CHAPTER THREE

Fog drifted down from the mountains, coloring the morning in a silver haze. Main Street was cloaked in copper leaves. Faint, amber orbs of street lamps broke through low clouds, casting Woodbury in a ghostly sheen.

I walked slowly down Briar Avenue, peeking into the lightless windows of Marty's Mercantile as I passed. It was too early for the shops, but I'd already been up for hours.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Jenny said last night.

I spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, making pros and cons lists. By four, I'd given up on the thought of sleep and tried to work on my submission, but had the same success with that.

An elderly couple was walking leisurely with their collie down Briar. Their fingers were intertwined, swinging delicately as they strolled towards me.

"G'Morning," the man said with a tip of his head.

"Morning," I smiled.

A familiar jingle came from the bell hanging above the door as I unlocked Next Chapter. Mine and Jenny's tea cups were still resting on the counter. I flipped the overhead lights on, blinking against the pale flash. Jenny wouldn't be in for a couple of hours, so I gathered our dishes and stepped down into the kitchenette tucked around the corner from the register.

Fading floral wallpaper lined the matchbox sized room. Its once vibrant yellow, now muted with age. Reminiscent of another life. A single, hand-carved wooden frame hung above the sink. I placed the teacups into the empty basin and leaned in to get a better look at the photograph.

Two young girls, who didn't look older than twelve, hugged each other tightly. Their cheeks squished together. One had long pigtail braids cascading over her shoulders and wore thick tortoise shell glasses. Her eyes were scrunched closed, her smile big and toothy. The other had wild curls floating around her face. She posed with her tongue sticking out. I traced my finger along the glass.

Jenny didn't talk much about her little sister, Josie. Once, while we were restocking the shelves, she mentioned that last she had heard, Josie lived down south with a husband. They had two girls who were grown and out of the house. She never met them.

When I asked what happened all she said was, "Just because you grow up in the same house doesn't mean you become the same people."

Isn't it strange how love can just fade out? One day you're chasing each other around the front yard, hollering over your shoulder "you can't catch me!," and the next you're nothing but a distant memory. Apparitions floating in a frame, frozen in time.

I washed the dishes and left them on the compact metal rack to dry. A few droplets of water had landed on the picture frame. Carefully, I pulled the sleeve of my sweater across the glass, streaking the girls' faces.

The sun still hadn't broken through the haze when I walked back into the main shop. A handful of people were out meandering through the gloom, stopping to admire the scenic strip. One woman was snapping photos on her phone of the large banner that dangled between our building and the craft store across the street. It was promoting the Woodbury Harvest Festival that would be happening in a couple of weeks.

I pulled one of the old barstools out from the kitchenette, plopping myself down behind the register. My journal had dried out overnight, but its pages curled at the edges. I drug my palms across the page a few times to flatten it out. The scent of stale coffee permeated the air. Half of the entry dissolved into itself, leaving black blotches across the center of the page.

"Wonderful," I mumbled.

Maybe if I hadn't been so caught up in other people's business, I wouldn't have ruined the only decent piece of writing I'd gotten down in the last month.

I rolled my eyes.

Still, I couldn't help but think about those few minutes I shared with Nick, Matt, and Chris yesterday. There was something in the way Matt said, "Maybe" about seeing each other again that left my stomach in knots. Not because I had some delusional expectation that we'd fall head over heels in love, or run off into the sunset - though, he was very much my type. It was that subtle tugging you get in your belly when you meet someone for the first time and it feels like you've known each other for years.

And it wasn't just with Matt.

Standing in Last Cup, covered in coffee, talking with three people who should have been the most arrogant, pretentious twenty-year olds in a room full of "normies" - I felt seen.

Shaking the thought away, I dug a pen out of the junk drawer beneath the counter and tried to quiet the voices in my head.

✸

September 15th, 2023 - Black Ink Submission (draft 4, cont'd)

I choose to believe that the universe takes things you love away in order to make room for something better. Though, right now, I don't have either. I guess that's why I seem to be stuck in this constant loop of doubt. Playing and replaying my decisions like a bad movie, thinking that somehow, flipping through each frame will lead me to a better ending.

Somewhere, three thousand miles from where I am, a woman is attempting to dry out in an AA meeting. She's probably crying or cursing out the memory of a daughter she claims abandoned her. And her daughter is probably calling herself by a new name in a town that has no concept of who she was. I imagine she's probably spending her days listening to other people's life stories, feebly attempting to change her own.

