chapter 12

An Offer to Run Away FromBack to College – Year 2003: Semester BreakThings progressed at a slow pace after that. I focused on the studies – yes, next semester was yet to start, but I studied nonetheless. And I concentrated on my work. Pratham was happy with my dedication, and so was the dean. He often saw me in the library and was impressed.A few days before the start of the term, the dean called me. “This is Ms. Akshara and her assistant Jay. They run an NGO which enables girls to stand on their feet. I ran into them last week at a fund-raiser. Why don’t you talk to them and see if they can help you?” the dean spoke genuinely. I didn’t like him personally, but he was really trying to help me out. I appreciated the gesture.Owing to the holidays, our cafeteria was closed. We all grabbed a vending machine coffee and occupied a table in the verandah. They both sat opposite me, gawking at my face.It was raining, and the weather was pleasant.“Your dean gave me your details last week itself, so we had a chance to look into your… umm… history,” Ms. Akshara started. The shrewd twinkle in her eyes told me that she was not the woman I should connect with. Also, the word ‘history’ sent jitters to my soul. I folded my hands in my lap and silently prayed that no blasts from the past may come today. “He doesn’t really know what we do or how we operate, but when he heard we enable young girls to stand on their feet, he shared your details,” Ms. Akshara continued.“So,” I started, but she raised her finger to stop me.“We know all about you and your life. We have many resources,” she simpered. “Okay!” I was a bit confused. What did she mean?“Let’s first hear what your questions are… then we will continue,” she smiled and leaned back in her chair, getting comfortable.I started with some basic questions. “Err… what kind of job it is? What is the pay? Timings?” “We provide very special services to our customers. Pay varies from girl-to-girl. And, timings are usually at night.” The word ‘night’ raised goosebumps all over my body. “But sometimes it is during the day too. We adjust as per our girls. If you are unavailable, some other girl will deliver.”“What services?” I was getting nervous by the second.“Based on what you are…” she paused to exchange a very sly look with Jay, “and your history, it is something you should be very comfortable with,” she continued, and I was dumbfounded. Jay had the dirtiest smile on his face.She pushed a large plastic folder towards me. “This should clarify what all we know.” The last folder I had opened was the one that contained The Slut Chronicles notes in it. I dreaded to think what this one held. With shaking hands, I opened it. They say history usually repeats itself, but why did it happen in my case. It indeed was The Slut Chronicles and worse. It also contained pictures. I shuffled through the pictures, some were of Dev and me getting intimate, and I didn’t even remember those moments. They seemed forged. But what came next could never compare to the forgery Dev might have committed. The next set of pictures was of the sex den where Kunal had taken me. I remember feeling that I was being taped, but didn’t know it was true. Someone indeed had recorded that horrific incident. In the first image, he was kissing me hungrily, and his hands were cupped around my breasts. In another one, he was naked and was undoing my pajama. In another one, he was again naked and was lifting my kurta. There were at least ten more pictures, all of the same day. I didn’t look at the rest properly and shoved them back and hugged the folder tight.“Next time, just ensure you are not taped,” she smirked. “What do you want?” Tears of hatred, shock, and embarrassment stained my cheeks. I didn’t feel the need to explain my innocence to them. These people were the devil-incarnate.“We just want to hire you,” she spoke callously.“And what do you want me to do?” I stood up.“Deliver very special services. Believe me, you would be a sensation in our world,” she chirped as she clapped her hands merrily. I must have had the strangest expressions because her face turned sour. “Are you really that dumb?” she asked with raised eyebrows. I didn’t respond, so she continued.“Hmm… How do I explain… Well, have you watched the movie Chandni Bar?” I felt as if someone had frozen my insides. “You will, of course, not dance in cheap bars; instead, you will be a very elite high-end escort who will take care of our richest clients. You will do whatever they want, and however many times they want, and in any way they want. In terms of pay,” she paused to glance at me from top-to-toe, “around 1.5 to 2 lakhs per night. 10% is our cut,” she finished, and I stumbled.“World is a vicious place, Ishana. You delivered it to other boys for free. Why not do it for the money you can only imagine in your dreams? Do you know how much girls slog to earn this kind of money in a year? You will get it in one night…” she stood up casually and smiled at me.“We will train you,” Jay added with a smile. He considered it comforting, but I found it creepy.I wanted to scream. I wanted to roar. I wanted to slap them. I wanted to kill them. I wanted to tell them that I was still a virgin, and all this was a lie. But I didn’t do anything of this sort. Instead, hugging the folder tight, I ran like hell.  