Chapter 88

Showing up

Rowan I sit or the bench nervously as I wait for Ava. I know she’s going to be pissed, but I can’t help this intense need to be around her. This intense need to be there for her.

She’d refused to tell me the date for her next appointment, so I went ahead and got it myself. I know that makes me a fucking bastard because Lkeep pushing, but I am used to getting my way. And right now, what I want is to be by her side.

If I had my way, I would have gone and picked her up. Instead I decided to come here instead seeing as I’ve already gone against her wishes.

It’s been so long since I’ve been this nervous. The first and last time I was this nervous was when I had sex for the first time. I was thirteen and didn’t know exactly what the fuck I was doing. It had been terrible given I had blown my load within seconds, leaving the girl I was fucking unsatisfied.

Pushing those thoughts away, I focus on the door. I was a bit early. I knew I had to wait a while before she arrives.

“Rowan? What are you doing here?” her voice pulls me from my thoughts.

I don’t know how long I’d been seated in that bench waiting for her. I’d been so focused that I had missed her arrival.

I turn to face her and my breathe catches. She was so fucking beautiful. She didn’t even have to try. How the hell had I never noticed this before? How the fuck did I think that she couldn’t hold a candle to Emma?

Some might say it’s the pregnancy glow, but I fucking disagree. Emma did her make up every day.

She wouldn’t leave the house until she looked perfect.

Ava on the other hand didn’t have to try. I’ve seen her without make these past few weeks. With dark circles under her eyes. Yet she never looked more perfect to me.

I clear my throat before answering. “I told you I’d be there for your every appointment”

I see a cloud pass over her face. She was pissed. Really fucking pissed. She was going to blow up on me, but it honestly didn’t even bother me.

My eyes freely and casually run down her figure. She was wearing a figure hugging dress that not After roaming her body, my eyes go back to her captivating brown ones. She opens her mouth and I know she’s about spew shit Telling me to leave. Before she can do that, I stand up, wrap my hand around her face, bring her body next to mine and kiss her forehead.

She freezes Her body locking as she’s stunned by my actions.

My lips linger on her skin for a little while. I know I should let her go, but this just felt so fucking right. It’s like she was always meant to be in my arms and she would have been if I hadn’t been so fucking foolish and stubborn.

I gently let her go. Her eyes were wide and her mouth dropped in shock.

“What the fuck Rowan?” she asks angrily when she recovers. “Why the hell did you do that?”

“Because I wanted to. So I did” I say with a shrug.

Before she can say anything else, her name is called. She gives me a scathing glare before she stomps away. I follow her with a small smile. My eyes trained on the swing of her hips.

Getting to the doctor’s office, we find everything already set up.

“Good to see you, Ava” doctor Raven say with a smile before turning to me. “And you too Mr. Woods”

“You too Raven” Ava replies while I just nod my head.

I was surprised to find out that Doctor Raven is the same doctor Ava went to when she was pregnant with Noah. That she’s the same doctor that delivered Noah and now she was going to do the same for this baby.

“You know the drill dear, just go over there and change, then come back and we can see how our little bean is doing”

Taking the dressing gown from her, Ava goes into the changing room. Minutes later she emerges and then lays down on the bed.

“Today we are going to do a transvaginal scan before doing the normal scan.” Doctor Raven says.

“Is there something I should be concerned about?”

“No, it something I do for all my patients. It’s just to make sure the cervix is healthy.” She smiles at Ava. “Now, I’m going to insert this into your vagina, let me know if it gets uncomfortable for you, okay?”

she’s forgotten. I’ve seen her naked before She pulls her legs up and Doctor Raven goes to work. Once she’s done, she does the normal scan before switching off the machines.

“Everything is good. You’re doing well and so is your baby. I’m glad this pregnancy is easy unlike with Noah’s case” Doctor Raven says as Ava sits up “What do you mean as with Noah’s case? Did she have a difficult pregnancy?” fuck, what the hell did I miss while I was busy drowning myself in alcohol because I had lost Emma.

Raven opens her mouth, but Ava cuts her off before she can say anything.

“Nothing” Ava’s rushes to say, but I know she’s lying because of the way her voice gets high-

pitched at the end She then jumps down and literally runs to the changing room.

Doctor Raven, gives me a sad smile before leaving the room. After a couple of minutes, Ava comes back fully dressed. She doesn’t say a thing as she takes her belongings and leaves. I follow behind her like a lost puppy.

