Names or Faces

The weather is beautiful at this time in the morning, the dew fresh from the night, the sun barely rising, the chirping of birds heard, and the town barely awake in this summer day. Here I sit, on the patio of the backyard, my mother beside me as we enjoy early morning coffee with one another. As we discuss how my life is about to do a three-sixty with college alone, I have so much I have to tell her. Last night I had asked if she wanted an early morning cup of coffee with me to discuss some issues. Starting off the conversation about college, we are still on the topic, right now talking about my roommate who I will meet in person when I arrive. Mother is in for big news. News that happened three days ago and I've been reflecting off of. For three days my mind has been busy, my eyes unable to rest at night as I can't calm myself down.

Flynn respects that, giving me time as we text here and there, for the most part a sense of me avoiding him has settled in my stomach. Avoiding not because I have made my decision and it's a definite no, but because it's a massive decision. To put your needs before the packs is all tradition warns you about. The strength of the wolf is the pack and vice versa. As children, we are taught that our own dreams and wishes are selfish, that if we head off to college and never return to the pack, we are banished and seen as tainted and selfish. The second you put what is best for you before your pack is when you watch those with strong beliefs in tradition shun you. Thankfully my parents have always been open, teaching me along the way that I can have a life outside the pack. Rogues are seen as negative for the most part, but only those that are banished. A majority of rogues decide to leave not because of a bad relationships to the pack because they wish to see the world, to experience what the humans have done, to see out their ambitions. Change is something you cannot avoid. Our community likes to ignore the rapid change happening all around and because of that, we still hold onto viewpoints that put us behind in developments of ideas. The strongest packs in our Empire are built off of loose traditional views.

"So I have some news," I interrupt the silence as we finish talking about my roommate. My mother nods her head, taking a sip of her coffee as she's intrigued. Little does she know that what she will hear are big words. Setting my cup down on the table, I pull my knees into my body, trying to ind a comfortable position for this uncomfortable topic. "Flynn...he found his mate."

Her eyes go from bright and interested to emotionless. She doesn't know what to expect from what I will say. Running a hand through my hair, a ghost smile passes my face. "I watched him meet her, June, a beautiful woman. She was breathtaking and everything I thought as a perfect girl for Flynn."

My mother nods. "Amory, sometimes the perfect girl is not the perfect match," she inputs, watching as my eyes water and I wipe away the fresh and salty tears.

"He, well, she rejected him first." My mother's eyes widen. "She's in a relationship and in love with a man. Flynn confided in me that some of the words she spoke were that she knew from the way Flynn looked at her that he was in love with someone else."

"That someone else being you," she comments, watching as I nod as my smile spreads. "Sweetie, are you doubting that h-

"He informally proposed to me the day we got back."

I have no filter, letting my mother know the main reason I wanted to sit down with her and have a chat. I watch as she goes from caring and motherly to shocked and speechless. I watch as her mouth is open, unable to form words as her eyes are wide. When I was young father said I knew how to shock people news, I guess this is a perfect paradigm.

"Flynn wants to reject the Alpha title. He plans on doing if before he leaves for university and we both know his father will banish him because of it." I take in a shaky deep breath. "He wants to know if I would be still willing to stand by his side when he's a rogue." To werewolves, this is an informal proposal as well as very early.

Early as in this summer we just started to be part of a beautiful relationship that I see continuing for years to come.

Mom takes my hand, squeezing it as she offers me a soft smile. "Do you love Flynn?"

"I do, I see so much of my life with him, but it's just that he came out of the blue with the informal proposal," I explain. "I don't know whether I'm scared or just still shocked that I have not gone to him and given him an answer. This is not an easy answer, but I know it will truly shape my future. I have feeling and thoughts about what happens if he grows tired of me or I of him, if we end up hating one another. There are so many things I do not know what could happen because we just began this relationship about a month ago."

At a month most middle school couples have split. At a month most lower-class men in secondary school are posting about their one-month anniversary on social media. A month is just a fraction of a year and barely a slice of a lifetime.

But I love him. I love him and pretty much all middle school couples do not mean those words when they tell them to their partner. I love him and I even rejected my mate because I was in love with him.

"What do you want? Do you want to continue your relationship with him or leave it be? You don't have to decide if you want to marry him, but if you see a future with him, set that as the first guideline." I nod. "You two are going to the same college, so that can help your relationship. Say that you want to continue your relationship and you want to be in the boyfriend and girlfriend stage longer just to get a feel for it all before jumping to being his fiancé." I know what she is saying, how I tell him I want to be with him and am willing to be made rogue with him, but I want this phase of our relationship to last longer. Will he understand? He should. He will. He will respect what I say and also know that what I am saying shows that we have a future with one another.

