chapter 42

" That's a cool shot!"I said looking at the small screen on the video camera. " I know." He says pinching a piece of of my cotton candy. " It turned out good from that angle."We took a break and sat at the lounge area of the arcade. This was where I first found out about Yoongi's job. This is where I believe I started to know him a little deeper." Yoongi. Are you going to work at the pizza shop today..." I started, munching a strand out of my cotton candy. " Or your going to be a cute mascot here at the arcade tonight?"" Pizza shop." He says flatly, scrolling through the other clips we had made. " Oh, you deleted the past clips!?"" Aniyo! I saved it on my computer so that we can make more scenes.""Oh!" He nods agreeing at me. " When are we going to finish taping?" His words made me stopped eating. What does he mean? He wants to finish this as soon as possible. His mere words made me feel like something had struck in my throat and I'm just not able to swallow it. I felt hurt." Wae?" I said, feeling the urge to hold my breath. " Don't you like it when we film? Isn't it fun!?"" It's just that I have other stuffs to do." He worriedly says, glancing up at me." Like what?" I ask, meeting his eyes. But as soon as I looked at him, he looked away." Nothing." He says flatly, his eyes turning back to the screen." Why do you still keep things away from me?" I bursted out, unable to hold myself back anymore. " Don't you trust me? You said that I'm your friend for god's sake!" " Why do you feel like I need to tell you everything?" He spat, closing the video camera shut. " You're my friend, not my parent."" Do you even tell your parents anything?" I say, an urge to cry in my voice. " You're so enclosed, you're so... protected by your own shell. How could I help you if-"" I never asked for your help!" He stands up, tossing the video camera on the couch. " I didn't ask you for anything. So it's not my fault of I don't give a shit."He stormed out of the arcade, marching his feet. It felt too hot for me to speak, nor too call back for him. I couldn't follow him, I couldn't try to make him stay. I felt as if my body was dipped in cement, frozen into a stone.What I feel inside was worse. I didn't know that I didn't mean anything to him. I didn't know that he treated me as someone who can just distract him from whatever he's going through.This is my fault. I wanted to know him more, but he wasn't ready. I should respect that. I really should, but to find out that I never mattered to him... That he won't even care of I stop seeing him. We're friends just because I was the one putting in the effort. I couldn't. It's a lot to take.I watch him go out of the arcade. The glance I saw was him clenching his fists onto his sides, his eyebrows furrowing emphasising his glaring black eyes. Once he is completely out of my sight, a waterfall of tears suddenly rushed out of my eyes without me even realising.Why do I like him so much?                                   ♡♡♡It wa already late when I left the arcade. If the security guard didn't make me go home because they were closing, I wouldn't not have gone back home.I couldn't move my feet properly. I felt numb. It seemed like Yoongi's words had paralyzed me. Is it what it feels like to be hurt?I tried my best to walk at the sidewalk. People are still very awake at this time of day in down town. I just want to go home. I want to lay down, and sleep. Because maybe if I wake up tomorrow, I'd feel better.It's been a few hours but he didn't seem to leave my mind. Every inch of my brain have Yoongi smudged on it. He is making me go crazy. Is this how a drug addict feel whenever they are withdrawing?Am I addicted to him?Suddenly, a bright blue and red light came rushing across the street. My eyes were too blurry for me to see what it was, and to be honest, I couldn't care less for what it was.I continued to walk, until I reached people clamoring around something. And that's when I realised that the red and blue lights were from a police car, and it parked right infront of the crowd." Move! Give us space!" A police man commanded, pushing the people to the side. My curiosity skyrocketed , and I felt as if something heavy was pressed into my chest for some reason. Something made me want to see what they're looking at, and I didn't realise that I was getting lured into it.I squeezed my way in through people, like a needle going through places and strands of a cloth. But as I reached in the middle, I felt like everything came crashing down to me. I didn't knew that I could possibly feel much worse than I already was. My body felt completely dead. My knees gave up and I dropped down on the ground. I felt like I was swallowed down into the pit of darkness , and there was no coming back. It was someone lying on the floor consciously , pool of blood forming beside him right next to a scratched and bent motorcycle.But it wasn't just someone.It was no one but...Yoongi.                                   ♡♡♡