Chapter 243 - Why Can’t I Get My Memory Back

“My mother has been setting up obstacles for you. From Guang Qing to...Liu Wenlong, you have been fighting with her using your wits and courage.

“Your mother was hit by a motorcycle because of my mother, so you deliberately snubbed me. You hired the shady men who kidnapped you, didn’t you? Hah, you’ve even held on to my mother’s temperament, and you took the initiative to strike first to gain the upper hand and calculated everything step by step — while pregnant, no less.”

Ning Qing’s eyes widened. She hadn’t expected Lu Shaoming to have already figured it all out.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and explained nervously, “Shaoming, listen to me. I didn’t mean to play tricks on you and Mom, but I had no choice.”

Lu Shaoming bent over and kissed her lips. His knitted eyebrows showed a tinge of pain. “Ning Qing, why are you explaining instead of feeling wronged?”

“I...”

“If he comes back now, you won’t even think about it. You’re sure to rush into his arms and cry. You’re sure to tell him about your grievances. You’ll blame him for going away for so long. You’ll tell him how hard it has been on you these three months. You’ll talk coquettishly to him.”

Ning Qing was speechless. She imagined that if he were to recover his memory, she would do so, no doubt about it.

But he hadn’t recovered his memory.

The situation was different.

“Ning Qing, he loves you very much, doesn’t he? Through your words, I know he said that he would allow you and the baby to grow up together in his arms. He said that he’d only like the children you gave birth to for him. Do you love him too? Your pursuit of me and your tolerance for my mother is telling me how much you love him every minute with real actions.”

“Shaoming, don’t be like this alright? You’re frightening me by saying “he” and “him.” You are him. There is only one Lu Shaoming in the world.”

“But I’m not him after all.” Lu Shaoming shook his head painfully. “Sorry, I really can’t remember a single bit of our past. I’ve forgotten all of our first time. If I were him, everything that happened in these three months wouldn’t have happened, and I would not let you suffer a little grievance.”

Ning Qing’s eyes were very wet. Her two small hands touched his firm side face with infatuation. “Shaoming, that sentence of yours is enough... Mmph!”

The man covered her lips.

The man kissed very hard. He kissed her lips twice and pushed his tongue directly into her city to attack. He sucked at her mouth hard while she was in his arms, and a faint metallic taste filled their mouths.

He had kissed her until she bled.

Ning Qing did not refuse him. His kiss had expressed all his uneasiness to her. She held his head in one hand while the other hand unbuttoned his shirt. “Shaoming, not tonight. There is still a week to three months, you have to endure it. I’ll use other ways.”

Her little face was red as she arched her elegant tender neck and allowed him to kiss her.

Lu Shaoming grabbed her wandering little hand, left her lips, and kissed her hot little face. He murmured, “Ning Qing, I love you too.”

The man pulled away.

“Shaoming.” Ning Qing quickly rose to chase after him after seeing the man stride out of the room. “Shaoming, where are you going?”

When she had just walked out of the room, she heard a Bam! The man had already left the villa. The car started and the Bentley sped away.

He had left?

Ning Qing stamped her feet in anger, not knowing what he meant by this. Did he really leave her here like that?

That sentence “I love you too” echoed in her ear. Ning Qing couldn’t understand it. She really couldn’t understand why he was competing with himself.

Half a year later, when Ning Qing was in labor, when she accompanied him to fly to England again for treatment, only then did she understand the “too.”

...

In the Bentley, Lu Shaoming dialed a number and said, “Hello, Secretary Zhu, help me arrange something. I want to fly to England! Yes, right now, immediately!”

Lu Shaoming threw the Bluetooth earpiece in his ear into the front passenger’s seat and looked sideways out of his window. The veins on his forehead were jumping wildly.

Why?

Why did he lose his memory?

He had remembered everything else, except her?

What to do? What should he do? His knuckled hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. His palms were sweaty. What should he do if he couldn’t recover his memory?

A low laugh rose from his throat and thought that he was ridiculous. After three months of jealousy, he ended up being jealous of himself.

That “never before, never again” was also him.

But he was not the same man anymore.

She so eagerly hoped that he could recover his memory, but he had tried to remember until his head ached and split apart without a single fragment of his memory returning to him. He was in so much pain, so painful.

How could he forget her?

If worse comes to worst, if he really couldn’t recover his memory, how should he face her disappointment? How could he defeat him?

The shadow hidden within him.

Suddenly, he remembered the humiliation she had suffered in the elevator more than a month ago. He had asked how many men had kissed her and how many men had slept with her. He was such a jerk.

How many grievances had she suffered?

No wonder she said at that time, “Lu Shaoming, you will regret it to your death.” He had regretted his girl, his wife... He had let her wander outside alone these three months. He had let her accept all the pressure and bullying, even the baby. That night he was such a jerk, and he had even let her be kicked by others.

