chapter 15

Love“I Love You, Ishana,” he repeated. “And not the timepass kind, but the one from the soul kind.” I pushed him and freed myself from his grip. His hug always gave me comfort. His touch always felt like second-nature to me. His presence felt like home. But how dare he! SLAP!“Who gave you the right to kiss me?” I screamed.“Ishana,” it was Shiva. She had rushed next to me and was holding me gently so that I don’t raise my hand again.“Get out!” I pointed at the door. “NOW!”“I…” Pratham started, but Sarv interjected, “Maybe tomorrow, man.”“I felt you too liked me.” Pratham was disheartened. His eyes were almost full of tears.“I don’t care if you like me or love me or whatever. Love is nothing but a cheap trick to sleep with someone. I don’t believe in love. It’s a sham! Get out of my house. And if you gave me the job and that assignment to lure me into sex, then screw you and everything related to you. I will quit now.” “I didn’t,” he started, but I raised my finger to shut him up. I was barking mad.“Ishana, he is leaving. You should go to your room too,” Shiva spoke, shielding Pratham.“First, he will leave,” I protested, opening the door.He moved outside. He had the most horrible expressions, but I didn’t care. Slamming the door in his face, I ran to my room.I don’t know what had happened to me. Pratham was a good guy. And he had helped me a lot. He gave me a job when I needed most. He even found me an assignment so that I could find Rakshit. But… NO! I would not fall in love again. I would not be an object of someone’s pleasure again. I would not be fooled again. This was it.  My life was a rotting hell. I had found solace in the college – studying and working there was my only peace, but now, that too was snatched from me.I cried that whole night. I didn’t know what I felt for him, but I knew I was not ready for a relationship. If he kissed me just to say ‘I Love You’, I feared what he would do next.I went to college the next day but skipped work. I avoided the photography department, cafeteria, and even all open spaces. I just sat glued to my seat all day long and studied. I continued this routine for one week when finally Ankit came looking for me.“What happened? Everything alright?” he asked, sitting opposite to me during lunchtime.“Nothing,” I spoke without even looking up at him.“You can tell me, right?” he spoke dejectedly.“Seriously, nothing happened.” I lied very unconvincingly.“Then why are you not coming to work?” “I am not keeping too well these days. I just study and go home.”“Then come and tell it to Pratham. His schedule is all haywire, and he is furious to the levels of abuses.” Ankit held his head in his hands. He clearly was over-stressed. I felt bad for him. Due to my sudden disappearance, his workload had increased dramatically.“Abuses?” I asked seriously.“He is not abusing either of us. He is just abusing in general. He is all over the place these days. I have never seen him this stressed. Please come and hand over your resignation at least. If you quit – which is just way too bad – we need someone else to fill in,” he practically begged, and I gave in. Not for myself, not for Pratham, but for Ankit.After classes, I went to the photography department. Only Pratham and Ankit were there. As I walked in Pratham clapped sarcastically. “Look who decided to grace us.” I stared at him. The way he was looking at me, rattled and infuriated, I couldn’t believe he was the same guy who had proposed to me and kissed me with such warmth and affection.“You think you are a star already?” he fumed. “And that reminds me, Milaap is waiting for that signed agreement. Usually, nobody waits, but they have taken a liking to you. Worried you might reject the offer, they have increased your fees.” Ankit’s jaw dropped.“Why am I always the last one to know?” Ankit was angry.“Because this diva here has not yet accepted the offer. Ishana, they want you. So, what’s your decision?” Pratham asked without even a shred of affection in his voice.The way he was talking to me, the way he was looking at me, it felt like he had worn a mask. This was not the guy who had chatted with me so compassionately in that bar. “You will do the shoot?” I asked.“Who else? Do you want to take my job too?” His words and tone pinched me. I took an involuntary step back.“Ankit, you will also be there, isn’t it?” I inquired weakly.“And so would the producers, directors, designers, jewelers, and support staff. This won’t be a casual photo shoot. Madam, it would be a proper professional shoot,” Pratham interjected. His tone was hurting me. Tears filled my eyes, but his expressions didn’t soften. He pulled out the new contract with the revised amount and placed it on the table. “Make sure you don’t stain it with your tears,” he snapped, and I stared at him horrified. I gulped the lump that was developing in my throat and picked up the pen. My hands were shaking. My eyes fell on the amount, it read 3.5 Lakhs. It was an outstanding amount considering this was my first assignment. A tear streaked down my cheek, but I wiped it before it could have stained the contract.I felt Pratham stiffen next to me. I signed it hurriedly.“Do you want to continue as my assistant?” he asked, much softly this time. I looked up, tears rolling now.“Will you continue shouting at me?” I choked.He exhaled heavily. “I think that’s the only way you want.” I didn’t reply.“You are the best assistant I ever had,” he whispered now.