Ruined Secrets: Part 1 – Chapter 10

I grab the counter in front of me and look up at my reflection in the mirror above the sink. There’s something wrong with me. It’s the only explanation.

Tonight, after leaving Isabella naked in her room, I got into my car and drove downtown while my dick was on the verge of exploding because of how hard it was. I planned to call an escort and just be done with it. I drove around for two hours, only to get back home and find release courtesy of my own hand in the shower. Again. Thinking about the nineteen-year-old in the next room.

Damian says I’m acting irrationally, but he doesn’t understand my fear. I’m not a tender man, and my tastes where sex is concerned are not something a nineteen old girl would be okay with. If I let myself go, Isabella will probably get scared.

I always had to hold back with Simona. One time when I slipped, she avoided me for two weeks. When we passed each other around the house, she would stare at me with the look of a terrified gazelle and bolt.

I don’t think I could stomach seeing the same fear in Isabella’s eyes.

There’s something that attracts me to this girl like a magnet, but I can’t pinpoint what. It’s not only her body, which is every man’s wet dream—small with her tiny waist and the most gorgeous fucking ass I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Nor is it just her pixie face—all sharp lines and huge eyes. I can’t grasp it. I have no idea what it is, but for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about her. I keep trying to convince myself that this madness will pass, but it’s only getting worse.

Then, there’s my sick jealousy. I assigned Marco as her bodyguard for two reasons. First, because he’s the most reliable I have and won’t hesitate to get in front of a bullet for her. And second, because he’s fifty-two. Still, every day I find it harder and harder to let her go anywhere with him alone. A few days ago, when I was heading out to meet with Donato, I saw Isabella and Marco leave. I had to make myself get into my damn car and drive off immediately or I would have called Donato and canceled just so I could take her to see Andrea myself.

I have no idea what’s going on with me. When the fuck did I start losing my shit?

After washing my face, I get into bed, but sleep eludes me. I find myself staring into the darkness, wondering what I’m going to do with the little spymaster in the other room.

It’s well into the night when I hear the faint sound of a door opening. Keeping my body still and pretending I’m asleep, I crack my eyes open just a little. Isabella is standing at the threshold of our connecting rooms, a blanket wrapped around her from neck to toes. She stays there for a few moments, then tiptoes toward my bed. Carefully, she climbs up and slowly lies down, curling on the empty side with her back to me.

I wonder if Luca will be mad when he wakes up and finds me in his bed. He probably will, but I don’t give a damn at the moment. I kept tossing and turning for hours, trying to fall asleep, but my eyes kept wandering to the sofa where Luca slept the last few nights. He didn’t say anything when he came in that first time, just tossed a pillow on the end of the sofa and laid down. He didn’t even undress. The sofa was way too small for him, and it couldn’t have been comfortable, but he stayed the whole night. In the morning, when I woke up, he was gone. I could do the same, just sleep here a little bit and go back to my room before he notices me.

The mattress dips behind me and my eyes snap open, but I don’t dare to move. If he thinks I’ve fallen asleep, maybe he won’t throw me out. An arm wraps around my waist and pulls me back until I’m pressed against Luca’s hard chest. He throws one leg over mine and tightens his hold, spooning me with his huge body. I can barely breathe, too shocked by his unexpected act. The blanket is the only thing separating our bodies, but I can still feel his warmth seeping into me, as well as his hard cock pressing into my backside.

He doesn’t say anything, just lies still behind me. Slowly, I reach over and take his hand, moving it off my hip to inside the folds of the blanket until it rests between my legs. His fingers brush my core through the lacy material of my panties, and I suck in a breath.

“Not tonight, tesoro,” he whispers next to my ear. “My self-control is barely hanging by a thread.”

He starts to pull his hand away, but I hold onto it and press it harder to my pussy, tightening my legs and caging it in place. “You want to know what I think of your self-control, Luca?”

“Isa . . .”

“It can go to hell.” I grind my ass right over his hard cock, and hear him growl.

“You are”—his hand tugs on my panties, sliding them down—“playing with fire, tesoro.”

Luca presses his cock to my behind as his finger enters me. I gasp, arching back against him.

He leans into me and removes his finger. “Last chance, Isa.”

“I will enjoy burning with you, Luca,” I rasp, kicking my panties from around my ankles.

He throws his blanket off. It lands somewhere across the room as he tugs on the one I have wrapped around me, and it follows suit. His lips press onto my shoulder, then skim the side of my neck. I start turning toward him, but his arms come around me, hands sliding lower, between my legs.

“How many men, Isa?” he utters, teasing my clit with his thumb.

“What?”

“How many have you slept with before now?”

His finger enters me again, and I ride it as my nails dig into his forearm. “Does it matter?”

“No.” A bite on my shoulder, then a lick. “But I still want you to tell me.” Another bite. “Names, as well.”

“I’m not telling you.”

“The names, Isa.”

