Chapter 8: Can't Miss A Memory

"You have a crush on Jack!" Lindy yelled.

My eyes widened and I shook my head. "Can you, like, not share my business with the neighbors?" I hissed.

She leaned on her hands and grinned at me. "You're not denying it."

I rolled my eyes and got up from her bed. "I'm not claiming it either."

"But you like him..."

I threw my hands in the air. "I don't know..." I trailed off. "If my grandparents knew I was talking to him, let alone kind of like him, they would lock me in my room until I finish college."

Lindy let out a sigh and stood up also. "If you like him, I think you should tell him."

"I don't even think it's like that, Lindy. I don't dislike him anymore."

"So that means you like him." She stated. "If you don't dislike him, then you like him. Makes perfect sense."

"As friends. And after what Michael did, I kind of want to just stay away from guys."

This time she rolled her eyes. "Michael's a grade A douche bag, I don't blame you. But you like Jack differently, I can tell."

I eyed her for a moment; now realizing my best friend has gone full blown crazy. "Jack hasn't exactly been nice to me, either."

She shook her head and placed her hands on my shoulders. "You said it yourself he's actually been nice to you lately. So, I don't see a problem. And you said he apologized..." She dropped a hand from my shoulder and pointed at me. "You're just making excuses!"

I scoffed. "What? No. Did you not forget about him being on house arrest? For being caught up in a murder investigation?"

"If Jack killed someone, he wouldn't even be in his house. He'd be behind bars, Juliet."

"They have to find evidence—"

"Are you saying you want it to be him?"

"Oh, god, no! That's not what I meant, Lindy."

She tilted her head and looked at me through squinted eyes. "What do you have to lose, Juliet? Have fun for once. Date a cute boy. Get caught making out by his parents. Go skinny dipping, anything!"

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised a brow. "Trying to corrupt me, Lindy? After all these years?"

Lindy let out a laugh. "I've been trying to corrupt you since I talked you into swimming at the lake in nothing but our underwear and bras."

"In my defense, it was just us. I would never do that in front of a guy. Let alone Jack McKinnon of all people."

She just laughed and threw her arms around my shoulders. "Even if it's just friends, you should tell him. He could probably use one right about now."

"Thank you." I mumbled and she stepped back.

"Let's go."

We left her house and we were on our way to Jack's instead of my house. My grandparents think I'll be with Lindy all day. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how I like Jack. I do want to be his friend, even after all the tormenting over the years. And the fact he could've murdered someone wasn't really something that put my mind at ease over any of it. I told him he could confide in me, though I'm not sure he will. He did a little last night, but that quickly changed when he noticed whom he was talking to probably.

I got out of Lindy's car after checking if the coast was clear. I ran up to Jack's door, ringing the doorbell as quickly as possible. I took the spare seconds to fix my sundress and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. The hair tucking was a nervous tick, but not making sure my clothes looked okay.

The door barely opened when I rushed inside. "Wow, didn't know you were that excited to see me."

I let go of the breath I had been holding. "Yes, because I'm always so eager to see you." I joked. "We live in the suburbs, surrounded by nosy neighbors. I can't have this get back to my grandparents, remember?"

I followed Jack up the stairs and into his room. "Where are the twins?"

"They went home for a couple of days to see their parents." I turned around to face him. "Why?"

He shrugged, "Just asking."

I turned back to his bed, seeing it scattered with papers and textbooks. "Are my notes actually helping?" I bent over and picked up one of his work sheets. When I straightened back up, I felt Jack's chest lightly against my back.

"Yeah, they are." I felt his breath against my shoulder. He reached over my shoulder and plucked the paper from my hand and took a step back.

I closed my eyes and mentally cursed myself.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I could still smell him like he's still standing behind me. "Good." I forced out.

Jack appeared in front of me and he sat at the head of his bed in front of all his work. He saw the look of terror on my face, "Please don't make me move all of this."

"I wasn't going to." I lied.

I took my shoes off and climbed on his bed the best I could without giving Jack a show. I tucked my legs under me and grabbed the Chemistry textbook. I opened up to the chapter Jack was working on and I felt his stare. I looked up at him, his eyes studying me. "What?"

"Do you miss your parents?" He asked.

The question caught me completely off guard. I don't know why Jack was concerned with the matter or what even made him ask me that question. "I didn't know them," I answered simply.

Jack's expression softened. "You can still miss them."

I shook my head and looked down at the textbook. "You can't miss a memory."

"You can," He said softly.

"Not if you don't want to," I murmured back nervously. "I try not to think about them."

The silence fell between us only for a few seconds.

I looked back up at him and he was still watching me intently. "Why do you ask?"

"You've been through about as much as I have and you're...I don't know..."

