Chapter 299

“That is not an answer,” I snap His eyes are like a whirlpool of waves. A storm was raging behind the gray pools. They seemed to be beckoning me to their depths. Trapping me, refusing to let me go.

It’s then that I see it. A crac k in his armor. The reason why he didn’t want me to see Ethan.

For the second time today, I’m shocked.

“You’re afraid, aren’t you?” I ask softly while still trying to wrap my head around the discovery.

He shifts and turns away, but it’s too late. I’ve already seen the fear in his eyes. There is no way to get back from that.

Approaching, I gently lay my hand against his shoulders. “Rowan, talk to me”

I find myself massaging his shoulder when I feel the tension in his shoulders. I just wanted to understand.

He lets out the deep breath he was holding after a while, then finally turns to face. For the first time since I’ve known Rowan, I see insecurity in the depths of his eyes. “You’re right, Ava. I’m afraid” he sighs almost tiredly. “Afraid that you’ll fall for him. That you’ll choose him over me like I chose Emma over and over again. I’m f ucking afraid that one day you’ll wake up and decide that I’m not worthy of you, not good enough and that you’ll leave. I don’t think my heart can bare it if you left me, especially for him” His words and the way he looks so broken right now brings tears to my eyes. I’m mesmerized by the man standing before me. He’s always been so strong, so sure and confident, but now looking at him, I see vulnerability. I see him as human, just like the rest of us, not an ice cold statue. “I already told you that I would never leave you, Rowan”

“But you haven’t met Ethan. He almost took you from right under my nose. If it wasn’t for the fact that he betrayed you, I don’t think you would be with me right now. You would be his, and I would be too late in winning yiu back” My heart breaks at the pain I see in his eyes. Pain, guilt and regret are all mixed up inside him, causing him this heartache that I wish I could take away from him.

If I doubted what he felt for was real, then consider me cured. Even a great actor can’t fake the emotions and vulnerability in his eyes.

“I want you to understand one thing, Rowan, what I feel for you is unconditional. Even when you hurt me, tore me to pieces and broke my heart, I still loved you. I forgave you because I knew that my obsession with you when we were younger tore your life apart. I continued to love you because despite your cruelty. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. I’m with you because you’re what I always wanted and nothing can take me away from you.”

It was the truth. We both made mistakes. Some of which I’ll regret for the rest of my life. Yes, we were both drunk, but it was my obsession with him that led me to that bar that night. It’s my obsession that led me to think it was okay to sleep with Rowan even though I knew he belonged to someone else.

He retaliated in the only way he knew. It was wrong and I hate that he made me pay for that mistake, but I understand. If I were in his shoes, I would have probably done the same thing. I would have gotten revenge on anyone who tore me from the man that I loved. We were both wrong and we went about things the wrong way, but I’m so ready to move on and leave the past behind. There was no point in holding on it. It would only hold us back. “My heart will always belong to you” I continue. “If I truly loved Ethan, or felt for him a fraction of what I feel for you, then I would never have left him despite his sins, I would have been angry and mad as hell, but nothing would have driven me away from him.

Not even his crimes against me or his sentence”

Finally, the cloud he was drowning in starts to clear.

“You have nothing to worry about” I whisper as I walk into his personal space, wrap my hands around his waist and lay my head on.

Are sure?

I push away the nagging voice and focus on my husband.

“Okay then…you can go see him” he says after a while, his voice completely calm now.

I chuckle at his behavior. He was trying to wipe away his vulnerabilty. Trying to make it seem like he was permitting me, when we both knew the truth. He couldn’t have stopped me from doing what I wanted.

I let him think he has his way as I lean against his crumpled shirt and whisper, “Thank you”

I was hella nervous about meeting Ethan, but I knew it has to be done no matter the outcome.