chapter twenty-seven

harris

Seb is the first off the cliff. Not because he jumps—not like last time.

No, this time? This time, I push him.

It's fine, he was being a chicken.

I wait to see where he resurfaces before attempting a jump of my own. He landed pretty soundly in the water, feet first, and I'm happy to report that he's not drowning. It's a muggy, humid day, one where the ground is still wet from the rain the night before, and a wall of thick clouds hangs in the distance, another storm threatening for later. But above us, the sun is beating down harshly on exposed skin, and I can't stand the heat any longer.

The wind is cold against my chest when I jump. It whistles harshly in my ears, and I suck in a breath right before I hit the water, plunging in foot-first. I exhale through my nose as soon as I'm beneath the surface, taking a second to gather myself before swimming back up to breathe.

Sebastian is there, treading water and looking incredibly pissed off. I rub the algae-ridden lake water from my eyes just in time to see him push back his silky black curls. With his hair all pushed back like that, it's kind of giving Tom Hiddleston as Loki. I'm surprised that it's so attractive to me, but, then again, I find just about everything about Sebastian to be attractive.

Even right now, how he's glowering at me: attractive.

He splashes me with one hand. "Why did you fucking push me, you asshole?"

I can't help but laugh. He just continues to glare until I can catch my breath. "Sorry, sorry, I should have asked. You just ... you were waiting there for five minutes, brah."

He points. It's suitably threatening. "I'm not your brah."

"Shhhhh." I splash him back. "Just shhhhhhhh now, sleeeeep."

He rolls his eyes and tries to splash me again, but I swim away from him, laughing. "Come here, don't even," he says, already paddling to try and catch up with me. I keep swimming away from him, my strokes shorter than his but seemingly more powerful.

It takes him a while to catch up to me. When he does, we're right by the cliff's wall, heaving for breath. I'm smiling. He's not, but he's not mad. I can tell.

"C'mere," I say, paddling towards him instead of running again.

Seb doesn't say anything, but he meets me in the middle. His face is wet, water droplets running down his temples and cheeks. His lips are wet too, but they're warm, and they fit perfectly against mine, so I'm not complaining.

"You kiss good," he whispers, our noses touching.

"No, you kiss good." Our lips meet again, and I stifle a groan.

We kiss like that for a while, Seb's arms around my shoulders, me kicking beneath the surface to keep both of us afloat. My hands are just above his hips, my fingers pressed against the loose fabric of his swim trunks. The nylon of the shorts is smooth and rough simultaneously, and they're so loose that the fabric swishes around my fingers. I press my fingers harder into his hips. Seb moans.

And then something slippery slides against my foot.

"OHHH, WHAT THE FUCK." My leg lashes out into the murky waters on instinct. I completely forget that I'm treading for the both of us. Seb and I both bob down down for a second, but then he starts kicking, picking up my slack.

"What is it?" he asks, grabbing my hips to steady me.

I'm panting a little harder than I'd like to admit. "Nothing," I assure him, because seriously, it would have been. "Just, a fish or some shit touched my foot."

He wrinkles his nose. "Fuck that," he says. "Wanna get out?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

We swim towards shore, immediately lying down on the rocky banks when we reach them. Stones dig into my back, but I don't care. My chest is heaving, and so is Seb's, and suddenly, without warning, I start laughing, and I can't stop.

Seb joins in too, like he can't help it. "What?" he asks. "What is so funny?"

"I don't know. I just, being here with you, like that, and then ... fish."

"Fish." He sighs and rolls onto his side to face me. I follow suit, ignoring the gravel scraping my arm. "It's pretty funny that you'd be afraid of fish."

"Umm, I'm not afraid of anything, actually?"

"I highly doubt that. There's gotta be something."

Liam's face pushes its way into my mind, and for a split second, I have to remind myself to breathe. It's fine. That's never going to happen again. "Mushrooms. I am deathly afraid of mushrooms."

