliked is the man I am meant to marry.

So what is the point of fighting this all? I've been so consumed with all the hate that I've dragged my family into this as well and look where it got me. I ended up in the place where I've been fighting to leave. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.

Maybe it is time...To give in.

Waking up the next morning seemed to be the hardest task of the day. You wake up to seconds of bliss and peace until the past rushes back into your mind. The decision I made last night hasn't changed the moment I woke up. I'm tired of waking up and not noticing the girl in the mirror. She isn't me. I can fight this fight forever and it won't make me any happier and it won't help my situation. I was so deep in hate that I was willing to do anything to frame Dominic as a cheater. He may have a flirtatious past, and I am sure as hell not forgiving him for that woman at the mall but I needed to make something in my life work. I am not giving up, but I refuse to waste time on a fight with no outcome. If I cooperate to my fullest abilities and things still don't work out then I am free with no guilt. If I don't try...

I'll be lost in the past forever.

In order for this to work...I had to make a new deal. A better deal. One that isn't trapping or forcing us to commit to things we don't want. We need a new revised and upgraded pact. That's the only way things will work.

I found Dominic in his study after breakfast. Not surprisingly, I ate alone in the dining room because Dominic was swamped with work. His office door was wide open when I stopped by and he looked as if a train as ran through his office. Papers were scattered all over his desk and floor. The room reeked of scotch and brandy from the three empty bottles laying on the floor by the lounge couches. There was a blanket thrown across one couch and a few pillows on the floor. I don't think he slept in his room last night.

He must have come here after our fight...and never left.

"Knock Knock. Are you busy?" I called out nervously. I needed this conversation to go well.

Dominic barely moved an inch. He sat still in his chair behind his desk, head in hands. His hair seemed tangled and messy. I took his silence as a cue to come in. I sat on the couch with the blanket sprawled against it.

"Last night...last night was too much. Things were said, that we can't take back. Trust is clearly broken and we both know that us together won't work. Was I genuinely trying to make us work? No, I wasn't. I was so filled with hatred and anger that I got lost in revenge. Did I try to give in to us being at least friends? Yes. I did try towards the end to give you a chance. I honestly thought you were serious about this After everything you've said, I believed you truly wanted me. Even though you lied, I think we need to sit down and talk about how things are going to go for now on."

"I didn't fucking LIE! I never fucking lied! Veronica was cut off the moment I was told about this fucking pact! I cut off EVERY FUCKING FEMALE THE MOMENT I BROUGHT YOU ONTO THE PLANE! What do you think I've been doing while you were sleeping in the infirmary? I had to make sure everyone knew about you and not to fucking play around with my personal life because I never wanted shit like this to happen." Dominic roared. He jumped up quickly from the chair and revealed his true appearance.

He looked like death and not in his usual I-want-to-kill moods. The bags under his eyes were heavy and dark. They matched well with his almost pitch black eyes, his pupils were so dilated I couldn't see a hint of color.  The veins pulsed and bulged throughout his entire body. I hadn't realize he was in the same outfit from last night.

"You can't expect me to believe you! Not after all the secrets. I don't know what truth you're feeding me because I still don't know the full story about anything! You never warned me about Veronica or any other girl for that matter. I was left to defend myself against her rude comments and YOU JUST STOOD THERE! You didn't defend me once! You didn't even pull her away or try to take me out of the situation. You let her disrespect me."

"Cazzo, I never thought it was going to go like that! One minute she's there and the next you two are at each other's throat. I haven't seen Veronica in weeks. I was still trying to process what to say because I never got the chance to tell her about this! She's been MIA for weeks and I never knew she was back in town."

"That doesn't matter Dominic. You sat there and allowed this woman to disrespect me. You made me feel so stupid for believing you."

"Now you know how I feel when I thought you were finally giving me a chance. What a surprise it was to me when I get a call from my guard that he heard you whispering in your room. You truly thought I wasn't going to find out about the phone?"

My heart sank. He knew everything!

"I'm not going to deny it. I've been in contact with my family and we've been trying to find a way out of this but...truth is I'm tired. All of this is draining all the life I had. I've become too obsessed with hate and revenge. Which is why I want to start again."

"Excuse me?"

"Start again. Fresh new agreement on simple terms. We create terms while respecting and following the rules of the original. We both agree to be truthful, open and cooperative. I don't want this feeling of anger inside me anymore. I want to be happy again. I want to be free again. So if this is what it takes to bring back my old self...that is what I'm willing to do."

Dominic took a moment to process everything I said. He seemed confused and shocked. It definitely shocked him to hear me confess to the cell phone and my revenge scheme. There wasn't any point of lying when you've been caught; a lesson Dominic needs to learn. The idea of a new contract brings joy but fear to my soul.

In one hand, if we both agree and get a new contract drawn then we can actually make something happen.

On the other hand, If we disagree or can't stick to the contract then we are back to square one.

Decisions...Decisions.