Sunrise Malice: Chapter 42

Another meeting at the Hayes household. This time though, it’s an evening meal, and the place is much less crowded. There are only the most important uncles and their wives, plus a few of the up-and-coming cousins, scattered around. Niall’s running the show while Ronan takes meetings in his office.

Julien’s agitated. I don’t blame him. Everything going on must be really difficult, especially knowing that he’s going to have to kill his own adopted grandfather. Even though he says he hates Pascal, it’s not easy to turn on a person that gave you a chance and lifted you up like that.

We’re ushered into Ronan’s office not long after arriving. The place is tense and on edge, and I’m guessing everyone knows about what happened at the mansion. As soon as Julien gets settled, Valentina appears in the doorway, smiling and looking gorgeous like always. “Mind if I borrow Brianne?” she asks.

“If she doesn’t mind,” Julien says, deferring to me, which I appreciate.

I want to stick around and hear what these two have to say, but I decide I can’t pass up the chance to have a chat with Valentina.

She’s the only person in the world that understands what I’m going through. Or at least, she went through something like it.

“I don’t mind at all,” I say and follow Valentina through the house.

“I thought we might go for a walk,” she says.

We step down into a crisp fall evening. The sidewalk is mostly cleared, though dry, crunchy leaves blow across the street and crackle under our feet. Valentina walks at a slow pace, her hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket, and her hair blows around her face as she looks out across the houses.

“I thought you might want a break from all that,” she says, glancing at me. “I mean, they’re not going to say anything you haven’t heard already.”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty invested at this point. You know, since whatever happens will totally change my life.”

She laughs lightly and shakes her head. “Ah, come on. That’s dramatic.”

“Isn’t it though?”

“Here’s the thing about guys like Julien. Even if this whole situation blows up, he’ll find a way to come back out on top one day. That’s just the sort of person he is.”

“I’m glad you have such unwavering faith.”

She waves a hand, shaking her head. “Not at all, it’s just that, these boys have been feuding with each other for way too long. I’m looking forward to it all being over.”

We walk in silence for a little while. I’m thinking about all the different ways this could go wrong and what the worst-case scenarios might be. If Julien has to go back to France and start over, would I go with him? Would I stay here and start all over again?

I can’t imagine waking up without him anymore, but this is my home.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask, still trying to get my thoughts in order. “How did you know when things were right between you and Ronan?”

Her eyebrows raise. “That’s an interesting question. What makes you ask?”

“I don’t know. Just curious, I guess.” I feel a little awkward and embarrassed. Not that long ago, this woman was married to the boss of my family. I never exactly looked up to her, but I respected her at least.

Now we’re peers in a strange way.

“This is going to sound extremely corny, so please don’t judge me.”

“I think I’m way beyond judging anyone right about now.”

“I knew it was real when I realized we fixed each other.”

I slow and study her. For a second, I think she’s messing with me, but no, her face is utterly sincere. “That’s not corny. It’s just not what I expected.”

“What did you expect then?”

“I don’t know. You figured out your lives were compatible or something like that.”

“No, that sort of stuff is easy. That’s just logistics.” Valentina shoves her hands deeper in her jacket pockets. “Ronan brings out the best in me. He believed in me when nobody else did. And I think I challenge him in ways he really needs. We make each other better, and when I realized we fixed each other’s flaws instead of amplifying them, I knew what we had was real.”

Fixed each other’s flaws. I think about that as we continue our walk around the block. Julien definitely makes me feel like a stronger, more in control person than I ever have been before. Being with him is like a masterclass in confidence.

But do I fix him? Do I make him better? I don’t even know how I could possibly answer those questions.

“I’m guessing your relationship with Julien is changing,” Valentina says after a little while. She looks at me sideways and seems like she’s trying not to smile. “Maybe it’s changing for the better?”

“I don’t know. It feels that way, but everything’s just so—” I make a vague up in the air gesture.

“If you want my advice, I’d tell you to go for it. Whatever you’re feeling for Julien, let yourself feel. Don’t hold back just because you’re nervous.”

“We’re not exactly in a good place to start exploring our relationship.”

“It’s never a good place, honestly, not with men like this. If you like being with him, then be with him. Quiet all those nagging doubts.”

“That’s not really easy for me.”

Valentina nods slowly. “I heard about your father. I’m sorry, Brianne. I really am. I didn’t know he was such a bastard.”

“I didn’t tell anyone,” I admit, and saying it out loud makes me feel like such an idiot. Why didn’t I ask for help sooner? Why didn’t I go to Ronan and let him know what was going on? Instead, I took the abuse, almost like I thought I deserved it.

Now, with distance and time, I can see that it was never about me.

It was always about my father.

“You’ve survived a lot already,” Valentina says. “It’s not easy growing up in a family like this. Trust me, I know.” Her laugh is bitter and sad. I know the stories about her: once upon a time, she had a rich and powerful father. She was a mafia princess, given everything, pampered and spoiled. But then her father was killed by the Biancos, and her whole life was ripped to shreds.

“I’m just worried that I’m a distraction, you know? That Julien needs to focus on finishing the war with Dusan and getting his grandfather. And instead, he’s worrying about me.”

Valentina stops walking. She faces me and suddenly grabs my hands. Her expression is fierce as she stares into my face, and I’m taken aback.

“You’re not a distraction, Brianne. You’re good and strong and worthy, right? Just look at him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Julien so happy before.”

A lump forms in my throat. “Really?”

“Absolutely.” She squeezes my hands and lets me go. “Come on. Let’s head back to the house. I suspect the boys are going to need some help.”

I clear my throat and wipe my face. I don’t know why she’s being so nice to me, but I’m beginning to feel like I have some confidence in myself for the first time in my life. Maybe she’s right—maybe I really can fix Julien’s flaws in the same way he fixes mine.

Maybe I really am worthwhile.

Back at the house, we find Ronan and Julien drinking whiskey in the office. Valentina closes the door as I take the chair next to Julien. He reaches out and touches my knee gently like he couldn’t wait to touch me again. Like that ten-minute break was too long.

“We came to a decision,” Julien says, looking at me carefully. “But I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because your husband is going to risk his life again,” Ronan says, looking grim. “And there’s nothing I can say that’ll convince him otherwise.”

“What about me? Think I can make you change your mind?”

“No, baby, because I’m doing this for you.” He finishes his whiskey and stands up. “It’s time we took care of Pascal and ended this mess.”