Chapter 18

After being dismissed from his presence, Anna tried to find her way outside, but no door would open under her hand.

Melissa had followed her and shown her back to her room where a sumptuous lunch had been laid out. Unable to stomach more than a few mouthfuls, she’d taken the book of poetry to her window seat, and found herself unable to concentrate.

Laying her book aside Anna tried to leave her room, but of course, it was locked. Knocking heavily she begged someone, anyone, to be let outside.

After a slight pause, the door was unbolted and Melissa opened it. In her hands she held a shawl of fine Holland lace and arranging it around Anna’s shoulders, showed her the way out.

Anna wandered the many different gardens, seeing how many of the beautiful blooms she could identify. Soon enough, she found herself in the ill fated jeweled garden.

She found a bench and sank onto it feeling uneasy and very confused. She had absolutely no idea what to make of Lord Christian. He had chastised her about altering her dresses, about the fact that she couldn’t play any instruments, couldn’t draw or paint, and couldn’t play cards. He had said she might as well be a servant instead of a companion, all in their first meeting.

Anna had been hard pressed to think of a reason to disagree with him. She had been no better than a servant in her father’s home since her birth. Teresa and Erica had barely lifted a finger to make their lives easier, always finding ways to get Anna to do the work for them, knowing she could not sit by and watch them be punished.

Looking around her, she began to pick up gems that had fallen from the flowers around her. Each one was a perfectly cut stone, not a flaw was to be seen. A single one of them could have fed her family for weeks, maybe longer if they were frugal and didn’t indulge in choice cuts of meat.

Shaking her head at the utter waste of such wealth, she replaced them in the dirt where she had found them.

Rising, she pulled her shawl closer around her shoulders and began to walk towards the other gardens. To Anna there was more beauty in real flowers than in the jeweled and golden ones she had found there.

After walking for half an hour or so, she found herself in a grove of lavender, the smell of which was intoxicating. Wishing she had some shears to snip off a few blooms, she simply buried her face into their blossoms and inhaled deeply, tears welling in her eyes.

This was the smell she had always associated with her mother, though she had never known her.

Anna had always believed this is what she would have smelled like, that the velvety softness of the petals against her cheek could have been her kiss, and the soft sounds the stems made in the breeze were what she would sound like singing her to sleep.

How long she knelt there, she did not know, but as she finally opened her eyes and lifted her head she found Agnes standing at the end of the lane watching her. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she smiled.

“How long have you been there?” she asked.

Agnes shrugged and walked towards her.

“Not long my dear,” Agnes replied, adjusting Anna’s shawl more securely around the young girl’s shoulders. “I just came to tell you that your dinner was in your room when you are ready.”

“Thank you,” Anna breathed.

“Why were you crying, child?” Agnes asked, walking beside her.

“I was thinking of my mother,” Anna admitted, seeing no reason to hide the truth.

“What kind of mother was she?” Agnes asked, curious to know what kind of woman would allow her husband to trade her daughter away so easily.

“Erica and Teresa told me she was wonderful,” Anna said, then seeing the confusion on Agnes’ face she explained. “Our mother died giving birth to me. I think that's one of the reasons our father hated me so much. I killed his wife, and I wasn’t a son.”

“I’m sure your father doesn't hate you,” Agnes replied, fearing her words were hollow.

“I know he did,” Anna clarified, "more than once he’s told me so.”

Agnes stopped, staring after Anna as she continued walking. When she realized the older woman was no longer next to her, Anna turned back.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, seeing the look of surprise on Agnes’ face.

‘How could a man say that to his own child?’ Agnes asked herself, looking at the young girl.

To be so cruel.

Then she thought of Christian, of how he had been before the curse. He would not have hesitated to say such a thing then.

“Nothing is wrong,” Agnes lied, smiling brightly at the girl. She moved forward and resumed her place walking by Anna’s side.

“Agnes,” Anna said softly, “do you think Lord Beauchamp would mind if I took a few blossoms?”

“You can ask him this evening,” Agnes said, slipping her arm into Anna’s, “he has asked for you to join him after eating.

“Though I do not think he will mind,” the older woman added.

“Thank you,” Anna said, allowing the older woman to lead her back into the house.

After a barely touching her meal of duck, puddings and cakes, Anna waited to be called to Lord Beauchamp.

As the minutes ticked by she couldn't help but pace up and down the room wondering what he wanted to talk to her about.

Had she done something wrong? Thinking over every thing she'd done today she couldn't think of anything that could have gotten her in trouble.

They'd let her into the garden hadn't they. Were they not supposed to?

Hearing a knock on her door, she hurried to answer it.

"Lord Beauchamp will see you now," Agnes said, standing in the hall with a large candelabra.

Nodding, Anna followed the older woman down to the same study she'd been to.

Agnes opened the door, motioning for Anna to enter.

Taking a settling breath, Anna stepped in to the dark room