"Thank you," I whisper, my voice weak as those hunter green eyes flash through my mind. "I love him, I love Flynn and I know that he loves me just as much." Mom smiles, pulling me in for a hug as the sun rises a bit more.

"And I can see that you two do love one another," she adds, causing a smile to spread widely across my face. She knows that those words will only bring me joy because they are the truth. The truth I was so blind that I almost didn't get to experience. "Now, sadly I have work to head off to, but while I'm gone, I want you to know that I think you should let Flynn know the recent news."

I agree one hundred percent.

<>

If anything that I found out interesting as I grew up was how my parents raised me. While many times I would visit friends and have conversations with their parents, I always found a certain pressure upon my friend. The parents constantly pressed their child on the topic of a mate or serving the pack for their future. While many of my friends wee signed up for camps to train with warriors or the pack or nursery care for the pups, I spent my summers at camps where artistic crafts and skits were a main focus as well as fun days experiencing nature the way humans saw it. I remember once when I was sixteen, how I watched one of my friends leave the pack for a special warrior training program across the seas, her parents expressing their dreams of how she will one day be a Royal Guard for the Alpha King. I remember my friend confessing to me the night before how she just wanted to be a teacher, living in a busy city.

She never got her dream.

As for me, my parents always taught me that your dreams are just as important, that your voice will not be silenced by the traditional viewpoints in our culture.

I guess my parents made me stronger, strong enough that I now stand where I do, my nerves skyrocketing as I know what I am about to do could be seen as insane. Taking in a shaky deep breath, I hear the footsteps draw closer, the pine scent getting stronger as the sunlight streams in through the massive windows that were specifically placed by extraordinary architects. I know what I am about to do...if words gets out, many could look away from me or walk on the other side of the street. Why? I am about to talk with Alpha Cade.

"Ms. Amory, what do I owe this visit?" He asks, taking a seat at his mahogany desk as my throat runs dry. I know that he shut the door, Flynn on the other side of the door as he watched me go in without aid, facing his father. Many would not dare even think of inviting themselves into the Alpha's office unless with urgent news. I guess I am thankful for that.

"I am here to say that I love your son."

He rolls his eyes. "You are pathetic. The only person I will allow to love my son the way you think you do is the woman who will become this packs next Luna!" His words sting. Sting because he says I should not love his son because I am not fit. "My son is the next Alpha of this pack and I'll be damned the day I see someone of your status in this pack even sleep in the same bed as him." Oh the what he doesn't know. "He does not need your fangirl love. You just want the Luna positio-

"The position of Luna means nothing to me and I would not give a damn if Flynn was an omega. I would still say that I love him."

I know Flynn can hear every word spoken in these four walls. But that doesn't shift how I talk, it only makes me talk louder to claim how much I love him and care for him.

"You're just like every whore, claiming you do not care for being Luna." My jaw clenches.

"I rejected my mate for Flynn and I will be damned the day I look back and think that it was a bad idea," I snap, my wolf infuriated as I want to bang his head upon his desk. "No words that you speak from your filthy mouth can affect the feelings I have for Flynn, the male outside who you do not deserve one bit to call your flesh and blood."

Alpha Cade rises to his feet, his wolf wanting to rip me in two. "You're insane to talk to your Alpha with that tone and words," he growls, the walls shaking. "You should be pissing you pants."

I chuckle. "Please, rejecting my mate was harder than this," I add, my wolf feeling empowered as we talk to the Alpha with such a tone. "After everything you have done to Flynn, how you try and dictate his life, beat him, and even try to tell me how to feel, you deserve no respect from me. You cheat on your mate and make your family suffer as this pack is somehow supposed to look up to you, that is all just a smorgasbord of messed up!" I growl, watching as the Alpha tries so hard not to kill me or banish me. But I know and he knows that the second he banishes me, Flynn will leave to be with me.

Flynn would become rogue to spend his dying days with me as I will do for him. As I will do for him.

"You have no place here," Alpha Cade snaps, taking a seat as he motions for me to leave. He doesn't want me anywhere near him every again.

"No, I do not. I do not have anyplace in a room where a deceiver and miserable man runs a pack blind to how bad their leader is."

"Get out!" He booms. "Leave! You have no place to say anything."

I hold my head high. "You're right. But guess what, Alpha," I announce, heading for the door of the office. Smiling, I tilt my head to the side. "When Flynn and I are sending out of wedding invitations, we will make sure that your name is not included whatsoever."

With that, I leave, knowing my answer to Flynn's proposal as well as knowing that the big bad wolf can be out in his place. After all, I did this more than for just me, more than for just Flynn, but for our relationship. Our relationship that I am ready to watch blossom into something magical.