Chapter 19: Do You Want To Make It Up To Me?

Jack was still asleep when I woke up. He lay on his back, his head facing the opposite direction so it was easy to move. I didn't want to wake him. He probably gets as much sleep as I do. I got out of his bed and found my clothes. They were still a bit damp, but they're wearable.

I changed back into them and folded Jack's shirt up and placed it on his bed. He's lucky I didn't just steal another one. Before I left, I walked to his side and leaned over him to kiss his cheek. I took a deep breath and pulled away. He looked peaceful. Like he had nothing to worry about. I hope his life goes back to that again.

Well, it wasn't exactly peaceful.

I made my way down stairs and outside. I looked around and no one was outside. I wasn't even sure what time it was. It still must be pretty early though. I walked inside my house and up to my room quickly. I looked at the time on my bedside table and it was barely seven in the morning.

Good, no one was up yet. My grandparents either leave early or they sleep until they feel like getting up.

As for James, he's never up before ten. Meredith can be up early and sometimes she chooses to sleep in. It's one of the days where everyone was sleeping in. I wish I could've stayed with Jack just a little bit longer. Maybe tonight or tomorrow if my grandparents decide to go on one of their weekend outings and spend the night in a hotel.

I took a quick shower without looking in the mirror. I'm sure I looked like a mess, didn't really want to see it. I picked out my favorite white sundress and slipped it on. I left my hair in its natural curly state and left the bathroom.

I went to pick my laptop up from my desk, but noticed a letter addressed to me on top of it. My heart sped up when I recognized the handwriting. I didn't tear it up like I wanted to, but I didn't open it either. I didn't want to read what he has to say. Not yet, anyway. I should wait and read it in fourteen years and reach out to him then. He wouldn't like that very much.

But I would.

Instead of opening it, I tucked it into my desk drawer and grabbed my laptop. I wasn't ready to read it yet. Maybe I never will be.

I didn't stay on my laptop long. Just long enough to check my schools website for any new information. I should be getting my class schedule in a couple of weeks and I was nervous about which classes I would be getting. But of course, nothing new and exciting.

I closed my laptop and got back out of bed. I walked across the hall to James's room, knocking three times before taking a step back. I heard James groan, probably thinking I'm Meredith. The door swung open and James peeked at me through messy hair, "This is surprising." He pushed his hair out of his eyes, revealing a brilliant, but clouded blue.

"We should do something."

"What?" He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms.

"The only place I've been for the past week is to work and back and I just really want to get out of here." The letter hiding in my desk was going to drive me crazy if it hasn't already.

"What about Lindy? Or even my sister."

I snorted, "Just get dressed and let's go get breakfast."

He eyed be through a sleepy haze and nodded his head, "I'll be a few minutes."

"I'll be waiting downstairs."

My grandparents were still sleeping, which I guess was good. I was afraid my grandma went to check on me last night and I wasn't there. I guess I didn't really think about that...maybe I got lucky and she chose last night to not check on me.

James graced me with his presence a few minutes later. His hair was messy, but it looked good on him. He looked a little more refreshed, but sleep was still visible under his eyes, "I can't believe you woke me up this early."

"It's nine. Not that early."

"It is when you didn't get home until three."

I pushed out my bottom lip playfully, "Cry me a river."

He was fighting a smile, but let it surface anyway, "You're lucky I like you."

I grinned at him and walked outside to his car.

We didn't really know where to go. So we just drive around until we found a good spot for breakfast. It was a small place owned by a local family. I've only been here a couple of times with my grandparents. But the food was good and James liked it too. We talked and ate. I didn't want to bring Jack or my dad up, so I avoided any of those topics. James didn't ask anyway, so I think he knew.

After we ate, we went further into the city. We stopped at a bookstore and I got more books than I should have. I think I have the right to treat myself even though I should probably be saving my money.

Who am I kidding?

"Getting bored yet?" I turned my head over my shoulder to glance at James and back ahead of me so I didn't run into anything.

Soon, he was walking next to me, "Actually, no. It's kind of interesting to watch."

I stopped walking and turned to him, "Interesting?"

"You're kind of like a kid in a candy store."

The stack of books in my arms was getting too much, so I handed them to James, "Then I need more candy."

We went to a few more shops, even ones James wanted to go to. He only wanted to go to a video game store, but I wasn't complaining. I think this is what it would be like if I dragged an older brother everywhere.

Or boyfriend.

Then I started thinking about Jack. How would he act? Would he tolerate my hours on end in a bookstore?

