Chapter 36

Pain pounded through my skull. My mouth tasted like death, and I needed water. I was hot. Hot with shivers and chills. Sure, I had stuff to drink last night, but not enough to make me feel like this.

I wasn’t perfect. I’d done my share of partying in college, before college, and even a bit after. I knew how much I had to drink to have a bad hangover, and last night I wasn’t even close.

Didn’t stop me from losing my cool though.

Fuck, I never should have gone after her like that. She was trying to piss me off, and it worked. But hearing her say things like that about them? I couldn’t let it happen. The need to defend them against what she said hadn’t been a choice. It was a necessity.

But her parting shot still stuck with me. Maybe I was someone who clung to people too hard and made them regret it. Maybe I was the one who was at fault somehow.

Maybe I was already doing it with this pack, even though they didn’t belong to me.

Fear and grief lodged in my chest, curling around my heart. I shoved my face harder into the pillow I clung to, prepared to sit in the physical and emotional pain. Because ever since Vaughn and the beach, my instincts were higher, and it was so much harder to shut things out.

A gentle hand skimmed across my arm, smoothing all the way down it and circling my wrist to try to make me let go of the pillow. I didn’t. “Hey, baby girl.”

No moving. If I didn’t, it was possible I could make him think I’d fallen back asleep.

But of course that didn’t work. He gently and insistently separated me from the pillow, rolling me back so he could see me, and I could see all of him. From his beautiful face to the tattoos that rolled down his chest. I couldn’t meet his eyes.

“How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” I whispered and cleared my throat. “I’m… pretty embarrassed right now, and I’d rather none of you see me like this, if you could give me some time.”

Hawk frowned, nothing but concern in his eyes. “Why are you embarrassed?”

I still wasn’t looking at him. “Because I made a fool of myself, and some of what she said about me is true. So, I’ll just stay here until I don’t feel like death warmed up.”

Movement at the corner of my eye had me looking at Vaughn, who stood at the edge of the bed, eyes burning with anger. “Which things did she say that were true?”

My breath hiccuped, and I looked away, keeping the emotions in check. Barely. “I am desperate. And maybe that makes me do things I shouldn’t. I probably held on too tightly. Maybe I do hold some of the blame.”

His growl had my hair standing on end and chills running over my skin. He pulled me to the edge of the bed, still careful with me, but not giving me a choice either. He sat me on the edge, legs on either side of my knees so I had nowhere to go. My face was in his hands, and all I could think about was that he smelled so good, and I didn’t want all of this to be ruined.

“I don’t know what she said to you before we got there. When Ellie called us, I don’t think we’ve ever moved so fast, and I’m grateful the club is close. But nothing I heard while I was there was remotely true. About you, us, or anyone else. Don’t you dare let her into your head, Isolde. That’s exactly what she wanted.”

My lower lip trembled, and I focused on the little hollow at the base of his throat. “But what if it’s true?”

“It’s not. Because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be loved, sweetheart. And if the right people love you, they want you to hold on tight. Okay?”

Everything felt so close and so real. I couldn’t manage to speak, but I nodded once.

Vaughn leaned down to kiss my forehead. “Why don’t you go take a quick shower so you feel a little better? Then the five of us want to talk to you.”

I looked up at him in panic, and he smiled. “It’s not about last night at all, or anything bad. I promise.”

“Still not reassuring,” I muttered.

“I promise,” he said again, helping me up off the bed.

The shower made me feel a little better, but I still felt rough, and it didn’t make sense. Probably just me getting older and not being able to handle alcohol as much. Which was shitty, but also a reality.

I pulled on the biggest sweatshirt I brought, and some sleep shorts. Being comfortable was my biggest priority right now with my stomach in tangles because they wanted to talk to me.

All five of them sat on the couches in the living area when I came out of the closet. Fear so visceral ran through me I couldn’t even take a step forward. Joel was the one who stood and came to me, pulling me against him. “Your scent right now makes my heart break, Isolde. You don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

“Usually needing to talk isn’t a good thing,” I said quietly.

“Well, it is this time.”

I whined, but let him tug me to the couches to sit between him and Rowan. A sweatshirt was a bad choice. I was already too hot, sweating beneath it. My head pounded, nausea rising like a tide. I really needed to go back to bed.

Hawk leaned forward, elbows on knees, with his dark eyes on me. “We decided a couple of days ago we were going to talk to you, baby girl. We’ve wanted to, and we can’t wait any longer.”

