Chapter 131
The Carrero Heart - Beginning (Friends to Lovers)
Arrick slides down from his position behind me at the couch and slumps on the floor, using it as a back rest as I flop sideways and stretch out on the full length of the sofa, feeling his head and hair nearby and pushing my fingers into the spiky hair on top. He leans into my hand and sighs heavily, both of us equally worn out and breathless. Neither of us have a stitch of clothing on, yet my body heat is through the roof and generally feel like I could sleep. Heart pounding from exertion and every single part of my skin and inner body is tingling all over.
âJesus baby⦠My little porn star. Who knew I would find a girl who matched my stamina? I almost bailed because I thought I was going to have a heart attack mid-way through. Now thatâ¦. Was worth missing you for a week!â He turns and hits me with a boyish smile, catching my eye from his angle as I can only try and regain my breath, calm my racing pulse and seriously luxuriate in the marathon of positions he introduced me to.
It wasnât like any other time heâs made love to me; this time was all sex. Primal, unleashed, pushed by having been apart, and the first time I can tell that he has really let go and showed me what heâs got. I was right about the unbridled passionate side to him; heâs a demon when he lets go and my body hasnât an inch left that didnât meet some part of his. I didnât know sex in acrobatic positions could feel so good and found my favorite is when he gets behind me and we both stay upright.
Somehow intimate yet also so goooood!
He has left my skin pink and sizzling and taught me a thing or two in the last two hours. It only makes me love him more now, seeing that every other time has been gentle and controlled and has been fully aware of my every noise and mood throughout. This time he gave his all, like I was any other girl with no seedy past or fragile scars to worry about. I needed him to be that way, more than I knew I did.
I giggle at him, running my fingers through that sandy, sexy as sin hair style, all short back and sides but long enough on top to grab onto, which I did, several times. Heâs a lot less scratched up since I had my nails rounded out, but he still bears my marks on various places of that tanned body.
âYou have been holding back on me.â I tug his hair and he gets up, sliding on top of me on the couch and nestling comfortably into my body, propping his elbow at either side of my chest so he can rest his chin on his hands over me, eyes skimming my breasts.
âI havenât wanted to scare you. Didnât want a repeat of the first time we ever tried. Finally figuring out what triggers your reactions means I can relax a little. I can read you better than you think sometimes.
Learning the little tells that I never used to notice when it comes to this.â He leans down and plants a kiss on my left breast with a cheeky smile. His touch can still make me burn, even if he did just satisfy me in all kinds of ways. Our bodies fit so perfectly together.
âI trust you⦠I know that no matter what, I can always stop you⦠That no means something.â I glance away, sudden emotion catching my throat when on this topic and gaze at the wall of books and memorabilia I have been filling my shelves with lately. A mini fluffy Unicorn Arrick brought home for me is sitting on the coffee table watching us.
âTell me how your week was.â Arrick changes the subject, sensing my uneasiness and I turn back to him with an adoring smile. His eyes trained on my face, committing me to memory and looking at me as though I am the most perfect girl he has ever laid eyes on. My heart does that gooey melt thing that he causes, and I sigh back at him, with complete devotion.
âYou know how my week was, you text and called me endlessly.â I giggle, pulling his face forward with two flat palms and strain up to kiss him on the mouth. Meeting those soft lips perfectly.
âYou know maybe I missed something.â He kisses me again before I flop back down and stare up at him lazily.
âMe⦠You missed me.â I point out with a grin, poking him in the cheek playfully and then tracing that strong jawline tenderly.
âI did.â He nods in all seriousness, grinning at me again and I sigh and trace that seductive mouth with my fingertips. I love his smile, I always have. All perfect Hollywood white teeth and manly kissable lips.
He has the kind of mouth that makes you want to kiss him.
I love that he always seems to be smiling nowadays, itâs one thing I missed a lot in the past couple of years, when he seemed to get more and more emotionally cool and serious. Like he was maturing and losing the fun boyish part of him that has made a comeback.
âI barely noticed you werenât here.â I raise a brow with a dead pan tone, smirking at him as his grins stays put, all sexy dimples and flawless lines. Not convinced at all.