Maybe she's even writing this.

✸

Full-bellied laughter came from outside the shop. I turned towards the front door as its bell started to chime. I sat up straight, locking eyes with Nick. His voice ricocheted off the shelves.

"Oh my god!" he exclaimed, his bright eyes widening. "It's you!"

My brows shot up. "It's me." I pushed back the stool.

"Small world," Chris said, following Nick into the store.

"More like a small town," I corrected, making my way around the counter.

Matt was the last one to enter the shop, his demeanor just as muted as it was yesterday.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"What, just because we're YouTubers you don't think we can read?" Nick replied, dramatically propping his hand on his hip.

My cheeks flushed. "I didn't say that."

He let out a throaty laugh and gently tapped my arm. "I'm just playing around. We wanted to explore the town this morning and this was one of the only places open, so we thought we'd pop in. Though I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah, most of the places here don't open until around ten. They figured the tourists would sleep in."

Chris plopped into one of the velvet chairs in the middle of the room. It let out a creak.

"This place is cool," he said, scanning the room. "I take it you don't own it?"

I scoffed. "Yeah, I wish." I walked over to the other armchair and rested my elbows across the top. "The woman who owns it is really sweet. She kind of took me in."

"Took you in?" Matt questioned. He was leaning against the register, his arms crossed. I eyed him intently for a moment before answering.

"Yeah." I held his gaze. Looking at him, I could see that he wasn't nearly as standoffish as I'd initially thought. His azure eyes appeared softer in the gray light of the morning. A strand of hair stuck out from the side of his head like he'd just woken up.

"Jenny has been in Woodbury for decades. Almost every one of the locals has. So, when she saw a twenty-two year old girl wandering down the street with a duffle bag, it wasn't hard to guess that I wasn't from around here."

Matt nodded smally.

"Anyways," I shrugged. "She offered me a job here and a place to stay down the block, so I said yes. Been here ever since."

The brothers all stared at me, intrigued. There were questions forming in their eyes, and I wasn't sure I was prepared to answer them.

I clapped my hands together. "So, what can I help you with?"

The boys glanced at one another. Chris leaned forward in his chair to get a look at the books stacked haphazardly on the metal cart opposite him. "I couldn't tell you the last time I read a book." He plucked one off the top and flipped through it. "There aren't even pictures in this thing," he gawked.

I stared at him in mock disbelief. His brothers shook their heads with a groan.

"Give me that," I said, playfully yanking the copy of Wuthering Heights out of his hand.

"Does the big baby want me to read him a story?" Nick poked out his bottom lip at Chris, who narrowed his eyes in return.

"The children's section is in the back left corner." I pointed to the wall of picture books.

Chris's jaw dropped. "You know, I expect them to make fun of me, but you? I'm hurt." He huffed and followed Nick to the back of the store.

Smiling to myself, I went over to the book cart and grabbed a short stack. Their covers were worn through and fraying at the spine. A comforting, earthy smell wafted up from the pages as I began placing them back in their spots on the bookcase.

Matt came beside me, holding another stack. He smelt of burnt wood and musk. That, mixed with the scent of old books, made my head dizzy. I took a step away.

"So," I placed another cover on the shelf. "What's it like? Being YouTubers?"

His face faltered almost imperceptibly. The muscles in his jaw worked slightly. "It's a lot like what you'd expect. And a lot like you wouldn't."

He trailed me to the next open shelf, handing over one of the books cradled in his arm.

I didn't say anything.

It took a minute, but he said, "We love it. I mean, how many other twenty-year olds do you know that get to buy their parents brand new cars or tell them they never have to work another day in their life if they don't want to?"

I gave him a look that made the corners of his lips twitch.

He kept handing me more books. "That part is great. But, when you amass a following the way we have, it can be overwhelming."

"Like the girl yesterday?"

"Exactly. Don't get me wrong, we're so grateful for our fans, especially since most of them have grown up with us over the last few years, but it can be exhausting always having to -"

"Explain yourself," we said in unison.

He searched my face. It took everything in me to not turn away.

"Yeah, exactly," he said finally. His slender fingers lingered on my hand as he passed over another book. Chills shot up my forearm from his cold rings.

Behind us, Chris and Nick were bickering over who got to read a story.

