Chapter 10

What do I say when I see Hadel? What kind of expression do I make so he’ll recognize me?

Half-excited and half-worried, my thoughts swirled like so on the way.

Suddenly, the carriage shook violently and tilted to the side.

It wasn’t a big incident, but at that moment, I could only think of the accident ten years ago when I had almost died.

The letter from Hadel back then telling me he would officially make me the empress when he was crowned emperor at the coronation ceremony.

Because Hadel was called to the palace almost immediately after we got married, we had to part ways before we could even savor married life.

However, at the thought that I was suddenly becoming the Empress, I had been afraid yet happy.

Since I believed I could do anything if I was with Hadel.

But the accident on the way to the palace where the carriage flipped over.

The guards that all disappeared.

And the sudden attack from the bandits.

I had to run away before I could even process what was happening.

In order to live and see Hadel again.

The terror I felt then was so heavy it was indescribable.

The primal fear that I might actually die like this.

The fear of what could possibly happen if I was caught by the bandits.

And the despair that I might not be able to see Hadel ever again.

I was swallowed by all of those negative emotions.

“Calm down. Calm down, Asha. This time, it’s really just a small accident. That won’t happen. Let’s calm down. Calm down…..”

Maybe it was because I was on my way to see Hadel this time too.

Or maybe my trauma resurfaced because it was a similar situation.

I don’t know what the exact reason was.

But no matter how much I tried to calm myself down, I couldn’t stop shaking like a leaf.

My heart was beating loudly and my thoughts kept traveling to the worst-case scenario.

I felt pathetic.

Even though I knew I was overreacting at a small carriage accident, I couldn’t control my body.

I was trembling for who knows how long, when out of nowhere, I heard someone’s voice.

“It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong, so don’t be too scared, My Lady.”

I was barely able to lift my head to look at the speaker..

“Oh…”

The first things I saw were his bright platinum blonde hair and his brilliant, yellow jewel-like eyes, as well as his dark tan skin uncommon for a citizen of the Empire.

“Oh, you’re a knight from the Ru Tribe. I’m… okay.”

At my words, the man from the Ru Tribe was quiet for a moment, before opening his mouth.

“The Duke told me to guard you well. I’ll escort you safely, so do not feel so nervous.”

“…Yes, thank you. Please take care of me.”

I came to my senses at the word ‘Duke’.

Yeah. I didn’t have the time to be having a breakdown from my traumatic memories.

I was finally on the way to meet Hadel again, and there was a lot of work to do when I saw him.

Focus, Ashella!

You don’t have time to be shaking in fear!

I shut my eyes firmly, then opened them again, straightening my posture.

I took a deep breath and smiled.

“Sir Knight from the Ru Tribe. You’re going to be protecting me from now on, so could you tell me your name?”

Although he was a knight assigned to protect me, he was also someone who took orders from Duke Valkirino.

There might have been something I could get from him. And he was also someone I had to hide my true identity well from.

The man, surprised, blinked his yellow eyes several times before answering.

“I am…. Rahu Shepide.”

“I’ll call you Sir Rahu. You may already know, but I’m Serienne. Please address me comfortably.”

I gave a small smile again.

Just as there was a saying that you can’t spit on a smiling face, it was important to smile often at the enemy.

“…I’ll be going then. I’ll always be near, even if you can’t see me, so please rest assured.”

After Rahu spoke, he disappeared in a flurry.

I didn’t know where he was following from, but he must have been hiding pretty close.

This was a roundabout way of threatening me that they were watching me very closely and not to try anything stupid, right?

Haa. I’m anxious.

Hadel, who doesn’t know my face.

He even thinks I’m dead, so if I suddenly say that I’m Ashella, I don’t know if he’ll believe me.

Not to mention, my family is being held as hostages at the Valkirino Duchy, so I can’t hastily reveal myself.

[Asha. Remember this. Valkirino was probably at the center of the nobles that caused our downfall. You cannot let them find out that you are alive.]

[Father.]

[Until His Majesty recognizes you, do not act hastily.]

It was the parting wish of my father, who, ultimately, couldn’t hide the worry on his face.

I nodded my head, indicating I understood, but I didn’t think it would take long.

“Since Hadel is Hadel.”

A fresh breeze came in through the open window.

The branches that passed by were bare of leaves.

When winter passed and spring came, even those bare branches would bloom.

By then, everything would be done.

Then, it would be nice to go look at flowers with Hadel.

The carriage started up smoothly again.

As various thoughts about Hadel passed my mind, we arrived at the Imperial palace in no time.

“Young Lady, I am Head Maid Prim Chunet.”

As soon as I got off the carriage, my personal head maid was already waiting for me at the front.

She was a middle-aged woman with impressive blue hair and eyes.

“I see. You’re Countess Chunet. Nice to meet you.”

Chunet County was related to Duke Valkirino.

Meaning my head maid was one of the Duchy’s people.

She would report my every move to Duke Valkirino. She was at the top of the list of people I had to be careful of.

Madam Chunet lowered her head at my greeting and replied.

“It’s an honor that you recognize me. Please follow me this way.”

She said it was an honor, but her expression was a different story.

I found her stiff and mechanical face expressions and body language odd.

All of the Valkirinos felt like humans without emotions.