âThat explains the constant little insecure âOhhh, I need you home. I miss you Arrrryyyâ, texts.â He mimics my girly voice and clutches his heart dramatically. I slap his shoulder and shove him, but he barely moves, catching my fingers and pins my hand to the couch.
âThey were for my other boyfriend, I just mistyped your number.â I screw up my face, at him, and he mimics me looking crazily cute. Annoyingly childish at times, but in a way that I go weak for.
âBetter up my game then, make sure you ditch the other one and devote all your attention to me.â He nudges me with his groin and I am shocked that my lady parts actually react with a âyes pleaseâ
moment of their own accord.
I think I have an addiction.
âHe is a hard act to follow, I might not really be that into you.â I squeal when he moves up fast, his mouth nibbling my neck and holding me down mercilessly. His body crushing me to the couch deliberately, so I can barely move, and I wiggle to get him off.
âWell we both know I am the only one making you cum several times a day. Besides, your other boyfriend is gay, he can stick with your love of clothes and shoes and breaking your credit card. I will stick to satisfying the parts of you that need a straight guy.â Arrick lifts his chin and grazes his mouth against mine, relieving the pressure of his weight from me once more.
âI do love Christian.â I giggle at him as he rolls his eyes, mocking my favorite gesture, or stealing it. Not sure which.
âI kinda figured you did. Especially as he keeps texting me to try and wind me up about what heâs getting up to with you in my absence.â Arrick lifts his brows and smiles as I instantly blanche.
âWhat? When?â I giggle, surprised, knowing fine well Christian would do something like that to wind Arrick up. Lately they have become good friends; he talks to him a lot when we are out as a group, I know they text and call each other too, and they even went on a guy night out with Nathan not too long ago and met Christianâs elusive man for pool and beer.
âLikes to keep me on my toes and remind me youâre within his grasp if he just switches up his sexuality.â He raises a brow, completely unbothered by any Christian threats.
âHeâs so naughty. Iâll have to punish him for that sort of behavior.â I laugh a little more, enamored with how funny my friend is. Arrick shakes his head at me, looking serious so suddenly.
âDonât. I like that you finally found friends you let in, Sophs, instead of just hanging with me and mine.
You learned to trust people outside of the family, finally let other people matter to you. I like both, a lot.
You finally met people worthy of you, and knowing they are there for you when Iâm gone is all that kept me sane this past week.â He rolls me to my side and then nestles beside me to face him, tucking my hair behind my ear and coming nose to nose with me.
âYou, obviously, are not the jealous type.â I point out, something I have always known. I often wondered how two brothers could be so completely different when it came to this sort of stuff. Jake is a green-
eyed demon who literally jumps on any guy who looks Emmaâs way. Even gay ones. Arry only seems to get pissed if men cross the line and try to go beyond showing an interest in me.
âNot generally, I do have my moments with you though. Guess I am not insecure, never really have been. I donât feel threatened by other men, baby, never known what itâs like to feel that way, because I know youâre all mine. I know you would never do anything to hurt me in that way. Trust is a two-way thing.â He shrugs at me, completely open and for a second Iâm slapped with that pang of guilt. Knowing fine well that when it comes to Natasha I donât know how to feel. I know I trust him, yet at the same time I canât get past her. Canât ever get that niggling horrible black dot from inside of me where she is concerned and listening to him now it just makes me feel shitty as a person.
He canât understand insecurity or jealousy, because heâs never experienced them, I guess. Heâs never had his heart broken or found a girl cheating on him in anyway. Never been dumped either. He has nothing to really ignite that kind of insecurity from his past. It kind of explains his intolerance to the green-eyed monster if he canât empathize in anyway. He doesnât understand it.
âDid Nate tell you I called him?â I bite on my lip, changing the subject quickly to deflect how uncomfortable it makes me feel. Watching the tiny almost non-existent flecks of green in his eyes, wondering where they go when they are like this; fully chilled out and completely content. Itâs the only time his eyes are ever truly hazel.
âHe did⦠Told me feisty lil Sophabelle gave him an earful.â He laughs, always offering encouragement for my sassy side. I think he likes it a lot more than he lets on and is not one to ever tell me off for being petulant.
âAnd?â I nudge him impatiently. I want to know what he said after my call, what he feels about my girl.
