chapter 10

TruthSantosh was to pick me up at around 11 am, so at 10 am I left home and went to college. It was a Sunday, and I was sure I could hide there all day long without anyone noticing.However, I was not even in the photography department for ten minutes when I heard someone enter. Scared to death that Santosh had followed me here, I hid in the changing room. But a familiar voice comforted me.“What are you doing here on a Sunday?” It was Pratham, and a huge wave of relief washed over me. I stepped out slowly and looked around. We were alone. Santosh had not found me thankfully.“What are you doing here?” he repeated, as he gave me a piercing look. His eyes then moved to my forehead, and then to my shoulder line, there was nothing there. He relaxed suddenly – did he know?“Both my friends have left for our hometown. I was bored. So, I came here to pass some time,” I made up. He narrowed his eyes, which suggested he knew I was lying but didn’t counter me.“Good. I anyways was looking for someone to try on these. Why don’t you do the honors?” he pointed at a bundle. “I am not trying any undergarments for you,” I snapped. Stone-faced, he opened up the bundle, and it didn’t contain undergarments. Instead, it had the most beautiful lehenga set and jewelry. I didn’t know how to react. I quietly picked it up and moved to the changing room. It was the bridal lehenga. I checked its top; it fitted me perfectly. I dressed in it, wore bangles, and applied light make-up. Ironically, I was becoming the bride I always dreamed of being on the day I was supposed to be secretly married. Somehow it felt ominous.Dressing up like this depressed me even more. I didn’t even bother wearing its chunari. I picked it up along with the jewelry and stepped out.“Which ones you want me to try?” I asked, very curtly. Pratham was staring at me in awe. A part of me didn’t even want to be there, but there was a part of me that was smitten by his gaze. He continued to stare at me for some time, then stepped towards me. I ignored him and kept the chunari down and started matching the jewelry sets. “I think this blue one would go, given this lehenga is of navy color,” I remarked, picking up the stunning necklace. He didn’t even look at the jewelry I was holding. Instead, he picked up the chunari and placed it gently on my head. “Perfect!” he whispered, looking directly into my eyes. He was so close to me that I could feel his warm breath on my face. His gaze held such affection that it had a fierceness in it. I wanted to disappear in his chest. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to cry. I wanted to be his and not… Santosh’s thought snapped me back to reality, and I stepped back and turned around. Tears had filled my eyes, and I didn’t want to display my vulnerability to him.I stood rooted to the ground and waited. Part of me expected him to hug me from behind and provide the solace I so desperately needed. But another part of me was scared. Too scared to be in his presence alone. After a while, he spoke, “These,” and pushed a beautiful, elegant red set towards me. I wondered how they matched but wore them anyway.“Now, sit in the shooting area and wear the jewelry.” Thankfully he used a softer tone, his harsh words or arrogance would have resulted in a catastrophe. Without sparing him a glance, I obeyed. The lehenga was too heavy, so I spread it around me and sat on the floor.‘Should I marry,’ I thought as I placed the necklace around my neck. ‘To a man whom I don’t love,’ I wore the first earring. ‘But he is the only one who had never taken any physical advantage of me,’ I wore the next earring. ‘Was running away a mistake?’ And I wore the maang teeka. ‘What if I missed a chance to be with a genuine man just because of a hunch?’ I put the chunari back on my head. ‘What’s right?’ I sighed and looked up. Pratham had his camera in his hands, and it seemed he was clicking pictures. A tear trickled down my cheek, and he looked up from his camera. He too had vulnerable expressions.“What?” I demanded, wiping my face. He stared at me for a moment and then without any word, he turned on the floodlights. “Now get up,” he barked. I wanted to ask ‘why,’ but I stood up quietly. I had no strength to fight today.“Sit,” he ordered again. I obliged. I sat on a sofa placed behind me. I stared at my hands for the longest minutes. I had kept away my engagement ring. It felt odd when I wore it. Suddenly a hollow hopelessness crept in my heart, and tears started forming again. “Smile,” he ordered from his corner. I faked a smile and looked up. Tears had filled my eyes completely, and the moment I looked up at him, they trickled down my cheeks in a nonstop flow. He was looking at me from his lens, but seeing me cry, he looked up instantly. I wiped my cheeks and gave him my best fake toothy smile. He wanted to say something but didn’t. He bent down to his camera and clicked numerous photos. “Done?” I asked after the hundredth click. He gave me a thumbs up. It was my cue to go back to the changing room and step out of these beautiful clothes, but I couldn’t move.Slowly, he came and sat next to me. He was sitting at a distance that our bodies didn’t touch, but close enough for me to feel the heat of his body. He was tensed and nervous. I knew he wanted to console me, but he didn’t have any words to say.I got up and started to go, but he held my fingers gently.“I feel you have a raging storm inside of you. You should speak your heart before it kills you Ishana,” he was barely audible. His words and tone were very unlike him. I turned to face him to ensure I wasn’t imagining. He stood up and stared in my eyes. His slightest touch felt so sincere and complete. I looked down at our intertwined fingers and pulled mine back. Without any response, I moved to the changing room and came back in my usual attire.“Ishana…” he started as I came out. I looked up, and he had those ‘I am here for you’ kind of expressions on his face. “I know…” I muttered.  Shiva threw a big tantrum at her home and came back the next day. She knew I needed her protection against Santosh.She stayed glued to me for ten days, but Santosh didn’t approach. With every passing day, I was getting worried about my decision. I still wasn’t in love with him, but the prospect of having someone to call as a family was very tempting.However, the eleventh day Sarv came back. And so came a silent storm...He didn’t speak for almost an hour, only paced in the living room. It seemed he was almost terrified to reveal what he had found out. “What happened?” I probed him, yet again.“After your almost marriage,” he started with a stutter. “I was digging about Santosh on the internet. I couldn’t find Santosh, so I started looking for Mihir and other dudes you guys have been naming since this all started,” he paused to take a deep breath. His suspense was killing us, I wanted to shake the truth out of him, but he continued, thankfully, “And yesterday I came across some photos on a site. One of his friends is a big fan of blogging, and he blogged about… Oh, Ishana, this is bad.” Slowly he pulled out an envelope from his bag and Shiva snatched it from his hands. What she saw in there changed her expressions drastically. “I am so sorry for pushing you to meet that bastard,” Shiva choked as tears started streaking her face. “What?” I asked agitated. Their reactions were cryptic. I pulled the photos and looked through them. They were of Mihir, and he was dancing at someone’s wedding. I looked at more pictures, and there he was, my almost-husband, sitting on a horse in his own baraat. Next few were with him on stage with a girl in a pink bridal dress. And then a few of him taking phere and performing other wedding rituals.“He was tricking you, Ishana. His plan was to pretend-marry you and then go away and marry someone else,” Sarv explained. I was speechless. Yes, I was not in love with Santosh, but this was so wrong! I felt betrayed. “He did all this just to have sex with me?” I whispered, though I already knew the answer.“It would appear so,” Shiva cried even harder now. She felt guilty. She promised me to break up with Mihir as well because he was a part of the plan too. But before doing that, she promised me that she would kill him.I didn’t say a word because my mind was already planning a kill of its own. ‘How dare he!’ The sociopath in me was waking up again. And it was hungry for some blood.