Unnatural heat filled the back of my throat. “I’m sorry⁠—”

I sprinted for the bathroom, dry heaving over the toilet when I got there. There was nothing to throw up. I’d barely eaten yesterday because I’d slept for most of it, and what was left of the alcohol was already gone. But everything swam. I felt hot, and I could smell the toothpaste I left open on the counter. The lingering scent of my bodywash from the shower. I felt like I could smell everything.

It was physically impossible for me to be pregnant, thank fuck, but whatever this was? I didn’t like it.

A knock came on the door. “Isolde?” Rowan’s concerned voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I opened the door, frowning. “I didn’t throw up. I have no idea what’s happening.”

The scent of coconut slammed into me, followed by that trace of salt I couldn’t get enough of. Rowan’s familiar scent, but it had never smelled like this before. Sweeter and sharper and with a hundred different layers. It curved around me and melded to me and changed me. I would never be the same after scenting something this delicious. All I wanted to do was bury my face in his chest and inhale, so that’s exactly what I did.

My fingers gripped his shirt, my nose in the fabric before I could take another breath and holy fucking shit he smelled so good. I never wanted him to take a step away from me again. I would glue him to my side because he was mine.

Dawning realization reached me.

Oh. Fuck.

He was mine.

I looked up at Rowan and saw the concern on his face. He brushed my hair back. “Isolde?”

“Is it all of you?” I whispered.

Before I could answer, I pushed past him into the room. All of their scents crashed over me in a wave. A mixture and medley of everything good in the world that told me the truth. They were mine. They were my Alphas. My pack.

My knees buckled, and Cade met me halfway, catching me before I could fully hit the floor. I heard their cries of distress from somewhere else, sinking into the depth of his soft sandalwood. His fingers brushed my head, and he went rigid. “She’s burning up. I think she’s going into heat.”

Rowan wrapped around me from behind with a purr, lifting me up and turning me so I could hold him too. Tears streamed down my face. Everything moved so fast I didn’t know if I was happy or shocked or angry.

They were mine.

No questions or wondering, no having to figure things out. They were mine, and they would have known this whole time.

My voice broke when I found it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Rowan’s hand held the back of my head. “We were about to. Just now. We’d agreed we couldn’t wait any longer.”

“But before. Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t have believed us,” he whispered. “You weren’t ready.”

Another set of arms came around me, and suddenly Vaughn held me. He nuzzled into my neck before speaking. “You told us you didn’t want anything to do with us outside our arrangement. Not even sex. We knew the second we met that you were ours, but we weren’t going to lose you because we moved too fast.”

It was true. If they’d told me this when we first arrived, I would have panicked and ran. Maybe even sent them away. Part of me felt like I should be angry with them for not telling me, but I wasn’t. They were right. I was too broken and I wouldn’t have listened.

“But we never lied to you, baby girl.” Hawk’s voice came from behind us. “I need you to know that. We left this out, but we never lied. And we tried to tell you how much we wanted you without outright saying it.”

I’m not pretending with you.

You are my priority.

You’re mine.

Hawk’s voice at the anniversary party. My pack and I. She’s our Omega.

All the times they’d spoken of things that could come in the future. The quickly hidden flashes of hurt whenever I dismissed it. Because they’d already known they wanted me. And I missed it entirely.

I pressed my face into Vaughn’s neck, breathing him in. He was fucking lickable. I loved his scent before and now I was obsessed. At the same time, I needed the others close to me so I could have theirs too because it was all incredible.

“Speaking of the arrangement,” Joel said quietly. “We returned your money as soon as we arrived at the house. We didn’t need to be paid to spend time with our Omega. And I hope—” He took a hitching breath that had me looking over at him. “We hope you know how much we want you. You’re the last client we’ll ever have, because you’re ours. If you want us.”

If I wanted them.

If.

Like it was even a question. The only reason I hadn’t dived headlong into them was the knowledge that it wouldn’t last and it was fake.

Somehow I was in Joel’s lap and kissing him and I didn’t remember moving. “Of course I want you. I wanted you even though I wasn’t allowed to, and I was already planning on how I was going to survive when you left.”

“We’re not leaving you. Ever.”

I whined, perfume exploding around us. That explained why I was perfuming even while asleep. “It’s not time for my heat,” I whispered. “I don’t know why this is happening.”

Cade laughed. “I don’t care how. I’m glad it did.”