"You're self-destructive, I'm not. You want to rebel against your parents for only god knows what. I may not know you that well, but I do know you'll do anything to push people away and that includes your parents." I paused to register his expression. "I didn't push my grandparents away. I let them help me."

"I didn't push you away, did I?"

My breath caught in my throat and I didn't know what to say.

"I have problems, I get that. The difference between you and me is that you actually had help. I didn't. Never did. My parents are never home and when they are home, they stay in their office. They don't care what happens to me. They just don't want me to taint their career."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know—"

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me." He said softly. "I just want to know how you did it and if there's even any hope for me."

I nodded quickly. "There's nothing wrong with you, Jack. Your choices, yes, but not you."

"A choice makes a person."

"Then make different choices."

Jack finally tore his eyes away from mine and ran a hand over his face. He let out a sigh and buried his face in his hands. I went back to the textbook and gave Jack a few moments to gather himself. A few minutes later, he spoke again. "You didn't answer my question." He said.

Confused, I looked up from the book again. "You didn't ask me one."

"About missing your parent's."

"I told you—"

"That wasn't a real answer, Juliet."

I hesitated, but closed the textbook and set it aside. I mulled over the thoughts in my head. Thoughts that I've had before, but haven't thought about in a long time. Thoughts that have been pushed to the back of mind in a dark corner. They're thoughts I've never shared with anyone and now I wanted to tell Jack. I wanted him to know what I was thinking. "I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if my mom was still alive. If her and my dad would still be together. If she would love me as much as I think she would. If I look like her." I smiled a little at the thought.

Jack was interested. "You don't have a picture?"

I nodded. "They're pictures of when she was younger then I am now. I did resemble her a little. My grandma always tells me I have the same sparkle in my eyes and the shape of her mouth. And sometimes the attitude." I laughed a little.

Jack's mouth tipped into a small smile. "She sounds beautiful."

"She was."

Jack complimented me and it took me a minute to realize it. I didn't acknowledge it because I'm sure my cheeks gave it away. The blush crept on my cheeks. "I don't know how your dad could've left you behind."

That comment was enough to bring tears to my eyes. They threatened to spill out, but I wouldn't let them. "He wasn't a good person after my mom died." I didn't want to tell him he abandoned me because I reminded of my mom.

The first tear fell against my cheek and I quickly swiped it away. "I'm happy where I am."

"Really?"

"Can't really imagine being anywhere else."

A light smile touched Jack's lips. "Good."

We went to work after that. The mood was lighter than it ever has been. Jack kept any sarcastic remarks to himself, but he still managed to make me laugh. He wasn't so bad and that didn't help what I was feeling toward him. I want to be friends with Jack, despite who he is and what he's done.

He said he wants to change I just don't know if he wants help doing it.

But I'll be his friend if he needs one and I hope he knows that.

Hours later, I was opening my eyes in a dark room.

I don't even remember falling asleep.

I looked around the room, hoping to spot Jack but he wasn't in here. And I was in his bed, with a blanket thrown over me.

The crack of thunder made me jump out of my skin and almost out of Jack's bed. The rain poured hard against the roof. I threw the blanket off of me and stepped out of bed. I walked to Jack's door, opening it and walking out into the dark hallway. Does he not turn lights on?

I took careful steps down the hall and held on tight to the stair railing so I didn't plummet to my death or a broken leg. The light from the kitchen spilled into the hallway, lighting it up well enough so I could make it to the living room. Jack's long figure stretched the length of the love seat, his legs hanging over the edge because he was too tall for it.

I sat on my knees in front of the love seat where Jack's head was. I folded my arms and leaned against the edge of the cushion. "Jack." I whispered.

He groaned a little but didn't wake up. "Jack." I repeated but in a louder voice.

Jack woke up with the smallest flutter of his eyes. He turned his head slightly to look at me. "You're awake."

"And you're not. So wake up."

He just smiled and turned his head away again. He threw an arm over his eyes and let out a long breath. "What time is it?"

I looked at the clock on the wall, "A little past eight. I have to get home."

Jack removed his arm and looked at me. "It's storming."

"My house is literally eight feet away. I think I can manage." I laughed. "But, I'm starving and there's no ordering pizza in this weather."

"And what do you want me to about it?" He grinned.

"I'm the guest. You have to feed me."

Jack let out a laugh and sat up. He proceeded to stand up. He offered me his hand and pulled me to my feet.

He dropped my hand and I followed him into the kitchen. They had a walk in pantry loaded with every junk food you can imagine. "This is what happens when your parents leave you alone for the week." He mumbled. "Totally not healthy, but it helps when you can't cook to save your life."

"Your parents or grandparents never taught you how to cook?"