"You're the biggest baby I know!" Nick yelled.

Breaking the connection first, I pulled my hand back and nodded towards his brothers. "We should probably go check on the kids."

He opened his arm, gesturing for me to go ahead. Rounding the corner, we could make out the tops of Chris and Nick's heads. I stood on my tippy toes, peering over the shoulder-height case.

"Nick, give me the book, damn it." Chris shoved Nick's shoulder, pushing him off balance. The camera in his hand shook.

"Are you serious, idiot? Don't push me while I'm holding the camera!"

I looked over my shoulder at Matt who was blinking plainly at his siblings.

"I take it this is normal?"

"You have no idea." He walked around the shelf to stand behind Chris. "Would you two please grow up?" He stuck both of his arms out, putting distance between the two. "There are a million books in this place. You can both read one."

Nick pointed the camera at Matt. "Would you look at who's calling the shots all of a sudden. This is because of you," he panned the lens over to me and I shot down behind the bookcase.

Chris and Nick bent over in laughter while Matt shoved them disapprovingly.

A faint jingle came from the front of the store.

"Natalia?" Jenny called.

I shot up. "Back here!"

Her dainty frame was covered in a white turtleneck and patchy overalls. Her glasses rested on the bridge of her nose. Hair pulled back in a loose ponytail.

"There you are," she said, taking in the room. "Oh? Hello."

The boys greeted her.

"Jenny, this is Nick, Matt, and Chris," I gestured to each of them. An expression I couldn't quite read flitted across her face.

"Nice to meet you." She raised a brow in my direction. Avoiding her gaze, I turned to face the boys.

"They were just looking around."

They all nodded in unison. "This is a very cute little place you have here," Nick added.

Jenny smiled from ear to ear. "You boys must be in town visiting. Not too often that we get a bunch of cuties like you wandering about."

My eyes almost fell out of my head. Matt's face reddened.

"Oh, stop it," Chris batted his hand at her.

"Do you know Nat?" she asked.

"Kind of," Nick chirped. "We ran into her yesterday at one of the cafes in town. She accidentally spilled her coffee and we helped her clean it up."

The blush seeped from Matt's cheeks into mine. "Yeah, it ruined my submission," I said quietly.

"Submission?" Matt's brows furrowed.

"She's been working on a piece for one of the lit journals in New England," Jenny jumped in. "She's brilliant."

I waved her words away. "Really, it's not that great. And it's nowhere near finished after yesterday's mishap." I squeezed past Jenny towards the register and held up the creased journal.

"I thought you said it wasn't important?" Chris took a step forward.

"Yeah, well, there wasn't much here anyways." I tossed the book down onto the laminate countertop. It landed with a thud.

Jenny sighed, coming beside me. "You've got to stop doubting yourself. Anyone would be lucky to read your work."

Her hand gently squeezed my arm. I looked back at the boys hovering near the end of the counter. Nick motioned to the camera in his hand.

"You think we started our careers without a little doubt?" He shook his head. "You have to at least let yourself be a little delusional if you want to make it in a world like this."

I smiled graciously at him. He was right. They didn't get to where they were today by being coy with their dreams. In order to dream big you had to live big. Even if it was through false confidence.

Jenny moved behind the counter and rested on the stool. "You kids should go around town. Explore a little. I bet they haven't been down to Old Mill yet."

Chris, Matt, and Nick looked between us.

"What's Old Mill?" Nick said.

"Old Mill Lake," I clarified. "It's down past the bend off Canyon Hollow Road."

"We should go!" Nick swatted Matt's arm.

"Really, it's nothing special. Plus, I'm sure you've got a million better things to do than go sit at a rickety dock."

They didn't budge.

"Actually, that sounds perfect," Matt said. "I'll drive."

A tight smile spread across my lips.

The problem wasn't that I didn't want to go with them, it was that I did. I could already see us wandering down the path carved out by generations of teenagers before us, where we'd sit on the edge of the dock, our feet dangling above the water, talking. Getting to know each other. Then, tomorrow, or the day after that, they'd leave. They'd go back to their lives in Boston or wherever it was they planned on going -- and I'd be here. Spending God knows how long wishing I could have stayed in that moment for the rest of my life.

My eyes met Matt's.

"So, it's settled." He looked at all of us. "We're going to the lake.

Author note: Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, please make sure to vote & leave a comment <3