Maybe.

I'd go anywhere Jack wants to go.

The day was slowly coming to end. Mostly because we were getting tired. James more than me though. But it was fun. We laughed and didn't talk about anything that may upset us. I know his parents are a sensitive subject as well, so we avoided anything to do with parental.

We got home mid afternoon and he helped me carry in my books, "Such a gentleman." I fluttered my eyes at me teasingly and he let out a laugh. He walked up to my room and dropped on my bed after putting my bags by my desk.

"Was there a reason you wanted to go out today?" He kept his gaze to the ceiling, a hand on his chest.

"I just didn't want to be home."

He turned his head in my direction, "I'm guessing you read the letter."

My heart dropped, "How'd you know about it?"

"Who do you think he gave it to?"

"He—He gave it to you? He was here?"

James nodded, "He came while you were at work. He waited for your grandparents to go out. I told him that's the only thing I would do. I was going to talk to you when you got home, but I knew you would go to Jack's...I just left it there."

"I didn't read it." I choked.

James didn't look surprised, "He wanted to make sure you weren't here either, if that helps any."

"Not really. He knows I don't want to see him."

Did I feel guilty? No. Did I want to read the letter? Somewhat.

I started thinking about what Jack said about me. That I have a weakness for people that can't help themselves. Maybe Jack's right, or maybe Jack was an exception.

James stood up and walked up to me, "Maybe you should read it and see what he has to say. I don't think he deserves to be forgiven, but maybe try?"

My eyes burned and I had to look away from him, "I'm not ready."

He placed his hands on my shoulders from behind and I closed my eyes, "You'll never be ready, Juliet. And I'm not saying you should force yourself into this. I was there that night and I saw the look on his face when you walked away from him. He meant it."

"How do you know that?" I whispered.

"My dad has never had that look before. You could tell he wanted to run after you, but he stopped himself."

I shook my head, "No. Things have been fine without him. I don't need him now."

James gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze, "I'm not saying you need him. I'm saying I don't think it'll hurt to give him a chance."

I shook my head again and wiggled out of his grasp, "I just can't." I turned around to face him, "I'll read the letter when I'm ready."

James's lips tugged into a sad smile, "I'll be here if you want to talk."

"Thank you."

He sent a nod in my direction and walked out.

I threw myself back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. James did have a point, but I just couldn't bring myself to read the letter, let alone give my dad another chance. No, he didn't deserve it. And I didn't deserve the pain it's probably going to cause.

He could tell me more about my mom.

I'm just not ready for all of this.

I closed out my thoughts and walked into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and swiped the tears away that escaped. I fixed my makeup a little and left my room. I didn't tell James I was leaving. I didn't tell anyone. My grandparents weren't home anyway. And I'm not sure they'll be home tonight.

Jack's house was the only thing on my mind now.

I reached his porch and found the hidden key. I unlocked the door and walked inside. I closed it behind me and locked it back. It was quiet and I haven't heard from him all day. It wasn't odd that I haven't though.

I walked up the familiar steps and down the hallway until I reached his room. I pushed his door open and it finally felt like I could breathe. He lay across his bed on his stomach, a book between his hands. He glanced at me and back to his book, "You left me this morning."

I smiled and walked to the side of his bed where his legs were. I climbed on top of him, resting my chest against his back, "I didn't want to wake you." I folded my arms against the back of his shoulders and rested my chin on my hands.

Jack flipped a page in his book like this was completely normal.

I freed one of my hands and reached over his shoulder to grab the book and throw it across the room. I tucked my face against his neck, "Is someone mad at me?" I teased.

"Why? Do you want to make it up to me?"

"Not really."

I rolled off of his back, but before I could sit up, he attacked me against the bed. He clasped my hands in each of his and raised my hands above my head, "I can still take you. Doesn't matter how much I like you."

I found myself giggling, "I wouldn't put up much of a fight."

"That takes the fun out it." His lips curled into a grin.

"Lindy always did call me a fun sucker."

"She does have a point."

I scoffed, "You're lucky I can't slap you."

Jack leaned in closer, only an inch from my lips, "That's the teasing thing I was telling you about."

"Oh, that makes it better."

He kissed me quick and pulled away. He let go of my hands and sat down next to me. I didn't make any move to mock his actions. I just turned my head a little to face him, "Should we do some last minute studying?"

Jack cocked an eyebrow, "And there's that fun sucking thing Lindy was talking about."

"Ha!" I sat up and folded my legs under myself, "I was just kidding anyway. I didn't come here to work. I'll have enough of that in a few weeks."

