Chapter 19

Vaughn dropped the bag on the ground, spread out a huge beach towel, and grinned. We were all the way at the end of the beach, where the bonfire had been, and further, near the cliffs. The shade was perfect in the heat of the summer sun, and there was a smaller chance of me burning to a crisp.

“Time for sunscreen?” He shook the bottle in his hand. One of the spray-on kinds.

“You’re enjoying this far too much.”

“I don’t think so.” He prowled toward me, shirt already gone, body on full display. “I think you’re not used to having someone appreciate you, let alone savor you.”

He stopped in front of me, and I had to look up at him. “Why do you all say things like that? I mean, I get it. It’s a part of the whole… experience, I guess. But I’m no one to you.”

“Isolde.” My name was low and soft on his lips. I couldn’t puzzle out why there was so much pain in it.

“You talk like I matter.”

One hand reached out and pulled my body to his. The sunscreen fell to the sand as he wrapped me up, hands dragging over my skin like he wanted to feel everything at once. “You do matter,” he whispered.

“Why? I’m⁠—”

“Because you’re a fucking person,” he said, holding me flush to his body. “You’re beautiful, and I won’t lie, I searched your work. You’re fucking talented. You’re kind when you don’t need to be. You care about your friends and family. It took me no time at all to see those things, and even if not one of them was true, you’re still a person, Isolde. You matter.”

Vaughn threaded his fingers into my hair and pulled my head back to kiss me. Hard. Orange and ice cream and sweetness. A trace of syrup from breakfast. He didn’t let me back away, teasing my mouth open beneath his until he had all of me. Stole my breath. Consumed my voice. Pinned me to the spot and kissed me until I was nothing but a blank slate to believe his words.

He kept my head arched back, drawing the words up my neck. “If I hear you say you don’t matter again, or question your worth, I’m giving you to Cade and Joel. They’ll spank it out of you if they have to.”

“What?” My mouth dropped open.

A lazy smirk pulled at his lips. “‘I shouldn’t want to think about this, but I have, and do. All the fucking time.’ Isn’t that what you said about spanking on your questionnaire?”

“You memorized it?”

“Not quite.” He released me to retrieve the sunscreen. “But almost. I’ve certainly looked at it enough. Off.” One tug of my sparkly cover-up had it floating down onto the sand. They had all seen me naked, but this felt different. “Turn around.”

I obeyed, still caught on the fact that he knew my words by heart. “You said you’d tell me which ones belong to you.”

The loud sound of the spray made me jump, and the coolness made me shiver. Vaughn ran his hands over my shoulders and down my back, continuing down my legs. “Do you have any guesses?”

The fingers brushing between my thighs had my mind going blank. How was I supposed to talk when he touched me like he was about to fuck me, not drag me into the ocean? There were so many things… “It could be anything.”

He rubbed the sunscreen into my legs, large hands curling around my legs and finding every bit of skin. Fingers dipped beneath the edge of my bikini bottom, enough to make me close my eyes and revel in the heat, but not quite enough to be scandalous.

“It could be anything, but it’s not.” He was close again, body brushing against my back. Instead of spraying on my skin, he sprayed it into his hands and used both of them, slowly smoothing over my hips and stomach and upward in a massage far too delicious for the beach.

“You like,” I had to pause to catch my breath. “You like impact play?” They had plenty of questions about floggers and whips. I’d never experienced that, and it wasn’t at the top of my list, but I would try anything once.

Within reason.

“Mmm.” He hummed the sound into my neck, raising goosebumps on my skin even though it was hot out here. “No. None of us love that. It’s fine, but it’s not our favorite.”

“Tell me,” I breathed.

“Primal.” The single word was a growl. Vaughn ran his hands over my breasts, neck, and shoulders, covering me with sunscreen while he spoke. “The running. The chasing. Pinning to the ground and taking. Giving in to your deepest, and sometimes darkest, instincts. Letting them take over and doing what feels right.”

One hand rested on my chest, and he lifted it to my throat, just where Cade had gripped me last night. I leaned into him further. “Do you want me to chase you, Isolde?”

I remembered every vivid detail of when I filled out their questionnaire and the thoughts racing through my head. Imagining the adrenaline of running from someone while knowing they were ultimately going to catch me. Thinking about doing nothing but what my subconscious commanded, whether it was fight or flight or fuck or flee.

My whole body shivered with the thought.

I over thought everything. In the same way that Rowan’s description of surrender appealed to me, so did this in an entirely different way.

“Yes,” I finally whispered. “I want that.”

“Fuck,” he murmured into my hair, pulling me back so I could feel how hard he was. “Do you want to plan it out?”

“Or?”

