Chapter 17

Ayaan was confused. His eyes were stuck on the retreating figure of Naina as she went out of sight. Her words hit him like a slap, but also like a small wound which aimed to fill.

What did she mean by our world are different?

She wasn't wrong, he thought. He was always at the center, and now, he doesn't know how it might feel to be on the side. Whereas she was always on the side and she might not know how it feels to be on the center.

But that doesn't mean they can't try it.

Neither of them knew, though, that Ayaan was craving to be on the side for once, and Naina was craving to be in the center.

"Where are you bro?" Rohan's voice on call distorted Ayaan's thoughts, "Time to sing."

"Huh? Yeah. I'm coming." Ayaan said, while trying to reset himself in the present, "5 mins."

Cutting the call, he stuffed the phone in his pocket and walked towards his stage, where he had to become The Ayaan Malhotra again. He didn't mind being it, but it was an inevitable fact that when he was with Naina, he was just Ayaan. Just a regular guy with a few hobbies.

He heard whistles and cheers as he entered the main stage. Rohan and Arjun, his friends and his band members, were ready. Ayaan's eyes looked for the one pair of eyes he really wanted to see.

Naina.

But, she wasn't there. He wasn't surprised. Deep down he knew she wouldn't be there. After throwing facts at him, she wouldn't be there.

His fingers went on his guitar as he made himself comfortable on the stool where he was to sing from. He knew his song, he knew his cue. Ayaan knew all he needed to know, except that one question.

Why was she not ready to accept the feelings between them?

As he hit the first note, the first lyric, his voice echoed throughout the University Square. Unknown to him, his voice had reached her ears. His voice had always reached her ears, since their first year. She had never missed his shows.

That was the only time she'd see him.

She was standing near a tree, safely tucked away behind her bag and sweatshirt, away from his eyes, as she watched him sing. She always admired his ability to sing confidently. She was a good singer but no one knew. She would sing alone, perhaps because no one ever encouraged her to sing out loud and her parents were never around to hear her sing.

As his lyrics caressed her ears, she felt a pang of guilt rising in her. She had lied to him yet again. She lied about everything she said to him.

But she had to.

Life with Ayaan Malhotra wasn't a joke. It might have been easier if they were friends or if they didn't have the history that they did, but that was not the case. They had history. She knew Ayaan might be confused. Physical intimacy often confuses the mind and its functioning. She wasn't mad at him for being confused, but she was getting caught off guard by his persistence.

No one's ever tried this much for her.

To even talk to her.

And now this man comes and persists so much to just get her to accept her feelings.

But it's easy to accept it, then what?

She can't date him. That's not possible.

She didn't want to generalize but she wasn't like the other girls. She wasn't ready to date.

Heck! She hadn't even dated before.

Brushing her thoughts away, she gave a silent clap to Ayaan as everyone else cheered for him, then quickly moved away before his eyes started scouting again. She ran to her most secluded spot in the library, where she felt safe. There, she settled herself in her books, ready to be swept away from the outside world.

~•~

It had worked. It had been 2 hours since anyone spoke to her and she didn't want it any other way. She enjoyed the silence and, not to mention, got so much work done that she had an accomplished smile on her face.

What can she do now? She thought.

Her friends had messaged her seeing as though they had all gotten separated after his singing, and she had told them that she'd be studying in the library alone, to which they had given a positive nod and carried on with their day.

She's free now though. What would she do?

Just as she was about to open her laptop to watch a show, she was greeted with a familiar face. One that she didn't want to see.

Ayaan.

He stood in the side, leaning against the books, blocking her way. His rolled up sleeves and slightly tousled hair giving him a godly look.

"I thought I might find you here." He said and made himself comfortable in front of her. His eyes were on hers as she tried to look away.

"What do you want?" She asked.

"You." Ayaan's answer was direct, very direct. So direct that it caught her off guard as she looked at him with wide eyes.

"What?" She mumbled, "What do you mean?"

"I want you," his hand catching hers, "to tell me why you have a nice habit of lying to me." His gaze fixed onto hers as he noticed the change in her body language. It was the language of being caught.

"What did I.... I do?" She hesitated.

"You lied again, Naina. About what you said before my singing." His hand refusing to let hers go, "And I don't understand why you do."

She tried to let go but his grip was tight, so she looked at him helplessly. He chuckled at her futile attempt, "Listen, you can go, once I get my answers, I'll drop you back myself."

"What answers?"

"About why we can't see what's going on between us. Why you can't give me the same warmth you did that night." He pleaded.

"Because, it's like a dream, not a reality." Naina  explained to him, now relaxing in his hold.

"Why can't it become a reality? What's stopping you? Because the only thing that's stopping me is you." He said, his hand now caressing hers.

"It can't become a reality because what you're feeling is a spur-of-the-moment infatuation, which is normal. You don't like me Ayaan," she said, holding his gaze, "You just liked the kiss."

Saying so, she got up and left, leaving him in even more of a double mind than what he had before.

Did he really just like the kiss?

Or did he like her?

🤍