CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Harborough was lively for a Monday morning. Men and women littered the sidewalks holding hot cups of coffee, walking a step too fast for leisure, chatting on their phones, most likely heading to an office where they'll spend the first half their day in staff meetings. A series of school buses ambled down the main drag in front of us, stopping periodically to pick up kids who waited on street corners in their dusty gray pleated skirts, tailored slacks and matching crimson blazers.

I recognized the shade of red immediately and stared absentmindedly at the teenagers who had zero regard for anything happening outside of the conversations they were having. Like the whole world was far less interesting than talking about what happened over the weekend.

The corners of my lips twitched slightly at the thought of being sixteen again and growing up in this town.

"Do you know what you're going to say?" Nick asked from the backseat. The boys had been trying to ease my nerves the last half hour by talking about anything except the fact that we were on our way to my father's. This was the first time since they woke up that one of them mentioned it.

Matt glanced over at me from behind the wheel and my skin prickled. Neither one of us had yet to acknowledge what happened last night and I was telling myself that it was because he knew I had enough on my mind, not because he was regretting any of it.

I adjusted in the passenger seat. "I was thinking, 'Hey, it's me - the daughter you abandoned. Surprise!'"

That got a chuckle out of Chris and a resigned sigh from Nick. Matt tossed me a look that resembled one Jenny would have given me. For a moment I let myself consider what she'd be doing right now. I imagined her sitting in the center of the bookstore, tea in hand, reading The Daily. This afternoon she'd carve out time between shelving the new shipment and reorganizing the back room to finish prepping her booth for the festival this weekend.

I made a mental note to call her later.

"Honestly, I was planning on winging it," I admitted, keeping my gaze trained on a woman walking her dog.

"Maybe the excitement of seeing you after all these years will be all he cares about that he won't ask any of the uncomfortable questions," Chris said.

We turned down Milton Avenue and my stomach sunk to my feet. Matt pulled up to the curb halfway between Mark's and the house before his. We faced each other.

"Do you need a minute?" He asked.

In the driveway a sleek black Jeep Grand Wagoneer and a smaller, sportier car whose make I didn't know but was certain was expensive, were parked perfectly parallel to one another. Unless Mark had multiple cars to himself, someone else was also home. I drew in a breath.

Nick and Chris hunched forward in the backseat. Their faces were a combination of hopeful and worried, but neither of them spoke.

Now or never.

"I think I need to do this alone," I said, looking between the three of them. "But can you wait outside the car for me?"

"Absolutely," Matt said without hesitation. "We're right here if you need us."

Nick squeezed my shoulder and I let out the breath I was holding.

Okay. I can do this. Just get out of the car and walk up there.

I paused outside of the car; the boys flanked me. Having them beside me was more reassuring than I'd expected it to be. For a brief second I felt invincible, like anything could happen and I'd be able to withstand the fallout. It was at that moment I made my way along the manicured lawn and up the front steps.

I looked back at the boys. Nick gave me two thumbs up and I smiled, nodding.

My finger hovered over the doorbell, but before I could give myself a chance to chicken out, I rang it.

A dainty, high-pitched jingle chimed; on the other side of the door I could hear a faint voice shout, "Coming!"

I straightened my sweater and rolled my shoulders back. Okay, okay, okay.

When the door opened it wasn't a man standing in front of me, but a young brunette girl with flushed cheeks and round hazel eyes. With her hair pulled back the resemblance nearly knocked me over. She beamed in the doorway.

"Can I help you?" She smiled.

Mallory.

All of the words died on my tongue. She was even more beautiful in person, and although our eyes weren't the same shade and she was a touch fairer than I was, even an inch or two shorter, the similarities that I'd ignored previously were crystal clear now. I pulled my eyes away from her.

"Uh - um," I stammered, trying to find my confidence again. She leaned against the doorframe. "Is - is Mark here?"

Her brows pinched momentarily, then went back to the same polite look she'd given me initially. "Yeah, one sec." She closed the door to a crack. "Dad!"

The word made me bristle and I felt my nails dig into my palms. The only thing keeping me from turning around and sprinting across the lawn was the fact that I knew the boys were watching.

After a few seconds a man's voice came from inside and a set of footsteps retreated. The door opened again.

My heart stumbled.

"Yes?" My father stood in front of me for the first time in two decades, and there was no recognition on his face. No second-thought realization, only a courteous businessman smile and a diplomatic tone in his deep voice.

A flood of memories I'd long forgotten came snapping back to the forefront of my mind and I squeezed my fists tighter to keep from doubling over. Deep smile lines were carved around his mouth and a tiny knick from shaving spotted his chin. He was exactly as I remembered him, only older and more refined. The man I clung to as a little girl, who twirled me around the room, let me climb on his shoulders like a jungle gym, wasn't nearly as put together as the version of himself that stood before me.

But maybe the version of him that lived on in my head was only what I wanted him to be. Memory wasn't objective.

"Miss?" He said, taking a step towards me. I stumbled back.

"Sorry. Hi," I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my head. "My - my name is Natalia Sullivan."