The pressure he’s putting on my clit makes me whimper, and then he curls a finger inside of me. I pant as tremors rack my body, my thighs trembling.

“I’m going to strangle them all,” he says and moves his mouth to my neck, biting at the sensitive skin there.

I come with a loud moan, but he keeps massaging my pussy. My body continues to shake like I have a fever. Luca adds a second finger into me, and I gasp. He continues to press firmly onto my core and pump his fingers in and out. When I think I can’t take much more, he pinches my clit, and I come again. I’m still trembling as he removes his boxer briefs and then places a kiss on my shoulder. He turns me onto my back, covers my body with his, and positions his cock at my entrance. For a second I go completely still. I can’t help it. Then I force my body to relax as a combination of anticipation and fear consumes me.

Luca’s head lowers, his lips landing on mine. Dear God, I’ve dreamed about kissing him for so long, imagining how it would feel. So much that it became an obsession. For some reason, in my mind, it always ended up as a slow, tender kiss, where he would tilt my head slightly and carefully taste my lips. Almost a chaste kiss, similar to those I had with a couple of boys I went out with. I was so wrong because there’s nothing chaste about this kiss. It’s hard and raw, like the man himself. Luca’s kiss is him staking his claim. Threading my hands in his hair which is falling on either side of my face, I brush my fingers through the silky strands and let him possess me with his lips.

One of Luca’s hands moves between my legs, spreading them wider, and the tip of his cock slowly enters me. I suck in a breath and close my eyes, my body rigid. Relax, I say to myself. It doesn’t work. Luca stops, starts massaging my clit, then tries again. This time, his body goes rigid.

“Isabella?” he says into my mouth. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

I bite my lip and shake my head. “No.”

“Look at me.”

I do, and find him regarding me with his jaw set in a hard line. “Have you had sex before?”

I’ve been dreading this moment. It was a struggle to get this far because of his obsession with the difference in our ages, so I was afraid he would never succumb if he knew I was a virgin. I hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“No,” I utter and fist my hands in his hair to keep him from pulling away. “Please, don’t stop.”

He watches me, then shakes his head. Closing his eyes, he presses his forehead to mine. “Jesus, tesoro.”

“Please, Luca,” I whisper. “Please, don’t stop.”

“I could’ve hurt you, Isa. Do you have any idea how it would make me feel? Did you even think about that?”

I wrap my legs around his waist, opening myself even more for him, and slide my hands down his back. “Do it.” I dig my nails into his skin. “Or I’ll find someone else to do it for you.”

Luca’s nostrils flare as he stares into my eyes. I inhale to prepare for the pain, I expect him to thrust himself into me to the hilt. Instead, his hand slides between our bodies and he starts to circle my clit with his finger while his cock remains at my entrance.

The pressure begins to build inside of me, my breathing coming faster as his finger continues to tease me. Soon, I’m so crazy with the need to feel him inside me that I forget my anxiety and fear. His cock slides into me—impossibly slow—and there’s a slight pinch of pain, but it lasts only a few seconds. Then, I’m engulfed by the sensation of his rhythm as he rocks into me, stretches me, fills me. It’s slightly uncomfortable at first, but it quickly transforms into pleasure that consumes my whole being.

It’s not just having him inside me, making me tremble. It’s his body pressed against mine and his hands caressing my cheeks. It’s Luca’s eyes, piercing and dangerous, holding my gaze the whole time, and the tips of his hair tickling my shoulders and face. The way he grits his teeth because he’s holding back for fear of hurting me. I never expected that from him. Even though he’s mad for not telling him it’s my first time, he’s still trying not to hurt me. And that fact makes my heart swell with happiness.

With his breath fanning my face, Luca keeps rocking his body. In. Out. In again. My walls are stretching, taking more of him inside with every thrust. His hand moves up my body, grabs the back of my neck and squeezes.

“Is this what you wanted, Isabella?” he asks, then bites my shoulder.

“Yes,” I choke out, “But now I want more.”

Luca slides his cock out, then slams into me, hard, and I gasp as spasms begin in my core. A strange satisfaction overcomes me, and the next moment, my brain explodes into beautiful nothingness just as he comes inside me.

I’m bathing in the feeling of having Luca’s body lying over mine when he pulls out and gets up. He disappears into the bathroom on the other side of the room for a moment, returning with a towel in his hand. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, he cleans me up. Once he’s done, he leans his elbows on his knees, and remains nearly motionless, gaze focused on the towel smeared with my blood. After a while, and without saying a word, he grabs the blanket off the floor and covers my naked body. His touch is gentle, but I can feel him pulling away as he starts putting on his sweats and T-shirt.

“Don’t you dare try manipulating me again, Isabella,” he says in cold voice. Not giving me another glance, he walks to the door and leaves the room.

For a few moments, I just stare at that damn door—yet another barrier he slammed in his wake—then bury my face in the pillow and cry.