Chapter 32

The bouquet, which consisted of various colorful flowers, was secured in one of Alyssa's palms as she stood in the door opening. She looked shocked, tongue-tied and sad altogether. Carter could very clearly understand why she was shocked and sad to see Josh like this, but he had never seen her appear speechless before. She awkwardly stood there, wanting to say something but apparently she was lost for words.

"...I heard that you were in the hospital. My parents told me after I came back from Sasha's," Alyssa spoke hesitatingly. "I came over as fast as I could."

Josh sat up a little more and looked back at the girl. This was the first time he saw her since the Christmas dance. "Yeah..." he breathed out, nodding his head ever so slightly. He inhaled deeply before turning to Carter and his friends. "Hey, could you guys give us a moment alone?" he asked.

Carter glanced from Alyssa back to Josh before giving an understanding nod and walked out of the room along with Chris, Paxton and Melanie.

Josh watched as they walked out of the room and once they were, he looked back at Alyssa. "I didn't think you'd come," he said. "Though I shouldn't be surprised."

"Of course I came," Alyssa said, walking closer to the bed Josh was lying in. "Just because I'm angry doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore."

Josh flashed her a sad smile and his eyes traveled down to the bouquet she was holding. "You didn't have to buy me that. After everything I've done, I don't think I deserve to be given flowers."

"Just because you used me doesn't mean that you deserve to be beaten up, Josh," Alyssa spoke. "And especially not for being..."

"Gay?" Josh asked when she didn't finish her sentence.

"Yeah." Alyssa swallowed, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting the bouquet of flowers on the side table. "What happened exactly?"

Josh looked away and took a deep breath in. "Well, when I got home after having spent the night with Carter, my father acted all strange before suddenly started yelling at me. He called me a fag, a disgrace, a... fucking sinner... and he started to beat me with a frying pan which was still on the stove. He threw another pan at me before I escaped to the living room. My entire body hurt, I was so dizzy I fell over," Josh pushed the hair back that fell over the bandages wrapped around his forehead. "He started beating me again as soon as I had fallen to the ground, and I gave up on trying to escape. And... right at that moment, Carter showed up. I don't know where he came from, nor how he got in, but he showed up with a knife in his hand and pushed my dad aside. Everything was so vague after that. I just remember waking up in this hospital after that."

"Sounds like Carter saved your life," Alyssa said.

"Don't be ridiculous," Josh said. "My father wouldn't have killed me."

"Maybe not if he was sober. But was he?"

Josh looked back up at Alyssa. No, his father wasn't sober. Josh could tell from the minute he got home and saw numerous of empty beer and vodka bottles on the coffee table. One vodka bottle was still half-full.

"Look, it doesn't matter anymore. The others said the exact same thing but there's no point in arguing about that now."

"That may be so, but I think this is enough proof for you to know that you need to stay away from your father," Alyssa said. "Not just for your own sake, but for Carter's as well. Things won't go back to how they were now that he knows about you two. I hope you do realize that if we don't do something, the next person ending up in this hospital might be Carter."

Josh swallowed and averted his eyes. He shifted a little in his bed and Alyssa glanced at the bandage on his hand that showed where the infusion had been inserted into his body

The door was then opened, and a nurse came in, followed by Carter, Chris, Paxton and Melanie.

"Visitor's hour has ended, I'm afraid. You can all come back tomorrow but for now, the patient needs to rest," the nurse said.

Alyssa got off the bed and looked back at her friends. Carter gave her a weak smile before looking back at Josh. He walked up to him and leaned down to give him a kiss on his lips.

"I'll come back again tomorrow," he said. He gave Josh a last glance before walking out of the hospital room and into the hallway. He felt depressed over the entire situation and just wished that Josh was going to heal soon and that then everything would be fine again. But it wouldn't. Not like this.

Alyssa was quick to catch up to him. "Carter, hold up," she said.

Carter turned around when he heard her voice and slowed down his pace when the blonde came to walk next to him. "Hey," he said. "Thank you for showing up. Josh needed that."

"Why does everyone think I'm some kind of bitch that stops caring about people as soon a I'm angry?" Alyssa said in a frustrated tone.

"Well, you completely broke off your friendship with Lisa Shulman just because she started going out with someone you both had a crush on," Paxton huffed, who was walking right behind them.

"That was two years ago!"

Carter let out a chuckle as he walked. It was nice to know that Alyssa still wanted to be with them. Yet as happy as he was about that fact, he couldn't help but feel bad about Josh. There was an immense feeling of guilt, thinking that he was now in that hospital bed because of him. Because Carter had returned. It made him wonder what state Josh would be in right now if Carter had never moved back.

"Hey, Alyssa?" he asked. "Do you have a moment to talk?"

+++

The food that was sold at a hospital cafeteria was never good, but it was edible. Carter had his hands wrapped around a paper cup filled with tea, and a plate with a sandwich placed next to it. Alyssa had a bowl of soup placed in front of her and every once in awhile took a sip of it.

"It's my fault that Josh is in here right now," Carter said to break the silence.

"No it's not," Alyssa said. "You know that very well so stop saying nonsense like that."

"But if I never had moved back, Josh wouldn't have been in here right now."

"Did you try to beat him up with a frying pan, then?" Alyssa asked. "No you didn't. The only thing you did was falling in love with him. That doesn't cause people to end up in a hospital." She dropped her spoon back into the bowl of soup and looked at her friend. "If you hadn't returned to Port Hayland, Josh still be lying about himself, and he still would have been miserable."

"So you're saying he's not miserable right now?" Carter said, looking back at Alyssa. He knew that he didn't directly put Josh into the hospital, but he couldn't help but feel like his return only caused Josh pain. Both physical and mentally.

"Carter, there is no use in sitting here, blaming yourself for everything. So stop that."

Carter bit his lip, staring down at his tea and contemplating on what to do. There was nothing he could do, he knew that very well. At least, not to stop Josh's pain. He had lost his mother years ago, and now he has also lost his father. Despite all the horrible things he did, according to Josh, his father was not a bad person. So there also had to be good times he had spent with him. Knowing that he might never have good times with his father ever again, thanks to him, was horrible.

"I just don't know anymore," Carter said.

"You don't know if you love Josh?" Alyssa asked.

"Of course I love Josh! I just... don't know if things can continue like this."

Carter took a sip of his tea and stared out at the cafeteria. The one thing he was certain about, was that he needed to talk to the police. Just him and his family alone couldn't keep Josh from ever being hurt by his father again. He knew Josh wouldn't like it, but he couldn't let it slip.

After having been away for five years, and finally being together again, even after all they have gone through in such a short period of time, Carter had thought that they would be able to handle anything the world threw at them. But maybe, he had to realize that this was much bigger than them. And that maybe, they both still weren't ready.

"Maybe we shouldn't be together anymore," Carter said finally. "Maybe we should break up."