“I’m guessing it was the beach,” Vaughn said. “Your instincts were just as high as mine, and last night when you defended us to Angela, it pushed you over the edge. It can happen.”

Omegas had at least one heat per year, but we could have more. He wasn’t wrong. My Omega had been just below the surface for days. It wouldn’t have taken much, and that bitch pushed exactly the right buttons.

A new wave of heat and nausea rolled over me, far stronger. No wonder I felt hungover. An unexpected heat like this could make you feel completely different, and it was coming on fast. Pain gripped my gut suddenly, constricting because I was empty and I needed to be filled with a knot. Right now.

My hands fluttered on Joel’s shoulders. “It hurts. Please.”

Rowan stood beside us. “We have a nest at our house. It’s not far, but it will still take a little time to get there.”

“I have one here,” I managed, letting my head brace against Joel. “It’s probably dusty as hell, but⁠—”

No, that wasn’t right. After I moved in with Beau, my mother asked if she could repurpose it because it had a good view and nice natural light. It was now her office. “No, I think it’s gone now.”

“Okay, baby girl.” Hawk was already moving. “We’ll get you to ours. I think your parents are in the breakfast room. I’ll tell Ellie and your parents what’s happening so they don’t think we’re kidnapping you. And I’ll ask for some extra things for the nest.”

No, he couldn’t.

I struggled to my feet, nearly falling into his arms in the process. Panic ripped through me, made all the hotter by the burn writhing under my skin. He couldn’t go. He couldn’t leave. I couldn’t take it again.

“Please,” I begged. “Don’t go.”

Hawk leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, baby girl. I promise. All I’m doing is going to get some things to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“No.” I barely recognized the strangled, high-pitched voice coming out of me. I clung to him. “Don’t leave me, Alpha. Please. Please don’t go. I’ll do whatever you want. Just please don’t leave me.”

“Isolde.” Hawk stared at me, horror on his face. “Why would you⁠—”

His face transformed into anger so sharp it stole my breath. “Did he leave you while you were in heat?”

Tears welled in my eyes, my hands fisting his shirt. I didn’t like to think about it. It still hurt after all this time. “Don’t go,” I whispered.

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Arms came around me and lifted me. Sandalwood and vanilla with a touch of deeper sex and sweat. Cade. He smelled so good. I turned into his hold, pressing my face into his neck.

“I’m not leaving you, baby girl,” Hawk said. “Not even for a second. We’re all going together. I’ll take care of this, okay?”

I nodded into Cade’s neck. Low words floated around me, but they were all here and I was safe. Cade was safe. They were here, and they were mine.

Voices echoing drew me back to the world through a swell of rising temperature and perfume. The waves were growing sharper.

I hadn’t even noticed we were moving until I heard the door slam open ahead of us, and Hawk’s voice slicing through the breakfast room. “You left her alone while she was in heat?”

Vaughn pushed open the door in time for me to see Hawk pull Beau out of his chair by his collar and hit him in the face. I cringed into Cade, the sound of the hit violent… and satisfying.

The table erupted, people moving to pull Hawk off Beau, but it barely worked. Hawk kept hitting him. “You fucking worthless excuse of an Alpha, leaving an Omega alone when she needed you.” Another punch.

A whine slipped out of me. I wanted Hawk with me. Closer. I loved this, but it could come later.

“Elliot,” Cade said, and it was the only thing that got through. Hawk’s head whipped up, eyes finding mine. He was across the room to us in seconds, leaving Beau on the floor, groaning. Angela was screaming something, but I didn’t care. I noticed it was the bridal party, but no one else. My parents, Ellie, and Warren weren’t in sight.

My Alpha kissed me and we were moving out of the house and to their car.

“Are you sure?” Joel asked. “We can stay at the nest here if you like. Just use the bed in the suite.”

“I’m sure.” I didn’t want to be in the same house as Beau and Angela. As anyone. All I wanted was to be alone with my pack. The nest being perfect didn’t matter. I would have plenty of heats in my life to have a perfect nest. Right now I needed them and the truth of what was between us. Something I should have known the day I met them. I wish I’d known.

But they weren’t wrong. I never would have believed them. Probably would have sent them away and tried to muddle through the last two weeks alone. Miserable and sad.

Cade arranged me over his legs in the back of the car, my feet ending up in Vaughn’s lap. I closed my eyes and drifted, knowing they would take care of me.