Vaughn bit my neck, not quite hard enough to bruise, soothing the pain away with his tongue. “Or I just take you. Let you loose and tell you to run. You don’t have to decide now, or at all. Think about it and let me know.”

A heavy breath fell out of me like he’d just released a hold on my lungs. “Okay.”

“Now, let’s get in the water.” He was back to his normal, smiling self like he hadn’t just growled in my ear that he wanted to hunt me and fuck me.

“Not too late to go back inside.”

One eyebrow cocked. “Do you trust me?”

“I just told you I wanted you to chase me, which takes like a thousand times more trust, so yes.”

“But you’re not afraid of that.” Vaughn held his hand out for mine. “I’ve got you.”

His touch was gentle, guiding me into the water. Further than Rowan had. Further than I’d been into the actual ocean in years. Nerves sprang to life, and I froze with the water swirling around my thighs.

Vaughn stepped close and held me. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his chest. Breathed in his scent. Let it calm me. I was going to need to buy stock in creamsicles after this because I didn’t think I would ever have enough.

He drew me deeper. Until the water rose around my chest. Terror flowed under my skin, waiting for the moment when the water would rip me away and hold me under. Try to kill me in the way only a giant, faceless thing could.

But nothing happened. Vaughn’s arms still wrapped around me, and other than the swell and fall of the waves, there wasn’t any current.

“Still with me?”

“I think so.”

Vaughn gripped my ribs and lifted me, bracing my knees on his hips. The water held me too. I felt weightless. Powerful. And this Alpha looked up at me like I was the sun, not the one in the sky.

“Did it happen here?”

“No. I mean, yes, but not this beach. A few miles south. One of the public ones, and it happened so fast. A lifeguard saw me go under, and that’s why I’m still here. But he almost didn’t make it.”

Slowly, he lowered me closer, nearly close enough for our lips to touch. “I’m glad you’re still here.”

“Me too.”

It was easy to be here in the water with him, like he held all the water back and gave my soul space away from the fear. But it hovered at the edges, and I knew if I were on my own I wouldn’t make it out this far. Being with him I liked. Learning to swim? I wasn’t sure I was ready.

“Do you have to teach me?”

“I’d like to, but it doesn’t have to be today.”

I rolled my eyes. “Trust me, I don’t think you’ll like teaching me.”

“Actually I would. It’s what I do most of the time anyway.” He smiled, eyes lighting up in that way someone had when they truly loved something.

“You’re a swim instructor?”

“Scuba, actually. But I do teach swimming lessons sometimes. I do some free diving, too.”

Free diving. I’d heard of it, but not enough to know what it really was. “I’m not familiar.”

Vaughn smirked. “It means I can hold my breath for a really long time and not come up for air.”

He was not talking about diving. “Good to know.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been in the water?”

I shrugged. “I go in pools and hot tubs, but it’s been a while. Just in the shallows.”

“Do you know how to float?” There was no judgment in his tone.

“Yeah. Haven’t done that since I was a kid, though.”

Rising up, he caught my lips with his, using the motion to ease me down further into the water. “Still trust me?”

All I could do was nod.

“Lie back. I’ll have you the whole time. Promise.”

I believed him.

Stretching my body out, I took a deep breath and let the water—and Vaughn—hold me. A wave splashed over my face, and the fear came roaring back. I thrashed, only to find Vaughn’s arms beneath me. Holding me up. Making sure I wasn’t going anywhere.

“I’ve got you,” he said quietly, moving one hand under my head.

The world grew quieter with my ears under the water. I closed my eyes, choosing this moment to let go and trust. If now wasn’t the time, when was?

I floated, inhaling the sea salt and tang of citrus from Vaughn. This was…

Wonderful.

Knowing someone was there to keep anything from happening let me ease into it. My body felt heavier even though it wasn’t. And no fucking wonder. Had I ever had this simple feeling of safety with Beau?

No.

That was the answer. No matter how long we’d been together, I could now look back and see how I’d always kept an eye over one shoulder. Kept everything together with my own two hands. Kept myself safe.

Until I couldn’t even do that.

Hot tears flooded my eyes, followed by grief so sharp I couldn’t breathe. One slipped out from beneath my closed lids, and I heard Vaughn suck in a breath. “Isolde? Are you okay? Is it too much?”

“It’s not that,” I managed. “I’m… okay.”

Vaughn floated me toward the shallows, lifting me out of the water and cradling me all the way to the towel he’d laid out. “You don’t seem like you’re okay.”

Lying beside me, he kept me close. A hand on my hip, thumb teasing the edge of my bathing suit. He propped up his head on one hand.

The way his body stretched out next to mine, I couldn’t help but look. A tattoo peeked out from his bathing suit, begging me to find out what it was, and the water dripping down his chest mesmerized me. I reached out and touched him, tracing lines down his wet skin, and Vaughn didn’t stop me.