âAnd heâs Nate⦠He doesnât talk about his feelings very much, even to me. I know that he is acting weird around the whole Jenny thing to be honest. I think he feels something for her but heâs unable to go down that route.â I watch his eyes for any hint of evasiveness and see none.
âSo heâs another Daniel Hunter, or a Jake, or even you a few years ago? Another man with cold feet, who shits a brick when real feelings come along.â I frown at him and get nothing but a smile in return.
âOh, the jaded heart of a bruised girlâ¦. Donât I get brownie points for manning up in the end?â He leans in so our faces are touching, leaning against me adorably, obviously trying to get away from the topic of Nate.
âNo. You took way too long to do it and made me more jaded in the process.â I push my nose against his and then back off to scowl at him in jest.
âI know, baby⦠Nateâs, just, Nateâ¦. He acts like an ass, does stupid shit then takes a while to process things. Itâs why we get along, weâre too alike. All week all heâs done is knock back women, I think his head is on the girl he left crying in a cab and itâs making him feel messed up.â He shrugs, clearly not that interested in delving into his best friendâs emotional psyche, if it doesnât directly affect him.
âKnock women back? So, you two, when youâre out there living up the fighter life, really are having randy girls throwing panties and phone numbers at you?â I eye him suspiciously and catch that tiny glimmer of wicked, my heart torn between really feeling insecure about the fact this happens, and knowing he wouldnât go there behind my back. That slight insecure me, who wonders that he might if someone better came along.
Someone without my temper or my insecurities, or my scars.
âThey donât get near me, thatâs what Nate is for. I have security and an entourage like a proper little diva. So, you can rest that pretty little head, knowing that Nate fields off horny women, hence why he gets all the offers. My eyes are only for you, always for you and this right here.â He pulls me in tight, angling to dodge my nose and plants a kiss on the corner of my mouth. Smiling at me as he does so and winning me around effortlessly.
âIt better stay that way, or else I will cut it off.â I scowl harder, only half joking as he slides his arms around me firmly. Heart a little fragile with subjects like this, after years of men who thought nothing of betraying me.
âDuly noted.â He kisses me softly, more intensely this time and that twinkle of âI will never hurt youâ in that smooth beautiful face.
âHe really has been knocking girls back, all week? What about that girl from the bar he brought home?â
I am now fully dissecting Arryâs expression, knowing he might not tell me anything if Nathan has asked him not to. Trying not to get distracted with the little kissing touches he has trailing down my neck.
âHe told me he regretted drunk banging that chick and he didnât know why.â He mumbles from my throat, more interested in what heâs doing than what heâs talking about now. I close my eyes and surrender to the sensation, but my mind wonât be swayed that easily.
âMeaning?â I blink at him as soon as he stops, sighing because he knows I wonât let up, sitting myself up a little to prop my head on my hand as Arrick traces my collar bone softly, so close to my face.
âMeaningâ¦. Heâs probably more into Jenny than he can admit and ditching her has made him realize it.
Give him time, Sophie, heâs not really someone who ever followed his heart with just one girl. Iâve never seen him turn down sex in the whole time we have been friends, so maybe, who knows. He may actually surprise you yet.â Arrick is way too cool and lenient for someone whose best friend is a heart shredding, man whore. One who deserves castration.
âHmmmm⦠Who says he even deserves her after how he ended things. That was an asshole move.â I sulk petulantly, watching that set of eyes trace my neck and shoulders as his fingers do, his touch caressing me into tingles.
âI told him thatâ¦. I gave him a tough time, trust me.â Arrick seems to realize his attempts at placating me with sexy moves isnât working and comes to rest in the throw pillows beside me; instead of tracking my skin, he curls up with me, pulling me down with him to snuggle.
âWhy are men such assholes? I surrender to him wholly with zero resistance.
âHey!.â Arrick prods me and I only bat his hand away with a giggle.
âEven you have been known to have asshole qualities, definitely not as perfect as I like to think you are. Especially when youâre drunk. I donât think I like you drunk.â I raise a brow. I have been pondering bringing this subject up the whole time he was away, not sure if I am over reacting but still. We suck as a couple when we are alcohol fueled.