"What, like, to eat? Or to microdose or whatever?"

Microdose. Like I'd have the balls for anything other than weed. "Um, neither, but also, both? Mushrooms in general."

Seb settles his head down onto his hand and smiles softly. "Is there a story behind your great fear of mushrooms, or are you just silly and goofy like that?"

"Oh, dear Sebastian, I have a reason for everything. Didn't you know?"

"Well, pray tell, just what is your tale of devastation and woe in regard to ... doth shrooms?"

I shrug, still smiling. With one hand, I shake out the front of my hair so it doesn't dry too crazy, even though I'm sure we'll be headed back in any minute now. "So, my mom is a doctor, right?"

"Right."

"And my grandma is, like, a total Fireside Girl."

"Niche reference, but okay."

I roll my eyes at him. "Anyways, I was out for a walk with my grandma and mom, and apparently four-year-old me found this batch of wild mushrooms. And neither of the adults present could figure out what they were. All they knew was that—"

Seb sighs, eyes shut tight. "You ate them?"

"How did you guess?"

"Because that is literally the most you thing you could have done."

"Yeah, probably." I stretch my legs out and flinch when a chilly wave touches the tip of my toes. "So, long story short, I get rushed to the emergency room, but my mom and my grandma are absolutely furious with me, and—"

"As they should."

"Ummm, who asked? That's right. No one."

"So that's why you're afraid of mushrooms," Seb says. "Because four-year-old you thought you were going to die?"

"Yep. Pretty much."

"Wow."

"Yeah, it's a pretty Doctor Doofenshmirtz background story."

He squints his eyes nearly shut. "What is with the Phineas and Ferb references today? You're two for two."

"Three for three, actually. Only real ones will spot the third. And, how dare you—that is my earliest hospital memory, thank you."

"Mm, speaking of hospital," Seb says, "you'll never guess who was taking glam shots from their hospital bed?"

"Oh, I like this game!" I stretch my arms and legs out, forming one big 'X' against the dirty beach for a moment. I'm still soaked, so dirt clings to me, but I don't care. "Ummm ... Liam?"

"If only."

"That was my only guess."

Seb mimics my stretching. Our fingers brush, and I try not to laugh at how unexpectedly ticklish it is. "Elana Doorsey."

"Oh, dude, what the fuck?" I wonder what it could have been—a bad cliff jump seems most likely. Elana has an obsession with diving into Wetspring Quarry. She says it's fun, though, and she's been doing it for years. So maybe it was something else? Yeah. Yeah, it must have been. "Is she okay?"

"Seems to be. Her duck face is intact."

"Oh, well, good for her. That's her most valuable asset."

Seb sighs and sits up. It gives his stomach these cute little stomach rolls, and I'm consumed by the urge to put my head on his lap, even here, shivering and exposed in the warm summer air. It's this unstoppable force, this wanting to be close to him. Yet somehow, I refrain, thankfully.

"You're a goober," Seb says. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"Hmm, what's in it for me?"

"Who knows?" He walks over to a rock near the shore and scoops up his cerulean beach towel. I hold back laughs at his bow-legged, "the rocks are hurting my feet" stance. "Maybe we'll find some wild mushrooms along the way."

"Not funny. I was traumatized."

"Yeah, I am so sure."

I stand too, and he tosses me my ancient red-and-white striped towel. It hits me full on in the face, but it doesn't hurt. I sling it over my shoulder like nothing embarrassing just happened, and suddenly, I've got something I need to try. "Wanna go look out at the quarry?"

It's impossible to really see the rich green foliage surrounding the lake, or the green sheen of its algae-touched surface. The sky is blue and cloudless, the sun is bright, and even the lake's smell isn't terribly overpowering. And yet, all I can focus on is Seb. Seb's smiling face, the little crinkles near his eyes, how his lips curl up more playfully at the edges than anywhere else.

"You read my fucking mind."