Undeniably Enemies: Chapter 31

Strong arms pull me in until my back is against his chest and his face is in my hair. I stiffen momentarily but force myself to relax as I turn over in his arms. Jack slept over last night. It’s the first time we’ve done that, and I didn’t hate it. Not even a little.

“Morning,” he rasps, his voice and face thick with sleep and his hair all over the place. His arms come back around and tuck me against his bare chest. He’s hard, but he’s not doing much about it as he holds me. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Mmhmm,” I hum into him. “You?”

“Better than I have in a while actually.” He chuckles as if that notion surprises him. “I was thinking about this last night after you fell asleep. You know we’ve been on five dates.”

“What?” My head pops back, and I meet his blue eyes. “What crazy are you talking?”

“I bought you the smoothie, that was one. That Thursday, I met you at the gym and bought you dinner after, so that’s two. Monday, we got home at the same time, and I made you dinner at my place, and we watched Jeopardy together. Tuesday, we had a repeat of the smoothie, and Thursday, we brought in food to your place and watched Jeopardy and then reruns of a medical show so we could laugh at how bad the medicine in it was. That’s five dates, not including last night.”

I scowl at him. “Those don’t count as dates. We were hanging out as friends.”

He gives me a dubious look. “Do you honestly believe we’ve ever been friends?”

I smack his shoulder. “That was the word you used.”

“But I didn’t mean it.”

“Then why did you use it?” I snap and twist his nipple, making him yelp and grab my hand to pull me away.

“Because Wren Fritz, I’m in love with you, and men who are in love with women they feel they can’t have are often forced to play the friend card so the woman they’re in love with will spend time with them.”

“Huh.” I prop myself up on my elbow and stare down at him as he falls to his back. “So when you told me over text that men and women can be friends without thinking about sex, you were lying?”

He rolls his eyes. “No, I wasn’t lying. It is possible, though I suppose it’s rare. But think of Katy and Owen or me and Sorel for that matter. No sex and I promise I’ve never thought about it with her. But you and I had had sex so no way that wasn’t going to be all over my brain every second we hung out together.”

“This is why I hang out with Tyson. Gay men are easier.”

He laughs lightly. “I believe that. But we’re getting off-topic. We’ve had five dates.” He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers before he rests them on his chest over his heart. “Five dates, we’ve said we love each other, and we’re sleeping together. I think that makes us officially serious.”

“You think five dates make us serious?” I deadpan. “You don’t get out much.”

He ignores that, but there is no hiding his toothpaste commercial smile. “You’re my girlfriend, Wren. You’re going to have to live with that.”

“What perks come with that title? Obviously we know you get me out of this. But what do I get?”

“Other than me, you mean?”

“Yes. Other than my grumpy, controlling, overprotective neighbor.”

“Hmm. That’s a good question.” His other hand comes up and drags through my hair until he’s captured the back of my head. He pulls me toward his mouth. “How about kisses?”

His lips softly brush mine.

“It’s a start, but I need more than that to call this a relationship and you my boyfriend. Or my manfriend since you’re so old.”

He chuckles and nips at my shoulder. “Tyson is your manfriend. I’m your boyfriend. Or lover. What about the talking we did last night? Does that count?”

We ended up talking until about two in the morning and it was some of the best conversations I’ve had with any guy ever.

“Good. What else do you have?”

“Well, we both like to work out and watch the same shows. We like the same kinds of food. We also read the same sort of books.”

That gets me and I crack like an egg. “You had me at romance books.”

He nibbles on my jaw. “You can’t tell any of my guys though. I’ll never live it down, and as you said, I have a reputation to protect as a grumpy, controlling, overprotective⁠—”

“Cantankerous,” I interject.

“Cantankerous,” he acknowledges, “man.”

“Can I tell Tinsley?”

“Only if I can tell Sorel since I can’t tell Owen yet.”

“Deal.”

He pulls me down to him and we get lost in each other. And my heart? My heart is turning into a total sap for this man.

“Where are we going?” I ask, wondering why we’re headed in the opposite direction of my gym. He told me he wanted to get a workout in before we went shopping.

“I was having a thought. Hear me out.”

He takes my hand and knots his fingers through mine. There’s a look on his face I don’t like so much. An expression that has me feeling my heart everywhere.

“You only work out in the gym.”

My brow scrunches in on itself. “So? Lots of people work out that way.”

“Ah, except you used to run outside.”

“Jack…” I trail off.

“You used your safe word on me, and later you let me take you from behind without putting any pressure on you. You’re amazing. I thought we could go for a run outdoors down by the river together. What do you think?”

Forget feeling my heart everywhere. It’s fucking trying to jump out of my body and escape.

“What if I don’t want to do that? What if I don’t like running outside anymore?”

“That’s fear talking. I’ll be with you the entire time. You have pepper spray and your alarm on your keys. I’m a big guy, and predators tend not to attack couples or men, especially bigger men, and just to add a little something extra, I have my Leatherman.” He pulls out a metal rectangle from his pocket and shows it to me. There’s a knife in that, among other things. “But if you’re telling me you’re not ready, then you’re not ready and we’ll try it another time and go to the gym instead.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because you told me last night you were in therapy for two years, and you’ve been doing fight club at the gym overlapping some of that. Last night we fought a lot of your panic and I thought we’d keep the streak going with an outdoor run in broad daylight. But considering the idea of it has your nails digging into my hand maybe I’m pushing you too hard.”