Although I’d already known their employees were like that, who knew their relatives would be too?

Nella, who had a bubbly personality, albeit in a bad sort of way, was the weird one out of them.

“The appointment ceremony will be at 10 o’clock. Before then, please stay in the waiting room for a moment. We will fix your disheveled appearance.”

Lost in thought, only moving as the head maid and other maids told me to, the makeup was fixed in no time.

And before I knew it, I was standing in front of the entrance of the ceremony hall.

“Announce her.”

The attendant at the entrance that was in charge of the guestbook confirmed me and Madame Chunet before opening the door.

“Young Lady Serienne of the Valkirino Duchy is entering-!”

The title Young Lady was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

The pleasant smell of flowers wafted through the open doors.

“You may enter now. I cannot go in, so I will be waiting here.”

“I understand.”

“…I hope you return safely.”

I glanced at Madame Chunet. Her head was bowed, so it was hard to tell whether she was being sincere or not.

“We’ll see each other again. No matter what.”

I moved my gaze to the slowly opening doors and smiled.

When else would there be such a happy and exciting day?

As I entered the hall, I could feel the stares of many nobles following me.

So this was what it meant to have everyone’s eyes on you.

There was nothing in the world with more pressure than this.

I knew where I had to go without even having to ask, because there was a carpet through the middle adorned with roses.

“That woman……”

“Oh my, does she really have silver hair and eyes?”

“The Valkirino Duchy found a treasure.”

“Regardless, she’ll still die soon.”

“Shh! Be quiet. She could hear you.”

“But if it’s to that extent, she might not die today?”

It was no joke. Everyone everywhere was whispering about me.

It was the first time I’d ever been this popular.

As I walked forward, step by step on the red carpet, my heart started to beat faster.

Tap tap. Taaap. Tap tap tap.

I slowly raised my fingers to the back of my hand, before tapping to the racing of my heartbeat.

Twice fast with my index finger.

Once slowly with my pinky finger.

And three times quickly with my thumb.

Hadel, it’s not a problem if you don’t recognize my face.

I have endless ways to make you recognize me.

* * *

When was it? Was it when we were twelve?

I once had a severe cold and my voice wouldn’t work.

“I’m sad because I can’t talk with Asha. Get better quickly!”

He couldn’t see, so he couldn’t communicate with writing.

A few days had passed, and there were no signs that my voice was going to come back anytime soon.

It was a day when Hadel and I were both frustrated.

“Asha! Roman told me this. He said to try making sign language! Well, in this case, you have to feel instead of see, so is it not considered sign language?”

Hadel smiled brightly with excitement and held my hand. From then on, we began working hard at making our own signs.

“Hm, like this. Try tapping your pointer finger once!”

“How about this? Can you move only your pinky finger?”

“How about if you tap your thumb twice it means you like it, and if you tap three times it means you’re asking if I like it?”

Following Hadel’s words I immediately responded with the finger signals.

I tapped my thumb. When I tapped twice on Hadel’s thumb he smiled happily.

“Asha, this is like our secret signal! I’m so excited!”

I tapped my thumb twice again, on Hadel’s hand.

Yes, I like it too.

They were signals that only Hadel, who had a good sense of touch, could have thought of.

* * *

“When the Young Lady reaches the end of the hall and kneels in front of the throne, Your Majesty will approach her and bestow a tiara upon her.”

The attendant repeated his words multiple times because the Emperor showed no reaction.

By the third time, the Emperor finally moved his pink eyes and stared at the attendant.

“I know. Why are you repeating the same thing again and again? It’s distracting.”

Hic!

Hadel said the words without any particular thought, but to the attendant, it felt like a death sentence.

To prevent the sudden hiccup that came out, he held his breath with all his strength.

Looking at the attendant as if his reaction was absurd, Hadel moved his gaze back to the front.

There was a woman with sparking silver hair walking slowly from the entrance.

“She’s better than Marquis Melliott’s stupid daughter.”

Duke Valkirino must have prepared someone better than he’d imagined.

The woman who walked in elegantly and nobly kept her eyes downcast and knelt in front of the throne.

The silver hair that fell down her shoulder sparkled and kept catching his attention.

“Lift your head.”

Should I kill her now or not?

Should I threaten her a little or not?

There were thousands of internal conflicts in his head.

But all of his thoughts were shattered the moment the woman lifted her head and he met her bright silver eyes.

Because her eyes were so similar to what he’d imagined Asha’s eyes to look like.

“Argh…”

He’d thought he’d be fine. He’d worked very hard.

So that he would be able to kill a woman even if she had silver hair and eyes.

Since if he didn’t strike the opponent first, he would be hurt the moment he hesitated.

But why?

His head started hurting. He felt nauseous, like he was about to throw up.

The doctor had said it was a symptom of trauma.

Ah, Asha.

You can shake me so easily even after you’ve died.

How could you leave before me? How…?!

“Haa…”

He couldn’t let the enemy’s tricks shake him any longer.

If this was something that could shake him up this much, it was better to just get rid of it now.

Gritting his teeth, he moved his hand to the handle of his sword.

Clack. And just when the sword left the sheath and he was about to kill her in one go–

The woman who was still holding his gaze smiled quietly.

Then, she slowly… moved her fingers.

Tap tap.

Taaap.

Tap tap tap.