“So, stop torturing me like this,” I was crying now, fully. “I think I have had enough for lifetime by my mother,” and I covered my face with my palms and cried.“You are the weirdest girl I have ever met,” Pratham spoke exasperatedly.“And you are the crappiest boss I could ever have in my life,” I spoke, wiping my nose with my dupatta. He screwed his face at my action.“Yes, I am filthy and middle-class. Do you have any problems?” I demanded angrily.I expected him to retort, but instead, he laughed. “You are crazier than I had thought. And you wonder why I lo-…” he paused abruptly and looked at Ankit.Ankit was just standing there, staring from one to another. He had the most curious expressions on his face. And after a second of realization, he clasped his hands to his mouth. “I didn’t hear anything,” Ankit spoke as he raised his arms in defense. Pratham was glaring at him.“There is nothing to listen. He is crazier than I had anticipated,” I scolded Ankit.Pratham shook his head dejected. “You, I want my schedule like usual. No deviations. And shoot commences next week. Go to a beauty parlor and get a facial and all other things. We want you in your best form.” He ordered and disappeared behind his cabin.I just gaped after him. I wanted to hurl abuses but resisted. Ankit and I started working, but he was not doing anything and was just smirking.“What?” I retorted.“Nothing,” he whistled loudly and got to his work. “What?” His attitude was bothering me.“Pratham likes you!” he was grinning.“I don’t know what…” I started agitated, but he cut me.“It was not a question. I am telling you. Pratham really likes you. I have never seen him do so much for a girl before. Girls literally throw themselves at him. They would do anything –and I mean anything– to get in his good graces, but he has never paid heed to anybody.”“I have seen him kiss Tam and some other models,” I spoke without making any eye contact. I was just drooling over Pratham’s schedule.“No, you have seen Tam and others kiss him. These girls usually do these things. It is their trick. Tam specifically believes that one day her lips will drop some magical essence and Pratham will fall for her and get her a modeling assignment. Little does she know that the magical essence has been dropped by someone else,” and he guffawed. I stared at him horrified.“Is this what you think of me? I am luring him to get a job?” His laughter vanished immediately.“No, I think he got it for you because he fell in love with you. I have been observing changes in him for some time now.” I just shrugged at his words. “Hey, I mean it. Pratham is one of the most genuine guys you will ever meet. He doesn’t flirt, he doesn’t abuse his camera, and as far as I know, he is a virgin.” My jaw dropped at the information. I composed myself and asked, “So are you telling me that Pratham has never flirted or done any ‘usual boy-like’ stuff?”“Well, he used to be a bit of a show-off. I know him for years. He was my senior in school too. And he was a flirt. ‘Was’ Ishana. But he changed in college first-year.”“Flirtation is ingrained in you boys. You don’t change. Those who flirt just hop from one girl to another,” his first words about Pratham being a perfect boy had risen hopes. But… “Something happened in the first year that changed him. He is very different now. When I joined college, I couldn’t believe that he was the same person. But now, with you around, I do see a glimpse of that same happy Pratham.” “The one who flirted?” I demanded with raised eyebrows.“No, the one who used to be happy and smiling. This brooding, arrogant Pratham is not the real him.” “Why are you forcing me?” I felt he was manipulating me.“Not forcing. Just trying to let you know that there is more to him than meets the eye.” “Okay, so what happened to him in his first year,” I asked, dropping all pretenses.“My sister passed, my twin sister.” It was Pratham. Both Ankit and I jumped. We didn’t even realize that he was listening all along. “You consider me a flirt? You think I am here only to use you and abuse you?” he asked solemnly. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say after his words ‘my sister passed!’“You did kiss me,” I muttered, and Ankit almost screamed in shock.“Ishana, remember one thing. A kiss is not always a symbol of lust. If a person loves someone deeply, then kissing her, holding her in his arms, loving her is not lust, it is a sign of affection. But I guess you won’t understand, you have never loved someone truly.” And with this announcement, he just left.  Present Day in Ishana’s HouseIshana paused to see Ravi’s expressions. He was awfully quiet. She had expected him to exclaim, comment or at least react a bit at her words. But he didn’t.“What?” she asked him curiously.“Nothing…” he spoke simply.“Something…?”“Well, it is a commendable thing that you took that modeling assignment in hopes of reuniting with Rakshit and not for fame or money,” he muttered. She smiled at him.“Ravi, almost everything I did in my life was to find Rakshit. But alas, all was in vain,” she sighed, and he reciprocated.“And it is clear that you loved Pratham. And the way you talk about him, you still love him. Even today… Where is he?” he asked curiously.His words pinched Ishana. And a mixture of fury and sadness etched her face.“I knew you would give this reaction, that’s why I wasn’t asking you anything,” Ravi defended.His scared tone made Ishana laugh. She sat back and continued.