Chapter 31
Ex-Husband's Regret
I donât like her
Rowan.
I stare at my hands. My mom speaks softly to me. âIâm sorry Ro, but he refuses to come to talk to youâ
Iâve never been this hurt. Not even when Emma broke up with me and left. Noah is angry with me and has refused to answer my calls. Ava was right, Noah should come first and yet I let him down.
Iâd decided to take Emma out on my yacht. It was to afford us privacy to talk. She wasnât very happy after she learned that I had left her to rush to Avaâs side. It was my way of making it up to her.
Unfortunately Iâd lost complete track of time and my phoneâs battery died.
Iâve never seen Ava angry, and yesterday she took me by surprise. The fact that she stood up for Noah and called me out on my behavior left me feeling sort of proud of her. She had a back bone.
after all. It was nice to see that.
âRowan?â my mom calls out. âIâm going to hang up nowâ
âNo, please bring him to the phone. I want to apologize to himâ
Never has Noah ever refused to talk to me. It was crushing me to know that I had let him down. That I had broken my promise to him.
Mom sighs. âYou hurt him, Rowan. He was so excited yesterday. He was looking forward to you hearing all his accomplishments.
He cried while he was talking to Ava after the meeting. Noah never cries and yet you managed to bring forth tears from himâ
I stare at the wall feeling like the worst scum of the world. I didnât have a fucking excuse. I should have been in school like I had promised. Instead I was enticing Emma into forgiving me yet again.
âI know thatâ¦I heave a breath out, feeling defeated.
âDo you? Youâre not the one who had to watch him cry and console him. Iâm happy that Emma is back so you can stop hurting and I understand you two are trying to work things out but that doesnât mean you neglect your responsibilities. You have a son Rowan, he should always come first âYou donât have to tell me that, Ava already chewed my ear off yesterdayâ I ran my hand through âAs she should. Sheâs a mother and we mothers will do anything for our child even if it means going up against their dadâ she finishes, shocking me completely.
Never and I mean never has my mother ever taken Avaâs side. If there was someone who was against Ava from the start, itâs my mother.
âI get it, but can you please try and coerce him into talking to me?â I beg her, something Iâm not used to.
She pauses for a while before agreeing. I stay on the phone. Minutes pass and I almost hang up in surrender.
âHelloâ comes Noahâs soft voice.
âHey budâ I begin not really sure what to tell him. âIâm so sorry I didnât make it to your school yesterday.
I got held up somewhere and lost track of time, but I was told thatâ¦â
He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.
âItâs because of her isnât it? Mommyâs sister. Sheâs the reason why you didnât go to my teacherâs meetingâ his words catch me off guard.
I canât help the anger that I feel slowly rising. Did Ava tell him about Emma? Was it a way for her to spite me?
âWho told you this, is it your mother?â I ask trying to force the anger down âIâm eight not stupid dad, mommy didnât tell me anythingâ I hear a change in his voice and frown.
âWhat do you mean?â
âI saw her in your house that day I called. What was she doing there at night if sheâs not your girlfriend?
I asked mommy and she told me that I should talk about it with youâ he answers leaving me shocked yet again.
Emma has been to my home twice, I didnât know that during one of those times, Noah had seen het 1 thought that I would have time before I tell him everything âBuddy âJust know that I donât like her, I will never accept her if you marry her.â He states firmly Fuck, why the hell did I think that Noah would accept her? He was loyal to Ava. Sometimes I think he loves her more. 2 âIs it because sheâs not your mother?â maybe he just had a problem with Emma because she wasnât his mother. Maybe he just feels like sheâs taking his motherâs place.
âI just donât like. Plus sheâs mommyâs sister, thatâs just wrong dadâ he says as a matter of fact. 2 Is it a coincidence that Noah shares the same dislike Ava has for Emma? Could it be that she has been poisoning our son against Emma? I wouldnât be surprised if she was. 2 âListen, Noah, Iâm dating Emma and I expect you to treat her with respect. One day Iâll probably marry her and sheâll be your step mother. Youâll have to get used to seeing her aroundâ
I needed to nip whatever was growing inside him. Noah had to understand that Emma wasnât going anywhere.
âNeverâ he shouts defiantly through the phone.
âNoahâ¦â
âIf you like her then fine but just know I will never accept her. I will never like her and she will never be any kind of mother to me.â He all but growls.
Before I can say anything else, he hangs up the phone. I immediately call again but itâs switched off. I stare at my phone dumbfounded. Not understanding what the hell had gotten into him.
He has never been hateful towards anyone, but for some reason he hates Emma even though he doesnât even know. 3 I feel like Iâve just made everything worse. That he was now even more pissed at me.
I donât get the time to dwell on those thoughts. The door to my mansion opens and Emma walks in smiling. I had given her a key a few weeks back.
I look at her beautiful face. We were finally together after such a long fucking time. I thought that things would fall into place and yet the opposite seemed to be happening. Everything seemed to be working against us.
âRowan?â she calls me âWhat Emma?â I was frustrated by Noahâs behavior and his reaction towards Emma.
How could I be with her if son is against it? What the fuck was I supposed to do.
âTalk to me Ro, you know Iâm here for youâ she pleads.
Her broken voice makes me look at her. Her eyes were pleading. Like she truly wanted to share in what was weighing me down.
I ran my hand through my hair and release a sigh.
âI got into a disagreement with Noahâ I confess.
A frown mars her beautiful face. âIs it about yesterday?â
âPart of it, but majority is that he saw you here one day. He doesnât like it and apparently he doesnât like you. How am I supposed to deal with this? I love you both and I will never choose. So how am I supposed to be with you when my son doesnât like you?â I ask. Noah had placed me in a hard place. @
Sheâs quiet for a while. She stares into nothing before her blue eyes come back to mine.
âIs this the reason why youâve been distant? Iâve been back for a couple of months and youâre yet to kiss me or touch me. Is Noahâs reluctance to accept me holding you back?â
What could I fucking say? Every time I want to kiss her or she wants to kiss me, something hold me back. Instead I find myself pushing her away or pecking her cheek or forehead but never her mouth.
Is something wrong with because I just didnât understand. Iâve pinning for this woman since I was twenty one and now that I have her, I canât even bring myself to kiss her.
âYesâ I lie to her. There was no need to hurt her more than I already have.
We stay quiet. My mind reeling from my thoughts.