thirteen

BEAU

Rey is a powerhouse.

I can't help but grin as she tips her head back, skin slick under the spotlight, and belts out her most impressive note of the night. Her raspy voice bellows, full of emotion and pain, over the audience as I basically watch the crowd fall for her one by one. Beside me, Rocco nods his head at me.

"You were right about her," He chuckles, the dollar signs glistening in his eyes. I ignore it, knowing I won't let him push her the way the label did me. She'll have someone watching her back. "The band is okay, she'd do better with your guys."

I shrug. Her guys are okay. Scott is decent on bass and Cap is actually pretty impressive on the drums. But Rickie, the guitar player, can't compete with me. Few can, I smirk to myself.

No matter how good they are, though, Rey will always outshine them with the voice she has.

As the audience roars with approval, Rey wraps up her set, taking a dramatic bow in the center of the stadium stage. Breathing heavily into the mic, she turns to me off stage and smiles hugely. I can practically feel her "first concert" high from all the way over here.

"Alright y'all, you know what time it is!" Rey ramps up the energy in the stadium even higher, interacting naturally with the fans. "I want to hear your biggest, loudest, New York welcome for your favorite guitar player..." As excited screaming pierces the air, the venue practically shakes and my heart begins to race.

Adrenaline pumping through my veins, all that I can hear anymore is my own heart beating, pounding even louder than the sound of the crowd. With as many shows as I've done in the past, none of them felt like this.

Guess that's what happens when you're always drunk off your ass.

Slinging my guitar over my shoulder, I feel Rocco pat my back as I step forward onto the stage for the first time in years.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Beau Lewis!" Rey shouts, joining in the applause as I get comfortable, my guys beginning to play our first song right away on stage behind me. It's weird to be there with them, instead of the guys from MisFits, but I don't let myself perseverate on the thought.

I give Rey a one-armed hug, muttering into her ear so that she can hear me above the cheers. "Nice job out there, Rey-Rey. Ready to see how it's really done?" I wink at her sour expression before my fingers find their place over my guitar strings.

Finding my rhythm, I strum away for a few seconds before finally approaching the mic. I hesitate, staring out over thousands of faceless people. Singing in front of the crowd is new to me, I only ever sang back up for Jace before. Not because I wasn't good, but because Jace was just better - something I hate to admit, even if it is true.

Tentatively, I open my mouth and let the words flow out of me. Within seconds, I'm stunned into silence as a mixture of voices continue the lyrics without needing to follow my own.

I take a second, just gawking out at the audience like an idiot, a big smile plastered on my face. MisFits was huge, don't get me wrong. Our fans could sing our songs from start to finish most of the time, needing very little help, if any at all.

But this is different. This is all me, only me.

And they're still here.

Forcing myself back to the task at hand, my fingers strum the right chords and I go back to singing, letting my words mix with the shrieks of the crowd and losing myself in the familiar drunkenness of performing for thousands of people.

***

"A toast," Rey shouts, nearly falling out of her seat as the SUV takes a sharp turn, "To us, for our first real show!" She and her guys clink shot glasses before downing their contents. I stiffen at the sweet scent of whiskey in the air as Rey quickly refills the glasses and continues. "And one more for our guy, Beau, for making it happen!"

Judging by the less than enthusiastic expression on the guys faces, it's obvious that they don't feel the same. Realistically, they should be the ones thanking Rey and me. I wouldn't have introduced them to the label if not for her.

Shaking the comment off, I turn up the music to drown out any other possible conversation as we make our way to the nightclub for our personal after party. The guys hoot and holler along to the music, quickly forgetting Rey's remark in their tipsy state of mind.

Before I even meet her eyes, I know they're watching me intently. "Yes?" I mumble, just loud enough for her to hear.

Rey smiles at me lazily, eyes glassy. "Are you sure this is okay?" She eyes the other guys to make sure they aren't listening in. "Us drinking, going out, all that?"

"I'm fine," I respond almost too quickly but Rey lets it go. The truth is, I'm more nervous than I'd ever care to admit, but it'll never be said that Beau Lewis was the one to kill the party. "Really, it'll be good." I mutter, not sure who I'm reassuring at this point.

"If you're sure..." Rey trails off, already reaching for a bottle.

Who can blame her? There's nothing quite like your first show.

Leaning my head back against the leather seat, I close my eyes and let my mind wander.

It was hot that day, brutal under the LA sun. I had been there over a year and nothing was getting any easier. Not that I expected it to be, but I definitely didn't expect to be homeless the majority of the time.

Leaning my guitar against the brick wall behind me, I grabbed my water bottle, filled with vodka, and took a long chug. It was then that I noticed someone staring at me - a dude with messy blond hair and tattoos like mine poking out of his sleeves.

