15. Renewed Jealousy

*MATTY POV*

"Peep, Peep, Peep,"

Novalee chirps as she takes a handful of feed and tosses it to the seven hens and a few chicks with her brothers. My youngest daughter, who was usually braver than Rumi, now stood in between my legs, frozen and unable to move out of fear.

"That's right baby, little chicks go peep, peep, peep, see. The babies won't hurt you, look they're soft and fluffy," I told her as I took her small hand in mine and to reach out for the tiny chick eating the feed Nova had tossed.

"No mama!" she squealed and quickly retreated into my chest while her brothers were having a blast chasing the chickens and pretending they were little chicks under their new nanny's watchful eyes. I chuckled deeply and wrapped my arms around her while rocking her from side to side.

"Oh Nova, what are we going to do with you? Don't tell me you're scared of a few little chickens! You know mommy's going to protect you," I remind her but she shook her head, refusing to move.

I felt someone's presence behind me and turned my head to find Luca smiling as he watched our boys run around the pen. He had his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans with the sun reflecting off his burgundy baseball t-shirt as he raked his hands through his neatly combed hair. That beautiful smile of his was so genuine as he watched the little ones play that it was contagious and my own smile grew.

"They're growing so fast," Luca sighed before tilting his head down and catching my dreamy gaze while I sat on the stump with my fearful Nova.

"I know, they're going to be two years old pretty soon, can you believe it?" I sighed and Nova, upon hearing one of her father's voices, decided to come out of hiding and peeked her head up.

"Papa! Peep Peeps scary!" She told him and he squatted down to her height, looking her in the eyes as he tilted her chin up.

"Baby, there's a lot of things in this world that are scary, but it's only by facing the scaring things in life that we can turn our fears into strength," He tells her and gently pecks her tiny lips which hung on his every word in awe.

"Look, they're not going to do anything see?" Luca reached out and pet the speckled chick, which continued to eat its feed, Novalee silently watched him, examining his every move before turning away from me.

"Mama hold me!" She demanded as she reached her hand to me and I took it, holding her little hand as she reached out and touched the little chick her Papa was cradling in his hands.

"See? There's no need to be scared baby girl," He gently reminded her and she finally cracked a smile as she let go of my hand to pet the little chick.

"She's nice," Novalee cooed as she pet the fuzzy creature that was once unknown and Luca kissed her forehead. I felt a strong pair of arms suddenly surround me and giggled as Thomas' well-maintained stubble tickled my cheek.

"You guys don't look ready to go," He pouts and Luca put the chick down, letting Nova run off to play with her brothers.

"I'll have you know, I am very ready I just got distracted by this beautiful man in our chicken coop," Luca chuckles and stands up to dust himself off.

"Hmm, funny cause I did too," Thomas sighs and I pushed him off me.

"God you guys are ridiculous, stop calling me beautiful. I'm...I'm not," I told them honestly and I could tell neither one of them liked my response but I didn't give a shit, I'll say what I want, especially when it's the truth.

I subconsciously clutched my sides where my stretch marks from the quads were and sighed, embarrassed by my stupid body and hating it for not being what it use to be no matter how hard I worked.

"Matty don't-" Thomas tried to say something but I started walking back towards the house, not really in the mood to talk about it further.

***

"Wow, I feel like I haven't been here in forever,"

I awed as I stepped foot inside the NTB headquarters for the first time in over a year. I got off the elevator and it seemed like I never left as I walking into the large conference room that was once our living room. Over the years, the three-story penthouse had been renovated quite a bit.

"Me neither," Luca whistled as he walked ahead of me with his arms crossed over his chest. I gently poked his side and looked at my index finger.

"Woooah, you mean I can actually touch you out in the open now?!" I gasped sarcastically and he rolled his eyes, giving me a soft nudge.

"Ah, I remember those days, you know you two were terrible at hiding it. Everyone who lived here knew," Thomas said as he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. tossing one to me and I caught it in mid-air with my fast reflexes.

"Yeah and then this nerd happened to woo me around the same time," I sighed and Thomas tried to pull me close but I slipped away.

"Let's get started. It's going to be a long night if we put it off any longer and I want to put our little ones to sleep," I told them and they looked at each other.

"What?" I asked them and Luca shrugged.

"Thomas and I were thinking maybe we could stay here the night," He said and I raised my brow.

"J-Just the two of you?" I stuttered a bit as I shied away from them. They had spent a lot of alone time this year since my body was an unavailable wrinkled sack of shit and I didn't want anything to do with them until recently. But it touched the heart when they said it out loud and my chest hurt. Thomas starts to speak but I shook my head.

"No that's fine, you two deserve it. You'll have a lot more fun without me anyway. I'm like the ugly duckling or something am I right? Sometimes I can't even look at myself," I said with a laugh in a pathetic attempt to hide my hurt, but I'll get over myself.