"I'm sure they would've if they ever cooked. I was never close with my grandparents."

Tragic.

I placed my hands on Jack's chest and pushed him out of the pantry. I closed the doors and pushed him further into the kitchen. The McKinnon house was at least double the size of ours and the kitchen should have it's own zip code it was so big. Everything in this kitchen was everything compared to what I have just next door. My grandma always liked to stick to her roots and wasn't huge on today's advances.

"What are you doing?" He asked as I went to the fridge.

"Cooking isn't as hard as you think, Jack." I gathered ingredients from all over the kitchen, not sure what I was even making. I just knew it was going to be something simple.

"I need you to boil some water."

He looked at me with the raise of his brow.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a pot after searching all the lower cabinets. I handed it to Jack and gave him directions on what to do. He was so lost, I found it amusing. Even when it came down to just boiling water.

I made him chop vegetables and he made it out without getting a scratch on him. I made him help me fix the chicken while everything else was cooking. And about forty-five minutes later, we had a full meal. It was simple and easy.

We brought our plates to the breakfast table and started eating. "That's actually really good." Jack mumbled through a mouth full of food.

"And it was easy." I commented. "It beats a bag of Doritos."

Jack nodded in agreement. "Definitely."

After we ate, I made him help me clean up. But Jack has been so sheltered and had everything handed to him; he barely knew how to wash a dish. "You are so sad!" I laughed. "Your parents didn't teach you anything." Then I remembered how his parents were never really around and I wish I could take it back.

He didn't seem upset by my comment, instead he took a handful of bubbles and threw them at me. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Jack grinned at me.

I scooped the bubbles from the side of my head and threw them back at him, along with another handful from the sink. "Don't start something you don't plan on finishing, McKinnon." I held another handful of bubbles, and in a flash, I pressed them against the side of his neck.

His mouth dropped opened as he stared at me. "No you didn't."

I nodded, "I did."

He just stared at me and I stared back.

Everything seemed to stop for a moment.

Until I watched his hand dip in the water and instead of bubbles, came a huge splash across the side of my face. "You are so dead!" I screeched, but I couldn't hide my laughter. I grabbed the hose beside the faucet, pointing it directly at his face.

His hands went up in defense. "You wouldn't."

I tilted my head, my finger dangerously close to pressing down on the trigger of the hose. "Want to bet?" I squeezed the hose and water sprayed out soaking Jack. He yelled out something before attacking me.

His arms went around my waist as he pushed me away from the sink, causing me to drop the hose. I let out a loud laugh and I actually heard Jack laughing instead of him getting mad at me.

Jack took a step back with his arm still loosely around my waist. I don't think he even noticed his arm was still wrapped around me. "Told you I would do it." I wiggled my eyebrows.

Jacks light brown hair was drenched like he came in from the rain. His black t-shirt clung to his skin, outlining his torso. He used his free hand to push the hair away from his eyes and then that hand was brushing against my cheek. It was a light touch, but it was enough to send a shock through me. I almost thought he was going to kiss me because of how close he was getting.

He tucked a soaked strand of my hair behind my ear and I could still feel the burn of his fingertips against my cheek. "I need to get home." My voice wouldn't rise above a whisper.

Jack snapped back to reality and took a step back, dropping his arm in the process. "Yeah, sorry." He mumbled.

I walked around him before I could do anything stupid like actually kiss him. How dumb would that be, right? But I wanted to in that moment. I wanted nothing more than to feel how warm his lips were or how soft. But I contained that burning feeling and pushed it away.

He met me by the door and by that time, the rain dwindled down to a drizzle. It was safe to go home. A place where my thoughts will be safe except from myself. "Want to know something funny?" I asked.

Jack leaned against the door frame, a curious look crossing his features. "This should be good."

"We talked a lot about me."

"And?"

"You told me nothing about you." Well, a little.

Jack shrugged. "Is that a problem?"

I hesitated, but shook my head. "I would like to know more about you." I paused. "It's what friends do."

"You don't want to know anything about me." He said softly. "I'm not interesting, I promise you that."

I bit my lower lip and nodded my head. "You're right, not interesting at all." I hope he catches onto my sarcasm. "I'll be asking the questions Thursday. Goodnight, Jack."

He didn't say anything else as I walked away.

It was a weird feeling I had. I wanted to know everything about Jack. I wanted to know what he was thinking about or what he's thought about. It sounds horribly creepy. I just know I probably won't be his friend long enough to find out how his mind works.

And I hate that feeling.

—-

Yay for two updates in a day! Decided the schedule wasn't a good idea because it just didn't even help, hahaha.

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, honestly...

Hope you guys liked this chapter! Let me know what you think? :)

Song: Fly by Sleeping With Sirens (Still obsessed with this album tbh)