Jack's smile returned, "I would have kicked you out if you were serious."

"You were just reading."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Fun reading."

And there's a huge difference.

I got up from Jack's bed and walked up to his bookshelf. I ran my fingers over the spines that have been worn out by reading over and over again. He had more books than I did, that's for sure. But I liked that about him. "What do you want to do after you finish school?" I looked at him to gage his reaction.

He leaned back on his hands while he studied me, "I want to follow my mom's path and be a writer someday."He climbed off of his bed and paced towards me, "Weird, right?"

I shook my head and smiled at him, "Not at all."I looked back to his shelf, "I want to follow my mom too. She was an English Major. Obsessed with Shakespeare, hence my name."

My grandma told me the story of how my name came to be. My mom loved to read and write more than anything. She said that's where I get it from. I couldn't be happier about that. I hope to follow her footsteps when I'm finished with high school. And knowing Jack wants to do basically the same thing makes me like him even more than I already do.

Jack laughed beside me, "We should've been friends a long time ago."

"That would require you to actually talk to me."

"I talked to you."

I snorted, "You haven't said a word to me since I left that school. Even then, you didn't say anything to me."

"A lot's changed."

"It has."I smiled at him and moved away from the bookshelf and to his dresser. There were plenty of pictures on display below his TV that hung against the wall. I picked up one of the pictures. It was Jack and Anna when they were little. "Where are the embarrassing baby pictures?"I sat the picture down and picked another one up.

Still no embarrassing baby pictures. "I guess your mom is hoarding them." I mumbled and sat the picture down. I started to wonder if my dad had any of embarrassing baby pictures of me.

Or if he had any at all.

I know he wasn't the best, but he had to have some, right? I was beginning to rethink that whole thing about him not possibly loving me enough. Maybe he did. I just couldn't see how he loved me, if he gave me up.

Jack's hands reached in front of me, taking the picture from my hand. He sat the picture down and turned me around to face him. "You're crying." He stated, brushing his thumbs under my eyes.

I sniffled and turned away from him to wipe my eyes. I didn't even notice I was crying, "I'm fine." And now realizing I was indeed crying, it wasn't making it any better.

"Juliet." Jack said softly.

I felt him come up behind me again. He wrapped an arm across my shoulders and pulled my back against his chest, "What's wrong?"

I gripped his forearm and fell against him, "Just this stuff with my dad. But I'm fine, don't worry."

"Of course I'm going to worry." He rubbed my arm soothingly, "I can do better than baby pictures. I have home videos."

I laughed and ran a hand under my eyes again. If this was his idea of making me feel better, it was working.

He leaned his head towards my ear and whispered, "There's even one of me in nothing but underwear, cowboy boots, and I light saber."

I started laughing harder, "For your sake, I hope you're kidding."

Jack pulled away from me and I turned around to face him, "Me? Kid? No, I promise you this rare footage exists. Even after I told my mom to burn it."

I covered my mouth to keep from laughing anymore, "I need to see this."

Jack did show me this video I didn't believe existed. And I couldn't stop laughing through out the whole fifteen minutes of it. He had to be at least three or four and that made it even funnier. It did make me forget about how complicated everything was for a few minutes.

Jack in underwear with a light saber.

Hilarious.

I did want to read the letter. I was nervous about it. I didn't know what he had to say. Hopefully nothing bad, but I don't think I had to worry about that. I wanted to wait until tomorrow when I'll be able to read it alone. I didn't tell Jack about the letter yet. I wanted to wait and read it before I spoke about it to anyone, including my grandparents. I don't know how my grandma is going to feel about it. I already know how my grandpa will.

After spending hours watching Jack's home videos, we went up to his room again. I actually appeared in maybe two of the videos from Jack's fifth birthday party. That was when we were kind of friends. Not great friends, but still friends nonetheless.

Jack lent me another shirt, seeing as though he can trust me not to run off with another one. But no promises about that.

We curled under his blankets and huddled together like we have before, "Don't leave without waking me up."He mumbled against the side of my head.

"I don't plan on getting up before you." I replied.

He snuggled closer and exhaled, "Good."

And we fell asleep.

I didn't know what time it was when I heard Jack gasping for air beside me.

———————-

Finally an update! I said they're going to be slowly now sadly because I have summer classes. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea, lol.

The next chapter will be a surprise!!! And I'm sure you can guess why, haha.

Let me know what you guys think? :)

You're all so great and I love you to pieces!