This time he staggered back, his feet colliding with the metal plate beneath the door frame. It was odd seeing myself in his face, his eyes, as they searched mine for a prolonged moment, sifting through time as if trying to rearrange my features to match the ones he'd last seen. At least he still looked vaguely familiar to me, but I was an adult now. I don't know what pieces of myself I'd held onto over the years that he'd recognize. If any.

I watched as the doubt sagged out of his face. He reached behind him and closed the door, ushering me towards the front steps.

"Natalia," he muttered, placing a warm hand apprehensively on my shoulder. I shrugged him off.

My name sounded foreign in his voice.

"What - what are you doing here? How are you here?" He looked around the front yard and I saw him spot the boys only a few yards away.

"I know it's probably a shock to see me -"

"No! I mean, yes, it's...wow. Oh my God, look at you," he cupped his hands around my cheeks and I let him get a better look at me.

My ears were flaming and I hoped he couldn't sense how nervous I was. When he let go of me, he retreated a step, two.

"It's been..." he started.

"A lifetime," I said, looking at my feet.

"Something like that."

All of the questions I'd spent years ruminating over, hoping to someday have an answer to, evaded me. All I could concentrate on was the fact that I was here, and he was too.

"Um, can I come in?" I nodded towards the door and he tensed like the question jolted him out of a daydream.

He stepped in front of the door. "Oh. Now's not the best time."

"Why not?"

"Well, I'm just about to leave for work, it's a busy day. And our house is just a mess..." He was rambling.

Something moved in my periphery and glanced toward one of the large windows. Mallory was peeking through the curtains.

My jaw clenched. Of course. "They don't know, do they?"

Mark's gaze met where I'd been looking and Mallory quickly dropped the curtain. He looked back at me. His eyes were sad.

"No. They don't."

I'd known they wouldn't, didn't I? I'd practically been banking on it, so, why was I so fucking angry all of a sudden?

"You have to understand," he pleaded, reaching for me. "This is my life now. I never thought I'd see you again."

Something inside me snapped. "And whose fault is that exactly? Which of us had a child then abandoned them to start a new family?"

The venom in my voice was startling even for me, but I didn't take it back. He stood straighter.

"Natalia, that is not what happened."

"Oh, really? What do you call this?" I spread my arms with a flourish.

"I wasn't leaving you," he defended.

I scoffed. "Right. You were leaving my mom. Is that what you tell yourself? That you left Daniela and I was just a casualty? You never called, never came back. And what? I was supposed to just live with that?"

His entire body went rigid when the front door opened.

Mallory poked her head out. "Dad? Everything all right?"

She and I watched each other for a long moment. Mark put on his best face and turned to his daughter. "Yeah, honey, just a client stopping by."

The tears were hot and violent, but I didn't make a sound. I turned on my heel and stormed across the yard. I heard the click of the door behind me and Mark calling my name.

"Natalia! Natalia, please wait!"

Before I knew it I was at the car with someone's arms around me. It only took a second to realize it was Nick.

Mark stopped a good distance away on the grass.

"Hey, hey," Nick said, and I forced myself to pull away from him.

Chris and Matt were flicking their gaze from me to Mark.

I caught the look in Chris's eyes. "Don't," I begged, but he was already barreling across the yard.

"What did you say to her?" Chris growled.

Mark looked confused briefly, trying to figure out who this angry young man was in front of him, and then he laughed.

He actually laughed. I thought Chris was going to hit him.

Matt moved towards his brother. "Chris," he called, "It's not worth it."

Mark didn't appear intimidated, but he opened up space between him and Chris anyway.

Matt stepped in front of Chris, putting a buffer between him and my father.

"What is this?" Mark chided. "Natalia, who are these people?"

I didn't answer him. "Chris, please. Let's go."

Nick had his arm around my shoulder, keeping all of my broken pieces in place.

Chris took a step forward and Matt put his arm out to stop him from moving any further. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are that she even decided to come here? She was willing to give you a chance." His voice was growing louder. I winced.

"You can hide behind your big house, your prestigious career, come home every night to your perfect little family who puts you on a pedestal, but we both know that you will always be a coward in her eyes."

I heard myself gasp. Nick's arm tightened around my shoulder and I leaned into him. Chris hit a nerve with Mark. It was all over his face but he didn't have a response other than, "You need to leave. Now."

None of us had noticed the audience we'd acquired until then. Mallory, Jacob and Angeline all stood in the doorway, huddled together, watching the scene unfold like a bad soap opera.

Moments like these pass in slow motion. Whether it be because there's so much adrenaline coursing through your veins that your brain has to try and keep up by slowing things down, or because you're subconsciously trying to hold onto what's left by working through every detail, I'm not sure.

Whatever the reason, I knew this moment would be committed to memory. Every word, every pathetic look, was being captured frame by frame.

I pushed away from Nick and dragged the back of my hands across my eyes. Mascara smeared along my skin and I knew I looked deranged, but I didn't care. These people were going to say and think whatever they wanted about me regardless of whether or not I made a scene.

I pulled my attention away from the porch and settled on my father's face. "You should go inside. Your family needs you."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi guys! I wanted to get the next chapter out to you as there's going to be a bit of a pause (about a week or two) before the next one since I leave for my residency this coming weekend. If I can get some writing in this week, there may be an update before I leave :) Don't forget to comment & vote! xoxo N