Chapter 114

The wait

I stare at the doctor as if I’m a damn idiot who can’t comprehend what he just said. In my defense, his words didn’t register wholly with me. He was asking me to choose between Ava and her baby. Does he know how difficult that is?

“Mr. Woods, time is of the essence. We need to know your decision,” he all but begs.

I open my mouth, but no words come out. I try again, and the same thing fucking happens.

“Mr. Woods?” the nurse calls, concern in her voice.

“The baby,” Letty’s soft voice suddenly says, breaking the silence. “Save the baby, if it comes down to it.”

The doctor and nurse nod their heads before rushing back to the ER. I turn to face Letty with mixed feelings waging war inside me.

My look must have communicated something because she hardens her eyes in defiance before speaking.

“Don’t look at me like that, Rowan. This is what Ava would have wanted,” she says through gritted teeth.

Corrine comes to the defense of her friend.

“She’s right. Ava would have picked her baby over herself any day, any time. If we picked her over the child, she would have hated us.

I deflate after she voices what I was thinking just a few minutes ago. I know she’s right, but that doesn’t take away the heaviness I feel in my heart.

I would never wish her baby harm. All I pray right now is that it doesn’t come down to that. I hope that both of them make it. Ava deserves to know happiness, and her baby deserves to live.

I resume my seat and wait. It killed me to wait, but what choice do I have? I’m not a doctor, so I can’t really help her. All I can do is continue praying.

I don’t remember the last time I prayed. Probably when I was still a kid in Sunday school. Right now, I’m willing to pray to anyone who’ll listen and answer my request. If it was possible to trade places with her, then I would have gladly done so, even if it meant that I wouldn’t have survived.

As long as she got to live her life, then I would do it. I would sacrifice everything I have right now just to see her scowling or glaring at me. I would give up the world to reverse what happened to her if I could.

“It’s my fault.”

I turn towards the voice to find Letty silently crying.

“She’d tried calling me, but I was unreachable. When I got her missed call, I told myself I’d call her after i got out of work. I should have just called her back immediately. ”

Travis pulls her into his arms as she continues to cry.

“It wasn’t your fault, Letty. You couldn’t have predicted this”

“He’s right Letty, if anyone is to blame, then it should be me. I picked up her call. She wanted us to go shopping, but I was busy, so I asked her if we could postpone. If only I’d gone with her. Maybe I could have done something to prevent her from getting hurt.” She had her arms wrapped around herself as if she were cold. Just like Letty, she was crying.

Looking at them, I see the love for their friend shining through their eyes. They haven’t known each other for long, but their bond is unmistakable.

“None of you could have predicted something like this happening, so don’t blame yourself. The only one responsible is the bastard that hurt,” Kate tells them in a trembling voice.

“Playing the blame game right now won’t help. We need to focus on Ava and the baby. We should send our best prayers for them,” my mom adds.

I don’t say anything. I just focus on the emergency room, waiting for someone to come through the door.

Fuck. This was killing me. The waiting. The worrying. The uncertainty. I just need someone to fucking tell me that she is going to be okay. That she and the baby were out of danger. That they will be okay.

Everything in me screamed and begged for a silver lining. For a kind of miracle. My heart and soul begged for the angel of death to stay away. Their souls weren’t his to claim. Not now. It wasn’t their time yet; how can it be when they’ve both barely begun to live?

“Remember when we went to the mall and she didn’t see the glass wall in front of her?” Letty says with a smile.

Corrine chuckles. “Yeah. She hit it right in the face before she fell on her ass.”

“She was so embarrassed, but she couldn’t stop laughing about it because it was so funny.”

They laughed, and some of the others chuckled. There was just something about it that rubbed me wrong. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to remain quiet.

“Or the time the hot waiter caught her talking about how cute he is. We tried signaling to her that he was right behind her, but she didn’t get it, not until the man cleared his voice,” Corrine says with a fond smile on her face.

“She was mortified. She begged us to leave because she couldn’t face him after that.” Letty adds. “He to that place again,”

There was a moment of silence. Everyone was probably lost in memory lane. For the others, there probably weren’t any good memories. After all, they’d treated Ava like shit, but Letty and Corrine had lots of them.

We have so many memories to share with Noah and her newborn. So much to tell them about how amazing their mom is”

When those words leave Letty’s mouth, I blow up.

“Can you just stop!” I growl as I feel anger bubble up inside me. She had no right to talk about Ava like that.

“What? Stop what?” she stutters.

“Stop talking about her like she’s fucking gone!” I shout. “She isn’t. She’s still alive, and she’s going to pull through.”

They were talking about Ava as if she were already dead. That’s what pissed me off. You only talk about someone in the past tense if you believe that she’s not making it out of the hospital. 1 “Tha–that’s not what…”

Her response is cut short when the doors to the ER open and a different doctor comes out.

“How is Ava doing, doctor?” Kate asks while her fingers fidgeted.

“We’re now prepping her for surgery in order to remove the bullets. The C–section went smoothly on the baby’s part.

Everyone sighs in relief, but I feel like there’s something the doctor isn’t saying. What did he mean when he said the C–section went smoothly for the baby? What about Ava? Did that mean it went the opposite way?

Before I can ask him, he speaks again.

“Congratulations! You have a baby girl.