He watched me for awhile, through multiple songs, before slow clapping like an asshole when the rest of the crowd thinned away.

"Name's Jace," He stuck his hand out to me but I only stared until he dropped it back at his side. "You ain't bad, you know?" He crossed his arms over his chest and I ignored him, placing my guitar back in its case and grabbing the fistful of cash left in it.

"Thanks for the insight," I sneered, making my way around his body.

"My band and I, we've got a show tonight. We've been looking for a guitar player." His voice called from behind me. "It's at the nightclub up the street - not a stadium tour or anything, but better than what you're doing now."

Rolling my eyes up to the sky, I felt the heaviness of ten measly bucks in my pocket and reluctantly turned back to the man. My irritation grew as I took in the smug look on his face, but having little to no other options, I gave in.

"What do you need me to do?"

"We're here!" Rey jumps up and down in her seat, breaking me from my thoughts. "Let's go, let's go, let's GO!" She yells, grabbing me by the hand and dragging me out of the SUV.

Camera flashes blind us as we bypass the long line leading up to the entrance, shouting from fans and paparazzi alike making it impossible to hear anything until we're inside.

Once security lets us in, my eyes take a minute to adjust to the dim lighting. Rey, on the other hand, is nearly jumping out of her skin to get to the dance floor.

Latin music fills the air and shakes the walls. Strobe lights bounce various colors across the dance floor, illuminating sweaty bodies and scantily-clad party goers. Instantly, the hair on my arms sticks up straight and I feel beads of sweat forming over my skin.

"I love this song!" Rey stands on her toes so that I can hear her. "Dance with me, I'll show you how!" Her grin is goofy as she sloppily shows me the steps. Too preoccupied with avoiding eye contact with anyone at the bar, I give her a tight lipped grin and shake my head.

The aroma of liquor and smoke assaults my senses, worsening as someone nearly spills their drink down my shirt.

"Watch yourself," I growl, fists clenching before I even realize what's going on.

The guy lifts his hands, each holding a beer, as if in surrender. "Wow, sorry bro. No big deal, right?"

Grinding my teeth together, I find a point on the wall over his head and stare at it until my temper diffuses. Counting backwards from ten, I notice him walk off and feel a small hand on my forearm.

"Hey, you okay?" Rey's dark eyes are wide with concern as she stares up at me. "If this is too much-"

I shake her hand off of me and take a step back. "I'm fine, okay? I'm going to get some air." My tone is sharp, telling her not to follow. Surprisingly, she listens for once and stays put as I march out the side door of the club.

Leaning against the wall, I can still hear the music from inside. But the night air is cool against my clammy skin, the smell of alcohol not so pungent. As my heart rate slows, I let out a deep breath I hadn't even realized I'd been holding.

"Fuck," I press my fists into my eyes and weigh my options.

One: call Emma. But then, do I really want to be that guy? The guy that wakes her up in the middle of the night because he can't handle his shit?

I kick an empty beer can down the sidewalk.

Two: call Dr. Dex. While this wouldn't be the first time I woke the man in the middle of the night, I don't want him to see how right he was. How it only took one show and I'm almost losing it.

Banging the heel of my boot against the curb, I groan again. "Fuck me," I sigh.

Option three: go back in there and handle my crap. The only problem is that option three easily turns into going back in there and losing all control.

Staring at the neon exit sign above the door, I feel the burning in the back of my throat and almost take a step forward.

Instead, I grab my phone and quickly dial the number without thinking too much of it. Three rings later and I finally hear her voice.

"Hey, you've reached Emma. I can't come to the phone right now, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Bye!" My stomach twists painfully at the same time as a smile spreads across my face.

How can her voice alone make everything seem better?

"Hey, it's me. Just missing you is all. Talk to you soon, Em, sleep well." I hang up and the agitation is back almost instantly.

Reluctantly, I follow through with option two, knowing Dex is sure to pick up. Focusing on my breathing, I ignore the stench of tequila as two women leaving the club walk past me. Before Dex can answer my call, I hear a voice from a few feet away.

"No fucking way, is that Beau Lewis?"

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Beau Lewis, is that you?"

Rolling my eyes before I turn to face him, I quickly hang up the phone and turn to the guy I used to know so well.

"Jace, man, what's happening?"

Hi loves! I'm so sorry for being away for so long. Had some craziness going on but I'm back!

What do we think of this chapter - how're we feeling about Beau and his sobriety? Especially now that... dun dun dunnnn - Jace has returned?!

And anyone missing some Emma action, don't worry - more Emma pov coming soon!