"No Matty, of course we meant with you. Holy shit babe, when have we ever kicked you out like that?" Thomas asked and I walked down the hallway towards the recording studio, holding my sides again to hide myself like the ugly creature I am.

"No really, you two have fun. I'm fine with it. Let's just get to work," I suggested and heard two sets of footsteps behind me.

Thomas and I were going to do a cover of a song to submit the Human Rights Campaign in the protest to get our marriage rights back. Famous gay couples were singing covers together and showing their lives together to prove that being the same gender doesn't prevent someone from feeling and experiencing the same love a couple of the opposite gender would.

"Do you have any songs in mind?" I asked Thomas as I sat down in my favorite chair and my two favorite people stood at the door.

"Matthias my love, is there something wrong? I'm sorry, I really meant to say the three of us should stay here but it must have not come off right," Luca quickly apologizes with some kind of fear in his eyes and I smiled to try to alleviate it.

"No need to apologize, I get it. I wasn't really feeling up to doing anything anyway. So I was thinking we should do something soft and slow, but not any country shit," I suggested, scratching my chin. Thomas looked concerned but decided to follow me and move on from the topic.

"Hmm, I was trying to think but I couldn't really pop a song off my head that really describes us and I'm too...on edge, to write a new song," He said as he sat down next to me. Luca chuckled a bit as he closed the door to the soundproof room behind him and smiled.

"I remember this room too," he said, plopping down on the couch and laying down on it before looking directly at Thomas.

"What do you mean you remember this room? We never did anything in..." My gaze slowly drifts from his to Thomas' who was making a face where if his skin wasn't so dark he'd be a few deep shades of red right now.

"What?" I choked on my own breath and Thomas smiled, looking down at his sketchbook and clearing his throat.

"So song ideas, how about that song we got engaged to?" He asked me and I crossed my arms, giving him a sharp kick because he was closest.

"No, I want to know about what you did in here," I demanded and Luca sat up.

"It wasn't anything really Matthias-"

"Then tell me," I stopped him and he winces. Thomas nibbled the tip of the eraser on his pencil and sighed.

"You were an asshole back then Matty. Remember my nineteenth birthday?" He asked and I tried really hard to remember the day but couldn't. I could tell you his twentieth and up but not his nineteenth.

"No, no I don't. We weren't together yet," I confessed and he nodded.

"Exactly, well I felt like shit that day because everyone forgot my birthday and you refused to let me go to some stupid party. Well, I came in here to do some work and get my mind off it but one person remembered and that was Luca. After that well, things got a little out of hand." He said and I looked over to Luca.

Suddenly everything made sense.

Why Thomas forgave him so quickly. Why Luca felt comfortable coming to the house in the pouring rain knowing I hated him. Maybe Thomas was never mad about sharing me with Luca.

He was mad about sharing Luca with me.

"Matty?" Thomas snapped his fingers as I had completely zoned out and came back to them.

Hell if they were together, to begin with, maybe they would be better off without me.

"Hey, that was seven years ago sweetheart," Thomas reminds me and as I come back to focus, Luca was now standing behind Thomas with his hands on his broad shoulders.

"Do you guys love each other more than you love me?" I quietly asked and both their mouths hung open as if I told them some shocking news or some shit. I hate being so fucking vulnerable.

"Honey, where the fuck is this coming from?" Thomas asked and I looked away from their burning eyes.

"I know this past year I haven't exactly been the best husband to the both of you and I've just been a tired sack of shit, I'm not in the best condition since I had the babies, and I haven't exactly given you two a lot of attention so maybe its...maybe you would be better..."

"Don't you dare say it," Both of them said with such synchronization that it caught my attention and I looked up to find both of them looking tearful.

"Matthias, you can't entertain these false thoughts, you can't just-"

"I need air," I quickly got up, suddenly feeling nauseous with the heartbreaking emotions running through me and walking out of the room. Only to hear them both following me.

"Leave me alone!" I called back but they didn't stop.

"Matty! We need to talk!" Thomas called out but I didn't stop either as I reached my old room.

"Wait! Matthias!" I walked into the room panting and slammed the door closed behind me, locking it before they could enter and turning to my old room, only to be shocked by what I saw.

********************************************

Yo, I know I disappeared for a few days but in less then two weeks I'm starting a new life and I'm leaving for boot camp as a member of the US military. I'm trying to spend as much time with those close to me as possible.

So just warning you,

Starting January 20th, I will not be on Wattpad until April.

I don't know if I can finish this story beforehand but I'll try to write as much as I can for you before leaving.

When I come back, you guys will be first to know and I'll keep writing so don't give up on me!!!

Anyway, back to the story...

How are y'all feeling about this sticky situation?

And do you have a favorite Jackson quad?

-love Ry