How could he compare with that guy?

Hah, no wonder she loves him.

...

Lu Shaoming arrived in London the next day. He went straight to the hospital. The handsome man strolled along the corridor. Even abroad, his turnaround rate was 100%.

Zhou Zhilei’s eldest brother, Zhou Dayuan, was talking to a patient in a white coat. Lu Shaoming stood by the door and knocked on it.

Zhou Dayuan glanced sideways at him and said in surprise, “Shaoming, why are you here? Wait a minute. I’ll talk to the patient first.”

The patient also looked at Lu Shaoming. Lu Shaoming took a deep look at him. His scarlet lips were thin and ] slightly pale. “Please give us a minute.”

The man’s upbringing required him to use “please”, but his words were not asking him. A fierce murderous intent was hidden behind that light gaze.

The patient look at the man who looked wealthy all over and dared not provoke him, he got up in a panic and slipped out of the door.

“Shaoming, what’s wrong with you?” Zhou Dayuan stood up.

Lu Shaoming walked into the office, stared at Zhou Dayuan and asked directly, “Why did I lose my memory?”

Zhou Dayuan pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. As the leading doctor of medicine in London, he was gentle and elegant. “Shaoming, why are you asking this question again? I’ve already explained it to you because you have glass fragments in your head. The surgery has caused a certain small area of trauma...”

“Oh.” Lu Shaoming laughed. “Is that right? So why do I remember everything else, but I just can’t remember a certain woman? Isn’t that too coincidental?”

Zhou Dayuan was surprised. “A woman?”

“Yes, my favorite woman.”

Zhou Dayuan frowned and placed the information in his hand on the desktop. “Shaoming, so the purpose of your coming here is because...you doubt me? Just because I’m Zhilei’s elder brother?”

Lu Shaoming looked into Zhou Dayuan’s eyes. His gaze was very open and honest. From his first sentence, he was calm and not abnormal.

Lu Shaoming raised his eyebrows.

“Shaoming, did you just forget a woman? Many medical coincidences cannot be explained...”

“You mean there’s no way to restore my memory?”

“... Strictly speaking, no. Shaoming, can’t you just find the woman you’ve forgotten? It doesn’t affect your normal life.”

“You’re f*cking talking crap!” Lu Shaoming’s eyes were red as he cursed. “Do you know that the operation has divided me into two people. I could have had the girl’s complete love, but why is it missing now? I really want to recall that part of my memory. I want to know how we met and loved each other. I want to become him, that person that allows her to love unreserved! ”

“Shaoming, don’t be agitated...”

“How do you want me to be calm?” Lu Shaoming kicked over a chair and walked to Zhou Dayuan. He grabbed his collar and pressed him against the wall. The man was panting. “You said that losing my memory does not affect my life. Let me tell you, it doesn’t affect my life; it changes it completely!

“Her love was mine, but I can only hear her calling my mother “Mom” and it sounds harsh to my ears. Looking at her with her little hands touching every inch of the villa wall so helplessly, looking at her mentioning the man with tears so enviously, I cannot comfort her, because I have no memory. I am not him at all.

“But I was enjoying everything that the man had given me. Do you know how hesitant I was, how heartbroken I was, how remorseful I was, how jealous I was? I even hoped that she would love another man instead of the shadow that sleeps in my body. At least then I wouldn’t be so frustrated and hate myself so much!”

...

After he raged, Lu Shaoming went out of the hospital and flew back to the United States.

When he arrived in the United States at night, he walked alone to the corner of Wall Street with his hands in his pants pockets. He didn’t know where he was going. He just wanted to walk. He had heard that she had been here before.

Three months ago, she had come here to look for her Lu Shaoming.

What was her mood then?

Walking along, he came to the luxury store and walked in.

The shopkeeper was surprised and happy to see him. “Boss, you’re back?”

“Yes.” Lu Shaoming nodded. He leisurely walked forward and looked at the landing window covered in the moonlight. With his eyes closed, he could imagine how she had followed him all the way out of the window, watched him all the way, and cried all the way.

The footsteps stopped by the sofa he had sat on. It was roughly in this position, that she had vowed to take him back home.

Lu Shaoming stood there in a daze. His mind was in a mess, and he didn’t know what to think. After all, he had no memory of her except for those three months.

Hah.

Lu Shaoming turned around in loneliness. His eyes suddenly glanced over the window on the wall. There were many pictures in the window.

His pupils shrank sharply as he marched forward vigorously.

There was a picture in the corner of the window. The girl in the picture was wearing a long white sweater and a blue scarf around her neck. Half of her small face was soft and delicate. It was around dusk then. The colorful light hit the landing window and reflected rays of colorful haloed light.

The girl stood sideways, her little hands gently pressing up against the landing window as she printed her red lips on the glass. On her cheeks, glittering tears were falling.

It was Ning Qing three months ago.