We get to reception area. She gets the date for her next appointment and gets the pictures of her baby.

My phone rings and I take it absent mindedly.

“What?”

I knew who the second picture belonged to. Ethan. I hate that she’s in contact with him, but I also applaud her for her maturity. If it had been me in her situation, I would have kept the baby away from Ethan 5 Ava is an angel. She decided to do the right thing when it came to both Noah and the child she is expecting. After all, I wasn’t a saint during the nine years we were together, yet she still let me have access to Noah. She never even told him anything bad about me though I was a complete bastard to her.

“Sir, the China investors are here. They are insisting on a meeting” my secretary says.

“I thought they were supposed to arrive next week”

They were. That’s what was scheduled, but they just showed up out of nowhere”

I groan in frustration. I hate it when my plans are sidetracked It pisses me off when someone can’t keep to what was agreed “I’m not going to disrupt my plans because they woke up and just decided they’re going to move up the meeting. They can wait till I’m done with what I’m doing or they can leave and come back when they were fucking scheduled”

Those guys have been a pain in my ass since they sought us out. They were desperate for a collaboration and usually when someone is desperate that is not a good sign. I’ve been thinking of dropping them, but Gabe told me to give them a chance.

“Uh–okay. I’ll relay the information”

I hang up after that. I turn just as Ava walks out of the clinic.

“Who’s got you so angry?” she asks with a smirk. Almost as if she loves seeing me pissed off.

“Just got a call from my secretary about some investors.”

I see the way her face shuts down at the mention of my secretary. A dark cloud passing over her face.

“You should really fire her. Christine is a fucking bitch and not only to me, but others who she deems below her.”

I smile. “I already fired her and hired a new secretary”

“When?”

“After the night of the dinner gala. I didn’t like how she talked about you”

She looks shocked. I mean Christine had been my secretary for years. I just didn’t know she was a complete bitch. Scratch that, I didn’t care that she was a total bitch to Ava.

My smiles falls, when I realize how I let others and myself disrespect her. She’d been my wife.

The mother of my son. I should never have let that shit slide.

She doesn’t say anything after that. Just looks at me like she can’t figure me out.

“What did Doctor Raven mean when she talked about your first pregnancy?” I ask remembering what was said in the clinic.

“Can’t you just let it go? It doesn’t matter Noah is now healthy and everything went well. It’s all in the past” she averts her eyes, but I her voice catches and I know it’s painful for her to talk about it.

“Ava? Just tell me. I want to fucking know” I insist. I was desperate.

Going to all these appointments with her, I realize how much I missed when she was pregnant with Noah. I never even got to hear his heartbeat the for the first time.

Her eyes flash. Masking the glimpse of pain I saw in her eyes.

“Tell you what Rowan? That I was an eighteen year old pregnant girl who was scared and alone? That sometimes my blood pressure would spike up and I’d get admitted due to stress? That the constant hate from my family, my husband and in laws was too much that I fell into depression? How about the fact that the Raven told me with how my health was deteriorating, there was a chance my baby wouldn’t survive?”

1 She takes a deep breath before continuing. “I rarely saw you at home and when you did come all you did was tell me was how you hated my guts. I gave you an escape that day, but you didn’t take it and heaven’s do I wish I had fought harder to run away and get away from all of you. You told me you hated me without realizing that even though I loved you, I also hated you right back. Coming to that bar was the biggest mistake of my life. You, Rowan are the biggest mistake of my fucking life, but the thing is I can’t take it back and I wouldn’t if given a chance because that means regretting Noah, and I can never regret him.”

“Now if you’re done rehashing the past and opening wounds that I’m trying to heal, I’m gonna leave. Have a nice fucking day, because you just ruined mine” (4)

With that she turns away and leaves.

I can’t believe that we almost lost Noah. That all the mistreatment from me and the other caused her health to deteriorate. We were busy hating her, while she was suffering all alone. It breaks me knowing I had a hand in destroying her heart.

I watch her as she gets into her car. My heart constricting at what an asshole I had been. I didn’t realize it then, but I wasn’t the only one who was suffering. I refused to see her side. Refused to see her pain. She was eighteen for fucks sake.

She leaves. I’m left staring at her car until it disappears.

Running my hands through my hair, the gravity of the pain and hurt I put her through hits me like a ton of bricks. There was so much pain in her voice. So much anger. How the hell was I going