I ran in the rain as if there was no end. I wanted to put as much distance I could between them and me. I ran and finally stopped near the benches next to the photography department. The photography department was kind of my second home now, subconsciously I ran towards it.I fell on one of the benches and wailed uncontrollably, the folder lying next to me. And my dupatta, I don’t know where and when, but I had lost it while running. I sobbed and howled as loudly as I could. It was pouring heavily, so my cries were almost inaudible. I had never felt this dirty. Why was all this happening to me? Why?Drenched to my skin, I was crying in my arms when I felt a hand on my head. Scared to death, I looked up and fell to the floor. For a moment I thought it was those pimps, but it was the most comforting face. It was Pratham.I stood up immediately and flung into his arms. I hugged him with all might and wept inconsolably. At first, he didn’t hug me back, but after he recovered from the shock of my sudden action, he raised his arms and embraced me.“Shhhhhh….” he spoke. He was barely audible.“I can’t. I don’t have the strength. I just can’t. I am so tired of this. Why do people treat me as an object for sex?” I asked, pulling myself away from him. I looked him in the eye and asked, “First Dev, then Kunal, then Santosh, and now them. All these people just want to have sex with me and throw me away like a used toy. Why can’t I be treated like a girl?” I fell on his shoulder again. “I know I am an orphan. I know I am all alone in this world, but should I become a prostitute? Should I sell my body for money? Is it the only way for girls like me? Can’t I live a normal life, take my education, and earn a respectable livelihood?” I muttered and cried in his chest. He just stood there rooted to the ground. I don’t know for how long we stood there, but the rain had almost stopped now. Suddenly I realized the gravity of my actions, and I took a step back. We both were wet. I looked down, and my skin was shining out of my drenched kurta. I covered my chest with my hands and looked for my dupatta. Pratham was holding it. I was about to crumble to the floor, crying, when he wrapped it around me and held me in his arms. He was looking into my eyes. He had rage, concern, care, and love in them. He made me sit on the bench and sat on his knees in front of me.“NO!” he spoke in a loud voice. I looked at him startled. “No, you are not alone in this world. You have friends, some you don’t even know about… No, you don’t have to be a prostitute to make a living,” he gritted his teeth at this. “No, you don’t have to sell your body. You are doing a respectable job and will continue doing so till the time you desire for it. You will finish your education and become a fine woman. You will do your dream work. Earn a lot of money. Fall in love with a genuine man. Become his wife. And live your life happily ever after.” He spoke the last three statements looking deep into my eyes. A wave of warmth rushed through me. I wanted to hug him again, but I controlled my emotions this time. My dupatta was already wet and wrinkled with water, so it was barely covering me. He took off his shirt and put it around me. I felt more secure than ever. The moment his hands touched my shoulders, I don’t know what overtook me. I fell on my knees and hid my face in his chest. This time he immediately supported me by enveloping me in his comforting hug.“What happened?” he asked softly. “And don’t say nothing because we both know it is a lie.”I pulled back and looked at the folder. Lying innocently on a bench, it was covered in water, but given it was plastic, sadly the contents of it were safe. He got up and picked it up. I wanted to stop him, but he already was shuffling through the photos. I covered my face with my hands and cried again. Now how would I face him or anybody? Now everyone would know the dirty version of what had happened all those years ago.I heard ripping noise and looked up. Pratham was tearing those photographs. “Why do you have the photographs of getting raped?” his words were full of hatred, and his face was contorted with rage. And he was not questioning me. He didn’t believe them as evidence of sex. He saw the truth behind those photographs. I fell on his knees. The rain had stopped, and I was crying as loudly as I could. He sat next to me on the floor and hugged me again. He let me cry as long as I needed to.I heard footsteps, but I was in no condition to look up. “What happened Ishana?” It was Shiva. I didn’t want to leave Pratham. Somehow his hug was a comfort I had never received in my life. But Shiva pulled me in her own embrace. I hugged her tightly and continued sobbing.“Did someone…” it was Ankit. I looked up, Ankit and Sarv were standing with the weirdest expressions.“We heard your cries. What happened?” Shiva asked, caressing my back. She had the murderous expressions. “Dev? Kunal?” Sarv spoke, picking up the torn photographs. Pratham snatched them from his hands. And collecting all the pieces, he pushed them in the folder.Before anybody could say anything, Shiva announced, “You are shivering. Let’s go home. We’ll talk there…”And after a few minutes, all five of us were in Ankit’s car, and we were heading to our home. Ankit had brought a shirt for Pratham from the department’s closet. I was in no condition to part with his.