“Have you ever had a moment where you looked back and realized how foolish you’d been? The truth of everything just slams into you and you can’t stop it? You have to face it, even if it’s painful?”

He slid his hand up my side, finally brushing a soaked strand of hair behind my ear. “I think everyone’s had a moment like that.”

A laugh without any joy. “That’s what the last few days have been like. On repeat. The five of you. You’re not even with me, and you’re showing me how badly I was treated and still thought I was happy. I thought I was loved.” My voice cracked on the word. “And it hurts. Maybe more than it did before. Because I’m not grieving for him, I’m grieving for me. I did that. I stayed. I didn’t realize that I was a placeholder in someone’s life until they didn’t want me. I feel so stupid.”

Vaughn looked at me for a while, searching my face. Again, no judgment. It felt like he was looking for the right words.

“You are not stupid, foolish, or any of those words for believing someone who offered you the world with no intention of delivering it. That man is a fucking fool for ever thinking he could do better than you.” He closed the distance between us. “His loss.”

I kissed him like it was real. Like Vaughn was mine. Like the whole pack was mine and after Ellie’s wedding we’d be going home together. And for this brief moment, it didn’t hurt.

“Did he?” I asked when we broke apart for breath. “Did he offer me the world?”

“You were with him for four years, you lived with him, and without you telling him, I imagine you thought you would marry or bond with him eventually. Right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then yes, he offered you that. You had no reason to believe it wouldn’t happen, and then he cut you out like you were nothing but an inconvenience. He’s a prick.”

The words stung, but they were true.

Vaughn kissed me again, this time pushing me back onto the towel. I giggled, and he still managed to keep kissing me. He was hard again, barely anything between us. “I’m not going to let you fuck me on the beach in the middle of the day.”

“That’s why we have a perfectly good bed.”

“For sleeping.”

“Among other things.”

I liked being under him and his weight. It settled me and reminded me of our conversation earlier. “I don’t want to plan it,” I said. “The chase.”

Vaughn pulled back in surprise. “Really?”

“Just take me,” I whispered.

A feral gleam entered his eyes. “If we’re near water, will that bother you?”

“As long as it’s not deep, it’s fine.”

“Good. I won’t do anything beyond your limits, but you might have some bruises. Comes with the territory.”

I bit my lip to keep from smiling too widely. “I don’t mind.”

“Don’t tell me that,” he growled. “Because primal bruises aren’t the only ones I like. I’ll mark you with my hands and teeth, sweetheart, so that everyone knows you’re fucking mine.”

A shudder rolled through me, and he felt it. God, I loved those words. The depth of that claim. I craved it more than I could put into words. “Just don’t mark me somewhere that will show for the wedding. I doubt Ellie will want pictures of marks from me getting fucked.”

Vaughn groaned, dropping his mouth to my skin. “If you don’t want me to fuck you on this beach, you can’t say things like that.”

“What if I’m aiming to make you pick me up and carry me off to the suite again?”

“That can be arranged.” Then he paused. “You need a safeword.”

To stop if something went wrong. That made sense. I’d never done anything that needed one before, but I had a feeling that was going to change with more than just Vaughn. “How about banana?”

He chuckled. “Banana?”

“I don’t think I’m going to be using that while you’re chasing me. I can feel how big your banana is, but I promise I won’t call it that while you’re inside me.”

Vaughn burst out laughing, the sound echoing off the nearby cliffs. “I promise that when I’m inside you, the last thing you’re going to be able to think or talk about is fucking bananas.”

“Silly Alpha. Bananas don’t fuck.”

“Isolde.”

I grinned. “Vaughn.”

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah.”

Opening my mouth, I started to ask him if he was going to carry me away, and stopped. People were coming toward us on the beach. The entire bridal party, actually. Two of the guys were setting up a net, and I spotted balls of various shapes and sizes.

Warren was the one who came all the way to us. “You lovebirds busy, or can I steal Vaughn?”

“What are you stealing him for?” I asked.

“Just some friendly competition. Losing side gets to set up all the stuff for dinner on the beach.”

“And the winning side?” Vaughn didn’t look away from me.

Warren glanced backward. “Winners get control of the barbecue.”

Vaughn cocked an eyebrow at me, asking the silent question. If I told him I wanted him to take me inside, he would do it. Without hesitation.

I opened my mouth.

“Isolde.” Trinity’s voice carried across the beach. “Get your fine ass out from underneath his fine ass and get yourself a drink.”

Suddenly we were laughing together, and Vaughn kissed me one more time. “Later?”

“Later. But you better win.”

He winked before pulling us both to our feet. “Yes, Ma’am.”