âI can be okay drunk; weâve just had a couple of rough sessions ⦠I promise I will cut down next time we go anywhere and not be an asshole. You definitely become an emotional wreck when you drink, I can see why it escalated everything in the pastâ¦Maybe we should both go easy at our next social outing; tipsy sex is as good as drunk sex.â He smiles at me, eyes on my mouth once more and I know heâs already thinking about how quickly he can recover, even from two-hour sex sessions. I wouldnât say no, but I can tell heâs not going to push it any further, still that part of him that is being cautious with me.
âAgreed. I hate fighting with you.â I sigh and nestle in against his throat snugly, loving how even naked he feels inviting and safe. Nothing wrong, nothing making me feel shameful about this at all.
âMe too. Especially when we could be doing way more satisfying things.â He wraps his legs around mine tightly and bodily squeezes me until I half giggle, half cough with the effort to breathe and push him away with a grunt. Arrick untangles us with a kiss on my eyebrow and a smile that signals heâs getting up.
âWe should get dressed, get up and eat. I want to take you to my apartment to sleep tonight, I have to sign some papers Jakes sending over and thereâs something I need to deal with.â He sighs and then yawns, clearly now suffering from delayed jet lag and over exertion and itâs all starting to catch up on him. I glance up and catch that tiny flicker on his face, something heâs not telling me, an evasive look and my heart sinks.
âWhat do you need to deal with?â I push his stomach with my palm as though to urge a response. He sighs and gets up, leaning over me as he climbs off the couch and plants a kiss on my head, getting up, he walks around picking up his discarded clothes, turning his back on me.
âIâm paying for Tashaâs dadâs med bills; his insurance fell through and I felt like it was the least I could do. She text me the number and I need to call the treatment facility.â He carries on picking up our clothes, pulling his own on and keeping himself turned away because I know he is trying to play this off as nothing. Stop an ensuing fight.
âSo sheâs still texting and calling you then?â the heavy thud hits me in the chest and almost winds me;
He hasnât mentioned her calls or texts at all since that night. All week he has kept her out of our conversations. He stiffens, body language moving to the defensive and I try like crazy to control every single tiny thing going off inside me. Hating that one little word from him, concerning her, makes me feel this sick and stupid. Blood running cold and heart erupting in a flurry of anxiety.
âSometimes.â He sounds evasive and for the first time ever, I feel like heâs lying to me. I donât know why but I get an odd sensation from one little word that I cannot quite place. It makes me want to cry but I push it down hard.
âAbout her dad orâ¦...?â I pause, not sure I really want to know what she talks to him about anymore.
Hating myself for the flood of pain and insecurity that overtakes me in this moment. Arrick sighs and looks over his shoulder at me.
âShe knows Iâm with you. She avoids mentioning it. Just her dad, basic stuff, like how sheâs getting onâ¦. Pleasantries. Nothing that means anything.â His voice is tighter, although I can tell heâs trying not to let this turn into something, and I hate that I am making it something. I turn away swallowing down the wave of emotion and try to plaster on indifference.
Something touches my arm and I turn to see him holding my clothes out to me. I take them and avoid looking at him, getting up and start unravelling the bundle to find my underwear. I turn away from him to fasten my bra and hide the single tear that fills my eye. Blinking it away fast and despising my insecure idiot self. Hating that I can tell myself a million times that she means nothing and then it all goes to shit so easily. I know that the weird vibe I got is why itâs escalated to tears and I know his sudden need to be cool and distant is because heâs picking up on the jealousy vibe. Still an issue to both of us then.
âIâll go sort us out food, take your time.â Arrick sounds closed up and moves away. I guess heâs already dressed and continue focusing on getting dressed slowly and silently. Hating that without fighting, it feels like we are and heâs suddenly so very far away from me. Arrick sighs dramatically.
âI love you, Sophie. Iâm not going to fuck that up. You need to let this go, give her time to move on by herself.â Heâs pleading, my heart shredding that he really has no concept to how this feels. Why he canât understand why I would have insecurities about her. I donât respond, just look at what I am doing and keep doing it.
In his head, as understanding and perceptive as he can be, I guess he figures confessing heâs always loved me means it takes it all away. That showing me he loves me daily means I shouldnât have any reason to be jealous. For someone clearly so smart, sometimes heâs such a dumb ass.