I glance down at our joined hands and release the pressure I didn’t realize I was applying.

“I just… I haven’t been back there since.”

“I think facing it might be healing. What do you think? I told you yesterday, I’ve got you and you’re safe with me.”

“I don’t need you to fix me.”

He chuckles dryly. “That would assume I think you’re broken, which I don’t. I told you about my hand, about my surgical career, and my scholarship going down the toilet. I told you a bit about how I was set to propose to Tilly when I caught her with my boss. Oh, and she kept our dog, our apartment, and obviously our hospital. Six months later, I met a beautiful Cinderella, and I thought my luck was finally turning around. Then she turned out to be my best friend’s baby sister. Not a lot has gone right for me. I look at you and I want you like nothing else. I’m in love with you, but I’m scared because nothing good in my life has ever stuck around for long. It’s always gotten messed up one way or another.”

He stops and takes my face in both of his hands right here in the middle of the busy sidewalk.

“We’ve all got shit, Wren. All of us. Some of us more than others, and your shit is no joke. It’s serious and should be addressed and not swept under the rug or counted away. You’re going to help me believe that the other shoe won’t drop this time and that I can finally count on something amazing to stick around, and I’m going to help you slay those demons once and for all. But we can do that slowly if that feels better for you. I’m not going anywhere and it’s okay if you’re not ready yet.” His forehead meets mine. “Sometimes, all it takes is one small thing, one tiny push, the right person to come along at the right time, and we can overcome anything.”

My throat threatens to close up on me and tears I won’t let fall burn the backs of my eyes. That’s a tall order he’s placing on both of us. A challenge for us to meet. One I don’t have to do all at once or even right now if I’m not ready. But taking things slowly hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I haven’t been ready, but I also haven’t pushed myself. It’s been two and a half years and I’m still here, still afraid, stuck in the same routine. I’m sick of it.

And since I’m competitive as fuck, I say, “Fine. Bring it on. But if I say ‘chocolate’ mid run…” I trail off, raising an eyebrow at him.

“We stop and go home or out for lunch or wherever you want to go. And you can simply tell me you’re done. You don’t need a safe word out here, sweetheart.” He smiles the perfect mixture of worship and a soul-divining need to completely own someone, and I have it bad for this man. “We’ll go as far as you want and then we’ll stop. Even if it’s two seconds, that’s fine.” He smirks. “I don’t think you realized, but you didn’t lock the front lock four times.”

That pulls me up short. I didn’t? No, wow, I didn’t.

“Fine, demon slayer, let’s fucking run.” I roll my eyes because I can be a petulant bitch when I want to be and start to jog alongside him.

Within minutes, we hit a path by the water and it’s the same path I was on, though this time it’s far more populated and open and bright given the time of day. I didn’t follow the woman code. I ran in the evening when it was already dark because I thought I was above it, and he took advantage of that.

“Jack?”

“I’m right here with you.”

His gaze flings left to mine as we run in stride.

“But what if⁠—”

“Nothing, and I fucking mean nothing, will happen to you when you’re with me. Not ever, Wren. I’ll protect you with my life.”

I can do this. I want to do this. I want my life back. My full life. Jesus, my palms are sweating and my heart is like a drunk mariachi band.

“Do you want to stop?” he continues when my steps slow a bit.

Yes. I really, seriously do. And it would be okay if I did. I know this. I’m here and I got this far and if I stop… then I’ll simply try again another day. But he’s right. Nothing will happen to me out here like this. No one will touch me with him at my side. But more importantly, it wasn’t random.

It was opportunistic. It was motivated. It was diseased.

“Wren?”

Fuck. Fuck! “Let’s keep going.”

“You sure?”

Am I? “No, but let’s do it anyway until I can’t.”

“You tell me when you’re done, and we’re done.”

“I’m not done.” Not yet. And now, I want to beat Jack’s ass. For real this time. Not just so I’ll let him buy me a smoothie or dinner. I want to outrace him. Outrun him. Outrun the past because fuck all of it. Fuck those fingers that I feel, the ones that curl at the edges of my skin, of my clothes, as they try to catch me and pull me back. His breath. His voice. His words. The sharp slice of his blade.

I puff out a breath because Jack’s right. I don’t want this to rule me anymore, and I used to love running along the river. He stole that from me, and I let him take over my life. I turned away from men and only had sex a certain way and felt anxious all the damn time. I don’t want to be that girl anymore.

I pick up my pace and test it for another minute. Then I run and run until I don’t feel that buckling tension choking me. He’s still there, but he doesn’t have to be. He can fade like everything else. I’m safe. I’m here. Nothing can or will hurt me.

“You’re cute when you think you’ve got me,” I taunt, going faster.

A grin lights up his features. “Winner buys breakfast.”

Ugh. Of course he picks now to flip that around.